South Shields 0-2 Forest Green Rovers, Saturday 5th November 2022

South Shields 0-2 Forest Green Rovers, FA Cup 1st Round, 1st Cloud Arena (Mariner Park), att. 3,800 (c.150 away)

Cup fever has reached Mariner Park today as South Shields, in the 7th tier Northern Premier League, host Forest Green Rovers of 3rd tier League 1. Having beaten Scunthorpe in the last round, Shields have the chance of a bigger scalp and their professional status gives them every chance. I expect a close game.

The BBC are here too, the cameras forcing a midday kick-off. (The early kick-off will allow me chance to go on to Gateshead, for an FA Cup double header.) Ooh, look, there’s One Show presenter Alex Scott and that bloke from MOTD2, with the FA Cup. Wotshisname? Beard, dreads, big guy, centre half for Swansea…then Everton…isn’t he Welsh? Ashley Williams! I get there in the end. They’re on the pitch, chatting on to camera, near the clubhouse.

Should I have a beer? It’s a bit early for me (but too late for a programme). Let’s find a pew. There’s terracing on all 4 sides of the pitch for the home fans. On this side, the clubhouse side, the only terracing is a paddock in front of the old main stand. A good view, were it not for the roof supports. The yoof, meantime, populate behind the far goal, next to the away fans. Looks a bit packed, and, besides, the few steps of terrace don’t start for a couple of yards, meaning another poor view. I walk back behind the other goal, a couple of steps, but again, set back. I could stand here, behind those pinned to the fence, but I gamble.

The 4th side is a smart new stand housing exec facilities (hinting at Shields’ ambition, rather than their present level). It’s height and steepness offer great views of the pitch. Maybe I should have bought a seating ticket? Below, there’s no terracing, just a low fence and 2 yards to the touchline (if that). I head towards the away end and find a gap, big enough for one, next to a family….dad, grandma (least, I think it’s grandma) and 3 kids. What with half time burgers, I calculate this to be a £70+ day out, minimum. Wow. (I should point out, it’s cost me 60; I inadvertently bought 2 tickets online….let’s just say I had to go through the process twice and didn’t realise it’d counted my earlier ticket in the ‘basket’. And despite an email to Shields to sort out a refund, we kept missing each other. Still, they’ve a squad of professional footballers to pay…)

Parked near the away fans allowed me to listen to the ‘bantz’ between the 2 sets of fans behind the goal. ‘You’ve only come to see the Rovers’ (fair enough) segued nicely into ‘We hate Cheltenham and we hate Cheltenham’, which I’ve never heard any set of fans sing, ever. Maybe punters losing their bets at the nags, but not football. Who can hate Cheltenham? What have they ever done (apart from being down the road from Forest Green Nailsworth.) There were plenty of smiles around me for ‘Geordie Shore is s***’, probably from the same people as me who wouldn’t dream of watching such a programme. Shields’ response (amongst others) was ‘Football League, you’re having a laugh’ and some jibes about the club’s vegan stance, during quieter moments from the away end.

Still, Rovers’ support made more noise than the previous week when I’d seen them at Barnsley. I wonder if it was the same 150 who turned up both games? Either way, I wasn’t dismissing Shields’ chances. Forest Green are the worst League One team I’ve seen this season (and I’ve seen 12). Currently 2nd off bottom, they look certs to go down. Shields meantime, victims of their own success in the FA Cup, will find themselves 9th after today but with the games in hand to go top. Full-time professionalism demands they win promotion this season (as it did for the previous 2 seasons).

However, Forest Green took control in the first half and could have been 3 or 4 up. That it was one was probably due to the saves of Shields’ keeper. Former Premiership Young Gun Conor Wickham headed home easily from a devilish ball in. Second half, Forest Green had to dig in a little more, but again, chances were at a premium for the home side. Blair Adams threatened, bursting through on the left, only to drag his shot onto the near post.

With time running out and no sign of an equaliser, I headed toward the exit. Gateshead might be close (5 miles), but who knows how long it’ll take to get out of the Simonside industrial estate which surrounds the ground? On a hunch, on the way out, I climbed the main stand steps to get one last glimpse of the action. I couldn’t have timed it better, as I saw a Rover (Conor Wickham) hit a ball from nigh on the halfway line. The keeper tracked back, but I was in line with the trajectory. If the aim was right, it’s a goal. It was. If class is permanent, this is it. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a goal from the halfway line ‘live’ before. Thank goodness I stopped. The final whistle blew and I was out of there. Gateshead International Stadium, here I come!

The Damage:
£30 ent (I bought 2 tickets by mistake and between the club and I – both culpable – I never did get a refund)
= £30

The Tunes:
For Lack of a Better Name (Deadmaus)
BBC5Live (Fighting Talk)

BFC 2-0 Forest Green Rovers, Saturday 29th October 2022

‘He was wearing one of those gay armbands.’ ‘You mean a rainbow band.’

Who says Michael Duff doesn’t read what I write? A week after I question Cundy’s worth to the team….he’s out. 2 games of me saying Edwards is never a wing back…he’s moved to the right hand side of a 3 man defence. Now, if only I could rid myself of the pesky Cadden, Cole, Norwood…etc etc. To be fair to Cadden, he was much improved. Obviously, his pace hasn’t, but sometimes, just sometimes, we play some lovely one-touch football which leaves our wingbacks in time and space to pick their cross, which Cadden did very well today.

Greater than what was left out was what was back. Hurrah for the return of Jordan Williams at right wingback, following injury. He was dominant, especially 1st half. Remember when we sold Brad Potts and got an even better replacement (Jacob Brown)? It reminds me of that. Britton (Brittain? Britain?) was poor last season, and to rob Blackburn of a million plus and replace him with Jordan is a great bit of business ‘IMHO’. (Can I say ‘IMO’. Why should I be humble about being right? There, I’ve said it.) After setting up Norwood early on (offside) he chases down a long diagonal from Kitching and hooks it back for an unmarked Cole to head home.

Back to Cadden, and he plays a huge hand in the second, killer goal, playing Tadic through on the left. Tadic only has the keeper to beat, but he squares it for fellow sub…(Christ, I’ll have to look up his name now, having got it wrong midweek…the Norwich bloke…) Josh Martin to tap into an empty net. Which is cue for me to once again regale youse with my favourite ever Barnsley miss….as Dire is clean through on the right….but instead of passing square for Sheron to have an empty net…goes for goal, cannons it off the far post and they go upfield and score. (We were beating Wolves and went on to lose). Sometimes, just sometimes, it pays not to be a greedy ba5tard and do what’s right for the team. And, may I say, with his runs, his intelligence, his pointing where players need to pass the ball…I thought Tadic looked better than our usual front two. Early days, but I look forward to seeing more of him.

Otherwise, it was a question of how many we’d get. Both Cole and Norwood crashed close rangers off the keeper from Cadden crosses, while Tadic had a one-on-one saved (though the run and holding off of the defender suggested better times ahead), while Kitching had one cleared off the line. Of course, as the game went on and we weren’t taking our chances, there were rumbles of the likelihood of a smash ‘n’ grab equaliser, but their only threat came late on as a consolation was ruled out for a foul on Collins. Easy.

Onwards and upwards!

*** Jordan Williams. Welcome back.
** Kitching. Defends, attacks….gets booked for sarcastic applause. What’s not to like?
* Cadden. Got up the pitch, got the crosses in.

Official MOTM: Connell.

Londontykes’ MOTM: 1. Kitching 2= Jordan Williams / Cadden

Despatches:
I sat with Nozzer today, and was given a rundown of what makes Connell such a good player. (I’d been wondering). And it was true, he was much improved from last week, winning plenty of balls and laying off simple passes. But I defer to the yoof we overheard up the hill from Oakwell afterwards…’how the f*** did Connell get MOTM?’ At least the decision didn’t get booed, like midweek, though any standing ovation* was reserved for Jordan Williams, when he was subbed. We’ve missed him.

*what constitutes a ‘standing ovation’? I was standing, as were dozens of others, but way more fans remained seated. Does an ovation have to be a particular number? Or percentage? Or can one person standing up applauding count? Answers on a postcard, usual address.

Staying overnight, I also had the opportunity for more beers post-match. The town was mental, everyone wandering round in fancy dress for Halloween. Not being able to move for cleavage, we elected to leave new joint ‘The Old Tailor’s’ at the top of Regent Street for the basement of the Old #7 and 2 blokes shouting at each other about politics while Nozzer cringed in the middle. We know how to have fun.

Drink du jour: House Party IPA in Spiral City, Barnsley Blonde in Old #7.

Away: 189. If that.

Today’s take home: Can we play Forest Green every week?

The Damage:
c.£31 travel
= c.£31

The Tunes:
BBC5Live

Forest Green Rovers 2-0 Morecambe, Saturday 28th October 2018

Forest Green Rovers 2-0 Morecambe (att. 2,515 )

Welcome to ....

One of the advantages of Sheffield Superclub’s (Sheffield Wednesday's) ludicrous pricing policy is that one doesn’t have to pay £36 to see one’s club at their Victorian hovel in a second division fixture, one can go on a groundhop. So it is that today I’m off to Forest Green Rovers, and, even better, I’m to be joined by The Captain, fresh from the Hampshire sticks in his own bid for 92 glory. After Forest Green, I’ll have 4 more to go: Stoke, Bristol Rovers, Accrington and Bury.

The Big Match Live.

I was very pleased to see Forest Green get promoted, though it does continue a recent pattern of clubs bankrolled into the league (Crawley, Fleetwood, etc) while traditional (northern) outposts go by the wayside (Hartlepool, Darlington, Tranmere). But at least Mr Forest Green is making his money in the right way, through ‘green energy’. And another reason to visit here ASAP is before he realises his ambition of building a new 5,000 stadium entirely of wood.

A glimpse of the stadium through the housing.

Of course, a visit here is unique in many senses. Based in the village of Nailsworth, there’s no smaller place boasting of a league side. And there’s no trains to Nailsworth, so, unless you drive or come by supporters coach, you’re almost certainly coming via Stroud, about 4 miles away. With The Captain arriving an hour after me, I was able to have a good nose about. While Stroud looked a vaguely prosperous market town, it was noticeable that half the pubs had shut down. Shame. The local Oxfam had an excellent selection of books, however.

Nailsworth's clock tower resplendent in a wreath of poppies.

Once The Captain arrived, we reposed to the Wetherspoons, before wandering through town for a bus to Nailsworth, the #88 as I remember. Or was it a 63?  Despite being tempted by having a beer in one of Nailsworth’s pubs, we made the correct decision in staying on till the end, to Forest Green’s ‘New Lawn Stadium’….which is based at the top of a very large hill. Maps tend not to show you the hills you have to walk up! (OK, maybe Ordnance Survey ones do…)

A nice touch from the food stall.

We’d done our homework though and knew the stadium had a social club, and what a fine example ‘The Green Man’ is. Sizeable, a big screen showing Sky (Man U were on, for a change), local ales on tap from the Stroud Brewery and the legendary vegan ‘Q pie’. You could even see the pitch through the serving hatch. Naturally, I had to have one of these non-meaty delights and…actually, it was rather nice. Certainly better than the steak and kidney I’d eaten at Oakwell the week before. Mind, speaking to a local, it was an open secret that the players enjoyed regular forages to the local Greggs for their animal fix. This despite the programme being a virtual vegan manifesto. From what I garnered, the local vegan society has its own football team…

The Green Man

What with it being such a beautiful day, we elected to stand on the away terrace, which ran all the way down one touchline. We were Shrimpers for the day! And Morecambe had brought a decent amount, over 100. The ground itself is small, but perfectly formed, with two small covered end terraces and a cantilevered main stand opposite. If I’m to be harsh, I guess it wouldn’t put them out too much to give over some of that terraced cover to the away fans; I’m guessing the weather isn’t always perfect, even in the Cotswolds.

The view along the terrace.

It wasn’t a classic, as befits two sides struggling at the wrong end of the league, but Forest Green won through. A simple give-and-go put Marsh-Brown through to nutmeg the keeper on the half hour, before a second half inswinging free kick was destined to creep in, whether someone got a touch or not. 2-0 and comfortable victory for the home side. All that was left was a return to the Wetherspoons and a mixed grill. I wasn’t taking the p***. I just fancied one. A lovely day out in the countryside.

The TV gantry-cum-scoreboard.

The Damage:
£18 Ent (standing)
£3.80 dayrider (bus)
£25 train
£3 prog
£?? Q pie
£?? Beer x 2.
= £49.80 plus beer and food. Problies another tenner or so.

Forest Green v Morecambe panorama.

Further green/Green credentials in the social club.

The North Stand.

This fella is one scarf short of a club shop.

The South Stand.  Teenagers and a drum.

What IS that thing in the corner?  A giant compost bin?

Match action.

Of all the places...The Captain MUST stand here.

The Main Stand.