Crook Town 3-1 Seaham Red Star, Saturday 14th October 2023

Crook Town 3-1 Seaham Red Star, Northern League Division 1, The Sir Tom Cowie Millfield, att. 312

Time is nearly upon us. Or me, at least. The legals are going through and I’ll soon be moving to the Pennines. How many more Northern League games will I ever see, with a plethora of new non-league grounds to visit in the West Yorks/Greater Manchester area? Thus, I plump for an old favourite, Crook Town. It’s that or Darlington in the National League North, and their football was abysmal when I saw them a fortnight ago. It’s a no brainer, which is lucky.

Millfield is easily in my top 3 of Northern League grounds. Two sides are built into a natural hill and you can easily imagine the place holding 10,000+ as it did in the glory days of the 1950s. Presently, two sides are grassed over (did they once hold terraces?) but there’s still a large terrace behind the near goal as you enter. These days, they have picnic tables on top. Today is gloriously sunny...but also cold. Typical north-eastern, even when the sun’s out it’s chilly. Having lived down south many years, I’m there in coat and scarf. I chat to the only other scarf-wearing fan in the ground, a lady of similar age. She’d have her gloves on too, she adds, if her son hadn’t already nicked them for himself. Meantime, there are still the usual types in their shorts. What is it about these people?

To the right is grass banking. ‘Please keep off the grass’ is emblazoned on each floodlight pylon. Are they trying to legally protect themselves in case an idiot slips on the bank? As it is, the only way to the top of the bank (and therefore enjoy a better view) is to keep ON the grass. Mind, few do, as the majority of the crowd are on the terrace or in the main stand.

As the terrace swings round the pitch, the refreshment kiosk divides it and the main stand. ‘Only Foods and Sauces.’ Brilliant. It’s right up there with Ryton’s ‘The Scran Van’. Big choice too, none of which I took up. Then the Main Stand, a traditional structure with a pitched roof immaculately painted. A floodlight pokes through the roof (and impedes visibility) but who cares? They don’t make ‘em like they used to!

Today I grab a beer from the social club (near the entrance) and find an unused picnic table to perch my ale on. Before long I’m joined by a couple of others, one man and his carer (true). We chat throughout the half and it’s a genuine surprise when the ref blows the half-time whistle. Time has flown. While they go off for a tea to warm up, I circumnavigate the ground, taking care TO KEEP OFF THE GRASS. I pass the obligatory non-league dog and have a good stroke. He’s a friendly chap.

Second half, I start on the terrace under cover. I’ve nipped into the social club to visit the gents and it’s very busy. I feel like half the crowd is in here to warm up. No-one is anywhere near finishing their pint as I leave to find the teams already out. Crook, halfway up the league are hosting strugglers Seaham Red Star. Within 15 minutes it’s one-all, as Crook’s lead lasts all of 2 minutes. Time ticks by and with 3 mins left and the draw looking likely, Crook throw on The Big Man. A free kick is punted from the centre spot, The Big Man holds off a defender and hooks home. Seaham attempt to respond but are picked off on the counter for 3-1. The fans from the social club are now grouped at the back of the terrace chanting about the glory of their Crook heroes. It’s a fine way to end.

The Damage:
£7 ent
£1 programme*
£3.80 Stella Artois (pint)
= £11.80

*which I lost, probably dropped on the floor when I took my coat off to get in the car. I wouldn't mind, but the last time I was here, they'd ran out. I'll never own a Crook Town FC programme!

Crook Town 1-4 North Shields, Wednesday 27th October 2021

Crook Town 1-4 North Shields, Northern League Division 1, The Sir Tom Cowie Millfield, att. 365

Having already been to Crook once this season (albeit a friendly) it was nice to come for pure enjoyment rather than the priority being a groundhop. Millfield is a glorious Northern League ground, and while it’s heyday of thousands may be long gone, Crook still get relatively healthy crowds in the Northern League. As of last Saturday, they had the 7th highest average, 318 (Consett currently have the highest, 543).

Tonight’s visitors, North Shields, are the 4th best supported (358) and brought a number this evening. Oftentimes, you’d be hard fetched to know in the Northern League if there are any away fans in the ground, but Shields fans appeared to take over the Main Stand…or were they just more vociferous in nature? Most of the Crook contingent stood on the covered terrace adjacent, and the general hubbub meant an excellent atmosphere. The vast majority of the crowd, 365, or one for every day of the year, was on this side of the pitch. The wind was up and there was rain in the air, though it mostly held off.

Opposite and behind the goal to the left are grass banks. A couple of teenagers idled behind one goal while perhaps a dozen elders camped on the far touchline. Behind the goal at the turnstile end is probably the biggest terrace left in the Northern League (alongside its covered neighbour) and it was here I stood to take a phone call….and witness the Shields’ equaliser, a flick on from a free kick. This tidily cancelled out Crook’s opener, another header from a free kick.

Half-time came, and I stood in a queue at the ‘Only fools and sauces’ refreshment hut. If only I didn’t detest cheese, the allure of a ‘Black and amber burger’ woulda been tempting…burger, black pudding, bacon and cheese. Yours for four-fifty. Instead, I waited 10 mins for a cuppa, the queue barely moved and I gave up as the players were back out on the pitch. A cosy alternative would have been to have a pint in the social club, but my snobbishness with regard to beer found me wanting.

Another want was a programme. I hung back at the entrance, to take a photo…and missed out on the last programme. Oh well. ‘Apparently you can pick one up online.’ Cheers, but my determination doesn’t stretch that far. Still, though, I did meet a dog dressed in his (black and amber) scarf, and yes, he is a season ticket holder. He didn’t speak for himself, I should add, the bloke attached to his lead told me. You can’t beat a dog bearing the team’s colours at a non-league game.

The second half was a non-event in terms of a competition, as Shields strolled to a 4-1 victory and Crook never threatening. While this leaves Crook firmly ensconced in midtable, Shields are up to 3rd and could yet challenge for the league. Mind, promotion is compulsory these days (or else they’re demoted 2 divisions…to the Northern League 2nd division). Do Shields WANT promotion? I dunno. But I know plenty that don’t, added costs an’ all.

The Damage:
£6 ent
= £6

The Tunes:
Tunes 2011-2019 (Burial)

Crook Town 1-3 Shildon, Saturday 17th July 2021

Crook Town 1-3 Shildon, Friendly, Millfield, att. c.150

Under normal circumstance, my opening game of a season would be in some European clime, probably a Europa League qualifier in Poland or somesuch. But times have changed. Coronavirus has wreaked havoc with football attendance for nigh on 17 months, while I’m now ‘home’ in the north-east helping an ailing father. Maybe one day I’ll see abroad again!

Enough of that though, as I try, for a second consecutive season, to see a match at every one of the 40 Northern League sides. I think I made it to 19 last year, before the pandemic curtailed the season. Speaking of which, today’s visitors Shildon were promoted from the Northern League to the Northern Premier East on the back of results over TWO incomplete seasons. Good luck in their new venture, hopefully ambition won’t lead to a fall…

I’d previously planned on going to see Annfield Plain v Esh Winning today, as I started last season watching Esh away in a friendly, but a late cancellation due to Covid in the home camp meant a quick change of venue. Well done to Esh and their Twitter feed for letting us know!

I plumped for Crook, partly as I expected a decent turnout and partly as it was one of 2 Northern League grounds garnering a mention in the recently published ‘British Football’s Greatest Grounds’ (the other being Tow Law’s Ironworks Road). And it’s a doozy. Wrought iron gates at the entrance, in the club colours of black and amber, boldly pronounce ‘Crook Town AFC’ as well as the ground’s official name. Being surrounded on 3 sides by housing, the turnstiles and social club are on this side too.

You enter behind the goal, where banking or steps lead up to a large (by NL standards) open terrace. Picnic tables lay at the top, every one being used on a searingly hot day. A pint and a view high up behind the goal. Perfect. The terrace continues around the touchline, with a rickety old roof for cover. The stanchions were again painted in club colours. This is one well looked after ground, as exemplified by the main stand, beautifully painted. This is where I took a pew, mainly to escape the hottest day of the year (probably).

Opposite was a grass bank looking for all it’s worth like a meadow, with flowers in full bloom. A number of folk sat at the top of the bank…maybe they’d read the warnings at the base of the 3 floodlight pylons on that side, ‘No standing on the grass’. But you’d have to walk on the grass to the floodlight to read the sign. Go figure.

Behind the goal was another grass bank, meaning elevated viewing from all 4 sides of the ground. Today, 3 pensioners enjoyed the view from their deckchairs in a back garden, while a young blonde lady sunbathed/watched from on top of her shed roof. Best view in the ground!

The teams came out to no fanfare whatsoever and I was rather surprised to look up to see both sides ready to start. Still, makes a change from various DJs trying to ‘get the crowd going’. The less said about the football in that 1st half, the better. Let’s just say they were warming up, and getting used to the fact the grass was so dry the ball wouldn’t run properly. That, and a lack of ability. I know it was hot, but looking at the size of some of these players, no wonder it was pedestrian. It seemed the size of your thighs denoted whether you got a game in central midfield, as it wasn’t passing ability. Still, it could be a bit tasty, such as when the Shildon captain, midfielder and bearer of extremely large thighs was laid out by a wispy youth on the oppo side. ‘Fuckin’ laugh? I’ll smash you in half!’ I love a friendly.

There were goals in the second half, however. The opener was set up by the Shildon right back, who had the excuse (again) of physique rather than age for his slowness. Unfortunately, his weak header back to the keeper was seized upon by a quick thinking forward who latched onto it and stroked it past the keeper. Later, said right back hit a thunderous shot off the bar from 25 yards, so he could kick a ball, however much it looked like he was panicking every time the ball came to him. At 47, my hopes of a game at semi-professional level are not over.

The goal awoke Shildon though who equalised a couple of minutes later and ran out easy 3-1 winners. A competitive workout in the end, with both sides throwing in some challenges and effort from both sides. Let’s see what the season brings!

The Damage:
£6 ent
£2 hot dog
£1 Coca-Cola
= £9

The Tunes:
BBC 6Music (Jamz Supernova)