BFC 2-1 Exeter City, Saturday 7th March 2026

’Did you know today is the anniversary of your dad’s death?’ ‘No.’

Whatthehell was that protest? 24 tennis balls are thrown from the Ponty End and a few fans accompany it with ‘You greedy bastards, get out of our club.’ We can’t even do protests right. Was there forewarning? Did anybody else know about it? Or was it dreamed up in the pub youth club beforehand? I guess that, it not being a school nite, there’s more of da yoof in than Tues nite.

I wouldn’t mind, but it’s not like it even benefited the town’s economy, being that Slazenger closed their tennis ball making factory 20 odd years ago. Pathetic. As was the ‘protest’. Depending on who I listened to at half-time, these owners of ours have put in £15-20m over three years or so. They might make some poor decisions, but I’m not sure I’d call them ‘greedy’.

Worse, the tennis balls came flying on as we were crushing Exeter, two-nil up and looking for more. The balls killed momentum, but hey! The last thing you want when you’re protesting is the team doing well. (See also: us scoring a late winner at Oldham to end Little Lee’s 8 losses in a row.) It does nought for the cause. McGoldrick had put us one up after Cleary put him through, time standing still as he advanced forward before dinking it over the diving keeper. Then, just past the hour mark, McG puts in a cross for Yoganathan to head home. Yes, our Welsh Sri Lankan was picked ahead of the Welsh GOAT.

It wasn’t the only unusual selection by Coach Conor. Having seen the team pre-match, speculation was rife that we’d be going back 3. No chance. The Ruben Amorim of League 1 sticks to what he knows. By putting the kitchen fitter at left back in a back 4. Inspired? Insane? Well, the only thing he did wrong was chopping down a Grecian for a booking, but injury saved him a 2nd one (lasting 5 minutes of the second half), Coach Conor deciding not to haul him at half-time. I was quite looking forward to Conor leaving a youngster on for the 3rd time this season to get a 2nd yellow (and then hanging him out to dry in the post-match interview).

I don’t remember much happening after this, till the subs. Exeter were quite the most awful side I’ve seen this season, absolutely no threat whatsoever. So Coach Conor drags Cleary and Bradshaw for Banks and The GOAT. The un-dynamic duo (Connell and Bland) back to showcase their central midfield dominance. They score 3 minutes later. So much for seeing out the game. Still, it’s difficult to blame anybody but MdG (outjumped) and O’Connell (slipped). Can you imagine US scoring from a 50 yard hoof into their box? Still, it’s entertaining, eh Conor? BTTS, etc.

We survived a scramble soon after (MdG clearing) and that was about it. I think the goal woke us up a bit, in that we were more wary about the chances of conceding. It certainly didn’t make us more attacking. Or was that the manpower changes? Banks had a long ranger tipped round the post, but the ref gave a goalkick. Have they changed the rules? Maybe shots have to be on target in the first place.

Then, with 3 or 4 minutes left, the depression of watching us try to timewaste a corner. Absolutely zero players put in their box, we’ll attempt to eat up a few ‘valuable seconds’. This narks me beyond picking the kitchen fitter. THERE ARE SEVERAL MINUTES TO GO and this piece of crapmanship only serves to tell the opposition we have NO INTENTION of scoring a goal…which means they can commit as many men forward as they wish. I’ll tell you what WOULD ensure victory. Extending the lead by heading in a corner. But I’m not sure we’ve done that all season. (How many HAVE Shepherd, Roberts, MdG or O’Connell scored? I’m pretty sure Earl got one, but he might have been left back that day for all I know.)

2-1 Super Reds. Woop woop.

Onwards and upwards!

*** Yoganathan. It’s him or McG. Yoga won balls, strode forward, passed to Reds players. Like a slow motion Kelly. Oh, and he scored. You don’t get that from Bland.
** McGoldrick. What a player. Mr Consistent in an inconsistent team.
* O’Keeffe. This is getting annoying. The opposition refuse to attack O’Keeffe, thereby making him look like a good player…and at least he tries to get up the park and create summat.

Official MOTM: McGoldrick

Londontykes’ MOTM: 1. Yoganathan 2. McGoldrick 3. O’Keeffe

Despatches:
As the second half meandered into nothingness (again) I was daydreaming (again). I was daydreaming about what other people daydream about. What’s for tea? The latest situation in the Middle East (doubtful). Is it me or is it getting cold? This is obviously as well as ‘what is Conor doing?’ ‘Why are we trying to protect a two goal lead against possibly the worst side to come to Oakwell this season?’

That said, individual performances weren’t great. Phillips was anonymous, and had I not seen Bradshaw’s part in the opening goal (clicking the ball onto Cleary) I’d have said he didn’t touch the ball all day. Ogbeta looks more hapless by the week. Is that what you get when you take a player out of the team for playing well? He loses all confidence, in and out of the team? MdG and O’Connell again looked our best central defensive partnership, yet still manage to prove it’s incapable of doing a job for 90 minutes. Connell wasn’t bad. Another sign of how poor some others looked? Cleary looked alright, but wasn’t given the ball enough. Crapman, meantime, had nothing to do. If I’d been in the nets this week, we’d have still only conceded one.

I was amused to hear Coach Conor’s latest spin. ‘3 wins in 5’. Blimey. That’s promotion form. I presume it’s also ‘3 wins in 6’ and WLWLWLWLWLWL does not for a place in the play-offs make. Still, if we win our 3 games in hand (laughing emoji).

Drink du jour: Beartown Inception at Spiral.

Away: 347 (9,706). Most remarkable for ‘Barnsley’s a sh*thole, I wanna go home’ chant before we’d even kicked off. They were as quiet as us after that, as befitted our lowest crowd of the season (lge only).

The Damage:
£7 petrol
= £7

BFC 1-2 Exeter City, Tuesday 1st April 2025

‘He’s not looking for alcohol, he’s looking for a footballer.’

On the opening day of April, it was time for the fools to gather once again at Jokewell. (The players? Or fans? Both were similar in number.) Another appalling home performance, punctuated by a 10 or 15 minute spell around our goal and that’s the story of our season. I thought those opening home wins in January were the start of something. Fortress Oakwell, etc. Not a bit of it. We have reverted to type and since those victories over Wrexham and Crawley we have won 1, drawn 2 and lost 4. And I’d argue we’ve been lucky to win the 3 we have done...Wrexham, hanging on for the entire 2nd half, Crawley, Kilip making save after save (albeit at 3-0) and Lincoln, where we won 4-3 with an XG of close to 1. What did I say the other week about not knowing when you’ve hit rock bottom? This could continue for years, nevermind weeks.

Anyway, it was nice for Bob and Mo to jet in from Lanzarote (via a freezing cold Scarborough) for the match. They can see what the rest of us have to put up with. It takes Exeter an embarrassing 13 minutes to go ahead, THAT’S how bad they are. They’ve already skied one from 6 yards early doors, so we can’t say we haven’t been warned. The defence are all over the shop as Roberts blocks, Flavell saves...and the ball drops for them to tap in. Is he offside? He’s behind the nearest defender. But oh no, McCarthy has jogged towards the line in the pandemonium and is playing them on.

Worse is to come, before half-time, as another scramble, more defensive pandemonium, it’s 0-2, O’Keeffe failing to stop it crossing the line. The ref points to the halfway line, the scoreboard comes up 0-2, Wigan...dammit, EXETER (I kept making this mistake last nite, I guess I was linking our previous opponents to last nite’s colour of strip, blue) are celebrating. We are down and out, already beaten by a team with as much to play for as us (though I guess they have ‘pride’). But what’s this? There’s arguing, the ref’s now in our box. He’s only gone and chalked it off. What was it that everyone was saying about him being terrible? (He was.) A foul no-one in the ground saw...or no-one in the ground who I spoke to, though at about 10, that was half the crowd...turns out there was a tug on Russell.

I can’t remember us creating loads of chances to equalise, but let’s presume we did and fast forward to the second half. Hourihane goes all decisive, hauls Bland and Nwakali for Watters and Connell and goes 4-4-2. (He’s already shown his decisiveness in not including Phillips in the squad, reputedly for arriving late for a meeting. Mind, this reminds me of school...if you can get out of something by being a d*ck, won’t this encourage players to act like d*cks? None of them want to play for us (do they?) so getting an evening off sounds cushty to me.

Then it happens! I’d never have believed it if I wasn’t there. If I was watching the highlights, I’d presume this was something concocted by AI. But I SAW IT. We counter attacked AT SPEED from their corner. I know. I’ve only waited all season for this. A fortunate clearance even more fortuitously lands at the feet of DKD (the only Red capable of making this happen) and he runs forward, pulls the defender to him and plays a perfectly weighted ball to the overlapping Humphreys who fires into the far corner via the keeper’s hand. YOU BEAUTY! So it CAN be done. We then have a spell where we actually force the keeper into the odd save and get a couple of corners. The sparsely populated Ponty awoke from its slumber (it was surprising how so few could make a noise). I turned to Bob. ‘You’ll be able to say we could’ve won that!’

Then the inevitable. MdG falls over (whatthehell was he trying to do?) and has his pocket picked, the Grecian strolling forward at an angle and burying it at Flavell’s near post. Oh well, at 81 minutes, at least it was earlier than most of our late goals conceded. Time indeed to contemplate ANOTHER home defeat. Against ANOTHER 3rd division side. (Who was it in the pub objected to me terming League 1 ‘division 3’?) Pitiful.

Onwards and upwards!

*** Humphreys. Go on then. Smart finish for the goal and made a couple of promising runs (before filing to deliver).
** DKD. Dropped deep at times to probe, but we’d never have scored without him.
* Flavell. Made a couple of saves, and I don’t blame him for either goal. It’s easy to say he should’ve covered his near post for the winner, but he’s having to watch out for the cross too. Poor bloke problies ended last nite cross-eyed.

Official MOTM: Humphreys

Londontykes’ MOTM: 1. Humphreys 2. DKD 3. Flavell

Despatches:
Too many players had poor games. In the space of 5 minutes I heard the bloke behind me complain how bad O’Keeffe, McCarthy and MdG were, all 3 committing criminal mistakes in that short period (the latter leading to their winner). What’s happened to MdG since he came back from his ban? To blame for 2 in 2 now and less than inspiring before that. O’Keeffe? Listen, I get that he’s set up (read: provided the last pass after a killer move) a number of goals, but the lad can’t defend, a basic trait needed in a ‘defender’ one would have thought. He’s had time...nearly two seasons...and he’s had enough head coaches...Collins, Devaney, Clarke, Hourihane...but he refuses to improve. McCarthy got better as the game went on, but from a low bar. And fair play to Roberts with that early block, I thought that bloke behind would complete the set.

The midfield? We had a midfield? Nwakali was so bad he was hauled at half-time. Connell was so bad the coach forced him to stay on. What was that 40 yard forward ball for a goalkick all about? There wasn’t a red shirt within 20 yards of it. Russell showed some nice touches. Up top, Jalo had a mare. If the ball went in his direction he couldn’t control it. Watters came on at the interval for Bland. Why? He’s never a right wing back. Or a centre forward. Anonymous, tho, like Connell, my abiding highlight of him was misplacing a simple ball into touch. (This was after he’d chased the ball down into the corner, held it up...you know, done all the RIGHT things...then kicked an easy ball out for a throw.)

The attendance. Laughable. A reputed 10,000 was never more than 6, and more likely 5,000. The season ticket holders have spoken. Will they now start SHOUTING by not renewing? We are in serious trouble if they/we don’t.

Drink du jour: House Party IPA in Spiral.

Away: 188 (10,092). And half a dozen of them came bowling along Grove Street post match, singing ‘we always win at Oakwell’. 3 in a row and counting.

The Damage:
c.£8 petrol
£27 replica shirt
= c. £8

BFC 0-2 Exeter City, Saturday 8th October 2022

‘He’s one-on-one with Zorro ere, tha’ noz’

What was that? Hopefully, it’s the kick up the ar5e we need. ‘Teams like Barnsley Exeter’ aren’t going to turn up, lie on their backs and have their tummies tickled…we have to EARN the victory. And we just never got started, Satdy. Despite some nice one touch stuff where it doesn’t hurt, despite Cole having the speed to strip a (fat) centre half over 10 yards despite giving said centre half 6 yards headstart, despite our recent run of victories, despite the fact we hadn’t lost at home to Exeter since before some of us even started watching the Reds (1977, I looked it up)….yes, we lost. It was dismal from start to finish – or so I’m told.

I rocked up at 10 to 3. Positively early by my standards. And I was still outside the East Stand at 2 minutes past kick-off as I couldn’t find my season ticket on that there new-fangled gadget speaking telegraph which people are using these days. I couldn’t remember the app….was it Google Pay? Google Play? I hunted through my emails but the ‘search’ facility couldn’t find any emails from Barnsley FC, though I knew there to be one at some point in the summer with my ST details. So, despite being a bloke, I asked some people….but of course, they all had iphones rather than Android. So I asked the yoof on the turnstile. He didn’t know what app it was on either….yet still managed to find my ST in less than 20 seconds.

Straightaway, I noticed the scoreboard wasn’t working. It said we were losing one-nil. I knew this not to be the case cos we played the next 40 odd minutes as if it was goalless. No urgency, no sense of wanting to score, we were just waiting for them to score before trying to do owt about it, weren’t we? Our only hope was their keeper, fumbling a gentle long ranger and…what was his other f*** up? I think he tried dribbling round Cole and ‘got away with one’. No worries though. Duff will give them a kicking and it’ll be one way traffic towards the Ponty, 2nd half.

Well, it was one way traffic. Exeter extended their lead, scoring another early goal. Lisa’s son Jay grabs a second, gifted by Mads, somehow losing a 70-30 tackle allowing a low cross and tap home for a centre forward in the 6 yard area without a Reds player within similar yardage. Turns out we are the feel-good story of the day, as we’ve allowed this Fulham loanee to score his 1st goals for Exeter since taking his (dead) dad’s old #9 shirt. It’s a nice story. I’m happy for him. No, really. Honestly.

There is no doubt who deserves to win this game. We are picked off on the break and the score could have been far, far worse. Clean through against The Mask, they hit the side-netting. A two-on-one is messed up with a poor pass. And the full-time whistle is blown with them about to be clean through. In return we have a 7 yarder blazed over the bar from Aitchison after he’s controlled it with his chest. I’m sorry, but this, for me, is unforgivable from a professional footballer. Thankfully, everyone else has forgotten this miss, and it didn’t even make the TV ‘highlights’. A footballer cannot hit the target from 7 yards, under no pressure, with the ball hanging deliciously at just the right height.

Onwards and upwards!

*** Kitching. Another game where our left sided centre half outshoots our attacking players.
** Cole. Made some great runs, with and without the ball. Zero support.
* Cadden. Just for the pass of the day, a 45 yard crossfield ball straight to a Barnsley player.

Official MOTM: Mads. Mad. Let’s just focus on the 2 things he did. Gave them a goal (and where was he for the 1st?) and blazed over a header.

Londontykes’ MOTM: 1, Cole 2. Kitching 3. Andersen

Despatches:
Great turnout in Spiral City, as former Londontyke pool team ‘ringer’ Chris Badman came to see his beloved Exeter. At least one ‘Londontyke’ had a good day! And poor Jude…..Jonesy promised #1 son his 1st home match of the season, and with a strike-ridden rail network they drove up, along with Slacki and Reedy. A 400 mile return journey for that and without copious amounts of hard liquor to dull the pain. Maybe they can take solace from the biggest (home) cheer of the day, when the PA system inadvertently started playing some music midway through the second half. I am reliably informed it was ‘Dakota’ by the Stereophonics, a band so ‘meh’ they are Wayne Rooney’s favourite. It was that kind of day.

Drink du jour: Brewdog Planet Pale Ale.

Away: 475. Good effort. God knows what time they set off. Probably the day before, train strike an’ all.

Today’s take home: Find the app before you leave the pub. (Or stay in the pub.)

The Damage:
c.£31 travel
= £31

The Tunes:
BB6 Music (Huey Morgan / Craig Charles’ Funk and Soul Show)
BBC5 Live (Fighting Talk)
Return to the Source (Various)