Ashton Town P-P MSB Woolton, Tuesday 24th March 2026

Ashton Town P-P MSB Woolton, North West Counties League First Division North, The Bartons Group Stadium

Having given Kev the options of Darwen or Bacup Borough tonite, I realise mid-afternoon that I’ve got the wrong day – those are tomorrow. I look up the fixtures again and narrow it down to Ashton Town, Euxton Villa or Prestwich Heys. The latter is closest to Kev, and it’s also where Cousin Chris lives. Maybe he fancies it too? Chris is unavailable, so we decide to leave Prestwich for another time.

We decide on Ashton, partly cos Euxton is an 8pm kick-off. 8pm? Whatthehell’s that about? As we head north on the motorway, the rain is lashing down. ‘It’s not gonna be on’ I say. Kev keeps checking Twitter. So far, so good. We make it to the lane leading to the ground, but I’m not keen. Especially not now we’ve seen a ‘parking full’ sign. We park up across the road and head down to the ground.

As we edge closer, I notice the floodlights aren’t even on. There’s only about half an hour to kick-off. ‘This match is off’ I say. Besides, the main gates are wide open. Kev checks Twitter for the umpteenth time. ‘Match off. They sent a message 4 minutes ago.’ So, roughly as we were parking. Still, the social club is doing good business, as both teams are in there enjoying a not very well earned drink. It is also the second time this season I have attempted to see MSB Woolton, and the second time it has been postponed (the other being Thornton Cleveleys). They are proving to be my nemesis.

Still, Euxton Villa kicks off at 8. Shall we? (We shall.)

Stevenage P-P BFC, Saturday 20th January 2024

‘Another week unbeaten.’

I’ve been looking forward to this for ages. It’s Barnsley’s first ever visit to Stevenage and the only League 1 ground I’ve not seen the Super Reds play at. Thus, I’m treating myself, getting the train. Get there nice and early, meet up with the Londontykes and find the best drinking hole before staggering on to watch the football through a haze. Sounds like a plan.

Setting off on a 7:30 train and travelling via Leeds, I arrive at Stevenage at 11:02. It’s a mild, sunny day but there’s a pitch inspection at 11am. As the weather has been ok for a few days, surely this is a formality. However, the decision has been bottled and there’ll be another inspection at 1. Time to be concerned. We head up to the old town, 20 or so minutes’ walk in the wrong direction from the ground and have a quick snifter in the Wetherspoons before heading to the Six Hills Brewery tap room, ‘The Broken Seal’, which doesn’t open till midday.

The others drift in over the next hour, including an old uni mate who I’ve dragged over from St. Albans. He’s coming to the game too, the fool. A plethora of quaffable ales are imbibed. It is, without doubt, my favourite away drinking hole of the season (and the company’s great too). And it’s a good job, as word comes through of the inevitable. The match has been postponed, less than 2 hours before kick-off, with the majority of Reds fans already in or around Stevenage. It’s like Exeter, last season, or Charlton a few years back. There is absolutely zero consideration for away fans travelling long distances. Why decisions like this can’t be taken the day before, only the EFL know.

In the end, I nearly miss my train back. I’ve cleverly elected not to let food get in the way of drinking and it’s touch and go whether I’ll make it. That would’ve just topped it off. Still, I’m an eternal optimist, and today’s cancellation brings several improvements in our players; Phillips didn’t sky any over, Shepherd didn’t gift the opposition a dozen chances in the 1st 10 minutes, Cole didn’t hide behind any defenders, Jordan didn’t look confused and Kane looked faster than usual. However, Watters was still dogsh*t. Plus ca change.

Drink du jour: Anything and everything. I know it started with a Leffe...

Away: c1,000+. I hope they enjoyed their day as much as I did.

The Damage:
£47 travel

Billingham Town A-A Crook Town, Saturday 18th December 2021

Billingham Town A-A Crook Town, Northern League Division 1, Bedford Terrace, att. c.120

Cold, damp, foggy…what better way to spend Satdy afternoon than in the Northern League in December? The Auckland derby – West v Bishop – called, but I’ve been to Darlington Road this season. I needed somewhere else, close to home, where I hadn’t been. Thus, too far to Blyth Town (called off anyway) and I figured Billingham could do with my support more than West.

Parked up (with the help of Google Maps) next to the ground, I paid my seven quid and was in. No programmes, and barely any fans, save for a few wearing the black and amber of Crook. I think the rest were in the clubhouse, which I hadn’t yet discovered. Just time for a little wander to the far side before battle commenced, both teams coming out to no fanfare at all as I looked up from my phone to see them ready to kick off. I could just about see the far goal, but I could definitely hear the Billy Town drummer. My God, a drummer, at this level. I couldn’t see him, but he was in the Main Stand somewhere, opposite.

There were a few fans on this side, including a couple of raucous away fans. Most spectators stood under a small cover. It may not have been raining, but it looked warmer and cosier. Behind the goal I’d walked past an even smaller stand – a former bus shelter (timetable still in place) propped behind the two step terrace.

Billingham, amongst 4 teams roughly tied at the bottom of the league, didn’t lok out of place against a midtable Crook side who’d threatened the top 4 not so long since. But the pitch was heavy, the effort was high, and neither team gave ground. Chances were at a premium and the sides went in at half-time nil nil. In the meantime I chatted on to former league president Mike Amos, who’d had to change his plans to see the Auckland derby, called off at 1:45pm. (Some people get personal phonecalls from team secretaries.)

I continued my circumnavigation of the ground. Where was everybody? I noticed them sloping off before half-time. They were all in the clubhouse over the other side. Upon finding, I went in for toilet and warmth. I sank into the comfiest of couches while marvelling at being able to buy a large bottle of Pino Gricho for 8 quid. I didn’t see any takers.

Second half, I tried out the Main Stand. I stood at the back, having changed sides to avoid the drummer. Great view. Well, considering it was foggy. And 16 minutes in, the ref blew his whistle and came over to the two coaches. What was going on? I presumed an injury of some kind, but no. Two minutes of chit-chat and that was it – the ref had called it a day, despite conditions being no worse than at kick-off. I milled around, listening to various fans chunter their frustrations before I was approached by someone looking very official in an FA overcoat, carrying a clipboard. ‘I’ve no idea why it’s been called off.’ Oh dear.

The Damage:
£7 ent
£1 tea
= £8

The Tunes:
Pure, Impure (Seefeel)
BBC5Live

Brandon United P-P Blyth Town, Saturday 27th November 2021

Brandon United P-P Blyth Town, Northern League Division 2, ‘The Sawmills Kitchen The Welfare Ground’ (sic)

What are the odds? The game I was originally going to go to in the Northern League (Carlisle City v Bedlington Terriers) was the only one actually played, while all other fifteen matches were postponed. However, I’d not gone to Carlisle. With Storm Arwen wreaking havoc in the north-east, there was no way I was risking a trip over the North Pennine tops to Carlisle – I might not get back. But with games off all over the place, it looked like Brandon had survived. OK, I was using up one of my closer trips in my effort to see all 41* Northern League venues this season (38 different ones, including shared venues), but still.

*It’s taken me till now to realise there’s 41 sides; I looked at a list of 40 teams, noticed newcomers Boldon CA weren’t on there and spent an age wondering which side was on there who shouldn’t be.

So I pootled to Brandon, 18 minutes away, having religiously checked their Twitter feed to ensure the game was on. And it was – till I turned left into the lane the ground is on. 3 people were walking the other way. No-one ever walks this way. I turned into the car park and 2 more fellas were ambling toward me. ‘Match off?’ ‘Yup. But the pitch is fine.’ A snow blizzard had begun. I nipped into the ground to see one of the teams walking across the pitch with their kit bags slung over their shoulders. Oh well, I can bring forward the supermarket shop…

I was driving to Bishop Auckland, cheap petrol (no idea why petrol is cheaper in Bishop, but it is) and I found myself driving through Willington. ‘Ah! Durham City!’ Groundsharing, the hapless Durham City were at home to Chester-le-Street. I don’t remember that being called off. It was. Floodlights off, turnstiles shut, I travelled on for the hattrick. Yes, in my mini-tour of Northern League football grounds, I filled up the car at Sainsburys – next to Bishop Auckland’s Heritage Ground. Postponed (but at least I knew that already). As was nearby National League North side Spennymoor – postponed apparently cos Chorley’s coach company ‘couldn’t guarantee their safety’!

Carlisle City? 65 people braved whatever weather there was there to see a one goal away win. Next time.

The Damage:
Mild irritation.

The Tunes:
BBC5live

Bohemians 0-0 Viktoria Plzen, Saturday 3rd August 2019

Bohemians 0-0 Viktoria Plzen, Czech Liga, att. 6,031 (capacity, Stadion Dolicek)

Welcome to ...

My unbeaten run has come to an end, and on this, a SATURDAY.  After 8 consecutive days of football (9 matches) I can't manage a game on the one day devoted to it.  So, how comes?

Well, I'd originally planned to see 2 games in Prague (Admira and Bohemians) but my train was late, connections missed.  That put paid to Admira.  But there was still Bohemians.  I'd been before and was keen to renew acquaintances - Dolicek is a unique little stadium, hemmed in on all sides and restricted to a capacity of six thousand odd.  Besides, Bohemians also had the coolest choice of t-shirts and I wanted another one.

The Big Match.

It was sold out.  I should have known.  Limited capacity AND playing one of the Big Three.  No, not Georges Clemenceau.  Viktoria Plzen.  But still.  They NEVER sell out.  The game's on telly.  It's Satdy nite.  It's Prague - don't people have other things to do? 

I got there with about an hour and a half to kick-off, getting a tram straight there from around the corner from my hostel in the city centre.  The turnstiles hadn't even opened.  I even saw the Bohemians' coach drop the players off (no-one batted an eyelid; they're far too bohemian).  I had a beer from a pop-up kiosk (Krusovice, v. nice).  All good thus far.  Then, as the turnstiles opened, I saw the sign on the wall: 'Sold Out'.  It was a blow, but there it was.  There's worse places to be stranded than Prague on a Satdy nite.  I hopped on a tram back into town.

The Damage: 
nothing

The Tunes:
none

Staying at:
Mosaic House (£16)

Of course it is, dammit.

The away side, about 6 steps high if I got in.

Dolicek.

Bohemians' team coach arrives.

A queue starts forming outside Dolicek.

Bohemians' iconic badge.

The Main (only) Stand.

Fans start entering.

Dulwich Hamlet 0-2 Bath City, Saturday 5th January 2019

Dulwich Hamlet 0-2 Bath City, att. 3,104

I obviously can't believe Burnley v Barnsley is being streamed!

One of the advantages of non-league football is surely that you can leave the house and be in the ground 10 minutes later.  Not so at Dulwich Hamlet, as, since their return to Champion Hill, they've had sellouts.  Today looked similar, as the queue at the Sainsbury turnstile doubled back and was halfway through the park to Champion Hill (the road) itself.  So when I noticed peeps heading towards the turnstiles on the opposite side, I got my little hopes up.  Nobody knows about them, they're not usually open (well, I s'pose none of the turnstiles have been open much in the last year).  No, it was for ticketholders only. That'll teach me to have my headphones in.  Still, I bumped into James, a lapsed Liverpool fan, and his kids.  (BTW, are you 'lapsed' if you've never been in the first place? Perhaps 'armchair' would be a better description.)

The 'secret' queue

Talking of armchair, that's why I was late myself.  I'd done that thing I know loads of Arsenal/Liverpool/Man U 'fans' do...I'd found a live stream on the internet of my own team's big match: the world had demanded Burnsley (Burnley v Barnsley) in the FA Cup and the Football Association, determined to undermine the mythical 'magic' of this competition, had buckled; 12:30 kick-off for our huge south-east Asia audience.  (FYI, the Super Reds lost with a 92nd minute penalty.  With Dyche moaning about Burnley's lack of penalties in the Premiership every week, does this prove him wrong.... or add more grist to the mill? It must be much easier giving a penalty against Barnsley than, say, Arsenal)

The main turnstile queue snakes through the park.

Anyway, good luck to the Hamlet.  In adversity they've come back stronger and the community has really rallied around.  Who knows where they could end up if they consistently average 2-3000.  I know one thing - they've had more sellouts in a week than my beloved Barnsley have had in 10 years.  Still, I'm home, I'm warm...and the missus has let me hang the washing up.  It's not all bad.

Onwards and upwards!

Dulwich's problems (thanks to the Guardian)

https://www.theguardian.com/football/2018/oct/26/dulwich-hamlet-fc-champion-hill-improbable-tale-tiny-football-club-that-lost-its-home-to-developers-and-won-it-back

ps, Dulwich lost 0-2 to Bath.  It can't have helped that the manager said beforehand there's some bad eggs in the dressing room and he wants to ship half a dozen players out.  Good luck with that.

And why not visit Bar Story for cocktails later!?

Banik Ostrava 0-0 Slavia Prague, Sunday 6th August 2017

Banik Ostrava 0-0 Slavia Prague

Welcome to ...

The short story: I didn't get in.

The long story:  Well, where to start?  I arrived in Ostrava more than 3 hours before kick-off, more than enough time to find the stadium, you'd think. Of course, in this day and age, where we are so reliant on our phones (Google Maps), then it doesn't do well to have no charge/power left.  My phone failed to charge up at my hostel and failed to charge on the train.  I'm on a train now and it's failing to charge but it started charging on the same service yesterday so maybe it's the charger?  Maybe it's the phone?

Tram terminus at Ostrava railway station.

So, yes, I arrived at Ostrava without any maps and only the vague knowledge that Banik’s stadium was on a bend in the river.  (This turned out to be totally wrong too; the ‘bend’ was a road, and it was a completely different stadium I was looking at.)  Turns out the railway station is one end of town, the city centre another 2 miles down the road (I know cos I walked it) and Banik’s stadium another couple of miles after that.  I'll say this for Ostrava, it's spread out.  It's also not worth visiting - but that might be the bitterness talking.

I did tho pass an old pit wheel...

After an hour of wandering through deserted streets and a distinct lack of city centre street maps (unlike, say, Olomouc)  I saw a large bridge, presumably with river running underneath.  Knowing the stadium was next to the river, I walked up, hoping/expecting to see a set of floodlights.  None, but I did see a few people walking into the shopping centre next door, so I followed.  Best move I made all day.

Turns out there WERE some folk out and about on a Sunday, but not many.  I found a bookshop, perfect.  I looked up a map of Ostrava, found the footie stadium (wrong one!) and at least had a vague idea of where it was.  As I was leaving I passed an info point and picked up a map.  I was up and running (walking).

I eventually found some fans.

True to my memory, the stadium was near the river, so I headed that way.  I was probably 2/3 of the way there when I stopped at a bench for a welcome sit down.  Consulting the map, I had a horrible feeling the name of the stadium didn't quite resonate.  I studied it more closely.  THERE’S Banik’s stadium.  Balls.  It’s way to the other side of that damn shopping centre (The Forum).  Still, I could walk most of the way along the river.

I traipsed along the river, passing the Eiffel Tower and the Parthenon on the way (true: there was some miniature model park.  Who says Ostrava isn't worth visiting?)  Eventually, the path gave out and I had to head inwards, but no worries, I had a map now.

The Parthenon, yesterday.

Somehow, somehow, I ended up doubling back on myself.  I've no idea how.  So, another pointless mile on before I found myself back at the bridge next to the shopping centre.  Quite a few bods were waiting for a tram and it looked like the #1 would save me a fair distance, so I hopped aboard.

By now there was a passenger in a Czech national football shirt.  Perhaps I was on the right track, no pun intended.  Mind, it wasn't far off kick-off so maybe that was why the tram was relatively empty. Not wanting to be reliant on my Czech friend actually going to the game, I jumped off probably a stop early.

Finally!  A 1st view of stadium....

I walked down some characterless main road, feeling more confident.  There were half a dozen or so other latecomers and as we crossed the bridge you could see hundreds of people sweeping down the hill to our left from Ostrava’s southern suburbs. Now the worry was how long it would take to get a ticket.

Actually, I had another worry too. If it was a 6pm kick off, and the last train to Olomouc was 20:12, I would need to leave the match early. Later maths meant I'd have had to leave by 19:20, thereby missing nearly half an hour.  This is some consolation considering….

Fans gather around the stadium.

It was busy, but the queue shrank quickly and no wonder: it was sold out.  Sold out? It never sells out.  Ostrava’s is something like the 4^th or 5^th biggest in the country and there's hardly any away fans.  But opponents Slavia are the current champions and it's the first home game of the season.  I should have thought this through.  Taking the positives, I wasn't going to have to leave early and I wouldn't have to stress about making the train.  I’d also already seen one game today (SK Union Unicov).  I walked back towards the same tram stop, 15 minutes away, and caught a #1, this time it was straight to the railway station, 20 minutes.  Anyway, the match finished goalless.  Karma.

Sold out.

 The moral of the tale:

1. Do your research first.

2. Have your phone charged

3. Catch tram #1 from the station then walk.  Unless they move stadiums again.  You're not missing anything by not seeing the city centre.

Regarding stadium mix-ups: Banik used to play at the Bazaly Stadium, until 2015 (indeed, as I write this, Wikipedia still lists Bazaly as their home ground).  By then, the city’s Mestsky Stadium had been renovated, so Banik moved in there.  Capacities were similar, at about 15,000.  The Mestsky is fully covered, (cover is limited to one side at Bazaly) but has an athletics track around the pitch.  Maybe one day, Banik will return to their spiritual home.  I hope so.

The Damage:

Pride!

The Tunes:
The Suburbs (Arcade Fire)
The Immaculate Collection (Madonna)
Until The Hunter (Hope Sandovak and the Warm Inventions)
Truelove’s Gutter (Richard Hawley)

The Mestsky Stadium.

Stadium plan.

One corner of the Mestsky.