Euxton Villa 0-5 Atherton Laburnum Rovers, Tuesday 24th March 2026

Euxton Villa 0-5 Atherton Laburnum Rovers, North West Counties League Premier Division, Jim Fowler Memorial Ground, att. 181

Talk about a last minute decision. Kev and I were off to Ashton Town, till it was postponed half an hour before kick-off, as we arrived. But, knowing Euxton Villa kicked off at 8, we knew we were in plenty of time to get to the Jim Fowler Memorial Ground. And, unbeknownst to us, this game would almost certainly be on, despite the rain. They have a plastic pitch.

Mind, tonite’s game is apparently a replay of an earlier, postponed or abandoned game. Why was that called off? Medical emergency? But we’re not complaining, tonite’s entrance fee is the princely sum of three pounds, or less than the can of beer from their canteen (I hesitate to use the term ‘social club’ as it was a bit small.)

My first impression as I entered the ground (canteen to our right) behind the goal, was ‘where’s the cover for standing,’ The rain was coming down at a pace and, although I could see a couple of stands, these were seating only. We could barely see the small structure on the far right touchline, and with virtually half the crowd in here, it felt quite busy. (Note: the crowd was 181).

On the opposite touchline, there was a brand new ‘off the back of a lorry’ stand, made super smart by the seats in alternate Euxton colours of orange (amber?) and black. There was more seating the other side of the canteen, in a tiny structure with about 20 seats, and wheelchair space. But the overall impression was of a club on the up. Everything was spick and span, from the perimeter fence to the plastic pitch. A walk around the ground showed the next improvement: flat standing, the limestone underlay already in place. Sadly, thids meant no circumference. No wonder the only spectator behind the goal in the opening half was a club volunteer. Maybe their next move after that could be filling in some of the potholes in their sizeable adjacent car park? But I’m nitpicking.

As I said, the social club was small and there were no beers on tap. Cruzcampo felt the best of a bad bunch, if you’re not one to drink Guinness or Strongbow Fruit. (I’m not.) Signed Bolton and Wigan shirts adorned the wall, rather than a telly showing Sky, while even the pennants were hanging off some trophy atop a cupboard. Still, it was warm and dry, and provided welcome respite from the rain.

And it poured. A temporary lull allowed us our walk, but the second half was played in constant rain, so shout out to the Euxton photographer, there to the end on the offchance her team would produce something worth photographing. She’s a better man than I am.

The game itself turned into a rout. Laburnum Rovers (who’d brought a few, btw) scored early and always looked superior, despite spirited home resistance. A couple of goals just before half-time made it 0-3 at the break, and when Laburnum went 4 up after 47, it looked like it could be anything. Mind, 3 of the goals came from corners, including one that was tapped in on the volley from 3 yards out. Truly appalling defending. The 5th came in the 90th minute, after Euxton had made the Rovers’ box several times. Typical. But that’s why one of these teams is lower mid table, and the other is right in the play-off hunt. Maybe there’ll be time to visit Atherton yet, this season.

The Damage:
£3 ent
£4 can of Cruzcampo
£2 tea
= £9

Ramsbottom United 4-1 Barnoldswick Town, Tuesday 4th November 2025

Ramsbottom United 4-1 Barnoldswick Town, North West Counties League Premier Division, Harry Williams Riverside Stadium, att. 183

It’s raining, it’s pouring...so why not venture out to another evening of non-league footie? I give Kev 3 choices and he elects for Ramsbottom. Perhaps it’s the thought that it’s just a whizz round the M60 from Ashton. That and he’s never been. And nor, obviously, have I.

The roads are busy, possibly the weather causing folk to be cautious on the motorway. ‘Have you checked it’s on?’ Ah, no I haven’t. Cardinal error. I always check before a game, but picking up Satnav Kev, I think I’ve been lulled into a subconsciously false sense of confidence. Ramsbottom haven’t posted anything on Twitter. ‘Check Barnoldswick.’ Thankfully, they have. Game on. Which is more than can be said of another possibility tonite, Irlam. Maybe others fear it’s off. Despite 9 wins in a row, it’s the 2nd lowest crowd of the season, though as it’s the 7th home game in a month, fans probably have burnout.

We roll into Ramsbottom and I see a sign for the football club, down a one track lane. Rather than risk being led into a full car park and a dead end, we park 100 metres in a carpark. 30 odd runners across the road are ready for their weekly run and we all applaud one of them, who’s team leader for the first time on one route. Hope it went well.

The one track road is about 200 metres long, but we can see the floodlights, so it’s alright. Further confirmation of the game being on? Surely they’d not be wasting electricity at current prices. £9 in, and instant accostment for a Golden Goal ticket. I’ve swerved off for a programme though and Kev is slightly pleased with their efforts, a ticket in a small envelope. Swish.

We enter the ground, one of the first here. We have eschewed the pub on the corner by the car park for the Rammy social club. This is a mistake, as there isn’t one. Bizarrely, they have a ‘hospitality suite’, possibly the best place to watch the game in the ground, some bench seats behind plate glass, with tables for your non-existent beers. ‘The (adjacent) cricket club will be open after the game for a drink’...but what use is that to us?

As it was raining, we took shelter in the small portacabin that has essence of greasy caff. There’s 3 tables with 4 seats where no more than 2 are present. You’d have to be about 8 stone wet through and not wear a coat to fit two people side-by-side. We stand and drink our tea / Bovril. (I’ve never had Bovril. What is it? Beef extract? Watery gravy? I like beef. I like gravy. I’m northern. But Bovril simply doesn’t appeal.)

Kev eyes his watch. 7.44. I bolted out of there. I like to see the teams come out, and we join the sidelines as they disperse. On this touchline is the hospitality suite and some flat standing. We stand the other side of the halfway line, till the rain forces us behind the far goal. It is already 2-0 to the Rammies, top of the league, aiming for a 9th win in a row and keeping up their record of scoring in every game this season (25).

The early action is dominated by Kev cheering on a Rammy goal while looking at his watch. His Golden Goal time is 11 minutes and on 7:56 the home side miss a good chance. Oh well. But a minute or so later they bag and Kev, doing the maths, figures we must have kicked off after 7:45 cos the teams came out at 7:44 by his watch. So, is this goal on 11 minutes? Has he won? No P.A. announcement is forthcoming.

The stand behind the goal has some of the oddest seating I’ve ever seen, around half a dozen park benches spread around the back of a 3 step terrace. Well, if you’ve the capacity, but not the fans to fill it, why not? We join a smattering of fans, including the few from ‘Barlick’, since this is the end the visitors are kicking towards. They’ve also pulled a goal back and look threatening on the break. It’s a penalty which takes so long to take, the Rammy youth have managed to leg it from the opposite end in time to shine their phone torches in the direction of the taker. It makes no difference.

Half-time sees us complete a circumnavigation of the pitch. The long side has a couple of small stands, and crucially (for me) the toilets. No working tap, mind. Then it’s back to the opposite side, passed the cover behind this goal and the hospitality suite (containing nobody) and now can begin the (wo)manhunt for the lady who sold Kev is ticket. Accosting her politely, he asks what minute the golden goal was. ‘11 minutes.’ Unbridled joy, as Kev manages to make a profit on the evening, even if he has to join the back of the queue in the refreshment cabin before getting his grubby mitts on twenty whole pounds. Lovely. (Personally, I was disappointed it wasn’t a crate of some crap lager which he’d have to carry around with him for the rest of the game. You obviously get a better class of prize here than most Northern League venues I’ve been to.)

Now the rain has stopped, we return to our original perch to see Ramsbottom dominate and run out 4-1 winners while Kev fingers his cash constantly (probably). League leaders, but they’ve been here before, and failed. Will it be second time lucky? They look good for it, but we’re barely into November.

The Damage
£9 ent
£2 prog
=£11

FC St. Helens 2-0 FC Isle of Man, Tuesday 29th July 2025

FC St. Helens 2-0 FC Isle of Man, North West Counties League Premier Division, SMS Pro Soccer Park (Windleshaw Sports), att. 195

It’s matchday 2 of the North West Counties League and my first chance after their eastern equivalent on Satdy. I’ve done my homework and am offering Darlo Kev Prestwich Heys, Atherton LR, Irlam or Whythenshawe, all venues I’ve yet to visit. He’s easy and the family’s not home, so he’s up for slightly further afield. Let’s do FC St. Helens, I suggest. Bit further, but manageable. I put the Kevnav on and off we go.

We arrive an hour or so before kick-off. I fancy a pub rather than straight into the ground. Up here looks promising (a main road). A pedestrian starts waving frantically. It’s only a one-way street. The area around the SMS Pro Soccer Park is full of them. Thank you random pedestrian. We park up and walk to The Gerard Arms, a grand building off said main road. A fruity pale ale and an IPA for the pair of us. Good start.

Time runs away with itself though and I find myself giving some of my pint away as we’re in danger of missing kick-off. We scrabble ourselves together and get in just as the players are coming out. Seven quid in, but the programmes ‘have just sold out’. Once in, we are met with a 50 yard pathway and through what looks like a tunnel. It’s almost like we’re the players entering the field of play, but it’s just a sign proclaiming the ground’s sponsor over the roofs of two 50 seater modern stands that get delivered by lorry. It’s a far cry from St. Helens rugby league ground, but therein lies the problem for a conurbation as big as St. Helens playing virtual village teams. That and its proximity to Liverpool and Manchester.

Mind, tonite it’s international nite. Or the ‘FC derby’ as nobody calls it. FC St. Helens versus FC Isle of Man. ‘Will they bring any fans tonite?’ asks a local. Actually, they bring a few, as I counted 5 or 6 replica shirts around the perimeter. No flags tho. The ones pinned to the net (the net preventing ball loss, rather the net fixed to the goalposts) are St. Helens. We walk past these, see the players enter the pitch, then head into the social club for a drink. As ever, it’s pretty large, and probably has as many seats as the ground, as well as a pool table. Handy if the game’s rubbish, or it rains.

It’s a mild summer’s nite though. Some folk are sat at the picnic tables betwixt club and pitch while most fans are standing on this side. The attendance of 195 is about par for this division tonite, barring a couple of clubs. The pitch is also one of the bumpiest I remember seeing. Excellent. Balls rolling along the floor pop up and surprise players whose ball control is limited as it is. The islanders threaten early, but soon St. Helens take control and thereafter look the better team, helped by a 9th minute opener. It stays like this till half-time, whereby we retreat to the bar so Kev can have another beer.

Second half, we continue our walk around the boundary. There’s a tiny stand behind the goal, the only standing cover, though it’s not needed tonite. Otherwise, it’s open all the way around to the aforementioned seats, which are nearer to the corner flag than halfway line. St. Helens press on and grab a second around the 70 minute mark. Game over, but a pleasant enough start in our North West Counties League season. Just be careful with one-way streets.

The Damage:
£7 ent
£4.70 Veltins lager (x2)
= £16.40