BFC 3-3 Wimbledon, Saturday 14th February 2026

’14 minutes without a goal. I’m getting bored now.’

I read yesterday that one of Coach Conor’s comments after the match on Satdy was that we ST holders are getting value for our money, what with all the goals going in. ‘ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED!!??’ Well, actually, not really. At least not for the last 80 or so minutes, as we chuck away a 2-0 lead in our own inevitable, excruciating, way. Does he have a point though? We are 4th top scorers (with 3 or 4 games in hand on the others – nearly typed ‘otters’ there...tho I bet they’d bag the odd one as well). And only one team has conceded more – Doncaster Rovers, no less (and we’ve 2 games in hand to overtake (undertake?) them.

Yes, it’s thrill a minute. Ride the back 4 rollercoaster! Which one though? Is it ‘Nemesis’ you fancy (any opposing forward)? Or ‘Oblivion’ (where we’re headed)? Or ‘The Big One’ (which defensive error tops the rest)? It’s getting ridiculous now. We’re beyond experimentation, though here’s a thought, Conor: play MdG centre half instead of ANY of the clowns you keep picking. At least he can control a ball, read a game, look up, bring it into space. Admittedly, he’s not perfect either (not dominating enough, but neither are the 2 centre backs he loves picking). You cannot, you simply CANNOT keep picking Shepherd. Or Roberts. Or Shepherd and Roberts. Individually, they are the worst centre halves in the division, collectively they are the worst partnership I have ever seen for the Super Reds. (Admittedly, this is only 46 years, but I have it on good terms that even in division 4 our centre halves weren’t this bad. We had Eric Winstanley and Pat Howard FFS.)

It’s just not funny anymore. And anyone who says ‘well, it’s not Conor’s fault, it’s what he’s been lumbered with’...he’s still picking Shepherd over others, and one (alleged) centre half he brought in – Jake Rooney – was so bad he couldn’t get a game and is now on loan at National League North Boston United (conceding 3 at Scunthorpe on Satdy, though he did score 2 himself). Last time we scored and conceded at will was under Bassett. Long ball, defences stretched, 4 on 4 everytime either side got the ball, Chettle centre half. Seems like halcyon days now, a mere 67 conceded in the league (80 odd scored – we had Hignett). I know he’s now brought another bloke in, O’Connell (not to be mixed up with Brendan, or that crap midfielder Conor persists with). He looks the best centre half we’ve got, so he’s on the bench today. Brilliant.

Back to the plot. We’re 2-0 up against a middling 3rd division side. A harmless looking cross comes in. Roberts GAWPS at it while some pesky forward STANDS MOTIONLESS and still gets in front of Roberts, backpeddling like the clumsy oaf he is. WHY DOES HE GET PICKED? Apart from a month last season he has continually been embarrassed and embarrassing. He should be put out to grass with Shanks’ pony. (And nobody can say I haven’t been consistent in my opinion about him. He is absolute rubbish. Part of the problem – apart from HIM – is that teams don’t simply hoof balls up to the centre forward anymore, so he’s redundant apart from when he’s needed.) Mind, it’s not his fault Coach Conor has him trying to control balls and passing it out. That’s on the coach, not his donkey.

The equalizer is a good old fashioned team effort. Tennai Watson (right back at left back...who’s to blame for THAT!?) backs off and backs off, allowing their attacker to skew a shot across face of goal for the centre forward to head in from 6 yards IN THE MIDDLE OF THE GOAL. Say what you like about how the ball went there, it’s INBETWEEN Shepherd and Roberts, the worst centre back pairing of all-time. The WOAT. The absolute WOAT. We’re not even half an hour in and we’ve relinquished a two goal lead. That’s pretty exceptional, even for us. (We’d gone two up with tap-ins for 38 year old McG and and the young stripling of 33, Bradshaw, making his latest home debut.) Two bits of magic from Cleary before he went AWOL*.

*I realised the other day that whether you have permission or not to go somewhere, they’re both ‘AWOL’ (with/without). Fancy!

Coach Conor rings the changes at half time on the hour, game going nowhere. What it needs is the GOAT bringing on, for Bradshaw. How comes the GOAT can’t get a game? (I can tell you. Cos he doesn’t do anything.) Oh, he gets booked. And he did again, for the 9th time in the league this season. Does he get games out for 10? Hope so! An unnamed Londontyke claims Bland’s yellow is unlucky. What? Unlucky the ref knows the rules? He ran in front of the ball as their guy was taking a free kick. (Bland is now the 4th most ill-disciplined player in the 3rd division – Connell and Shepherd are also in the Top 10) and it doesn’t even take in to account his red card in a cup game.

Phillips is also on, for Cleary. How can Phillips not get a game for a side this average? I’ll be generous and put it down to Coach Conor going all out attack, 2 centre forwards and 2 wingers. (It’ll never catch on.) The changes have an effect too. Wimbledon go 3-2 up, another bit of comical defending from Shepherd. I’ve seen this before this season too (Mansfield home?) The ball is clipped forward and their player knocks it past Shepherd, who is still moving forward as the ball is past him. He is simply unable to turn. At least this time said attacker doesn’t score, instead squaring it for the open goal (as Yoganathan didn’t do the other week when drilling it wide.)

We’re now staring down the barrel at defeat. Fans are heading for the exits. One final gamble. Take Roberts off, put O’Connell on. At least he can carry a ball 20 or 30 yards forward without tripping over. And it works. I think by now we’ve gone to a flat back 2 (O’Connell, Shepherd) and everyone else is up the pitch. O’Keeffe drives in, lays it to McG (I’m still not having any of that ’Didzy’, he’s not my mate) who shoots. The keeper saves, but here he comes...here he comes...loanee Banks follows up to score. That’s one decent signing Conor / the board has made. But do we get him for keeps? (Not if his agent is worth his salt.)
Happy Valentine’s Day! Love you!

Onwards and upwards!

*** McGoldrick. A 38 year old showing others how to run around.
** Banks. Made some great moves, got crosses in, and scored.
* O’Keeffe. As long as he’s not being asked to defend (and he obviously isn’t) he’s not bad. Lots of energy, wants to drive forward.

Official MOTM: McGoldrick

Londontykes’ MOTM: 1. McGoldrick 2. Banks 3. O’Keeffe

Despatches:
I thought POTY Kelly had a quiet game, though he made one lung busting run late on, 40 yards, and STILL had the wherewithawal to lay it off to McG. (Note: I think he was held back by Coach Conor. Someone had to stand next to Connell on the halfway line, with the GOAT benched.)

Keeper Goodman didn’t make any mistakes, while simultaneously not getting anywhere near their goals. I didn’t notice Watson beyond their opener, but (here we go again) right back IS not the same as left back. Who are these managers who think otherwise?

Shepherd this week admitted to being ‘embarrassed’ at being part of a Reds defence conceding so many goals. It didn’t help though, did it? Listen, Jack, no need to be embarrassed. The embarrassment is on the coach. It’s not your fault he picks you. You’re simply not up to the level and no amount of coaching can change that. Fair enough. It baffles the hell out of me that Coach Conor thinks you’re a better addition to the defence than MdG, but I have to think he believes it. His job depends on it. And who’s to argue? I am. We’re about to have the highest number of goals against in the division, and he’s picked you 27 games in 28. It is axiomatic that we will concede goals while Shepherd is one of the centre halves. (And, yes, I’ve learnt a new word this week, while watching the Winter Olympics of all things. I think it was one of that mad pair who commentate on the snowboarding. They’re great.) We’ve conceded 96 goals in Coach Conor’s 48 matches. (Credit to the pair of Twitter accounts I read these 2 facts.) They look and sound right, but I’ve got better things to do than double check. Like breathe. Roberts? We didn’t even get one of his long throws to the opposition.

Connell’s main contribution appeared to be in rivalling O’Keeffe for who could take a worse deadball. You’d think Coach Conor, who COULD deliver a ball, must be tearing his hair out, but no, he keeps going with these 2. If it’s on the right, let Connell take it, and vice versa. There MUST be someone on the pitch who can kick a football from still? Must be. Still, nice catching practice for whoever’s in goal.

Cleary and Bradshaw both disappeared after 10 minutes (though I’m not sure Bradshaw ever appeared). Still, at least the latter knows where the goal is. I know it was only a tap-in, but with a supply, he’ll score. As for Cleary, sets up two but otherwise looked like he needed a break. Give him a week off (at least) and play that ex-Darlo and Boro winger we’ve just signed.

The atmosphere? 2 nil up and all I could hear was the dull thud of a drum. We used to have nobody chanting. Now we have no-one chanting while a drum beats. Progress. (It didn’t last, the little drummer boy going missing between about the 10th and 80th minutes. Where did he go? What did he do?)

That was the worst three-all draw I’ve ever seen.

Drink du jour: Beartown Inception in Spiral City.

Away: 472 (9,640).

The Damage:
c.£7 petrol
= c.£7

Wimbledon 2-0 BFC, Saturday 23rd August 2025

‘Power to the people!’

To paraphrase someone or other, goals win games, clean sheets win promotion. And if that’s the case, we’re never going up. Not with Earl and Shepherd as centre halves, a failed left back and a non-league player. We won’t even have a decent partnership when Roberts or MdG return after injury. We were already 2 centre halves short BEFORE Roberts’ injury. And given Roberts taught Shepherd everything he knows about (mis)controlling a ball, and MdG taught Earl everything he knows about being physically dominated, it’s no wonder we crumble if our elite forward unit have an off-day.

Yes, we stumbled to defeat at Wimbledon, a side just promoted from division 4. But to see their centre halves stand tall, stand in the RIGHT PLACE and simply do the simple things right, while we...we...left their players alone, stepped out to give them chances where there were none, to constantly look like an accident waiting to happen. Well, that’s us. Good job we had Cooper in goal, without him they’d have had 5, minimum. I’ve avoided mention thus far this season of XG (expected goals) but what a world where THREE times Cooper denied them clean through, as he read their attempts at rounding him and yet none counted towards XG. (XG is based purely on shots taken.)

Yet still Cooper takes some criticism for giving the ball away for their opener. I’m sorry? He kicks the ball to the HALFWAY LINE and by dint of him being the last Red to touch the ball, it’s somehow HIS fault? How about having a forward there to hold it up? Or a defensive midfielder there to prevent the easy ball coming back? It’s on the halfway line FFS and every single Barnsley player is behind the ball when they pick it up. Cooper palms away the initial one-on-one but the ball is recycled, the cross comes in and EARL is easily manoeuvred out of the way for the flick. Then SHEPHERD and WATSON stand and gawp while their player sticks a leg in between them to hook home. Awful.

‘But we had chances too’. Yes, we did. Ogbata whips in a ball from the left and McGoldrick taps it in on the back post. Only he doesn’t. The keeper gets across superbly and makes the save. (I’m sure McGoldrick doesn’t get any sleep Sat nite, wondering why he either didn’t a) put his foot through it or b) sidefoot it into the opposite corner. But at least he made the keeper make a save.) Phillips has an opportunity, apex of the 6 yard box, hesitates, and pulls it back to no-one. On the opposite side, DKD turns down similar, but only an amazing fingertip from the keeper prevents a tap-in for whoever’s coming in on the back stick from DKD’s pass. Then there’s McG’s slow-mo acrobatic attempt coming off the post and somehow cannoning across the goal and BEHIND standing defenders.

But we deserved nowt and we achieved it with 20 mins left as a harmless throughball sees Shepherd stepping out and leaving himself in no-man’s land. A Womble turns and drills it in off the far post. Great finish. That’s how it’s done.

In response, after 70 odd minutes of Reds fans losing patience with our players for not shooting, Connell finally hits a 20 yarder past the post. But rather than the onslaught, that’s it, aaside from McG’s volley. He’s off, Kelly’s off, Ogbata’s off, Connell’s off...and no-one who comes on improves the situation, Cleary being particularly disappointing after his 2 other efforts on the wing.

A bad day at the office? The inevitable happening? Listen, we looked great for the opening 15-20 minutes, completely dominating possession and the match in their half, but once we conceded, Wimbledon never looked back. Cooper saved a one-on-one (an actual shot) and tipped another shot over, while another clean-through saw their player drag it wide in surprise (surprise that our central defence had let an innocuous ball get to him).

Onwards and upwards!

*** Cooper. Did I read he got 19 clean sheets at Stevenage last season? STEVENAGE. He’ll be lucky if he gets half a dozen with us.
** Ogbata. Looked dangerous on the attack and solid in defence.
* Kelly. A couple of great runs through the midfield. Needs to learn how to shoot though.

Londontykes’ MOTM: 1. Cooper 2. Ogbeta 3. McGoldrick

Despatches:
The positives: Well, I didn’t have to hear anyone say ‘we woulda lost this game last season’. And the pre and post match were great, on Reedy’s pubcrawls of the markets of Tooting Broadway. And all those food choices! If I miss one thing about London, it’s the international culinary choice. (Do Reform voters eat ‘foreign’? Just wondering.)

Big thanks also to the Future Mayor of Chesham for putting Reedy and I up. Or for putting up with Reedy and I. One of us is very sorry we took your dog for a walk and let it roll around in fox s***. The other one of us thought it was very funny.

Drink du jour: Wild Lands hazy pale and Keller Pils pre and post match at We Brought Beer, with some other hazy pale at Tooting Craft pre and post match in Tooting Market. Highly recommended.

Away: 1,206, sellout. (8,361)

The Damage:
£27 ent
£67.50 train
= £94.50

AFC Wimbledon 1-4 BFC, Saturday 19th January 2019

‘S*** stand, give us a song’

Welcome to ....

Who wasn’t excited today?  A first (last?) visit to Wimbledon’s Kingsmeadow stadium and the latest away match buying frenzy from the Oakwell faithful. I think folk needed 10 away match vouchers to qualify in the initial tranche and the 700 or so tickets were soon snapped up.  Fortunately, by hook or by crook, the Londontykes were out in force, along with the S.H.I.T.S. (South Hampshire Independent Tyke Supporters), most of whom met early doors at the Albion pub in Kingston.  Despite efforts to the contrary from Google Maps, I got there.  But at least I managed to take in the full glory of Kingston, all quaint mansion houses and mock Tudor.  Or b) concrete and a swirl of main roads.  I thought Kingston was meant to be NICE?  Makes Peckham look salubrious.

Top boozer.

The ground was a 15 minute walk away and at least we had a leader in us this time, Chris’s Fulham supporting mate.  Come to see a decent team?  Anyway, a walk past the tower blocks of Kingston / Norbiton (I was told).  Felt more Millwall than Wimbledon.  Then to the ground, and let’s be honest, about as non-league as you can get.  Once the home of Kingstonian, you can’t accuse Wimbledon of hypocrisy, kicking out the former owners to make a bit of cash out of Chelsea.  There’s a piece of me with just that little bit less sympathy for Wimbledon’s ‘issues’ over the years.  (It must be 20 years since we beat the Wombles 1-0 at Selhurst Park – Mike Sheron!!! – and their fans turned their backs on the pitch in protest at the possibility of their owners selling up and moving the club out of London.)

Prepare yourselves...

Oh yes, that non-league stadium of theirs.  Once through the turnstiles, one small entrance onto the terrace, and, needing to pee, I wasn’t allowed to join my mates, as ‘the stand is full’.  To be fair, I wondered why the area of terrace near the corner flag was partitioned off  - it was an overspill area for late arrivals to stand in.  Anton and I got our flags up on some metal fencing and then settled by the corner flag.  Christ, it’s a long way to that far end, but I did see some blond fella half volley us into the lead 20 or so mins in.  Great finish.  Looked like Ben Williams, but can’t be him – left back on the right hand hand side? McGeehan?  Dunno.  Problies Cauley, cos we know he can hit a ball (EFL League One Goal of the Month for December, btw). It was Cauley.

The view from the corner.  That's the teams lining up.  Over there.

We are cruising, albeit Pinnock’s made 3 big clearing headers, as well as being on the cover a couple of times.  From one of the latter, he fouls and is rightly carded.  We are further punished when the inswinger comes in and is flicked into the net.  So easy. Either side of the goal, their keeper makes 4 outstanding saves.  Davies joins in too, tipping one over, before the Wombles nearly hit the jackpot on the stroke of half-time.  Somehow, somehow, their bloke drags it wide from about 3 yards, with Davies diving the wrong way.  I’ve still no idea how it didn’t go in.  There’s a reason they’re bottom of the league.  (Mind, despite their predicament, we are the 1^st side to hit 4 against them this season.)

Davies readies himself for action.

At half time I fought my way against the traffic to get into the stand with the others.  What a view.  I couldn’t see any of the near touchline, stripping about 10 yards off the pitch.  ‘Worst view I’ve ever had’ said one of the oldies (older than me, anyway).  All around, all I could hear was moaning.  I thought that was MY job?  You’d have thought we were getting hammered.  6 mins into the second half and their tune changed, as Mowatt, wide right, cut back onto his only foot and curled in a ball for Moore to head home.  The kind of cross, and kind of goal, we should be scoring every week with Kiefer up front. 

How to describe the away terrace?  Cosy.

Thereafter, we took the game by the boll*cks and steamrollered ‘em.  A ball ran loose on the left and Thiam rifled home yet another.  He looks a worldbeater when he doesn’t have to think about it.  Then we thought we scored a 4^th, when, in a goalmouth scramble, the ball seems to hit the net.  No goal.  The consensus is it must have been a hand which moved the net. I’ve since watched a replay of it 10 times and I think the ball AND a hand hits the net.  Good job we’re so far down the leagues we don’t have a goal decision system!  (We do: it’s called a ref and linesman.)

'I've got a shed....as big as this.'

Luckily, it makes no odds.  McGeehan (back home whence he came) strokes the ball in after Thiam’s cross is half-cleared.  The former is making a habit of this, casually strolling into the box at exactly the right time (as opposed to steaming in and hoping for the best).  I really like him.  4-1 to the Super Reds, a 20+ pass move amid chants of ‘It’s just like watching Brazil’…and a return to the good old (recent) days with a few rounds of ‘Adam Hammill is a red’. He’s only gone and equalised on his debut against Sunderland.  I knew he could make a difference for us this season!

Onwards and upwards!

*** McGeehan.  Flits about midfield with his mate Mowatt, running the show. 

** Pinnock.  Another imperious effort, though not needed for the 2^nd half.

* Mowatt.  Another goal created, another confident performance.

Londontykes' MOTM: 1. McGeehan  2. Mowatt  3. Thiam

Note nets over stand (for Thiam?)

Despatches:

I knew we’d win when I got into the ground and they were playing ‘The boys are back in town’.  I used to enjoy it at Oakwell hearing that at full-time.  You knew we’d won.  Why don’t we play it anymore? It’s the one change I’d make at Oakwell, now we have working hand dryers.
Davies caught and kicked well and made A save.  Williams had another promising game at left back (though booked and later taken off as a precaution).  Cavare looked comfortable, without being marauding.  I never noticed Lindsay, aside to say he was NOT giving the ball away.  I was a bit surprised to see Pinnock doing all the heading 1^st half tho.  The midfield excelled again. Brown looks a ready-made replacement for Potts (haven’t we done well?) and the ‘442 with Pottsy on the wing’ was changed to ‘Browny’.  Dougall came on for 20 minutes and shored things up, but we’d won it by then.  Nearly forgot: Thiam.  A decent attacking prospect on the left.  Appeared to beat his man with ease, scored another blistering effort…then proceeded to hit anything but the barn door.  I’ve come to the conclusion that if he scores, we should take him off straightaway.  (I know, I know, my other idea is to not play him in the 1^st place.)  Cauley got himself taken off just before half-time.  Worrying when you can’t even make it to the break…hopefully it’s not serious.  Great finish for his goal.  Kiefer?  An enigma today.  I thought it was one of the worst games I’ve seen him play.  Control suspect, vision non-existent (missing a chance to play someone in by holding it too long).  Good job he scored.  Taken off soon after his inability to pass the ball, Stendal was apparently seething.

'Ohhhh Michael Van Gerwen'

Drink du jour: East London brewed wheat beer (I forget the make).  Tasted like a cross between normal normal lager and wheat beer, ie, not as nice as the stuff Johnny Foreigner brews.  And talking of Johnny Foreigner, howthehell did I end up in a conversation pre-match with a Barnsley Brexiteer.  You don’t know how much I had to bite my lip…

Away: 700 and some (capacity).  About 74 seated.  How the f*** can a league team offer 70 odd seats to visitors???

The Damage:
£17 ent
£3 prog
= £20…and whatever a day travelcard amounts to from zones 2-6.

The Tunes:
30 Something (Carter USM)
Music for the Jilted Generation (The Prodigy)
Ou est la maison du fromage? (John Cooper Clarke)

ps, it would have been my mum’s birthday on Friday.  She’d have been 65 and been able to call herself a pensioner.  Enjoy life while you can.

Kingsmeadow panorama

Match action

Later arrivals bag the best perch.  Well done Courthouse Reds!

Watching them...watching us...watch the action.

A disappointed Cauley leaves early.

Necks craned for a slightly less s*** view.

Big Brother is watching US.