Ramsbottom United 4-1 Barnoldswick Town, Tuesday 4th November 2025

Ramsbottom United 4-1 Barnoldswick Town, North West Counties League Premier Division, Harry Williams Riverside Stadium, att. 183

It’s raining, it’s pouring...so why not venture out to another evening of non-league footie? I give Kev 3 choices and he elects for Ramsbottom. Perhaps it’s the thought that it’s just a whizz round the M60 from Ashton. That and he’s never been. And nor, obviously, have I.

The roads are busy, possibly the weather causing folk to be cautious on the motorway. ‘Have you checked it’s on?’ Ah, no I haven’t. Cardinal error. I always check before a game, but picking up Satnav Kev, I think I’ve been lulled into a subconsciously false sense of confidence. Ramsbottom haven’t posted anything on Twitter. ‘Check Barnoldswick.’ Thankfully, they have. Game on. Which is more than can be said of another possibility tonite, Irlam. Maybe others fear it’s off. Despite 9 wins in a row, it’s the 2nd lowest crowd of the season, though as it’s the 7th home game in a month, fans probably have burnout.

We roll into Ramsbottom and I see a sign for the football club, down a one track lane. Rather than risk being led into a full car park and a dead end, we park 100 metres in a carpark. 30 odd runners across the road are ready for their weekly run and we all applaud one of them, who’s team leader for the first time on one route. Hope it went well.

The one track road is about 200 metres long, but we can see the floodlights, so it’s alright. Further confirmation of the game being on? Surely they’d not be wasting electricity at current prices. £9 in, and instant accostment for a Golden Goal ticket. I’ve swerved off for a programme though and Kev is slightly pleased with their efforts, a ticket in a small envelope. Swish.

We enter the ground, one of the first here. We have eschewed the pub on the corner by the car park for the Rammy social club. This is a mistake, as there isn’t one. Bizarrely, they have a ‘hospitality suite’, possibly the best place to watch the game in the ground, some bench seats behind plate glass, with tables for your non-existent beers. ‘The (adjacent) cricket club will be open after the game for a drink’...but what use is that to us?

As it was raining, we took shelter in the small portacabin that has essence of greasy caff. There’s 3 tables with 4 seats where no more than 2 are present. You’d have to be about 8 stone wet through and not wear a coat to fit two people side-by-side. We stand and drink our tea / Bovril. (I’ve never had Bovril. What is it? Beef extract? Watery gravy? I like beef. I like gravy. I’m northern. But Bovril simply doesn’t appeal.)

Kev eyes his watch. 7.44. I bolted out of there. I like to see the teams come out, and we join the sidelines as they disperse. On this touchline is the hospitality suite and some flat standing. We stand the other side of the halfway line, till the rain forces us behind the far goal. It is already 2-0 to the Rammies, top of the league, aiming for a 9th win in a row and keeping up their record of scoring in every game this season (25).

The early action is dominated by Kev cheering on a Rammy goal while looking at his watch. His Golden Goal time is 11 minutes and on 7:56 the home side miss a good chance. Oh well. But a minute or so later they bag and Kev, doing the maths, figures we must have kicked off after 7:45 cos the teams came out at 7:44 by his watch. So, is this goal on 11 minutes? Has he won? No P.A. announcement is forthcoming.

The stand behind the goal has some of the oddest seating I’ve ever seen, around half a dozen park benches spread around the back of a 3 step terrace. Well, if you’ve the capacity, but not the fans to fill it, why not? We join a smattering of fans, including the few from ‘Barlick’, since this is the end the visitors are kicking towards. They’ve also pulled a goal back and look threatening on the break. It’s a penalty which takes so long to take, the Rammy youth have managed to leg it from the opposite end in time to shine their phone torches in the direction of the taker. It makes no difference.

Half-time sees us complete a circumnavigation of the pitch. The long side has a couple of small stands, and crucially (for me) the toilets. No working tap, mind. Then it’s back to the opposite side, passed the cover behind this goal and the hospitality suite (containing nobody) and now can begin the (wo)manhunt for the lady who sold Kev is ticket. Accosting her politely, he asks what minute the golden goal was. ‘11 minutes.’ Unbridled joy, as Kev manages to make a profit on the evening, even if he has to join the back of the queue in the refreshment cabin before getting his grubby mitts on twenty whole pounds. Lovely. (Personally, I was disappointed it wasn’t a crate of some crap lager which he’d have to carry around with him for the rest of the game. You obviously get a better class of prize here than most Northern League venues I’ve been to.)

Now the rain has stopped, we return to our original perch to see Ramsbottom dominate and run out 4-1 winners while Kev fingers his cash constantly (probably). League leaders, but they’ve been here before, and failed. Will it be second time lucky? They look good for it, but we’re barely into November.

The Damage
£9 ent
£2 prog
=£11

Glossop North End 1-1 Barnoldswick Town, Saturday 23rd March 2024

Glossop North End 1-1 Barnoldswick Town, North West Counties League Premier Division, Asgard Engineering Stadium (Surrey Street), att. 292

Can there be a finer journey in football than driving to Glossop? Heading across the Pennines, through Holmfirth, up to Holme Moss summit, before dipping down again past Woodhead and numerous reservoirs, and yet more hills, before arriving at Glossop, on the edge of the Derbyshire Peak District. You’d do well not to have an accident as you attempt to take in the breathtaking views. Then, at journey’s end, you arrive at Glossop North End, the smallest team (in terms of population) ever to grace England’s top flight, albeit in 1899-1900.

Surrey Street is up a hill. Of course it is. And although there’s fine views of hills at one side, an industrial estate bounds the other. The folk are very friendly though, and on entrance I’m given a free raffle ticket. 4th prize is ‘win the goals in pints’. ‘What if it’s nil nil?’ I ask. ‘Oh, it’ll still get drawn. Think of it as a booby prize.’ I like his style, and, for the most part, can’t help myself in hoping for a goalless draw today.

The social club is on the left as you enter. It’s sizable and offers slightly more than your usual Carling etc. I plump for a Distant Hills KeraIa IPA and very nice it is too. A menu of alcohol free beers suggests they have about 20 to choose from. Surely not. A Glossop North End embossed table football table doubles as pint holder while every normal table is taken.

Next door are the changing rooms, beside a couple of covered steps of terracing. To the left of that is the main stand, stretching from the byeline to nearly the halfway line. After that, nothing beyond a perimeter fence. For a good half hour I’m not even sure if people are allowed in this one and a half sides of the ground, before one brave soldier walks around from the Surrey Street side. Opposite the main stand, on the Surrey Street side, is a small terrace with cover either side of the halfway line. This is where most supporters are stood, hidden from the intermittent rain.

A lower midtable battle, the visitors are Barnoldswick, or ‘Barlick’ as they pronounce it. They’ve brought quite a few as well. Must be the journey. They’re pretty vocal, as are the North End ultras, around 15 pre-pubescent kids who start out at one end of the main stand and work their way around the ground. Occasionally, their leader will go on a run through the crowd and the rest will follow, though his acolytes aren’t quite on message after Glossop open the scoring after 66 minutes. On a cold, wet day, the sight of a young lad running topless down a terrace brings much mirth amongst the adults.

Barlick have been unlucky, North End throwing bodies in front of them in several goalmouth scrambles, but a late equaliser means the visitors don’t go home disappointed. Then it’s back to the clubhouse for the draw, and, like half time, there’s a cover band offering us the likes of James and Oasis. I really want to win the draw, a North End shirt, but the club is packed – well done Glossop – and I want to make hay while it’s daylight. Those views won’t be the same in the dark. Beautiful.

The Damage:
£10 ent
£2 programme
£4 Distant Hills Kerala IPA
= £16