Birmingham City 1-1 Barnsley, Wednesday 1st January 2014

Ahhh, holidays.  Got up about 10:30 and am currently keeping half an eye out on Redfearn, who’s got a pair of eyes on the fence, waiting for this other cat to hop over again….

Old skool!  Waiting for a train to Small Heath.

Well, I had a different match experience.  Been a while since I’ve been to a game on my lonesome.  So I took a couple of beers for the train and realised I’d brought the wrong keys, so no bottle opener for me.  Once in Brum, I decided not to make the mistake of last year and walk to the ground via Edgbaston, so looked up St. Andrews on a map and caught a train to Small Heath.  It was STILL a bloody long walk!  Oh, and I saw a young lady’s short skirt blow up in the wind, revealing everything.  (Just thought I’d pop that in.)

I really was on my lonesome.  No home fans, either.

Nice touch.  But no, I didn't go in.

I'm not sure what to make of the BCFC 'superstore'.  Let's just say 'unique'.

It was an odd game, in so much as it was a typical 2^nd division game and we don’t have many of them anymore.  It was two evenly matched teams, both generally looking not very good.  For whole swathes of the match we looked like BFC under Hill – absolutely bags of possession, generally sideways.  Perhaps we should take up rugby?  Yet we still fashioned chances.  Newboy Shea showed he didn’t have a right foot when clean through, cut back onto his left and proved that wasn’t very good either, the keeper making an easy save.  A Perkins shot was spilled and (I thought) O’Grady dribbled the rebound pathetically wide.  Everyone else blamed Mellis, so maybe my eyes aren’t what they were.  (In fact, they aren’t – it WAS Mellis.  Pr*ck.)

Found some home fans.  Where?  Over there!

In amongst all our possession, they scored.  It took 9 minutes this time – the opposition obviously aren’t Derby!  O’Brien and Crainie stand off their 2 men and a low cross is banged in.  This should be easy for Steele, but a mixture of injured and the wet grass means it zips along the 6 yard box where M’Voto has a decision to make: go for it and risk scoring an own goal, or simply let the forward tap it into an empty net.  He chooses b).  9 minutes and I’m already questioning Wilson’s defensive selection.  Fair enough, he’s dropped Wiseman, but he’s shunted star defender Crainie to right back (where he spends most of the 1^st half wanting to play centre) and he brings in M’Voto, presumably to negate the gigantic Zigic.  (To be fair, this worked for the last 81 mins, though if Zigic could direct his headers he’d be a great player).  True, they missed a one-one and had a header hit the bar, but regards the latter, I was as amazed as anyone it hit the bar cos it looked like it was going miles over.  No danger.

The old main stand

2^nd half and we still look the better team.  Or should I say the more interested?  (Not a phrase we’ve said much recently.)  The midfield ran about (I even saw Mellis run 20 yards to make a great tackle…before losing possession himself, of course) and O’Grady held up EVERYTHING.  Shame then that no-one fancied joining him.  Ramage had a header from a corner cleared off the line but just past the hour, we equalise.  Woo hoo!  And while the keeper readies himself for Kennedy curling it one side of the wall, up steps Mellis to curl it the other way.  Well done Jacob!  (I’ve always liked him.)  Later, a beautiful dummy by Mellis (I’ve always liked him) allows Perkins to have a free shot from the edge of the box.  All he has to do is sidefoot it on target with defenders obstructing the keeper.  He clears the bar.

We have the bit between our teeth now and with Shea tiring Wilson sends on Cywka to win the game for us.  Sadly, he doesn’t, and while we do muster the odd counter attack, the last 10 mins are mainly spent defending corners or sitting deep.  All in all, a well won point – but another winnable game has disappeared over the horizon.

*** Steele.  Saved, caught or punched everything bar the goal.  Crucial one-on-one save at 1-0 when Crainie (him again) allowed the winger to outpace him.

** Mellis.  When he wasn’t giving the ball away or missing easy chances, I thought he had a good game.  No, really.  Then that free kick.  I’ve always liked him.

* O’Grady.  Do I need to describe his game?

Fickle?  Blues fans??

Despatches:
If we’re to ever score another goal in open play (save for Cywka’s ‘worldies’) then O’Grady desperately needs more support up front.  This involves players from midfield pushing forward, not simply giving it to O’Grady then standing and watching.  (Fair enough Waddington’s favourite O’Brien occasionally does this)

Shea had an odd game.  He’s a 6’3” left winger who also thinks he can play on the right.  Created mayhem in the 1^st half on 3 or 4 occasions, simply by pushing up with O’Grady.  Perhaps, it being his 1^st game, the opposition had no idea who he was or how to deal with him.  However, my gut instinct is we’ve dragged in another pointless loanee.  And why can left footers never kick with their other foot?

For once I bought a match programme.  And a jolly good read too.  I learnt that part time Reds fan Paul Gallagher’s fave player is Paddy McCourt and your team should be decided by your birth certificate.  That’s it – I’m off to support Durham City!

But in case you didn’t know footballers were on another planet, the Q&A with Jesse Lingaard offered this gem: 
Q: ‘When was the last time you caught public transport?’ 
A: ‘I got a taxi last week’

Ho ho ho.  Happy New Year Everyone!

A

ps, Redfearn is now sat on the picnic table in the back garden.  He likes holidays too!!!!!

Birmingham City 0-5 Barnsley, Saturday 22nd September 2012

And the view from the Camberwell jury…

YOUUUUUUUUUUUUU REDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!  So here’s why one must come to these random games (despite them being on telly and all).  What a performance. The biggest away win since visiting Accrington Stanley in the 1930s (probably), we played Brum off the park from start to finish.  Can there have been a more perfect performance?  Even at 0-0 at half time, there’d only been one team in it.  Of course, like any sane Reds fan, one feared we’d pay for those 1^st half misses, but it wasn’t to be….we were AWESOME (dude).

Every outfield player did his bit.  Only Alnwick had nought to do (thank god).  The defence were comfortable, we were dominant in midfield and in Dagnall and Davies, we had a front 2 who Brum simply couldn’t cope with.  It was embarrassing in the 2^nd half, watching Davies up against someone he was stronger than, faster than and (most bizarrely) more skilful than.  Who was that hapless centre half?

*** Davies.  You can’t argue with 4 goals.  1^st time since Currie?
** Dangerous.  Very unlucky not to score, thanks to (at least) 3 great saves from England’s #2. The tip onto the post was particularly fabulous.
* Dawson.  The new Redfearn, driving forward from midfield.

Despatches:  Mellis.  Outstanding, helped by Dawson’s efforts in the middle.

The fans?  Well, dunno if you could hear us, but there was plenty of singing throughout from the 295 (not just when we were winning, tho obviously it got louder as the goals went in).  Mind, I wondered if they’d turn us down on the telly, what with the popular ‘if you’re watching on the telly you’re a cnut’ chant.  Plenty of ‘it’s just like watching Brazil’, which must perk the team up and a few ‘how sh*t must you be?  We’re winning away’ which possibly doesn’t.  Though one of my favourite chants, which I hope to air a little more often, was ‘5-0 to the Barnserlee’, which I find very very catchy.

As for Brum, well, I’ve always said they’re a fickle bunch, judging by the poor numbers they generally bring to Oakwell, but 13,000 odd at home for a team from ‘Britain’s 2^nd city’ is p*** poor. But well done to the 5 or 6000 who stayed to watch the whole pasting.  I know the feeling.

Oh, and sweet revenge for the 5-0 they gave us one year  at Oakwell (0-0 till the keeper got sent off;  Claridge possibly scored a hattrick that day).

Come the final whistle, it was time to button up, zip it up, and run the gauntlet of hundreds of local neanderthals outside (as is the St. Andrew’s custom) but it turned out they’d all gone home, sobbing.

EIEIEIO UP THE FOOTBALL LEAGUE WE GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Superb.

ps, I heard me and my taxi driver (Molly) were seen on telly.  Now, if THAT doesn't drive up viewing figures, I dunno what will.  I trust I looked as smug as I felt.  F***ing glorious.

pps, 80 odd minutes in, Sarah proclaimed herself bored.  'There hasn't been a goal in 10 minutes' she said.