BFC 2-2 Northampton Town, Tuesday 3rd February 2026

‘Ee ent eevin bin born yet.’

In the deep midwinter...frosty and forlorn. Well, that’s how I felt tonite, sat in a cold and misty Oakwell and driving through fog and driving snow afterwards up the Pennines. So this evening’s match is sponsored by whatever Gluhwein I’m drinking as I write this, fresh in.

Same old, same old. Tonite was our season in microcosm. Played great going forwards, totally in control, scored goals...and conceded with ease. The search for a goalless draw goes on. When WAS our last one? Cos we ain’t got one this season. This evening it takes us two minutes to concede. Cleary loses it outside of our box, Shepherd is waltzed around (I’m tired of using this adjective when describing a player taking on Pontefract Collieries star export), the keeper palms it pathetically and a player comes from behind O’Keeffe to score. So, it’s only 4 players fault that goal (at least). A proper team effort, one might say.

We then amble around for 15-20 minutes, getting nowhere and the nite looking increasingly long. The atmosphere, or lack thereof, doesn’t help. We’re being taunted by 3 men and their dog in the away end and it’s all so...meh. O’Keeffe has a couple of goes at corners, one chipped to the keeper, one clearing everyone to the back post. The GOAT (replacing Connell in centre mid) hits the same 30 yard pass straight to their player, inconveniently stood inbetween the ball and the player Bland is apparently trying to find. Kelly has had a 20 yard bobbler reach the keeper. It’s not looking good, though Banks has been excellent on the right wing.

We get a free kick, left of the area. Another chance for O’Keeffe to return possession? No! Banks swings it waist-high to the front post where McG continues his fine streak in front of goal by diverting it midair past the keeper. The kind of goal that looked as if it has actually been PRACTICED. Imagine. From then to half-time we run the game. Yoganathan wins the ball on the halfway line and is somehow clean through, and even with his (lack of) pace, he jogs 40 yards and has a free shot. I blame McGoldrick, daring to run alongside Yoga for the tap-in wot never came. Vimal, completely bewildered at having a choice of one-on-one or square it, drags it wide. Poor.

Half-time sees our crew having shrunk to me, Reedy and Mrs Reedy. Where is everybody? Nozzer has cried off, despite me telling him his ST means he’s contractually obliged. Rumours abound of him sat on a nice, warm couch sipping whiskey watching the same s*** I am, but warmer. I should’ve gone round his.

No subs at half-time. There’s no-one to bring on. Leo Farrell is apparently our reserve centre forward option, post-DKD (and McGoldrick forced to slog himself into the ground during what he thought would be his years of dotage). Good job we sacked off Jalo to Oldham on loan, eh Conor?

But we DO have a supersub. Farnham called it at half-time, get Phillips on for Yoga. Or ‘Yonga’ as he calls him. He’s right an’ all. Phillips comes on and scores with his 1st touch, another midair tap-in from a cross (dunno who). 2-1. Here we go!

Except we didn’t. We looked comfortable, were the better team...but it means nowt with this defence. Was it a bird? Was it a place? Was it a corner? I think it was a corner. Or a cross after a corner. The ball is in the air 10 minutes, and our latest crap loan keeper does the same as the rest of us, watches it come down, and a couple of headers later it’s in our net. Why do we even play with a keeper? They’re allowed to use their hands aren’t they? And what’s the point of being 9 feet tall as a keeper if you’re not going to use these things to your ADVANTAGE? Can we sack this one off now. Especially as we’ve given up this season. Save a wage, and stick someone cheap and OURS in t’net. Like last season. Flavell.

There’s still 20 minutes left, but we’ve shot our load. McG hasn’t the legs to beat a player, Banks is dead on his feet and Phillips has disappeared. We are where we are. A below average 3td division team at least playing vaguely entertaining football but going nowhere fast due to defensive frailties. (Frailties!? Must be several rungs below ‘frailties’. Disabilities? Or is that ‘ableist’? Inertia? I dunno. Find me a word for our defence that doesn’t rhyme with rap or clit.)

Onwards and upwards!

*** O’Keeffe. Great link-up play with Banks, and continued high energy throughout.
** Kelly. Some excellent runs and usually finds his man too.
* Banks. Great 1st half, terrible 2nd.

Official MOTM: McGoldrick

Londontykes’ MOTM: 1. Kelly 2. McGoldrick 3. Banks

Despatches:
Goodman. Did he make a save? I’ll rephrase that. Did he make a save a one armed blind toddler wouldn’t have managed? Watson. Right back at left back, again. Solid. Later replaced by a left back at left back (Ogbeta). It’ll never catch on. Shepherd headed a couple clear, if by ‘clear’ you mean to the edge of our box, ripe for a volley, though by far his best moment was in trying to dribble round an opposition player on the edge of our box. (He failed.) I was impressed by O’Connell. It helps that he doesn’t look like he’s sh*tting himself when in possession. Very cool, though took it backwards too often in the 2nd half. Bland improved in the 2nd half, while Yonga didn’t. McG ran himself into the ground and scored. Who’ve I missed? Who was so anonymous, I can’t even remember him being out there on the pitch? Who cares? GOT IT! Cleary. Blimey, I nearly forgot our star man. As is the way with wingers, some nites it’s not your nite. The Cobblers had him in their back pocket second half, though he could do with not listening to his own hype and crossing rather than shooting sometimes.

Anyway, I still wonder if we’d have beaten Northampton way back when, instead of running scared cos a couple of Welsh under 19s couldn’t make it. Cos you know who we DID have then? DKD. Thanks BFC, thanks.

Right, I'm off for another gluhwein. Who wants one?

Drink du jour: Leffe in Bramahs.

Away: 247 (8,806). You know it’s bad when the opposition (4 defeats in 4) chant ‘we’ve scored a goal, we’ve scored a goal...’

The Damage:
c.£7 petrol
= c.£7

BFC 1-1 Northampton Town, Saturday 27th April 2024

‘Let’s all have a Disco, let’s all have a Disco.’

The King is dead. Long live The King. Or plus ca change. The more things change, the more they remain the same. We change the manager/coach, endure a disappointing draw against midtable mediocrity, and Coach Devaney tells us post match ‘in terms of the game plan, it worked.’ WORKED? Had Lincoln City or Blackpool won their games we’d have fallen out of the play-off places on the final day. WORKED? After scoring earlyish, we created FA, save for Kane delaying his cutback long enough to make it difficult for McAtee. Honestly, if there was one reason I never warmed to Collins, beyond the turgid performances, it was his ability to see a completely different game to me. Ditto Devaney.

If we were going to sack Coach Collins, don’t simply pass the chalice to one of the coaches from the same set up. Aren’t they PART of the problem? Looked like it. The team was the same, the tictacs were the same, the formation was the same, the boredom threshold crossing was remarkably similar. (I spent the game sat next to a yawning Gally.) If you want a short term boost, bring in Colin (Warnock), a manager with impeccable credentials, a Reds association, is available, and, crucially, would have jumped at the chance. Instead, we sleepwalk in to the play-offs and inevitable battering off Bolton. (I’d go 10-0-0 and try to keep the score down.)

Still, it was great for 20 minutes. The Ponty was vaguely raucous. Maybe getting rid of Collins IS enough for some people? We went ahead, a long diagonal played back beautifully to the edge of the box by Phillips, for Herbie to sidefoot home from the edge of the box. ‘Devaney has TRANSFORMED Kane’, I message in jest. Thereafter, we slowly sucked the life out of the game, and the fans. Cole had a chance, but what was he doing? Heads the ball forwards, runs onto it, and has his shot blocked. Was that the last time he touched the ball?

Otherwise, Jordan saves a certain goal 1st half, overtaking MdG and their centre forward to get the block on, while 2nd half, he runs across the backline to save us at left back. Otherwise, Northampton don’t look much. Indeed Coach Devaney must be confident, he takes off our player of the season (unannounced, btw, was that part of the ‘lap of appreciation’ cancellation?) McAtee to give Jalo a runout. We have 20 minutes of him losing the ball every time he had it. Into the last 10, it’s Cosgrove’s time for a runout, at Cole’s expense. And in a move that simply makes my BLOOD BOIL, he spurns a two on one to head to the corner flag. What made it worse was that he paused, thought about it, then decided we’d be better off wasting 4 seconds than scoring a killer 2nd. I HATE this about football, particularly when it’s BFC. What message does this send to the opposition, other than we have no intention of scoring a goal and they can commit as many men forward as possible? They do, and they score.

It is the 6th minute of a minimum 4 mins of injury time. Just desserts. The cherry on the icing on top of the cake (what cake has cherry and icing on it? None that I know….and don’t say a Bakewell Tart. That’s a tart.) If only the other results hadn’t gone our way, there could be a valuable lesson learnt here. Instead, I expect Coach Collins Devaney to spend half a day on the training pitch this week on ‘how to waste time properly’. Cos the defence, midfield and forwards have been coached all season, presumably on how to defend, set up chances, and score goals. And how’s that gone? Worse by the match. Where’s Colin when you need him?

Onwards and upwards!

*** Jordan Williams. Back to his best defensively, even if he was playing in a back 3 again. (Plus ca change!)
** No-one. I’ve had to look at the teamsheet again to try and think of anybody.
* No-one. Anybody. Did I imagine McAtee flitting about?

Official MOTM: You know, I can’t remember. I know it wasn’t Jordan Williams, who everyone else I spoke to thought it should be. Who was it? (It was Herbie Kane.)

Londontykes’ MOTM: 1. Jordan Williams 2. De Givigny 3. O’Keefe

Despatches:
Being the last league game of the season, we were promised a ‘lap of appreciation’...I went for a pint of relief. I’m not interested. The club just does my head in on the last day of the season these days. ‘Please keep off the pitch’, ‘let the players come out and do a lap of appreciation.’ Listen, bozos, running on the pitch at the end of a(nother) trying season used to be a highlight. Remember when a fan slipped, took out David Currie, then proceeded to try and rip his shirt off while he was prone? These days, BFC just want the sanitised experience of an audience at a local theatre am-dram production. ‘Well done everybody, good try’ (ripple of applause). Woe betide anybody who wants to make the end of season game anything unlike every other home game this season. Full-time whistle, I was out of there. I hear the club did their usual, take the players off, wait too long to come back on….so some (very few fans) invaded the pitch…and the club cancelled the ‘lap of appreciation’, presumably the whole while banging out messages on the PA about ‘fans leaving the pitch’, trying to guilt trip them that they’re ruining the experience for everyone else, while a few in the stands boo. The club has ruined what used to be a traditional spectacle. I’m not interested. ‘Think of the children, they want to see the players come out’. Do they? When I was a young lad (and I was one, once) I’d have much rather seen, or been part of, a pitch invasion than clap like a seal at Herbie Kane.

Oh, did I say ‘the more things change, the more they remain the same’? Collins Devaney made one last sub, sending on Cotter for O’Keefe…and a minute later they score. Our substitutions the last month have only gone one way on the pitch. However, one thing that HAS changed (from last season) is the form of Luca Connell. He was dreadful today, couldn’t even pass a square ball. Nevermind the transfer ins and outs, last summer, the one reason we’re nothing like as good as last season is because Luca Connell is nothing like as good as last season. I’m really sorry he had that illness, but it’s time to face facts: he’s never getting back to what he was. He is now just an average 3rd division player. We are now just an average 3rd division team.

Roll on Bolton...

Drink du jour: Leffe on the train, House Party IPA (lots of it) in Spiral City. Best pub visit of the season. Let’s kick-off half 12 every week!

Away: c.1,500

The Damage:
£18.50 ent (£370 season ticket / 20 games attended 23/24)
£11 train
= £11

***The player of the season palaver continued. The following Monday, it was announced Player of the Year was Adam Phillips. It is becoming standard amongst the Reds voting fraternity to ignore anything before January. It is a truth universally acknowledged that Phillips didn’t turn up until the turn of the year. Indeed, his rejuvenation coincided with Devante Cole’s disappearance. Are they the same player?

Young player of the year? Usually chosen by the manager (head coach)...but he was sacked the week before. Anyway, Aidan Marsh won it.

Players’ player of the year? Keeper Roberts, on loan from Boro. They must’ve ignored the kast 2 months, then. Maybe he’s hilarious in the changing room?