Guest Report - Norwich City 2 - 0 Middlesbrough - Play Off Final - Monday 25th May 2015

My third outing to see Norwich this season following a trip to Fulham with my Dad and his friends in tow, and a mid-week hop to nearby Charlton. This was obviously the best of the three! My Dad managed to time his holiday to clash with the release of tickets but roped in one of his mates to log on and sit in a virtual queue for several hours to get us tickets. His mate was on holiday (in Southwold!) so I got his ticket.

On our trip from home to Wembley the first Canaries I saw were about 2 stops into our bus journey. We saw a few more on the tube but didn't see any red shirts until we hit Baker Street. We arrived at Wembley at about 1pm and it was already much busier than I expected. Wembley way looked great with the two distinctive colours.

Wembley Way

The arch

One proud Canary

Some fans looked like they'd raided all their Canary accessories and had brought them out all at once, Others went for the minimal look like this one ...

Even I dug out my canary and blew him up whilst drinking an overpriced pint of generic lager pre-match.

A well travelled canary - he's been to Sri Lanka and Wembley

We had great seats, right near the halfway line, so close to the Boro fans we were within range of projectiles so I wasn't keen when some Canary fans around us started baiting them, but they didn't bite.

So close, yet so far

I knew we were going to win because we'd brought two mascots along to Boro's one.

Captain Canary and Sport-o-saurus

Once the teams had warmed up they let each of the teams tannoy announcers loose, shouting so loud in regional accents you couldn't actually hear the team news.

Literally rolling out the red carpet for the teams

Almost full stadium

The match got off to an exciting start, we hit the bar then Boro charged up the other end and did the same but 10 minutes in our supremacy showed and we went one up, and a few minutes later it was two! Unbelievable! We dominated the first half despite what the stats may say, although there were a couple of wobbly moments with Ruddy not quite taking the ball as cleanly as you'd hope for a former England number 3.

First half action

My half time entertainment was seeing how many different shirts I could spot - this was my favourite ... shiny and the club badge woven into the fabric - it just screams 20th Century!

The second half was mostly taken up with wondering when we'd throw it all away - maybe I've spent too much time watching Barnsley this season - but we didn't.  We held on to our advantage despite the scrappier play.

Second half action

The excitement started to grow in the last 10 minutes when we realised that as they hadn't really had a good chance since they hit the bar we might actually do it.

Almost there, don't get excited quite yet

Wave your blow up canary like you just don't care!

The final whistle!

We were in the tier above the dug outs and royal box so had to watch the medal giving on the big screen.

Celebrity directors

But we got a great view of the celebration (great if you have a posh camera like me).

Someone's got to clear up all that mess afterwards

The newest Premier League Scottish manager

We stayed until the end of the presentation and photocalls, unlike some people ... but fair enough they had just lost their 5th match at Wembley in a row.

Where have they all gone, there's a trophy presentation going on!

YELLOWS! YELLOWS! YELLOWS! YELLOWS! YELLOWS! YELLOWS! YELLOWS!

Hendon 0-1 Margate, Saturday 16th May 2015

Hendon 0-1 Margate, Ryman League Premier play-off final

'I p***ed the bed last night'**

Welcome to ............

With the Ryman League Premier play-off semi finals held up by the expulsion of Enfield (deducted 3 points for fielding an ineligible player), I was able to sneak in a cheeky extra fixture.  3^rd placed Hendon, victorious over the Metropolitan Police had home advantage (albeit as tenants at Harrow Borough) over Margate, victors over Dulwich Hamlet in their semi.  Makes a change – the seasiders coming to London for the day!  Myself, the match was just reward for earlier clothes shopping in Oxford St.  In fact, who knew you could get a tube direct from Oxford Circus to Harrow?  (Well, Northolt. My geographical knowledge of north-west London is a bit iffy; Do Harrow not even play in Harrow?)  I’d have timed it nice as well, if the tube turned up quicker, or it was a shorter walk to the ground.  Still, it was a fine day and there was no rush to see kick-off.  There was no queue, save for a father and his pushchair.  No problem – just open the main gate.

The final league table, handwritten (not inc. pts deduction).

The match was interesting, but awful.  How can anyone play football on a pitch completely made up of bobbles?  It was no wonder the sides elected to hit it long.  Then, after 20 minutes, Hendon had a player sent off for a bad challenge.  A few around me thought it was a yellow card at best and I was a bit surprised too, given the ref let an earlier one go.  That was it, for the rest of the half Hendon retreated while Margate always had a spare man able to loft the ball in. 

The Hendon Massive

Still, Margate were restricted to long shots and the Hendon keeper made several good saves before the breakthrough came.   A run down the left resulted in a low cross which was scuffed home.  0-1 half time and I changed ends, firmly expecting a Margate onslaught 2nd half.  Instead, I don’t remember anything happening.  Hendon didn’t really gamble, and Margate wasted several chances to make chances.  Their fans still made plenty of noise though (a few hundred) while baiting the home fans with ‘Your support is f***ing s***’ (which it was).

Margate celebrate the opener.

Afterwards, there was a presentation of the trophy and medals, which the unfortunate Hendon players had to stay and watch.  I think they expected to be given losers medals, but this isn’t the FA Cup Final, so they got nowt.

All in all, another thoroughly agreeable time at a non-league ground.  If I had one complaint it’s that the clubhouse, large as it is, has the tiniest of bars and the queue was far too long.  Anyone I saw coming out with a beer missed at least 10 minutes of the second half.  I was though able to buy a postcard of a non-league ground (not even Harrow Borough) at the club shed.  Maybe it was Hendon’s old ground, I dunno.


Attendance: 1,228

The Damage:
£10 ent
£2 prog
£0.50 postcard

** I bumped into an away fan in the toilets.  Why would ANYONE admit to having wet the bed last night, let alone to a complete stranger?  Well, he did and he did.  

The back of the stand.  Fans' frustration?

The car park end.

Margate's #1 fan.

The Main Stand.

The Margate Team Coach Minibus

Gutted.  A Hendon player reacts to full time.

The team tunnel.

Margate fans celebrate promotion.

Not the busiest press box...

Or else!

I love the homemade sign.

Old and unwanted.  Shame.

Barnsley 5-0 Rochdale, Sunday 3rd May 2015

‘kan vi spille du hver uke?’

Down the hill to the Theatre of Screams

Due to unpopular demand, here’s last week’s match report.  Sorry for the delay.  The thing about spending the weekend up in Barnsley and amusing a Norweigan back in London means I’m massively behind in work at the moment.  Good job it’s not exam time.  Oh.

'Keith Hill was right, Barnsley is sh*te.'

Anyway, those that were there may remember we played quite well in the first half; lots of passing and movement and George Smith tearing down the left wing.  An odd tactic I thought, given they had Tom Kennedy defending for them on the opposite side!  The way we moved the ball around at will, anyone would think Rochdale had nowt to play for – which they hadn’t, as they were already destined to finish above us for the 1^st time in 40 odd years.  But let’s give Dale and Keith Hill their dues.  Their highest ever position?

Toby busts a few shapes pre-match

The second half continued in a similar vein.  It was an entertaining, open game, though a little devoid of actual chances.  Then one of theirs got a 2^nd yellow and the floodgates opened.  Suddenly we fancied ourselves, got cocky and Davies had to pull off 2 (more) amazing saves, including a one-on-one.  Everyone forgets this at full-time.

Of course, we then swamp them, marauding this way and that with players finishing the flowing moves in superb style.  Or b) we rely on deadballs again.  Hourihane swings in a corner and Scowen, standing still, heads home.  Then Hourihane swings in a corner and Scowen, standing still, heads home.  Then Hourihane swings in a corner and Holgate stretches out a leg at the backpost.  3-0.  Fancy, a Keith Hill-led side being unable to defend.  Well, if you shop at Aldi…

The teams come out

Then a decent move down our right, the ball laid on a plate by Oates for an open-goal tap-in by Hourihane.  How Oates must regret not having a go himself, being released by BFC only a few days later.  Cos we all know Conor would’ve squared the ball in a goalscoring position, don’t we?  The icing on the cake is the 5^th in injury time, as George Smith gets his just desserts, running down the left and crossing deep for Winnall to notch at the back post.  5-0.  5 f***ing nil.  If only it mattered.

Now, I’d love to say the crowd broke out in a ‘Keith Hill, what’s the score?’ but they couldn’t be ar5ed all day, save for a tiny ‘It’s just like watching Brazil’. Far more vocal were the Dale 600 with their ‘Keith Hill was right, Barnsley is sh*te’ chant (till they started conceding). The Ponty looked fairly devoid of people all match...while I have it on good terms by a latecomer that some left at half time.  More fool them!

Fans celebrate the end of another season of non-achievement.

*** Smith.  Roared up that line time and again.  Declan WHO?

** Scowen.  Ran around, scored 2, got booked for a late tackle. Redfearn’s Twitter MOTM (as usual).

* Davies. 2 crucial saves at 0-0.  

Despatches:
Somebody asked if Hourihane’s goal and 3 assists were good enough for me?  Well, I’d like to see Hourihane pass it across the box for a tap in one day. Or set up a goal from open play.  3 corners and poor defending against 10 men.  Well done Conor.   As for his 15 goals (including pens)..well, that’s the same number as Bristol City’s centre half.  BFC fans' player of the year my ar5e.

Great to see so many ex-juniors given a chance today and none of ‘em let the side down. Maris showed good movement 1^st half and obviously Oates looked half decent and set one up.  Good luck Rhys – you’re just not George Waring (!)  Holgate, Bree and sub Digby all looked good. In Digby’s case, can he step into Pearson’s shoes next year?  Cos next season is make or break for him.  Winnall had his usual falling over game.  Can someone tell him to either get a new pair of boots or stop diving?  That and his lack of hold up play irks me, no matter how many he scores.  Berry looked promising again. Perhaps he’ll confound us all and have a future at Oakwell.

'Please get off the pitch.  The players will not...'  Yeah yeah.  

Drink du jour: vodka and orange (gents), Prosecco (ladies).  One advantage of a 12:15 KO was the chance of after-match beers in the Old Number 7 AND the Sheffield Tap.   Mind, being ‘Tour de Yorkshire’ day in Barnsley, the upstairs of the #7 was packed, including that brass band, so we had to hide in the basement.
Onwards and upwards. Shame we p***ed it away with 1 win in the last 10 but we’ve got to be optimistic about next year’s chances. For a start, Johnson has GUARANTEED at least the play-offs.  Get Declan John and George Waring back and it’s nailed on*.  (Kidding).

Crowd: 9,593  Away: c.600. Good turnout from the ickle village over the Pennines.  Good to see Noble-Lazarus back (he was rubbish) and Kennedy kick it backwards (sadly, they don’t have Chris O’Grady so he sent little down the line). Dawson was out injured, shame, I liked him.

*you know Loko actually believes this, don’t you!!??

The thin yellow line.

Nets taken down till August.

The East Stand empties.

One day soon this will all be dust.

The Metropolitan Centre, soon to R.I.P.

Everton 0-2 Sunderland, Saturday 9th May 2015

Welcome to Goodison!

Finally, finally, I get to visit Goodison Park, a ground I’d always fancied visiting but never had the chance.  And now the season was over for those lower-division no-marks (ie, my team), I could chalk off another ground with little effort. Well, that was the plan.  Train tickets and match tickets bought, a mate and his son for company, what could go wrong?  Well, I just don’t think me and Euston get on.  Last time the ticket machine didn’t print my ticket and I had to argue with staff to let me onto a later train without extra payment, and an earlier jaunt involved me getting on the wrong train.  (Note: never get the slow train to Watford.  It is very, VERY slow).

Goodison's triple-decker, built way back in '71.

This morning began with a #68 from Camberwell to Euston. No money on my Oystercard.  Can I pay cash?  No I can’t.  (In the heat of battle it never occurred to me I can pay by ‘contactless’).  Got off and got credit at the newsagents.  Then stood as a couple of #45 buses to Kings X came and went.  Coulda got on either and walked to Euston. Chose neither and completely forgot that Kingsway was shut down for roadworks.  From setting off in plenty of time, it was now touch and go whether I’d make the 09:07 train.  One detour later and I make it to Euston at 09:05.  I sprint into the station (I already know what platform) and as I get to the top of the platform those f***ers known as Virgin have closed the gates.  Turns out they do this with two minutes to go.  Who knew?  I leg it down an adjoining platform and cut across to platform 6.  ‘YOU CAN’T DO THAT’ shouted a Virgin lackey as I made it to the train as the doors were being closed.  Jumped on, jobs a good un.

Leitch's double-decker

Met my mate and his son on the train and got to Liverpool in time to have a couple of beers near the station before the match.  2 pints and a diet coke, £4.40 (!!)  Admittedly, the best you can say about the pub itself was that it had seen better days, but still.  Spent what we saved on a taxi to the stadium and made it in just after kick-off.

I’d got a ticket in the Lower Gwladys, absolutely perfect.  High enough for a decent view, low enough not to be behind supporting pillars.   Looking around, it looked busy, despite the lunchtime kick-off (for TV).  Not that it was a classic; Sunderland were fighting for their lives at the bottom, while Everton had little to play for beyond continuing their recent good run.  As ever, at this stage of the season, effort won out over ability.

Where one stand meets another.

Despite being penned in their own half and ‘enjoying’ 27% possession (yeah, I’ve checked) Sunderland took the lead with a jammy effort.  A shot from the edge of the box was deflected in by Danny Graham for his first goal in 29 matches.  How does a centre forward go 29 games without a goal?  Surely standing in the 6 yard box for corners would bag you a couple in this period – unless you’re really s***.    Their second goal was even luckier, a shot so bad it was heading for a throw-in being deflected in off Defoe.  The gods were seriously with Sunderland today, and although Everton created little, they did hit the post (Jagielka?).  Otherwise, in a subdued (home) atmosphere, the highlight was probably the baiting of their own substitute, Arouna Koné, who steadfastly refused to give the fans a wave, despite their ironic requests.  I think he knows they don’t rate him.

Corrugated plastic blocking the view of the church.

After the match, we walked back to the city centre, 3 miles or so, before having a beer in the Albert Dock.  And one thing I would say about Liverpool city centre, it’s a hell of a lot better than it was when I was last there.  I was almost disappointed.

Attendance:  38,246

The Damage:
£40 train
£34 travel
£3 prog

One man shows his colours...

Behind the goal cameraman.

The only Everton player who matters...John Stones.

'Meet up outside the blue house'.

The lower Gwladys.