Fulham 2-0 BFC, Saturday 14th January 2017

‘Here’s to you, Conor Hourihane
Barnsley loves you more than you will know   
A whoa whoa whoa....'

Welcome to ....

Yesterday was a was a strange day.  Having read endless missives on the Winnall saga, I was half expecting some kind of mutinous away end.  Not a bit of it.  Even as I walked through Bishops Park to the stadium, you could hear the Barnsley noise inside.  The general jist was summed up by Dave, pre-match: Winnall is dead to us.  We move on.  

Of course, it wasn’t the most auspicious of starts, without everyone’s favourite crap goalscoring centre forward.  We lost 0-2 to a side who, on second half showing (and the lesson they gave us at Oakwell) are simply a better side than us.  So it sticks in the craw that the only way for them to break us down was a decidedly iffy penalty in 1^st half injury time.  Also, how reasonable of Chris Martin to go on strike against everyone else but come back to bury us.  Equally galling was the late penalty he DIDN’T give to the Super Reds, as Armstrong ran at the defender, outpaced him, and was barged over.  The other week, Roberts was sent off for similar. This week: nothing.  And there I was, thinking refs always tried to even things up in the same match.

Martin: On strike one week, on strike the next.

Without He Must Not Be Named, there were a few changes. Ryan Williams was in. Hamill was in, Kent was out.  And with Yiadom on African Nations’ duty, there was a timely return from injury for Aidey White (who was promptly skinned early doors, twice).  Looked like a 4-4-1-1 to me, with Bradshaw leading the line.  And it was the latter who nearly bagged a second half equaliser, with a header which went wide.  ‘Winnall woulda bagged that’ I joked, as an angry bloke turned around ready for a row.  (It was diffused very quickly, when it was pointed out I had never rated Winnall..and neither had this bloke).

Fulham, you're just too nice.

Otherwise, the closest we came to a goal was when Hamill cracked a long ranger off the bar at 0-0. He ran at their defence, and was looking for the inside ball to Bree…who instead went wide, leaving Adam with no choice but to have a go himself.  (A later break by Hamill ended with a misplaced pass as Bree made the wrong run; the Hamill/Bree relationship needs working on).  But it was a promising game from the former Messiah.

The Riverside Stand.

It was a pretty open 1^st half, with both sides having a number of half chances.  They probably shaded it, but 0-0 seemed about right at half time…till THAT decision.  Second half, they ran the match, until Armstrong and Miller Kent were sent on to add some pace.  (Moncur allegedly came on too, but I wouldn’t recognise him if he came up and tw*tted me in the face).  Unfortunately, we were two down by then, undone by an excellent cross to the back post and a measured volley across the keeper and into the far corner.  Superb technique.  But what was he doing there unmarked?  (Scoring.  I’m answering my own question.)

...and the historically listed Stevenage Road Stand.

Let’s be honest, it was pretty one-way traffic 2^nd half and Davies kept us in it.  He gets plenty of practice these days, like a coconut shy at Penistone Fair.  (Do they have a fair?  Probably.  It strikes me as the kind of place.)  We were well beaten and I stand by Fulham being one of the two best sides I’ve seen this season, along with Reading.  All that was left was another ovation for Captain Supreme, Conor Hourihane, who, by the cursory clap and then gaze at his shoelaces looks like he's played his last game for us.  (Possibly) goodbye - and good luck.

Still, what I like about Fulham – you can get beaten and still enjoy your day. 

Obligatory shot of the cottage...

*** Davies.  Kept us in it 2^nd half with some excellent saves. 
** Hamill.  Looked keen. A pity he doesn’t have telepathic understanding with Bree (yet).
* Armstrong.  Came on and created (relative) havoc.

Londontykes' Top 3:
1. Davies
2. Williams
3. Hamill

Despatches:Some top drinking at the Sloany Pony in Parsons Green.  Unpasteurised Pilsner Urquell on tap and a pile of Londontykes to converse with.  And Alison Loko telling me about Little Loko’s latest betting faux pas:  stick a oner (?) on the Reds to win at Blackpool while at the game…think it’s not gone through cos of dodgy internet reception, so stick another 100 on….lose £200.  I’m telling you, you don’t get GIVEN a nickname like ‘Loko’ (Loco), you EARN it.  Ben – you were missed last Satdy!  (In other Loko news, he’s missing his favourite team Leeds play us next week.  I can’t remember if I've seen the photo of him in his first Leeds kit…but it’s somewhere).  Oh, and I had my 1st ever s*** in a football ground that I can remember.  It was near the end of half time, the urge just engulfed me.  Thankfully, the seat was still warm from the last chap!

Relief doesn't cover it.

  
Onwards and upwards! 

Drink du jour: Unfiltered Pilsner Urquell pre-match, Asahi in Mabels after, as we revelled in Harrow and Salisbury’s company all the way to Kings Cross. A great day for drinking and (for us Londontykes) not travelling.

Away: 1800.  Where did they all come from? Great atmosphere, especially 1^st half.

The Damage:20 ent

I'd have considered a programme, but why should I pay £3.50 when everyone else charges 3 quid?

The Tunes:Biggest Bluest Hi-Fi (Camera Obscura)

Craven Cottage panorama

Where else but the walk to Fulham?

Looking towards the Hammersmith End.

Look at the size of their gantry.

'Here's to you, Conor Hourihane...'

Craven Cottage at dusk.

Oh well.

Fulham 1-0 Bolton Wanderers, Saturday 7th May 2016

Fulham 1-0 Bolton Wanderers, Championship, att. 17,207

Welcome to .....

Final game of the season and where better to finish than underachieving Fulham versus relegated Bolton?  For me, as a Barnsley fan, it was a scouting mission for whichever division we'd be in next season - the Championship or League 1.  Plus, on a stunning day, a chance to enjoy a scenic cycle to the game, much of it along the Thames.  I have thus decided football should be a summer sport.  I rather like being able to wear shorts and t-shirt while idling watching some 'athletes' (I use the term loosely) run about.

Tha' she blows!  

Mind, despite the idyllic nature of a trip to Craven Cottage (surely the most pleasureable of the capital's grounds to visit) it wasn't my idea.  A mate suggested it...after all, there'd be no more (league) football for 3 months.  So it was that I joined an Ipswich fan and a Darlington fan to watch a stress-free game without anything riding in it for us.  Basically, we didn't give a s***.

Pre-match on Stevenage Road

And good job too, where an outrageously-priced round at the Crabtree pub (nice pub garden though, as we basked) was followed by even more outrageous entry prices: £30 to pay on the day in the 'mixed area' Putney End.  Jesus, I think I'm still recovering.  30 quid, for a bottom end of the second division game with nothing on it.  We are fools.  (I even looked up the price the day before; £25.  I presumed Fulham wouldn't possibly increase it by any more on the day.  How wrong I was.)

Cheer now - there may not be chance later.

However, can you put a price on seeing the legendary Emile Heskey for (surely) one last time on a football pitch?  Yes, we didn't realise he was still going.  'He must be older than you' said my mate (who's only about 4 months younger than me, cheeky tw*t).  And when Heskey's effort was the only one which even came close for Bolton (by 'close' I mean over the bar) then it's no wonder the Trotters are wandering into the 3rd tier.  Their one redeeming feature was their fans, who maybe numbered 1500 and sang non-stop.  It must be some season when you chant 'Let's pretend we've scored a goal' before everyone goes nuts.  It's been that kind of season for them.

The cottage; under repair.

The match was generally poor, though Fulham went close several times.  Only Bolton keeper Amos kept them in the game, making some super saves as he dived around trying to rescue his ailing defence.  (Maybe they, like us, couldn't give a s***.  Probably off in the summer.)  And just as we'd settled for nil-nil - surely our punishment for being stupid enough to pay £30 to see this shambles - Fulham's Cairney popped up on the right, cut inside and drove a left footer into the far corner.  A great finish, entirely not in keeping with the game.

Match panorama

Then it was back to the pub and another pint.  And a Bolton fan wishing my team luck the next day at Wigan.  'Hope you beat the tw*ts.  They're our biggest rivals.'  How times have changed at Burnden Park the Reebok...well, whatever it's called these days.

The Damage:
£30 entry
£3.50 programme (even the programmes are more expensive than I'm used to)

Bicycles must be pushed...cars driven.  A posh riverside estate.

Craven Cottage from across the Thames.

The Hammersmith End.

'Still believe.'  The Grade II listed Stevenage Road Stand (as was).

Looking towards the Hammersmith End.

Those Bolton fans.

The Cottage under repair.

Back of the Stevenage Road Stand (on my way home, hence empty!)

Guest report - Fulham 1 - 0 Norwich, Saturday 18 October 2014

For some reason Geordie Al passed on the opportunity to see the mighty Canaries trip to west London with me. 

A glimpse of the Cottage

It seemed like a popular choice of away trip, we spotted many Canary colours as we walked from Putney train station over the bridge. It was the 4th pub we tried that had enough space for us to find somewhere to stand - the other three had a good smattering of yellow shirts.  

The walk to the ground through a park was a pleasant change from some walks to other grounds. Fulham had pyro dogs sniffing around the turnstiles, but didn't bother to search my bag which meant I held on to my bottle of water, good job too as the concourse was packed at half time. 

Where's the end of the queue?

I didn't hold out much hope for a win after reading the stats in the programme, with Norwich not having beaten Fulham since the 80s but with an average of 2 goals to Fulham and 1 to Norwich at least there would be action. 

Neither team looked in top form from the outset. I think there were more throw ins from misplaced passes than I've seen in any match before (and I've seen a lot of Barnsley matches). Even when they got a throw in Norwich managed two foul throws. I hope Adams has called them all into training today to do throw in practice. 

Norwich had a good first 10 minutes, but then Fulham started playing a bit and they somehow managed to manoeuvre into the penalty box and have a shot on goal, which went in. 

The Canaries were sent out early from half time and were much brighter in the second half, winning a slightly dodgy penalty just a few minutes into the half. It hit the crossbar. 

Penalty miss

The misplaced pass issue continued and it became increasingly obvious Bradley Johnson was having a nightmare. It seemed everyone could see it apart from the manager because Johnson stayed on the pitch to the very end. Hooperman was sent on towards the end of the half but it didn't feel like he did much except get in Cameron Jerome's way for a chance. 

There was a shot that hit the bar at one point but even though Norwich were pressurising it just didn't feel like they would score a goal. Why? Fulham's centre back number 33, Burn, just seemed to be on the end of everything. 

Afterwards me and the 3 OAPs I had in tow headed back to the pub to get a sit down. Why do away fans think it is big and clever to stand up for the whole match? I've paid for a SEAT.
 

We rounded off the day trip with some food at my local Italian. My pizza was probably the best bit of the whole day.