‘He’s a specialist.’
FUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK |
| Town centre improvements come on apace. |
History repeats itself, first as tragedy, second as farce (Karl Marx). Another abso-f***ing-lute nightmare that was entirely of our own making as we ship in a late goal at home to a relegated side down to 10 men and with their centre forward in goal. Yes, IN GOAL. I do not give the slightest gnat’s chuff that they scored 7 minutes and 41 seconds into 7 minutes of injury time – YOU PLAY TILL THE FINAL WHISTLE. And, despite said goalkeeping situation, we didn’t put a single ball in their box, or have a shot, in that last 10 minutes they were disabled. After all, we are now winning, they’re s*** (see ‘2nd off bottom and relegated’). We don’t even have to do owt, this game is won. Well, cheers BFC. For a second time in 4 games we have lost at home to a side in the bottom 6 with 10 men. In short, a calamity.
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| Welcome to...a queue! At Oakwell! |
Needless to say, I missed said goal. What with a train to catch, that 7 mins injury time was cutting it a bit fine and, besides, I had a toilet trip to fit in. So, for the second time in 6 weeks, I have the joy of hearing the opposition goalscorer’s name while p***ing into a metal trough. Double sigh. You clowns, Barnsley, you utter, utter, sh*ts. Still, you get what you deserve. And for 10 minutes v 10 men, the defence knocked it around nonchalantly and aimlessly, the midfield didn’t know whether to attack or hold shape, fearing the counter and Hamill showboated the ball out of play for a goalkick (with Brownhill screaming at him for the easy lay back). I know some of the crowd weren’t impressed at the passing it around defence, but at least we had possession and they only had one man scurrying around after it. But, really, there’s a lesson to be learnt. If we’re incapable of seeing out the clock, at least go for a second goal. The minute you don’t go for the jugular, it tells the opposition they are free to hit you on the counter with no risk. But why didn’t we AT LEAST have a shot, or a cross? Surely this keeper would spill it, even if he made the save? Christ, Barnsley. Christ. You even f***ed up your own end of season celebration as fans streamed out of Oakwell rather than a) invade the pitch or b) stick around to watch a bunch of dejected players be forced to parade the John Stones Paint Trophy around the pitch to muted applause. (Did anyone invade the pitch? Did many stay behind?)
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| Thumbs up from Toby, pre-match. |
And it had started so…badly, as a give and go in the 1st minute ended with them hitting the post from a decent chance. 1st half play rebounded from end to end and both sides had chances. They scored there’s, the centre forward running on to a through pass to beat Davies, while we had Super Sammy Winnall. Ahhhh, Sammy Winnall. A centre forward so limited that even in hitting 20 goals he’s no higher than 10th in the Londontykes’ POTY standings. Inbetween his fallings over, his inability to hold a ball up, his ability to actually disappear, he missed the unmissable, as a cutback to him was somehow saved by their keeper. Sorry, SSW, I don’t care how good a save it was, the keeper shouldn’t have had the chance. He’s virtually stood by the post and you’ve hit him from 6 yards out. Geoffrey Boycott’s mam could have wafted that one home. Half-time and 0-1, though I was far from dejected. It had essence of the Oxford game. We’d not played great, but still made the odd chance (Mawson hit the bar with a header too), while surely this was as good as Colchester could get. And besides, we had the Ponty to kick towards in the second half.
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| A busy Ponty End. |
So it was, we equalised fairly early on, Fletcher taking a ball on the halfway line and running at their defence. Skill, pace and power (only 3 things SSW lacks) took it past 3 of them and then an unerring finish under pressure. I know one centre forward at the club with a bright future. The shackles are now off and you can see the relief/belief in the team. From now on it’s all Barnsley and the keeper makes a number of saves, including a superb effort to deny Roberts’ header off a corner.
However, we finally do go ahead after a spell of not very much happening. There is a cross from the left and we have 2 on 1 on the back post. Chapman is closed down by the keeper, who saves and Fletcher heads the loose ball into an empty net. Where’s our centre forward? Super Sammy Winnall was about a yard in from the East Stand touchline, by us. We are at our most potent when SSW is nowhere near their goal! The crowd go delirious – the play-offs are ours – while the keeper collapses. At first I thought he was play-acting, cos I’m sure I saw him turn around and react to us scoring before he went down. Anyway, several minutes of treatment see him carried off and replaced by the centre forward; Colchester have already used their subs. Hard cheddar, etc.
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| Opposition goalkeeping injuries...sponsored by Hayselden. |
So it is, we have time and space to do what the hell we like and what the hell we like is to walk around the pitch p***ing around with a football. Barnsley FC: you will have all summer to dwell on these 10 minutes if we don’t make the play-offs. And if we do get promotion, hell, have a triple Jagermeister for every minute you p***ed around on that pitch late on. You can even include the injury time minutes, if yer like.
Colchester equalise, a right wing cross headed confidently home by some cheeky scamp inbetween a dozing Roberts and Mawson. I know this cos Sky kindly showed this goal while we were in the pub in Donny afterwards. It’s like the good old days under Little Lee. F***ing f*** f***.
*** Fletcher of Man U. This will be the most one-sided MOTM all season. Even before his goals he was superb, leading the line, holding the ball up, running at players, taking a bit of physical. Set up SSW’s chance. Needn’t have bothered. Twitter MOTM. I’m hard-pressed to think of anyone else who did themselves justice.
** No-one. Honestly, I don’t think anyone else was worthy.
* No-one. I considered Roberts, for being more dangerous up front than SSW, but no. Any defenceman conceding 2 at home to Col U cannot be realistically considered.
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| 170 Unitedites. Allegedly. |
Hammill and his f***ing showboating. Tell you what Adam – wait till we’re winning by 2 or more, THEN perhaps ignore Brownhill’s shouts for a pass and showboat it out of play for a goalkick to them. Idiot. Winnall. Did I tell you he was s***? Doesn’t so much need ‘resting’ as dropping completely. He is NOTHING without Marley Watkins. Mind, he’s not much WITH him. SSW highlight of the day: their defender dives after being brushed by Winnall (the kind of thing Winnall always tries but never gets away with). Ref gives free kick. Ha. Williams wasn’t at his best today. Maybe one day we’ll see him on his correct side. Scowen was possibly alright, cos his energy got him up the field a bit, but I still remember him being skinned in the 1st minute for their chance. Hourihane I never saw, though I believe he took a corner. Brownhill ran around snapping, while Isgrove was poor today. Another player who looked like he was back to his December worst. Chapman came on, and aside from his backpost effort leading to Fletcher scoring, did nowt. Aside from THAT goal at Walsall, I’ve not been impressed. Saving his best for the play-offs?Talking of which, no need to feel down. I will echo Heckingbottom’s pre-match comments; going to Wigan with something to play for represents a supreme achievement given what went on before. I have said for a number of games that if we need a result at Wigan, we’ll get one. They’re champions, they’ll come on, take their applause, then lie down and die like good uns. I know this cos it’s what we’d do. It’s what we have done. And if we don’t win, there’s always the chance that neither Gills nor Scunny will either.
All to play for – COME ON YOU REDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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| Kick-off time at Oakwell. |
Drink du jour: Bottled Erdinger, then I note an on-tap Primator in the Old #7 (the wheat beer the Sheffield Tap has on). Yes please. Cheeky Stella at Donny followed by copious amounts of vodka and orange for the train, partly to dull the pain of having Newcastle fans on the adjacent table. They were surprisingly alright actually. (Was I drunk?) Then me and Gandhi tried a new pub in Kings X (Skinner’s Arms) where we even had decent bants with rugby fans. Imagine. (It was the army v navy at Twickers today.) Oh yes, fell asleep on bus but for reasons I can’t quite fathom, its last stop was Peckham, so I was quids in anyway. Just needed a bus driver to wake me up.
Away: 170 odd, but never more than 150 at any given time. Presumably loads were ‘doing a Kempy’ and having a beer in the concourse.
ps, has Jonesy calmed down yet? He was going mental at the ref's temerity in adding extra time onto a match with one serious injury, a couple of goals, loads of subs and various bits of Col U timewasting. In fact, I think you'll all find it was the ref who showboated the ball out of play, as well as made the cross and buried the late header.
pps, last thing \I said to my dad as I left: 'See you in a fortnight'. We shall see, we shall see...
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| Panorama v Col U. |
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| Pre-match blah blahs. |
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| Nearly there. |
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| Another large crowd, another disappointing result. |
