Tow Law Town 1-1 Ryton and Crawcrook Albion, Saturday 4th April 2026

Tow Law 1-1 Ryton and Crawcrook Albion, Northern League Division 2, Ironworks Road, att. 509

It is the 3rd and last game of Easter Saturday’s Northern League groundhop, and surely the one they’ve all been waiting for: Tow Law. Ironworks Road is one of the glorious Northern League grounds, worthy of a trip anytime. That it will be blowing a gale and be into minus degrees once wind chill is taken into account, is all part of the appeal. Besides, how many other grounds afford a view of the Pennines like this one? However, I’m worried. With Tow Law near the bottom of the Northern League second division, they’re at risk of relinquishing their membership. COME ON YOU LAWYERS!

The ground is spick and span, as ever. The Main Stand, a modern cantilever on the halfway line, is immaculately painted, with ‘LAWYERS’ in giant alternate black lettering on white and vice versa lettering at the front, while ‘TOW LAW TOWN FC’ is proudly emblazoned on the back wall. There is nary a spare seat too, as fans huddle out of the way of the wind. Did I mention it was windy?

I’ve paid my entrance and elect to stand on the terrace opposite the main stand. With the terrific slope, you’re looking down on the main stand, while admiring the Pennines behind it. And with the terrace at above 6 foot of banking, it’s a great view of the action. I maybe last 15 minutes. It is perishingly cold and I figure, what with a 6:30KO, it’s going to get colder still once the last of the sun’s rays disappears. I head to the stand to my right.

At this end, there is flat standing but, crucially, a roof the width of the pitch. Or, more precisely, three roofs, as due to the sloping pitch, a new one has to be built every 20 yards or so. At one side, there is even a couple of steps of terracing and perhaps a couple of dozen seats. No-one sits down.

Despite the conditions, Tow Law manage a goal, Joe Bates lashing in, just in front of us. I’m amazed anyone has managed a goal today, but 4 minutes later, Ryton equalise. It’s at the far end, but speaking to a neutral later (my old History teacher), the scorer was at least 6 yards offside. The out of position linesman chose not to heed the calls.

And that was it for the goals. I edged back around the pitch as half-time loomed, with the intention of warming myself in the social club. Fat chance. Far too small to even get in, though I had an interesting chat with some bloke. ‘Are you one of them groundhoppers?’ he asked, rather forcefully. ‘Errr….I guess so.’ ‘How does it work?’ He just wanted to know the ins and outs. Him and his wife quite fancy going on the groundhoppers’ bus some time. (It only turns out she’s Tow Law’s secretary.)

Second half, I walked round to the far side and stood near the Main Stand. The netting to prevent the ball clearing the ground actually whistled in the wind, as I chatted rubbish to said former teacher, and he told me which of my former guides had now bitten the dust. R.I.P. (the ones I liked).

There were no more goals. It wasn’t the day for it. But Mr Sixsmith did say he expected Tow Law to remain in the Northern League, as 1 or 2 others were winding up at the end of the season (Sunderland West End, for one). Good news. Sort of.

I headed off, happy to have endured, but happier still for the hot shower and comfy bed at Lumley Castle. I was chilled to the bone.

The Damage:
£7 ent
£2 prog
£6 sausage and bacon bap
= £15

Tow Law Town 1-2 Boro Rangers, Tuesday 16th April 2024

Tow Law 1-2 Boro Rangers, Northern League Division 1, Ironworks Road, att. 50

I put my big coat away this week. What a mistake that was. Tonite I am absolutely bloody freezing at Ironworks Road, my favourite of favourite Northern League grounds. I don’t know what the temperature is, but with wind chill, it is bitter. A wind turbine above me on the terrace concurs, its blades spinning at some impenetrable speed, while it sounds like there’s a ‘copter overhead. There’s also a lady watching the game from her car behind me. She’s not daft. I count 32 others in the ground at kick-off.

Mind, there’s other entertainment to be had tonite. I am missing Dortmund 4-2 Athletico (5-4 on aggregate) and Barca 1-4 PSG (4-6 on aggregate) to see a side who’ve lost 31 games in 35 in the Northern League (32 from 36 after this evening). I could even stay in the social club at the ground and watch Southampton play Preston as they strive for promotion to the Prem. But where’s the fun in that?

Ironworks Road is a thing of beauty. 5 steps of terracing reach past the halfway line above a small bank. On the far side is the Main Stand, so beautifully decorated, and behind that, the North Pennines. It is worth the dastardly wind, though the bakers dozen of us positioned on this side 1st half dwindle to half a dozen by the second, as the others find other crevices to crawl into, away from the bluster. A few have gone to the far end, using the backwall and roof as protection. At the end where you gain entry, the picnic tables are unused, though a couple of old timers prop up the perimeter. No-one is on the small terrace behind the goal.

Tow Law, despite the defeats, are2nd off bottom. Their 3 wins ensure a 6 point gap to bottom side Sunderland RCA (1 win in 34) and a bloke I chat to thinks it’s only one to go down this season, as there’s no-one from the north-east getting relegated from the Northern Premier (East). Sounds feasible enough, though you never know with the vagaries of the FA’s geographical unit (do they have one)? A 3-way conversation breaks out once again about howthehell Bishop Stortford, Gloucester and Banbury are in National League North (Needham Market allegedly joining from next season).

Thus, the Lawyers are odds on to be spanked tonite. They’ve already conceded 154 goals. Even RCA’s 9-0 defeat tonite will only take them to 150. Goals are promised. And 13 mins in, Tow Law are already one down and Boro have hit the woodwork 3 times (although one of these was a defender’s slice). The goal they concede is criminal, as a 40 yard throw-in leaves not one, but two Boro in the clear. Forward A runs in and squares it to Forward B for a tap-in. Routine. The avalanche is on.

However, through a mixture of good fortune, poor finishing and a never-say-die spirit, Tow Law cling on and even manage the odd venture upfield. Boro are beaten down their left and the cross is headed home confidently. The hosts nearly go 2-1 up, as a header from a corner is narrowly ruled offside (though I’m not convinced myself). Boro, who’re used to playing on plastic, are struggling to get to grips with a bobbly pitch...though I guess they have wind in Middlesbrough?

I go for a warm in the social club at half-time. Good job it’s Soton-Preston on the telly, cos if they were showing the Champs Lge, I might’ve stayed in. The game is well underway when I creep back out. It takes me 30 seconds to get cold again. This’ll be a long half. Luckily, I’m out in time to see a goal, as more comic defending from Tow Law sees Boro rifle it in from close range. How many chances to clear? 3, 4? All that hard work gone to waste.

However, the team keeps trying. The left winger in particular has the beating of his man, so needless to say the manager takes him off. The player is suitably unimpressed as he passes me. ‘Why’s he taken you off? You’ve been the best player?’ ‘No idea’ came the grumpy reply. There’s still time for the Lawyers committee man to trade a few f-bombs with a Rangers player over allegations of play-acting. ‘I don’t mind you calling me a c***, it’s the bald bit I didn’t like.’ Tempers diffused, we’re back to the blood and thunder. A pretty good show, considering the conditions.

The Damage:
£7 ent
£1 half time draw
= £8

Tow Law 7-1 Durham City, Tuesday 16th November 2021

Tow Law 7-1 Durham City, Northern League Division 2, Ironworks Road, att. 135

Dad nearly died yesterday. Choking on his porridge, the carers called 999 and between them, the paramedics and the staff at University Hospital Durham, he survived…and was sent back home at 4am. (Luckily, the cat woke me up at 3:45 for food.) I’d spent the evening at the hospital with him, only leaving when I was told by a nurse friend that ‘he can go home when transport’s available’ didn’t mean sometime in the next half an hour. ‘It could be hours.’ It was. So it was great that by this evening he was ‘back to normal’ – if normal means bedbound and asleep – and I was able to rescue my shredded nerves with a Northern League match.

Slim pickings this week too – Tow Law. No other league matches this midweek, no chance to expand on my number of grounds visited, just a simple trip out for enjoyment. And Tow Law IS one of my favourites, the Ironworks Road ground hanging off the edge of the North Pennines, proper middle of nowhere territory. A lovely drive too, up the back roads of County Durham, from the depths of the Wear near Willington, then up, up, up…to Tow Law…then down, down, down Ironworks Road to the ground. Love it. Plus the chance to see the Northern League’s worst team – Durham City.

Durham City, crisis club, seemingly on the brink forever, are hanging in there, surviving…just. Evicted from their own ground 6 years, playing at Consett, and now Willington, matches postponed this season through not having enough players, being forced to pay a bond just to be allowed to continue in the Northern League…Football League membership from 1921-28 is a long way away. (I must look this up. How many other Northern League sides are former members of the ‘EFL’? Ashington? North Shields?) Conceding 10 in earlier defeats to Boldon and Sunderland West End, the other week they exceeded even themselves by getting whacked 16-1 at Carlisle City. How bad could they be?

Well, I walked in 5 minutes late and within a minute the Durham keeper was picking the ball out of the net. 4-0 after 19 minutes, 6-0 just after the half hour, Durham pulled one back after 35. ‘Heads up, Tow Law!’ At half-time we had the unusual substitution of the away keeper, but what really kept the score down was the number of subs Tow Law made, as everyone got a trot out. The Durham reserve keeper looked a lot more assured, even if he looked a good 4 inches off 6 foot. Meantime, Tow Law, if not shot shy, were certainly shot-on-target shy, consistently blazing high or wide from long distance. Finally, the levy was breached, as, untrue to form, the keeper spilled a long shot and the rebound was tapped in. We were 74 minutes down, a minute after the away centre half was sent off for a second yellow, clipping the forward when clear. Still, there must have been envious glances, as the constant drizzle became more driven, and one guy was off to the warmth of the changing room. It’s now 16 defeats in a row and counting.

The Damage:
£5 ent
= £5

The Tunes:
The Orb’s Adventures Beyond the Ultraworld (The Orb)