BFC 0-2 Peterborough United, Sunday 7th May 2023

‘See you in the final.’

Another weird game. With play-offs secured and Mads rested/not risked, our main job appeared to be to avoid injury and be ready and fit for the challenge ahead. And I can’t blame the players – at half-time, with us one down, I was perfectly happy to let Posh win if it knocked Derby County out of the play-offs. (Posh needed to win and Derby lose at Washday.) Perhaps other fans felt the same, as shedloads stayed in the concourse at half-time to have another beer. I always thought they stopped serving once the game was underway, but I found otherwise.

So many of our players were below par. Kane gave the ball away 4 times in the first half hour, simple passes too. Jordan Williams appeared the player most likely to set up a goal – for the opposition. Phillips was so anonymous, he didn’t even blaze his usual shot into the crowd. Kitching found himself in their half, chased back…and still missed the cross for their opener (Johnson Clarke-Harris). And why did Bobby Thomas run to the line instead of being in the mix for the cross? He’s had a poor month or so, capped off with losing his man for the 2nd, a near post flick on. Is this one of our favourite goals to concede? Anyway, a fine time to lose form. At least Cole has an excuse….he’s never a footballer, nevermind a centre forward. I forget which former player said on the radio the other day ‘you’re only as good as your forward line’. In which case, we can say goodbye to promotion (but maybe a day at Wembley will pay for Cole’s replacement).

What did we have in attack? A couple of headers flicked wide from corners (Kitching and Thomas), a stabbed effort in a scramble (Kitching) and a Tedic header which was a goal all the way till the keeper got across to save. Duff says Tedic cost Man City 3 mill. He’s not worth that, but he looks the best we have. Actual movement before the ball comes in, not a reactive chase after a ball that’s gone.

We were so out of kilter in the final third that Cadden was given MOTM for…what? Putting in 4 low balls to that near post to NO-ONE? I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt – he played for that, the team have practiced that (!) and someone (anyone) should have been there. The 4th, Cadden actively avoided an easy cutback to put it in near the apex of the 6 yard box, where absolutely nobody was running towards. Well, nobody in a red shirt.

Yet some of the build up play was quite good (hence how Cadden, a wingback with no speed, had 4 opportunities to put the ball in). It was just that that penultimate ball always went wrong, meaning we’d almost get to their box, but not quite. Let’s put it down to not needing a win. Or let’s see if the rot has set in (Ipswich, MK Dons, Posh).

Onwards and upwards!

*** Cotter. Right wing back (Jordan switching to centre half) he dazzled at times, and found himself out of position at times. But he was certainly our most exciting player going forward. Just don’t take on that 4th Posh player!
** Isted. Made a few good saves and couldn’t do much with the goals.
* Cadden. 4 crosses to exactly the right place. Lineker woulda bagged a hattrick today.

Official MOTM: Cadden

Londontykes’ MOTM: 1. Cotter 2. Cadden 3. Isted

Despatches:
Another excuse for the defeat: we lacked star centre half and supporters’ player of the year, Mads Andersen (another poll I voted for the loser). Hopefully he’s back for the play-offs. And Derby never did make it. Those Reds fans who bleat on and on and on about every refereeing decision which goes against the Super Reds ought to have a look at this one, Curtis Davies sent off and penalty awarded for a foul that was never in a hundred years. Hilarious. (This will come back to haunt me when we get done by Washday in the final under similar circs.)

Drink du jour: Blue Moon in the Old Number 7. It dawns on me that a post-match drink does little to curb my efforts to avoid drink driving. At least with 3pm kick-offs, it gives a couple of hours for the effect to dissipate.

Away: 1,932. Whilst it’s always nice to see the away end celebrating (!) it struck me that in 40 odd years of supporting the Super Reds, I’m sure I’ve seen the visitors to Oakwell celebrate far more on the final day of the season than us. Or is my mind playing tricks on me? Anyway, I met several Posh after the match and they were very magnanimous. One even admitted we should’ve had a penalty (and not the keeper’s challenge on Norwood).

Today’s take home: People say you need momentum going into the play-offs. Well, we have that! (Losing momentum.)

The Damage:
c. £30 petrol
= £30

BFC 0-3 Ipswich Town, Tuesday 25th April 2023

‘Spackmoid!!??’

Well, that was an interesting experiment on what we’d look like against a decent team without Connell playing. Say we get promotion, and sell him, is that what a home game looks like next season? I dunno. Pre-match, I stuck up for Russell as the pub gave out a collective groan upon hearing the line-up. Where’s Luca? (Illness?) For me, Russell looks a class act. And as Tuesday showed, shame he can’t run. Was it Darrell likened him to Tom Huddlestone (and not in a complimentary way)? Former England international, I added. Of course he was….played a few games for Spurs, didn’t he?

Russell’s sole contribution…and I enjoyed it, actually….was ‘racing’ back to cover after Cadden got the ball stuck under his feet and lost it. Their bloke jogged 40 yards with the ball before Russell finally almost caught up and scythed him down in our half for a booking. Honestly, it had to be done. Otherwise, I’d be likening him to Jacob BF Mellis, in that he’s obviously got skill, but doesn’t move. I think most of this is down to manager’s orders. However, there is no doubt he lacks the bite of Connell, and is incapable of bringing the ball forward. I’d say he’s a bigger version of Mitch Ward, master of the 6 yard square pass.

This is not to do down Ipswich. They are far and away the best side I’ve seen us play this season. Even when it was goalless, they looked the more likely. Such a shame then that on the cusp of half-time (and a talking to from Duff) we find time to concede not one, but two, poor goals. A corner is flicked home at the near post. How can their player POSSIBLY be unmarked? Oh, he’s Russell’s man. The look of bewilderment on the latter’s face is not a joy to behold. ‘What’s this? My man is allowed to MOVE? No-one told me that.’ On a serious note, losing a player late on affects your defensive set-up on deadballs. But it’s still criminal defending.

Then, a minute later, Mads gets into a tussle with George Hirst, son of former Red, David. The ghost of Bolton home must loomed large as Mads, no doubt scared he’ll get another sending off, allows Hirst to run on before rifling it in from 20 yards. Dad would be proud of that power. 2-0 down, the second half is a formality. The ref finds them a penalty (saved; the one bit of cheer we got) but as Ipswich start showboating, a chip over our defence has us in all kinds of trouble. Isted saves the initial toepoke before former Red Conor Chaplin completes the rout, controlling and lobbing the ball over our stranded keeper. ‘Norwich City, we’re coming for you’ rings out as Oakwell empties with ten minutes to go.

Onwards and upwards!

*** Bobby Thomas. All of these are based purely on the first half. Thomas returned to form with good defending and confident distribution.
** Kitching. The one player to run with the ball. Our left sided centre half.
* Phillips. As well as actually trying to score (he had half our first half shots) he tracked back well.

Official MOTM: Isted.

Londontykes’ MOTM: 1= Kane / Kitching 3. Bobby Thomas

Despatches:
In a must-win game, our attempts at goal were as follows (and if I’ve missed any, I was having a p***):
1. Phillips breaks from midfield and we’ve numbers in attack. With more space in front of him, he elects to drag one wide from 30 yards. This is the typical panicked shot of a team who think they’re up against a superior side. Shoot early and hope for the best.
2. Phillips again. 20 yard shot from edge of box, deflected softly into keeper’s hands.
3. A Norwood 20 yard left foot bobbler eventually reaches the keeper. Tomorrow.
4. 2nd half, Cole turns and shoots inside the box…high and wide. Rubbish.
5. Watters turns and hits one while wide left in the box. Excellent strike, but easily saved as the angle was against him.

And that was it. In a game we had to win. True, there were promising first half performances (I’d add Jordan Williams and Kane) but it’s summed up when the keeper gets MOTM for a penalty save. Did he stop any others? None that weren’t routine. Meantime, they hit 3 and had had another effort smash the bar, 1st half.

To end, we need to not let this bother us (Ipswich are, after all, going up automatic). Presumably Connell is back next game, we end well, and prepare for the play-offs, where we absolutely have to improve away from Oakwell, or we’re out. And with Bolton surprisingly losing at home to Accrington tonite, our opponents could still be any of Wanderers, (Not Wayne Rooney’s) Derby County, or Posh. I vote losing at home to Posh on the last day so we can do them in the play-offs!

Drink du jour: Jaipur in Heaven and Ale with Wolfie. He’s a beauty!

Away: 4,855. Fantastic, midweek and all. Mind, they were louder pre-match than actually during it.

Today’s take home: Without Connell in midfield, we are nothing.

The Damage:
c. £30 petrol
= £30

BFC 2-0 Oxford United, Saturday 22nd April 2023

‘It’s like a cricket match in here today.’

It was like an end of season game with nought to play for. Like what we used to have from February onwards in the days before the play-offs. This match will live short in the memory, a perfunctory two goal win against a side on the edge of the relegation zone. The truth is, we never really got going and were still far too much for Oxford, though I’m sure I heard their manager reckon they were the better side. Deluded.

Indeed, our manager had a bit of a go at our ‘fans’ afterwards, castigating some for having too much expectation. Wins are never easy, etc. The atmosphere was zero and I think the bench could hear the chuntering behind the dugout. Let’s hope the fans’ resignation at only making the play-offs is not contagious to the players. But fans are nothing if not greedy.

To highlight how forgettable this game was, I’ll share my most memorable moment. A clearance arched high towards the halfway line and sub Russell brought it down with a daintiness I’ve never even seen at Saddlers Wells (probably because I’ve never seen ballet at Saddler’s Wells, or, indeed, anywhere). It was an exquisite bit of skill in a nothing match.

Oh yes, we won two goals to zero, both notched by Tedic. What a difference it makes, making the run BEFORE the ball comes in, BEFORE everyone knows where it’s going. The opener, he allowed the ball to cut across his body to deflect in with his left, and the 2nd was a header. Coupled (Trebled?) with an earlier header superbly saved, he coulda been sitting on a hatrick. I’ve doubts about his all-round game, but with coaching, maybe there’s a footballer there yet.

Onwards and upwards!

*** Super Ted(ic). If the season started again, he’d be hitting 25+.
** Isted. Two super saves, one from a free kick at 0-0 and one late on.
* Phillips. We’re all about the twos this week. 2 sublime crosses from Phillips for the goals. Always liked him!

Official MOTM: Tedic

Londontykes’ MOTM: 1. Tedic 2. Phillips 3. Isted

Despatches:
Norwood looked hungry when he came on. Then again, I guess he always looks hungry, ho ho. And I’ve no doubt he would’ve added to our goals tally were he not partnered late on with that utter moron Watters. Twice we break 2 on 1 and twice Watters messes it up. Is there anything he can’t not do?

Drink du jour: A pale ale in Spiral City.

Away: 663

Today’s take home: Meh.

The Damage:
c. £30 petrol
= £30

Lincoln City 0-0 BFC, Tuesday 18th April 2023

‘It wor a brek fer Ramadan.’

Is it the end of a dream? Well, maybe – if the dream is to finish in the top 2. Personally, I’d rather celebrate promotion at Wembley than sat on a couch at home like last time (some other team losing to give us promotion). But after drawing at Lincoln and the top 3 winning, automatic looks spent. That’ll teach us for getting our hopes up last nite, as at one point Plymouth and Ipsh*t were losing. Still, could be worse. Them losing would’ve opened the door for Washday, winning at Bristol Rovers. Let’s not fret about who we’ll face in the play-offs. There’s nothing to fear there – if we perform. If we don’t, well, we have ourselves to blame.

At the LNER Stadium (nee Sincil Bank) we drew a blank, but it wasn’t for the want of trying, particularly 2nd half. I know the stats say we only had ONE shot on target, a bobbler from Luke Thomas late on, but that didn’t tell the entire story. Their goal led a charmed life as Adam Phillips tried to walk it in. Did he dummy it twice, or 3 times, before his shot was blocked, 10 yards out? Then Bobby Thomas, unmarked on the back post, flicked it wide with the goal gaping. Why’s he flicking his head like that? JUST HEAD IT STRAIGHT AT THE GOAL. I think he wanted to find the corner, when all he needed to do was get it on target. (It was the first of many mistakes from Bobby last nite; he couldn’t put a foot right as passes went astray time and again.)

Thing was, it wasn’t even Lincoln’s first choice keeper. He’d been sent off at the weekend. So we spent 90 minutes not even trying to test this young lad from any range whatsoever, though I suspect a fair amount of that was stalwart defending from the Imps backline and midfield, who got back in numbers. Also, while our build up play wasn’t as ponderous as Burton away, there were still far too many hoofs/dinks to their centre halves. And if it cleared the centre half, it just ran through to the keeper. Listen, lads, there isn’t a player in the Premiership who can make the pass we’re trying to do. Who out there can chip a ball over a centre half, into a small amount of space between him and keeper, and make it spin backwards for the centre forward to run onto? So why are WE trying to do it?

Cole and Norwood looked lost, forever making runs out wide while midfielders (and defenders) misplaced the final ball. Though later, with Jordan Williams on the left beating his man all ends up, he pulled it back across the box for…..nobody. It was a perfect cutback, which neither Tedic, nor Watters, nor Phillips, nor anybody of a Reds attacking persuasion, read. Don’t these players PRACTICE? Whenever Man City pull a ball back, as defenders run to the line in panic, there’s someone popping up to knock it in. (Even Raheem Sterling could perform this most perfunctory of tasks while at the Etihad…and don’t tell me he’s anything less than rubbish).

Yes, it wasn’t our night, but fair dues Lincoln. They put a shift in, made life difficult, and forced the save of the match from Isted, 1st half, as he tipped it onto the bar. It’s not all doom and gloom. Next season, I’ll make a weekend of it. Sarah’s never been to Lincoln.

Onwards and upwards!

*** Mads. It’s that part of the season where I wonder who our star centre half will be playing for next season.
** Isted. Had one thing to do and did it perfectly.
* Norwood. Put himself about, yet often found himself one v two.

Londontykes’ MOTM: 1. Andersen 2. Isted 3. Connell

Despatches:
The journey down was…interesting. I rather fancied getting there early, savour Lincoln, but twas not to be. A late start, caused by a paint job taking a lot longer than I envisaged, then problems on the A1. Roadworks south of the M62 meant losing a lane. And with us sensible types tucking in with 800 yards to go, it gave the tw*ts chance to push in. 4 went past before I pulled out to stop them, in time for a white black van man to go ape behind me, smashing his steering wheel and shouting abuse, as I prevented him cruising that 800 yards further up the motorway. Is that you? Are you that type? At one point, he tried to skirt around me onto rough ground by the central reservation, till I cut him off. Listen mate, I’ve got places to go too. Letting dozens of other cars cruise to the front would have meant it taking longer for those of us who were there first. And I didn’t realise it, but it would have meant me missing more of the match than I did…

The road cleared and I got off at Blyth (South Yorks edition) for a ‘comfort break’ and a Greggs. I put the ground into Google. Christ, 58 minutes…and it’s an hour before kick-off. But it’s taking me past Lincoln and in again. F*** that. I jumped in the car and went A57. ‘Toll bridge ahead’. What!? Yes, I had to cross a bl**dy toll bridge. On an ‘A’ road. Are we in the 18th century? (Insert own ‘Lincolnshire’ joke here.) Forty pence it cost me. Even odder, I then went through the hamlet of Odder, before being held up on a railway crossing on the edge of Lincoln. Is it the 19th century here? All these things would’ve been far more quaint were I not in a rush. Luckily, I parked up in a dead end side street about 10 mins from the ground, with Nozzer hassling me about when I’m gonna turn up (cos he had my ticket). Sorry, Nozzer. We got in just as the match kicked off.

And what’s this? Late in the first half, the ref has called a break to let me have a p***? Very kind of him, though someone in the bogs reckoned it was for Ramadan. Really? I thought we’d got rid of this religious nonsense when we started allowing games to be played on a Sunday. (Weirdly, while we couldn’t play games on Sunday, we played on Christmas Day. Go figure.) I’m sorry, but why are we pandering to people who CHOOSE to fast. (As an aside, there’s already a few loopholes allowing muslims to break their sacrifice anyway.) Honestly, at the risk of being accused of being a Daily Mail reader, I find it outrageous. (It didn’t help. Larkeche was subbed anyway.)

The players? Kitching disappeared after a promising first half. Jordan Williams encompassed everything (in)consistent about rhe performance, one second being brilliant, another giving the ball away needlessly. Ditto Kane and Connell. Was it Kane got booked for halting a Lincoln break? Too early in the game for dishing yellows Nozzer says. So we agree that you can do whatever the hell you want in the first 20 minutes and go unpunished. That’d liven things up here in the lower divisions. I never really noticed Cole. Occasionally, I’d see him run, but the ball never got there. Still, running is one thing NO-ONE has seen Watters do. Or jump. Again, he was lucky to escape a red as an elbow sorted the Lincoln scamp who dared to challenge him. (Sadly, when the ref eventually blew, we were up in numbers with the ball out wide.) Tedic was anonymous. Ooh, and fellow sub Luke Thomas. He probably looked the most likely to break the deadlock…till he allowed himself a shot and proved otherwise.

Anyway, it was a handy midweek fixture for me, being that I had to head on to London to organise a carpet fitting at my property in Peckham. So Weds was spent in Sarf Landan, thinking about things I miss….the panoply of ethnic restaurants, great drinking holes, the buzz of busy streets, Khan’s Bargain Store (where else can you buy a window squidgy and spices?) and warm, sunny weather. But in the interest of BBC balance, I’ll happily not miss dirty streets covered in debris, religionists (Christians) on their microphones telling me to let Jesus into my life, beggars (deserving or otherwise) and the mentally deranged, screaming at anybody and everybody in Greggs. Yes, Peckham certainly has more life to it than Ferryhill!

Drink du jour: Likely. That jam on the A1 put paid to that.

Away: 1700 and some. Packed. A crackling atmosphere, as we entered, and couldn’t get to our seats for fans standing. I loved being stood right behind the goal on a rammed staircase. All we needed was a goal and it would’ve gone off in there.

Today’s take home: Can we now officially start planning for the play-offs?

The Damage:
£24 ent
c. £20 petrol
= £44

The Tunes*:
Grey Area (Little Simz)
The Best of NWA (NWA)
Their Law: The Singles 1990-2005 (Prodigy)
Live and Dangerous (Thin Lizzy)

*They’re back, after an enforced absence. Listening to NWA and The Prodigy whilst sat in traffic ensured I was more pumped for the match than the players. Thankfully, they calmed me down.