BFC 0-3 Ipswich Town, Tuesday 25th April 2023

‘Spackmoid!!??’

Well, that was an interesting experiment on what we’d look like against a decent team without Connell playing. Say we get promotion, and sell him, is that what a home game looks like next season? I dunno. Pre-match, I stuck up for Russell as the pub gave out a collective groan upon hearing the line-up. Where’s Luca? (Illness?) For me, Russell looks a class act. And as Tuesday showed, shame he can’t run. Was it Darrell likened him to Tom Huddlestone (and not in a complimentary way)? Former England international, I added. Of course he was….played a few games for Spurs, didn’t he?

Russell’s sole contribution…and I enjoyed it, actually….was ‘racing’ back to cover after Cadden got the ball stuck under his feet and lost it. Their bloke jogged 40 yards with the ball before Russell finally almost caught up and scythed him down in our half for a booking. Honestly, it had to be done. Otherwise, I’d be likening him to Jacob BF Mellis, in that he’s obviously got skill, but doesn’t move. I think most of this is down to manager’s orders. However, there is no doubt he lacks the bite of Connell, and is incapable of bringing the ball forward. I’d say he’s a bigger version of Mitch Ward, master of the 6 yard square pass.

This is not to do down Ipswich. They are far and away the best side I’ve seen us play this season. Even when it was goalless, they looked the more likely. Such a shame then that on the cusp of half-time (and a talking to from Duff) we find time to concede not one, but two, poor goals. A corner is flicked home at the near post. How can their player POSSIBLY be unmarked? Oh, he’s Russell’s man. The look of bewilderment on the latter’s face is not a joy to behold. ‘What’s this? My man is allowed to MOVE? No-one told me that.’ On a serious note, losing a player late on affects your defensive set-up on deadballs. But it’s still criminal defending.

Then, a minute later, Mads gets into a tussle with George Hirst, son of former Red, David. The ghost of Bolton home must loomed large as Mads, no doubt scared he’ll get another sending off, allows Hirst to run on before rifling it in from 20 yards. Dad would be proud of that power. 2-0 down, the second half is a formality. The ref finds them a penalty (saved; the one bit of cheer we got) but as Ipswich start showboating, a chip over our defence has us in all kinds of trouble. Isted saves the initial toepoke before former Red Conor Chaplin completes the rout, controlling and lobbing the ball over our stranded keeper. ‘Norwich City, we’re coming for you’ rings out as Oakwell empties with ten minutes to go.

Onwards and upwards!

*** Bobby Thomas. All of these are based purely on the first half. Thomas returned to form with good defending and confident distribution.
** Kitching. The one player to run with the ball. Our left sided centre half.
* Phillips. As well as actually trying to score (he had half our first half shots) he tracked back well.

Official MOTM: Isted.

Londontykes’ MOTM: 1= Kane / Kitching 3. Bobby Thomas

Despatches:
In a must-win game, our attempts at goal were as follows (and if I’ve missed any, I was having a p***):
1. Phillips breaks from midfield and we’ve numbers in attack. With more space in front of him, he elects to drag one wide from 30 yards. This is the typical panicked shot of a team who think they’re up against a superior side. Shoot early and hope for the best.
2. Phillips again. 20 yard shot from edge of box, deflected softly into keeper’s hands.
3. A Norwood 20 yard left foot bobbler eventually reaches the keeper. Tomorrow.
4. 2nd half, Cole turns and shoots inside the box…high and wide. Rubbish.
5. Watters turns and hits one while wide left in the box. Excellent strike, but easily saved as the angle was against him.

And that was it. In a game we had to win. True, there were promising first half performances (I’d add Jordan Williams and Kane) but it’s summed up when the keeper gets MOTM for a penalty save. Did he stop any others? None that weren’t routine. Meantime, they hit 3 and had had another effort smash the bar, 1st half.

To end, we need to not let this bother us (Ipswich are, after all, going up automatic). Presumably Connell is back next game, we end well, and prepare for the play-offs, where we absolutely have to improve away from Oakwell, or we’re out. And with Bolton surprisingly losing at home to Accrington tonite, our opponents could still be any of Wanderers, (Not Wayne Rooney’s) Derby County, or Posh. I vote losing at home to Posh on the last day so we can do them in the play-offs!

Drink du jour: Jaipur in Heaven and Ale with Wolfie. He’s a beauty!

Away: 4,855. Fantastic, midweek and all. Mind, they were louder pre-match than actually during it.

Today’s take home: Without Connell in midfield, we are nothing.

The Damage:
c. £30 petrol
= £30

BFC 1-1 Ipswich Town, Saturday 11th March 2016

‘If I wasn’t happy at home I’d happily fire into THAT’

Wrighty models the world's oldest Ipswich Town hat.

One for Andy Jones this week, as his annual ‘jolly boys outing’ has his Ipshit mates (and Izy) visit the Temple for what promises to be a feast of football.  Nil-nil I predicted, and I wasn’t far off.  It was dire.  Another week, another turgid home performance.  It’s getting tiresome now.  In fact, so tiresome that I went to the toilet 1^st half, as an excuse to stay awake (seriously).  90 minutes at home to midtable mediocrity and all I remember us having is 2 attacks.  OK, so Marley scored from one, and a great finish it was too.  And since we (allegedly) turned down a million from Ipswich last summer for him, I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s at Oakwell next season playing FOR them.  Only Marley, with his lack of pace yet strength, could shrug off 2 players, run 30 yards and hit an early snapshot which fooled the keeper.  All the while playing right midfield.  Again.

The teams come out.

Our other attack?  A smart move at 1-0 leaves Hamill clean through on the left and he telegraphs a sidefooter to the keeper’s left.  Easy save.  And that was it, unless you stayed till the very end in the hope of seeing some action and caught their equaliser, the last kick of the match.  Decent break, and the ball was whipped to the far post for a tap-in.  I’d say they deserved it; but it was more that neither side deserved to win.  3 home wins since August.  That’s about 1 every 2 months.  (Mind, when was the last time we had more home wins than defeats in the 2nd tier?)

The Tractor Boys

For a second time recently, there was more action on the train.  Dirty Leeds were in our seats and with ‘reservations cancelled’ I thought ‘f*** it, I’m going in 1^st class’.  The Captain told the ticket woman of our plans and she promised to turf them out.  She didn’t.  She called her boss, reservations were indeed cancelled…and we could go and sit in 1^st class.  All she did was eat into (drink into?) 15 minutes of our drinking time.  As it was, we no longer had 2 tables across from each other (what’s the point of booking???) and were spread out.  Still, I enjoyed a leisurely red wine with The Captain, Nice Guy Chris and a QPR fan coming back from L**ds.  

Match action, Grove Street Junior School no more.

*** James.  A class above anything else.  Reads the game superbly, buys himself time on the ball and even set up our goal.  Shame he’s not ours.  Twitter MOTM. 
** Marley Watkins, baby.  Quality finish totally out of keeping with this match.
* No-one.  Was anybody else playing? 

Londontykes' MOTM: 1. James  2. Hamill  3. Roberts

Despatches:
I was so bored I’ve nowt to say.

Actually, I will say summat.  I’ve heard a lot lately on what we should do with the number of loanees we have.  Obviously, regular viewers have become somewhat exasperated with the picking of Kent (especially over Hamill) while ‘flatters to deceive’ will also be Armstrong’s epitaph.  But at least they’re occasionally worthy of a place, unlike Elder.  But then we come to Matty James, who’s been far and away our best player of the last 2 months of slow decline.  What to do?  No idea.  I’d prefer us to develop our own, but if they’re not good enough, what’s the alternative?  I’ve already seen Hecky’s arguments about it allowing us to get better players without paying full whack, but are some of them REALLY better than what we have?
Onwards and upwards! 

The old Main Stand.

Drink du jour: Brooklyn in the Arcade, Erdinger in #7, red wine on train (no Reedy to share the vodka with).
Away: 742
The Damage:27.40 train
The Tunes:Uh Huh Huh (PJ Harvey)Trans-Europe Express (Kraftwerk)Mixmag Sept 2010 (DJ Kutski and Alex Kidd)

Reds v Ipswich panorama

The Ponty v Ipswich

A closer up of the Ponty v Ipswich

The demolition of Grove Street primary.  Criminal.

Barnsley 2-2 Ipswich Town, Saturday 8th February 2014

‘I quite like beach volleyball’

2 points lost or one point gained?  Well, it’s another nail in our relegation coffin for me, despite the fact Ipshit (are you reading this, Wrighty?) failed to win despite having countless chances to score, 2^nd half.  Facts being facts though, we looked another gift horse in the mouth…and it threw up all over us.  If there was a surprise, it wasn’t the chucking away of a two-nil lead with 15 mins to go, no, it was the two-nil lead in the first place.  

The Tractor Boys

Half time, we limped in one-nil.  An absolutely AWFUL half of football settled by O’Grady’s classy early effort: nothing on, no-one to help him, back to goal, he turned onto his left (only) foot and found the far corner in slow motion.  The keeper stood and stared, but, really, do these teams not do their homework?  Just like Bruce Dire only had the one move, this was the only way O’Grady would get a shot off.  Still, took it well.

Then, for 35 minutes we watched as neither side put together more than two passes at a time.  It was like my old Sunday morning side – two touch football. One to control it, the other to hoof it down the pitch.  (We had an excuse: we were terrible).  Ok, it was windy.  And looking at the corner flags, often the wind went in 4 different directions.  But looking at the way our hoofs would consistently find their keeper or touch, the wind was mainly in the direction of their net.  But a thought struck me: isn’t football an OUTDOOR sport?  Do our players not practice in the wind?  Cos every time it’s windy, our players, quite frankly, do not have a CLUE.  The wind can swirl at Oakwell – which surely should be to OUR advantage cos don’t we play there more often than Ipswich, et al?

Anyway, Ipswich came out second half and started playing this thing called FOOTBALL.  They’d come up with a cunning idea (the ba5tards) to alleviate the effects of the wind: they’d keep the ball on the floor, move around and pass the ball between each other.  I hate it when teams do that.  We were on the backfoot from the off, with their bloke clearing the bar from 10 yards (after Steele palmed the ball to his feet) and then Steele making a double save while the defence stared.  Mind, for once we did do well with 2 or 3 clearances on the backpost as Ipswich poured forward.  Really, it was only a matter of time before there was a goal.  And it came – to us!

O’Grady wrestled his way past a defender before falling over.  The ref gave a generous free kick (don’t worry, this will even itself out) and Cywka rifled it into the far corner, via a deflection.  (Special mention to the backroom staff for remembering to put his name on the teamsheet this week).  It was the proverbial ‘inspirational substitution’ (except everyone was calling for the inept Shea to be taken off).  We’d robbed them!  Like, totally excellent, dude!!!  We’d see this one out.  Even we wouldn’t throw away 2-0.  Oh.

Within 10 minutes it’s twos apiece and we’re hanging on for a point.  O’Brien gifts a second goal in two games, his inability on the line teeing it up for their bod to hook into an empty net.  Mind, I don’t know where the rest of the red shirted brigade were, cos there was no-one near the blue bloke.  Then, with the ref desperately trying to even out the earlier soft free kick, he gives them one too.  Note to refs: just cos a bloke falls on the floor, it doesn’t make it an automatic free kick.  The ball is tapped wide for McGoldrick to hammer it into the roof of the net, via another deflection.  Inevitable.

Thankfully, there was still 10 mins left.  I say thankfully, cos at least it gave the team some time to show they actually had some spine, and while we didn’t really come close, we comfortably held out.  All in all, a good point against a side head and shoulders above us.

*** Jennings.  Sponsors MOTM.  What a turnaround.  Couldn’t do anything right earlier in the season, goes on loan, comes back a different player.  If only it was that easy all the time.  Ran at their players, good in possession, found his own players with the pass, chased back and was in the right place at the right time in defence on more than one occasion.  Excellent all-round display.

** O’Grady.  The usual, plus goal.

* Crainie.  Crucial interceptions plus doesn’t get carried away when bringing the ball out.  A couple of time he coulda got excited and blazed a 30 yarder at their goal, but he realises his limitations and elected to pass it wide.

Gets dark early in Barnsley, in February.

Despatches:
One for the Supporters Trust to consider, this one.  I saw a brilliant idea on Satdy for improving the atmosphere at Oakwell – try and chuck a fan out.  (What’s Selwood’s seat number?)  While winning in front of the usual silence, (the silence being usual, not the winning), the stewards were trying to evict a fan in the top left of the Ponty.  For 5 mins this was better than the match.  The fans were chanting about sitting where they wanted (it was packed high up – I think fans had moved up there out of the torrential rain) and 4 stewards went in to evict.  As the fan they were after eventually decided to acquiesce and leave, he walked down the aisle as fans jostled the stewards.  But would he exit?  No, the cheeky scamp walked past the exit and appeared to melt into the crowd as the stewards were pushed about, one falling over, before wisely beating a retreat.  I’m sure Dr. Newby would be telling us this would be the cue in Red China for the soldiers to make their entrance.  Anyway, got the fans going.  Let’s have some more of that!

As for the players, Shea was truly terrible, the bloke next to me reckoning he’d mistaken the sport we were playing for American football, such was the number of times he dived into their players.  Wisely dragged off at HT.  Hunt looked very promising at right back.  Does that mean we have TWO promising right backs on loan…while Kennedy cements his place wide left?  Hunt delighted the crowd with a backheeled cross that no-one else on our team would’ve thought of in a similar position.  Which is why he’s not our player.  I thought Dawson and O’Brien did a decent enough job in midfield.  Shame then that O’Brien once again found himself at right back as Hunt got lamed by their bloke.  Would he have been on the line for that corner were Hunt still on the pitch? It’s the tiny things wot make the biggest differences.  Cywka looked too keen to do well, so consequently didn’t (apart from the goal) and to the numpties who say we needed someone like Mellis on, someone who could keep possession in the middle: had he played, we’d never have been winning 2-0.  FACT, fact fans.  Prosewich (sp?) didn't do much either.  We've already got one lumbering strongman with no pace up front.  I'd have thought two was greedy.

The journey back was amusing, Slacki and Phil having their dream foursome: sharing a table with a couple of feminists returning from a conference.  Slacki in particular was doing his best to sound quite the model ‘new man’.  Though in discussing the appeal of watching female sport, while Slacki went for the ladies Ashes, Phil’s eyes glazed over and he couldn’t help tell all how much he likes beach volleyball.  Nice one, Phil.

And I cannot let this report leave without mention of Salisbury’s abominable haircut.  Really, it’s worth an e-mail thread of its own.  Altogether now….’ONE TWO THREE FOUR, UNITED STATES MARINE CORPS!!!!’

Sadly, we didn’t have the company of Jonesy this week, since he’d come up with his Ipswich mates, who all decided to come dressed as Man U fans, all in black.  They’d have looked quite the menacing types too, were they not all completely wan*ered even before kick off.  Oh, and one looking uncannily like James Corden.   

Onwards and upwards!

A

Away: 817

The final score is in...

Barnsley 1-1 Ipswich Town, Saturday 29th September 2012

Decent game and we dominated the 2^nd half, yet we problies didn’t quite do enough to win. A point earned, I’d say, rather than 2 points lost against a side 2^nd off bottom and out of form.  We didn’t miss that many chances, cos we didn’t create many.  We had plenty of the ball in their box, but it pinged around to anyone but our own players.  And Ipswich were a cynical bunch, full of professional fouls and timewasting.  Mellis in particular was targeted.  Needless to say, the ref didn’t help.  Those with a better memory than me had already commented how ‘Trevor Bloody Kettle’ never gives us anything.  2 decisions summed it up:  Their goal was never a free kick in the 1^st place, whilst he couldn’t wait to disallow Foster’s ‘goal’ for a foul on the keeper.  The good thing about being a cynic is that it saved me getting off my chair when Foster bagged.  I just knew the ref would call a foul, they always do.  Having seen it on TV, Foster certainly makes contact with the keeper, but no more than he would do against an outfield player without a foul being given.  Going down like a sack of s*** always  helps.

*** Dawson.  Official MotM.  He was everywhere, and of course, hit a superb equaliser.   Grabbed the game by the scruff of the neck as it looked like nothing would go our way.  Whilst it’s early days and a little harsh on Dawson to compare him to Redfearn, the guy behind me hit the nail on the head – ‘He’s a better Gary Jones’.

** Wiseman.  Thought he controlled the centre of defence.

* Cranie.  Not sure he’s the ‘Rolls-Royce’ that Hill describes, but he’s tidy and keeps things ticking.

Despatches:

- Mellis.  Excellent 1^st half, faded 2^nd.

- Dagnall.  Another super game.  Will he ever score tho? (No).  Today he hit the post from an acute angle.  Shame no-one followed up!

- Stones.  Came on and arguably changed the game.  Upped the tempo of our attacks, neat one-twos and effortlessly beat players.

- Alnwick.  Didn’t I say t’other week he makes it exciting?  How he failed to save that shot…well, it didn’t surprise me at all, to be honest.  Excellent use of brass neck by getting up and screaming at the defence for his f*** up.  Later on made a tremendous save from a header.  Also, made 2 of the best passes of the game, to our right.  Get him in midfield!

The train journey:
As Andy said, interesting.  After our train was cancelled, we managed to get on the next one an hour later where we had the ‘pleasure’ of one of Millwall’s top boys and his gaggle of apprentices. Whilst there was an air of menace from him, at least the coppers were only 2 punches and a knifing away in the vestibule.  (Andy) you were right telling the Hudds fan he shouldn’t have ‘had words’ with said hooliefan, as he did happen to mention how close Hudds boy had been to a kicking.  I must have had 3 too many vodkas cos I lectured him on how that would hardly be fair, given there were about 8 of them and only of one of him.  Anyway, if you meet a Millwall fan with a Cornish accent and looking like a pirate, that’ll be him.