Tow Law Town 1-2 Boro Rangers, Tuesday 16th April 2024

Tow Law 1-2 Boro Rangers, Northern League Division 1, Ironworks Road, att. 50

I put my big coat away this week. What a mistake that was. Tonite I am absolutely bloody freezing at Ironworks Road, my favourite of favourite Northern League grounds. I don’t know what the temperature is, but with wind chill, it is bitter. A wind turbine above me on the terrace concurs, its blades spinning at some impenetrable speed, while it sounds like there’s a ‘copter overhead. There’s also a lady watching the game from her car behind me. She’s not daft. I count 32 others in the ground at kick-off.

Mind, there’s other entertainment to be had tonite. I am missing Dortmund 4-2 Athletico (5-4 on aggregate) and Barca 1-4 PSG (4-6 on aggregate) to see a side who’ve lost 31 games in 35 in the Northern League (32 from 36 after this evening). I could even stay in the social club at the ground and watch Southampton play Preston as they strive for promotion to the Prem. But where’s the fun in that?

Ironworks Road is a thing of beauty. 5 steps of terracing reach past the halfway line above a small bank. On the far side is the Main Stand, so beautifully decorated, and behind that, the North Pennines. It is worth the dastardly wind, though the bakers dozen of us positioned on this side 1st half dwindle to half a dozen by the second, as the others find other crevices to crawl into, away from the bluster. A few have gone to the far end, using the backwall and roof as protection. At the end where you gain entry, the picnic tables are unused, though a couple of old timers prop up the perimeter. No-one is on the small terrace behind the goal.

Tow Law, despite the defeats, are2nd off bottom. Their 3 wins ensure a 6 point gap to bottom side Sunderland RCA (1 win in 34) and a bloke I chat to thinks it’s only one to go down this season, as there’s no-one from the north-east getting relegated from the Northern Premier (East). Sounds feasible enough, though you never know with the vagaries of the FA’s geographical unit (do they have one)? A 3-way conversation breaks out once again about howthehell Bishop Stortford, Gloucester and Banbury are in National League North (Needham Market allegedly joining from next season).

Thus, the Lawyers are odds on to be spanked tonite. They’ve already conceded 154 goals. Even RCA’s 9-0 defeat tonite will only take them to 150. Goals are promised. And 13 mins in, Tow Law are already one down and Boro have hit the woodwork 3 times (although one of these was a defender’s slice). The goal they concede is criminal, as a 40 yard throw-in leaves not one, but two Boro in the clear. Forward A runs in and squares it to Forward B for a tap-in. Routine. The avalanche is on.

However, through a mixture of good fortune, poor finishing and a never-say-die spirit, Tow Law cling on and even manage the odd venture upfield. Boro are beaten down their left and the cross is headed home confidently. The hosts nearly go 2-1 up, as a header from a corner is narrowly ruled offside (though I’m not convinced myself). Boro, who’re used to playing on plastic, are struggling to get to grips with a bobbly pitch...though I guess they have wind in Middlesbrough?

I go for a warm in the social club at half-time. Good job it’s Soton-Preston on the telly, cos if they were showing the Champs Lge, I might’ve stayed in. The game is well underway when I creep back out. It takes me 30 seconds to get cold again. This’ll be a long half. Luckily, I’m out in time to see a goal, as more comic defending from Tow Law sees Boro rifle it in from close range. How many chances to clear? 3, 4? All that hard work gone to waste.

However, the team keeps trying. The left winger in particular has the beating of his man, so needless to say the manager takes him off. The player is suitably unimpressed as he passes me. ‘Why’s he taken you off? You’ve been the best player?’ ‘No idea’ came the grumpy reply. There’s still time for the Lawyers committee man to trade a few f-bombs with a Rangers player over allegations of play-acting. ‘I don’t mind you calling me a c***, it’s the bald bit I didn’t like.’ Tempers diffused, we’re back to the blood and thunder. A pretty good show, considering the conditions.

The Damage:
£7 ent
£1 half time draw
= £8

Tow Law 7-1 Durham City, Tuesday 16th November 2021

Tow Law 7-1 Durham City, Northern League Division 2, Ironworks Road, att. 135

Dad nearly died yesterday. Choking on his porridge, the carers called 999 and between them, the paramedics and the staff at University Hospital Durham, he survived…and was sent back home at 4am. (Luckily, the cat woke me up at 3:45 for food.) I’d spent the evening at the hospital with him, only leaving when I was told by a nurse friend that ‘he can go home when transport’s available’ didn’t mean sometime in the next half an hour. ‘It could be hours.’ It was. So it was great that by this evening he was ‘back to normal’ – if normal means bedbound and asleep – and I was able to rescue my shredded nerves with a Northern League match.

Slim pickings this week too – Tow Law. No other league matches this midweek, no chance to expand on my number of grounds visited, just a simple trip out for enjoyment. And Tow Law IS one of my favourites, the Ironworks Road ground hanging off the edge of the North Pennines, proper middle of nowhere territory. A lovely drive too, up the back roads of County Durham, from the depths of the Wear near Willington, then up, up, up…to Tow Law…then down, down, down Ironworks Road to the ground. Love it. Plus the chance to see the Northern League’s worst team – Durham City.

Durham City, crisis club, seemingly on the brink forever, are hanging in there, surviving…just. Evicted from their own ground 6 years, playing at Consett, and now Willington, matches postponed this season through not having enough players, being forced to pay a bond just to be allowed to continue in the Northern League…Football League membership from 1921-28 is a long way away. (I must look this up. How many other Northern League sides are former members of the ‘EFL’? Ashington? North Shields?) Conceding 10 in earlier defeats to Boldon and Sunderland West End, the other week they exceeded even themselves by getting whacked 16-1 at Carlisle City. How bad could they be?

Well, I walked in 5 minutes late and within a minute the Durham keeper was picking the ball out of the net. 4-0 after 19 minutes, 6-0 just after the half hour, Durham pulled one back after 35. ‘Heads up, Tow Law!’ At half-time we had the unusual substitution of the away keeper, but what really kept the score down was the number of subs Tow Law made, as everyone got a trot out. The Durham reserve keeper looked a lot more assured, even if he looked a good 4 inches off 6 foot. Meantime, Tow Law, if not shot shy, were certainly shot-on-target shy, consistently blazing high or wide from long distance. Finally, the levy was breached, as, untrue to form, the keeper spilled a long shot and the rebound was tapped in. We were 74 minutes down, a minute after the away centre half was sent off for a second yellow, clipping the forward when clear. Still, there must have been envious glances, as the constant drizzle became more driven, and one guy was off to the warmth of the changing room. It’s now 16 defeats in a row and counting.

The Damage:
£5 ent
= £5

The Tunes:
The Orb’s Adventures Beyond the Ultraworld (The Orb)

Tow Law 1-0 Esh Winning, Friday 29th October 2021

Tow Law 1-0 Esh Winning, Northern League Division 2, Ironworks Road, att. 152

Friday Night Lights. The glitz. The glamour. The hopes of a local community. No, this wasn’t US college football, but a Northern League second division derby between the former ironworks community of Tow Law and the former pit village of Esh Winning. The battle of former industries, if you like, all played out at Ironworks Road, the first ground in the country…or was it the Northern League?...to have hot baths. (I presume Roman amphitheatres didn’t have them, as their bath houses were separate.)

Yes, Friday Night football. An attempt to increase the crowd and inject a bit of pizzazz to Tow Law of an evening. Well, it worked to some extent, as the crowd was virtually double the Lawyers’ norm. And there were certainly away fans in existence, as I had a mini-row with one. As the Esh centre forward appealed for a record breaking 3rd handball in 5 minutes, I could bear it no longer. ‘Not everything is handball!’ ‘It’s not like you lot don’t appeal for owt!’ he retorted. ‘You lot’? I now officially have a Northern League team, as I stand, accused, of being a Tow Law fan. Come on you Lawyers! (I still have to get my head around supporting a side sporting black and white stripes.)

Actually, I was pleased Tow Law triumphed. The game had been dull dull dull, devoid of any chances whatsoever, and that spate of handball appeals ground on me. (It wasn’t just the centre forward either, other Esh players were in on the act.) So when the Lawyers forward ran clear we all held our breath…would the finish be in keeping with the rest of the game? No. The ball rolled past the keeper, victory secured. An edge had been taken off the undoubted chill.

The Damage:
£5 ent
£1 tea
60p Kitkat
= £6.60

The Tunes:
Kitchen Sink (Nadine Shah)

Tow Law Town 0-2 Sunderland West End, Tuesday 8th September 2020

Tow Law 0-2 Sunderland West End, Northern League Division 2, Ironworks Road, att. 125

Welcome to ......

Only two games into my Northern League Odyssey and I have found the team for me: Tow Law.  High up in the North Pennines, down a track and there’s the Ironworks Road ground, perched on the hill.  This is what I’m looking for, a piecemeal but well kept ground that shows its age yet exudes pride, from the small chunk of terracing behind one goal to the modern seated stand on the halfway line, bedecked in the club colours of black and white and announcing who they are: the Lawyers.  You fought with the Law(yers) and….well, in Ryhope’s case tonite, won.

What a grand Grand Stand.

Tow Law as a place was bigger than I imagined, though it’s still not much more than a village.  I’d previously imagined a ground and a pub, such was the legend of how wild it was (wild, as in it was famously open to the elements.)   I drove from the direction of Durham City, across a ridge with panoramic views of the surrounding countryside and parked up.  I remember seeing a pub nearby, the Newmarket Tavern or somesuch.  Definitely ‘Newmarket’ something or other, as my partner’s from Newmarket.  Anyway, I parked up…and realised I had no money on me.  I took a walk towards a Co-op I passed, on the offchance it had a cash machine.  It did.  I gave myself a pat on the back for my intuition.

The covered end.

The ground was another 5 minutes away.  Again, I’d imagined I’d see the ground and its floodlights from way away.  Instead, it’s tucked behind terraces on the side of a hill.  Cutting it fine for kick-off, I walked into the social club, thinking entry would be via that.  I signed in, as per Covid-19 precautions, asked where the entrance was and was re-directed to the turnstile next door.  My contact details taken again, I was in.

The roof may give away the slope...

Upon entry, the nearest standing area is an oddly shaped little terrace behind the nets, but I walked past the social club for a perch on the terrace which stretched the length of one side.  This was a perfect view, helped in no part by the pitch rising up about 3 feet on this side, so you;fre already way above the players even if you stand at the front.  However, I obviously upset one local keen to social distance, as he moved as soon as I stood nearby.  I was near the halfway line, where the away side had brought a vociferous few.  This brought the first half highlight as a to-do on the pitch led to The Mouthy One calling the Tow Law left back a ‘fat b******’ and being offered out.  (‘Offered out’ being north-eastern for ‘How would you like to have a bout of fisticuffs?’  Or does everywhere use this term?  I’ve never heard it in London where I live….though I tend not to frequent circles where pugilism is popular.)  Anyway, something else was said before the left back retorted ‘and that’s why I’m here and you’re up there’ before the game re-started and a Tow Law committee man came along to smooth things over.  The art of diplomacy is not dead in the Northern League.

Are they the away seats???

Mild as the evening was, in this, the late summer, I mused how Tow Law were in division 2.  Surely, with being used to the huge slope of the pitch (from side to side) and the openness of the hilly surrounds, this place must be awful for visiting teams.  However, despite a few promising moves from a mature centre forward, no-one else looked like joining in the attack.  Half time arrived goalless and I went for a wander.

1st half view from the long side.

At the far end is a small terrace with roof, perfect for escaping the usual weather.  It’s also a great place to assess the slope, as the level terracing needed steps every so often to keep (sort of) in line with the pitch.  And having miskicked a ball from the subs, I engaged in contact with another spectator.  Turned out, like me, he was a north-east exile recently returned and watching a bit of Northern League would help the acclimatisation.  He was also at the cracking Darlington Railway Athletic – Esh Winning friendly the week before. 

Beyond perfect.

Leaning against the fence behind the goal, we seemed as far away from what little action there was.  And as we discussed our own teams (Middlesbrough/Barnsley) conversation turned to this being our first goalless draw of the season.  So it came as some relief that a fine 20 yard finish into the bottom corner opened the account…for West End.  This was followed by a similar finish for a hard fought 2-0 win for West End, a side I’d never heard of till tonite.  I’ve been away a long time.

Ironworks Road panorama.

Afterwards, I had a cheeky Coke in the social club.  Got chatting to a local.  Wife had left him and it’d cost him 92 grand…but he wasn’t bitter.  Not much.  He pointed amazedly at a couple of middle aged balding blokes.  ‘They’ve come from Manchester.  Staying in Durham.  They’re groundhoppers or something.’  Imagine.

The Damage:
£5 ent
£1 Coca-Cola
= £6

The Tunes:
La Radiolina (Manu Chau)
Encore (The Specials)

The long side terrace.

The odd little terrace at the social club end.

Looking towards the social club.

You're higher up than it looks, believe me.

Welcome to ....(II)

The covered end.

Welcome to ...(III)

Thou shalt not pass...fencing at the covered end/main stand corner.

Inside the social.

The open terrace behind the goal.

Welcome to the North Pennines.