BFC 0-1 Doncaster Rovers, Saturday 21st March 2026

’Do they have sarcasm in heaven?’

Is there ANYONE we can’t lose to? After relegation certs Rovrum and Port Vale humiliate us on our own patch, it is now former relegation certs Doncaster Rovers’ turn. Only we could lose a goalless draw. They were rubbish. We were rubbish. The game was rubbish.

Still, the day was enlivened by a quite remarkable interview post-match on Radio Sheffield, where Coach Conor told us we had no chance of a top 6 place, never had a chance of a top 6 place, and neither would we next season. Honesty? Negativity? Stupidity? Or all 3? Honesty, well yes, it’s difficult to get into the top 3 without a centre forward under 82 and no defence. Negativity? It’s one thing to be saying we’re not coming close this season, but next season too? And stupidity? Season ticket renewal begging letters will be out soon, and a strapline of ‘we’ve got no chance’ is a bemusing way to convince us to part with £400. It was a manifesto for being pessimistic. I can get onboard with that! But if your own manager can’t be a cheerleader for the team’s prospects, who can? Granted, I couldn’t stand the bullsh*t that came out of Little Lee’s big mouth, but you have to talk up your chances, don’t you?

Also, whatever we think of the current crop of players, it is the head coach’s job to get a tune out of them. Is Conor accepting how limited he is? This week we learnt that the Super Reds spend £11.5m (that’s MILLION) on wages in 24-25. I’d have thought that’s enough to put a challenge in this season, even if we’ve managed to offload Benson For Beds (The Glassman) and Watters off our wage bill. (The latter, I’m pretty sure IS on our wage bill, there’s no way Dundee United are paying him £6k/week.) I’d like to think that paying out 10 million+ in wages (I know, I know, it includes non-playing staff too, but surely you’re paying your players the most) would be enough to form a football team capable of beating one of Port Vale, Rovrum or Donny.

Master tactician Coach Conor had a new one on Satdy: he’d outfox Donny by playing our star winger as a centre forward. As A. Jones of Sidcup said, it was like when Davey played JCR centre mid. It didn’t take anyone in the stands longer than a quarter of an hour to see that Cleary clearly had no idea what he was doing. It took Conor 45. The answer? Hauling Banks, putting on The GOAT and reverting to the usual 4-2-3-1 with the Undynamic Dup holding fort on the halfway line. While I think about it Luca Connell has TWO deliveries: underhit and overhit. Is there NOBODY at Oakwell who can kick a deadball better than this shyster. If I see one more gently dinked outswinger from a Connell corner, I think I’ll explode. Or chunter on about what a waste of space he is. (He also had one of our…2?...shots in the 1st half, a typically weak effort dragged wide.)

That said, after nothing of substance happened in the opening half, we regained our mojo for 10 or 15 minutes. Kelly was driving forward, taking players on. Yoganathan was winning it, losing it, winning it...and losing it again (but had at least gained some territory) while McG flitted about in his inimitable way. Then we switch off. A ball comes in from their right, and Corey O’Keeffe ends up the wrong side of the forward before ‘a silly tug’ (The Yorkshire Post). I couldn’t really see, but the Donny fans certainly felt it was a pen. On looking at it on telly, I’m surprised O’Keeffe didn’t get a red card too, preventing a tap-in. Another week, another failure to keep a clean sheet.

Worse, former useless Red Elliott Lee pokes a low one just to the keeper’s left. Sadly, the keeper goers right. Story of Crapman’s season. Still, the award was a slight surprise. The ref had been letting plenty of challenges go, which pleased everybody. Then he gave Donny 3 cheap free kicks in 5 minutes for their equivalent of the ‘Shepherd Flop.’ As for the winning ticket for our own ‘Shepherd Flop’, we’ll never know. Donny scoring broke the scoreboard. I’d say Jack’s latest effort was around 83 (minutes in, not marks out of 100).

A goal down, at home to local rivals, we piled forward for the last 20 and had them pinned in their box, keeper making save after save. Or b) our only effort was a smart move in the last minute that led to Kelly stabbing it goalwards and the keeper turning it around the post superbly. (Not sure it was going in, mind.)

The season is officially over. Anyone who thought we’d ever challenge for a play-off place is an idiot. Conor says so.

Onwards and upwards!

*** Kelly. I don’t know how this lad keeps up his morale, constantly driving forward while all around stand and watch.
** O’Connell. There must be some reason they’re not getting near our goal. (‘Cos they were crap?’)
* Lennon. Had a positive 20 mins after coming on for Cleary, wide left.

Official MOTM: Kelly

Londontykes’ MOTM: 1. Kelly 2. O’Connell 3= Lennon / McGoldrick

Despatches:
I tried resisting temptation to be positive pre-match, but the sun shone down, and I’d not seen queues like this at Oakwell for a while. Suspiciously long queues. ‘Searching people for tennis balls’ was the theory. Why else would there be lines of folk snaking from each turnstile? I’m presuming it had nothing to do with the box office being shut. Maybe BFC are just like the rest of us – beholden to when a tradesman can actually be bothered to make it. There must be some reason they’re not doing this work in the summer. Oh, and writing ‘POLITE NOTICE’ on a notice DOES NOT MAKE IT SO. So we now have a portacabin for a ticket office till some Polish bloke pops round to sort it out. (Actually, if he was Polish, the job would already be done.)

The players? I love the idea that we were hit hard by Bradshaw’s late withdrawal. Guess what? Donny were without their star player, Luke Molyneux, and their star former Blunt pensioner centre forward Billy. Maybe Rovrum can bring in Keith Edwards and all these crap League 1 South Yorkshire sides can have one. Let’s not also forget that Donny’s defence was marshalled by Matty Pearson, considered not good enough at Oakwell seemingly 20 years ago. (He was a crap left back, but played alright centre half.) I never noticed Elliott Lee, either with us or against.

Goodman had nothing to do in goal, but did it very well. Shepherd was back for MdG at centre half, another outlandish decision from Coach Conor. Sadly, he only miscontrolled it and nearly fell over once, nearly putting them clean through. I know MdG isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, but at least he can control a ball, and run forward with it. Watson was this week’s ‘right footer at left back’ (while we had 2 left footed left backs on the bench). The highlight, possibly of the match, if not his own performance, was when Tennai messed up a throw-in and hoofed the ball 60 yards upfield in a hissy fit. He scored as well. Yellow card, hilarious. O’Keeffe...well, he settled the game, so well done him.

Connell, I’ve nothing new to expand on. Bit like his game, really. Bland did ok coming on, even making a run forward (just the one). Banks was unlucky to be dragged, possibly putting his hand up at half-time when Conor asked ‘who wants to be pulled off?’ McGoldrick had a nightmare opening 20, giving the ball away 4 or 5 times, while Cleary continues to show he needs a fortnite off.

Drink du jour: Verdant Lightbulb at Spiral.

Away: 2,824 (13,026). ‘Your support is f***ing sh*t’ the away end sang…not realising that at the time (1st half), it was our best atmosphere in months. We soon put an end to it though, and by the end were chanting against the board (of course).

The Damage:
£7 petrol
= £7

Salford City 1-1 Doncaster Rovers, Tuesday 15th April 2025

Salford City 1-1 Doncaster Rovers, League 1, Peninsula Stadium (Moor Lane), att. 3,030

I’m going rogue tonite. Nevermind a non-lge game, there’s a tempting match up in League 2 of the EFL. Salford are on the cusp of the play-offs, while Donny are chasing an automatic promotion place. For the home side, it’s must-win. For Rovers, a draw will consolidate their position, while a win will have them dreaming of the title, nevermind top 3.

Having experienced Salford before, I’m a little more prepared. Don’t park too close to the ground (parking restrictions) but park close enough to walk. Turn the car around, so you’re ready for the return journey. Get there early enough to have a beer from the 7 Bro7hers shipping container inside the ground. The parking arrangement went to plan, but the shipping container is shut. Oh well. I go into the main social club (behind the South Stand) where I can have anything, as long as it’s famous and tasteless. I pass, tho I wouldn’t mind a game of table football, if I had anybody to play. (I think it’s aimed at giving the kids something to do.)

Thus, I’m very early to the terrace and spend my time on my phone. In surveying the identikit stands, I notice they’re not. Although the roofs on this modern rebuild are all at the same height, due to the slope of the pitch, the back wall is higher behind the South Stand seats than the North Stand. There endeth the interesting features of the Peninsula Stadium, nee Moor Lane.

It’s filling up nicely – in the away end. The eventual crowd of just over 3 thousand is heavily reliant on the Rovers contingent, around 1200. They also provide most of the atmosphere, helped by an early blast from Street, which I enjoyed being right behind. The keeper had no chance. However, the game ends all square as Garbutt scores direct from a free kick a few minutes later (the keeper definitely had a chance with that one).

Otherwise, it’s end-to-end, without it being thrilling, the only footnote being a last minute 2nd yellow for Salford centre half Tilt. Donny consolidate 2nd, but for Salford the play-offs are starting to look remote.

The Damage:
£20 ent
= £20

Wakefield AFC 0-6 Doncaster Rovers, Tuesday 20th July 2021

Wakefield AFC 0-6 Doncaster Rovers, Friendly, Millenium Stadium, Post Office Road (Featherstone), att. 607

I was very excited in advance of this game – after seeing mainly Northern League games over the last year and a half, I was visiting an actual STADIUM, complete with stands (plural), terracing and floodlights. Plus cheerleaders. I’ve never seen cheerleaders at a FRIENDLY. Of course, I wasn’t at an actual football stadium, I was at Featherstone Rovers’ rugby league ground to see tenants Wakefield in action.

Wakefield, formed in 2019, are at the lowest rung of the non-league ladder, the Sheffield and Hallamshire County Senior League and thus Donny Rovers marks a plumb friendly. Wondering how such a lowly side could pull a League 1 side, the clue might be in Wakefield’s manager – former Donny centre half Adam Lockwood. Either way, I was pleased to make up the number today, quite probably a record attendance for Wakefield.

I made it for kick-off too, which was quite the surprise after problems on the way. I was due to pick up a mate, Loko, pre-match but an accident on the A1(M) just after Wetherby brought some improvisation on my behalf, as I turned off and re-routed via Tadcaster. Indeed, I saw more racecourses than football stadiums today (Wetherby and Pontefract). I had to get to the game though, as Loko had bought tickets!

Wakefield thus far don’t have a stadium they can call their own, having previously played just outside Barnsley, but their ambitions are high, aiming to become professional. The move to ‘Fev’ represents progress, as it’s at least under a Wakefield postcode, and only 15 minutes’ drive from Wakefield city centre (on a good day).

The Millenium Stadium AKA Post Office Road is a tidy stadium which wouldn’t look out of place in the English lower divisions. The capacity is around 7,000, with modern cantilevered stands on 3 sides, one of which used to be at Scarborough’s Seamer Road ground before its demise. They’ve changed the colour of the seats though – to blue. The other end is a small open terrace, which wraps around each side and is overlooked by houses on…Post Office Road.

Tonite, over 600 turned out, and for 10 minutes the home side took it to Rovers, missing a couple of great chance. But once Donny scored, it was game over. Was it 0-2 at half-time? Whatever, the professionals ran away with it second half as attack played defence and a six goal battering was about right. The gap between the sides looked like what it was – about 8 divisions.

Loko and I stood behind the goal Wakey attacked 1st half, before a half-time ‘99’ and a seat in the stand. Sadly, we’d arrived too late for a match programme, but I’d thoroughly enjoyed my visit, played out in balmy evening sunshine. I need to visit more rugby league grounds…

The Damage:
£10 ent
£5 ice cream (x2)
= £15

The Tunes:
Con Todo el Mundo (Khruangbin)
The World of Goa Trance, Volume 2 (Various)
Próxima Estación: Esperanza (Manu Chau)

BFC 1-1 Doncaster Rovers, Saturday 24th November 2018

‘It’s Angie’s turn.’

Be Proud.

More apologies for the late posting of a match report.  Maybe I should apologise the one time I’m on time?  So, what can I remember from 4 days ago?  We problies looked the better team, but Donny undoubtedly had the better chances and, were it not for a superb Adam Davies save, we’d have lost with the last kick of the game.  But we can’t say we weren’t warned – Donny must have broke 3 on 3 half a dozen times, and were it not for the worst interpretation by a centre forward of the offside law seen at Oakwell since a Mr B. Dire used to give linesmen overtime, we’d have long been despatched.  As it was, Marquis (?) saved our bacon time and time again with his ineptitude.

The teams come out...

Still, it’s difficult to win a game when so many individuals were below par.  Bahre couldn’t do s***, no matter how much he tried.  Someone put him out of his misery and drag him off.  No – full game (though I notice he was dropped for Sunderland last nite).  Hedges?  Is it even news how awful he is? A once promising winger is now forced to play 4^th choice left back, and it shows.  He has no semblance of how to defend, and the theory that he’d be any good going forward has long since left this parish.  Then there’s the enigma that is Cavare.  A couple of times, he came across (from right back) to cover deficiencies on the left flank.  But what’s the point if you’re going to give the opposition the ball?  Twice he ceded possession in our box (including the last gasp chance for Donny to win it), which is criminal, and that’s not including giving Donny the ball for their goal.  Can you teach CONCENTRATION?  (Could we get one of the subs to run alongside him on the touchline, shouting ‘CONCENTRATE’ at him, every couple of minutes or so?)

The Donny hordes

So, thank goodness for Cauley Woodrow, on as sub on the hour mark, and hooking in the equaliser a couple of minutes later.  Moncur was on too, and we had Donny pinned back, for all of…oooooh….10 minutes?  I can’t remember us missing any chances as such, mainly cos nobody wants to give the ball to Kiefer Moore in a scoring position.  Rule number one for any school team: GIVE THE BALL TO THE BEST PLAYER.  Preferably somewhere near their goal.  We continue to give Donny space on the break, and it would have been no surprise to see them snatch it.  (Did I also mention they hit the bar 1^st half with a 25 yarder?)  Let’s be positive: this was a point won against decent opposition.  You can’t win ‘em all, I guess.

Onwards and upwards!

*** Pinnock.  Class personified.  Superlative positioning, cool, calm and composed; never flustered under pressure, played the ball out to teammates.  Best centre half performance I’ve seen this season.  Twitter MOTM.

** Lindsay.  Some good tackles and blocks; the perfect foil for Pinnock.

* Moore.  Head and shoulders…etc

Londontykes' MOTM:  1. Pinnock  2. Lindsay  3. Davies

The autumn sun lowers over the Ponty.

Despatches:

F***ing East Midland Trains, or whatever they’re called this week.  Our tickets were double booked, so I could hardly boot out the lovely ladies in our seats.  Anton and I went to the unreserved carriage…which didn’t exist.  7 carriages, 3 of which were 1^st class.  Packed train, anyone getting on north of London only got a seat if someone left the train.  Pathetic.  As I told the ticket inspector/train guard, after I’d walked 3 carriages for a p***.  ‘It’s a bit busy cos it’s Saturday and there’s football on.’  What?  Like there is every week from August to May?  F*** me.  Get a grip, East Midland.

Under ‘highlight of the day’ we also learned that Andy Reed would have been ‘Angela’ had he been born without a little Andy.  A new nickname was born.

Can the owner of a lemon please come to staircase B...

Drink du jour: A welcome return of JD and Coke.  Wheat beer (Scheneiderweiss?) in the Old #7, then unfiltered Bernard in the Sheffield Tap.  I do like the Sheffield Tap.

Away: 1,800, I think.

The Damage:
£30 train
= £30

The Tunes:
Bottle It In (Kurt Vile)
Wakin On A Pretty Day (Kurt Vile)
Electro-Soma (B12)

Ponty End pano v Donny (cheers Jonesy!)

The walk up the hill to Oakwell.

Fans outside the Ponty.

The minimalist offerings of the East Stand club shop.

The old Main Stand.

The Super Reds defend a late corner.

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