Bristol City 2-2 Barnsley, Saturday 28th March 2015

‘Gi’ us 3 points, tha dunt need ‘em’

Welcome to Ashton Gate

I love Bristol. Good pubs (when they’re open – ie, not before midday), pleasant city centre, the deep gorge of the river, Clifton.  Honestly, I’d almost consider living there.  Lucky them, I’m not budging.

On my tod, I decided against paying British Rail’s exorbitant fees and instead travelled in style – the Megabus. Still, Victoria’s easier to get to than Paddington.  As I kept reminding myself for the two and three quarter hours I was crushed up while trying to do some work.  I must get myself some standards.

'This way, sir'.

Met Phil 11ish.  Time for a pint.  Or time to look for a pint as I tried 5 or 6 pub doors.  Of course, when I let Phil try one, it magically opened.  Mind, we had diverted just outside the centre, close enough that we headed to Temple Meads for a taxi, which we timed just nice. A huge queue developed just after we got there, including none other than Reds director and FA bigwig Barry Taylor (and daughter?), resplendent in his FA badged suitcase.  ‘Wanna lift Bazza?’ we never asked.  (I’m still f.angry at the Colchester home debacle, a home game switched to Friday nite to allow folk to watch England on the Satdy.  Which folk, I wonder?)  Anyway, he saw Phil staring at him and quickly hid his BFC tie and tried to look nonchalant.  Who was it in the Bible denied Jesus 3 times?  Anyway, that’s who it reminded me of. (Peter?)

So, off to the Tobacco Factory where we met a newly driven in Selwood.  The rest you know: nice ales, quality food, friendly atmosphere.  Shame they’re getting promoted.  Still, to assuage ourselves, their fanzine has tipped us to win the play-offs. Which is generous of ‘em.

Naturally, when you have an away sellout, ‘you can sit where you like’.  Luckily, we find 3 together – only Phil’s disappeared. Hicksy turns up out of nowhere though and later bans me for saying anything unless asked a question.  I get round this by answering a different question to what he’s asked.  ‘What do you think of Scowen today?’  ‘I notice we look a lot more mobile up front without…err…whatshisname?’

M’Voto is back.  A fact few fail to realise as he steamrollers in late to give a needless early penalty away.  Sometimes, just sometimes, you have to be aware of your lack of speed and hold back, lad.  Pen is despatched.  The new keeper has yet to even show himself.

Finally!  The old away end (old old home end) is being replaced.

Then, little happens for the half.  We imagine league leaders City will press on and cane us, but it never happens. Then, the ball bobbles around their box and Jabo hits a snapshot. One-all.  You beauty.  I am forbidden to utter the ‘W’ name (Waring, dropped for Jabo), though Dave lets me cuddle him and THAT coat as we dance, sorry, jump around in the aisle. 

Second half – WOW.  For 25 minutes it is the best we’ve played all season.  We absolutely murder them, tearing forward at pace, switching play from wing to wing, they can barely get hold of it. Early doors we have 4 successive corners (George woulda bagged a hattrick!) but there’s no worry, we’ll score.  Then Jabo breaks free wide left, plays in Scowen who finishes as cool as you like.  What's going on?

A blustery day for the flags

Of course, you can’t rip into the league leaders away from home without them making an appearance at some point, and so it is.  Wildsmith makes a couple of great saves before finally succumbing with 10 mins left.  Could he have done better with it? Not sure, but it came through a few players. 

Overall, a decent result. If only we’d played against everyone as we’ve done against the champions-elect (home and away).  I can cede that we’re not in Swindon or Franchise’s class, but howthehell are Bristol 11 points clear???  

City's disabled 'stand' (and test railseats behind)

*** Ben Pearson of Manchester United.  He’s the clock which makes our team tick.  Makes tackles and interceptions and always makes time on the ball to pass to his own teammates.

** Jabo Ibehre of Colchester United.  His movement up front allowed us to attack with pace.  Imagine.  Scored a snap shot and set up the other. Imagine.

* Josh Scowen of Barnsley FC.  Ground himself into the ground with another full-blooded performance.  And his family were sat in our row (according to Hicksy, who appears to be on talking terms with granddad).  Great finish for his goal.

Londontykes top 3:
1. Ibehre
2. Pearson
3. Scowen

Despatches:
M’Voto came in for Holgate (Crainie switching to right back) and was solid apart from the pen.  Mind, a throughball completely did Crainie and Jean-Yves 2^nd half.  Thank goodness for Wildsmith in goal.  I can’t say we missed Davies, which is saying something.  Smith played well on the left (why’ve we signed that Cardiff bloke?) while the new winger (Stewart?) was anonymous. New midfielder Winnall was everywhere, including helping out in defence. He’ll never score from our own penalty area though.  Hourihane was playing.  Apparently. I guess he got lost in the pace of it all.

The old away end.  Not sadly missed.

Drink du jour: Started on ye olde cider, before discovering the Tobacco Factory had a wheat beer, brewed down the road.  Got a lift back with Dave. Never thought to get a 4-pack in to drink while he drove.  He wouldn’t have minded…would he?

Away: 510 (capacity!)   City are rebuilding the old away end, so the capacity’s a bit limited.  But I can tell you that the view and seats are a lot better at the other end, from the sh*thole that we used to be given, backless (bucket?) seats and all. 

The Damage:
15 Megabus
4 taxi to ground (my share)
20 ent
1.20 fanzine
3 prog

The tunes:
Tomorrow’s Harvest (Boards of Canada)
Geodaddi (Boards of Canada)

I had work to do, needed some ambient nonsense.

Nice to see a busy stand

And all that I knew was, that a hole in my shoe stand was ....

For years I've never known the time in the away end.  Now I know why.

Bristol City 5-3 Barnsley, Saturday 23rd February 2013

The Camberwell verdict is in. 

‘That was the sh*ttest 5-3 I’ve ever seen.’

My god.  What a horror show.  8 wins in 9 and we concede 5 to a side at the bottom of the league. Only Barnsley.

Like the Wolves game, we looked disjointed without a left wing back.  Flitcroft played Kennedy left back, again, and gave the disaster that is Jim McNulty a run out.  (His career must feel like Groundhog Day.  Doing well at Brighton, he gets injured and finds himself surplus to requirements upon his return, and so it is here.  He’s been awful ALL season.)  Oh, and with Delap somewhere out right and with Crainie and Foster in the middle, and Wiseman on the bench, I make Bobby Hassell approximately 8^th choice to get a game in our defence.  A defence which let in 5 against rock bottom Bristol City.

It was an odd game.  1^st 10 mins, they ran riot down our left, then we got to grips and pretty much ran the match.  I can forgive the 1^st goal – their bloke clearly climbs all over our defender, before Stead headed home.  The ref blew his whistle, pointed to the penalty area…I wondered why the Bristol fans were still cheering, he’d obviously disallowed it.  But he hadn’t.  The start of a very bad day.

Thereafter, the game reminded me of a school match (our championship-winning year, natch) I remember from yesteryear.  We were playing our big rivals away and the star striker missed a couple of early chances.  They then scored with every shot they had (6) before said star striker bagged a couple late on before blaming everyone else for our defeat.  Well, BFC on Satdy missed early chances, they started bagging, then after the game was lost, started scoring.  And so it was, that if you ignore Bristol’s 1^st four goals, we won 3-1 and looked like we’d score every time we touched the ball.

At 4-0, Hicksy and Loko had seen enough, but before they even got out of the ground, we’d pulled one back.  It was amusing to see their about-turn back into the stands (‘we can see you sneaking IN!’)  The goal itself was a scrappy effort, the ball being cleared from behind the line before an onrushing Tunnicliffe (I think) putting it in.  I see the goal has since been given to O’Grady, so presumably it was he who knocked it over the line in the 1^st place, though I swear the linesman hadn’t given it, so without the 2^nd effort, I don’t think it woulda stood.

2^nd goal was a great finish by Polish Tom, burying it for the edge of the box as he ran in, and the 3^rd was another low finish from the edge of the box from the outstanding Scotland.  HE’LL be playing in this division next season, even if we’re not.

Unfortunately, time and space preclude the description of Bristol’s other goals, beyond that they were ALL THE SAME.  A dead ball is hoofed into our box and forwards who’ve been unable to score all season are like kids in a sweet shop versus Steele, Kennedy, Crainie and McNulty (Foster proving so awful he’d been dragged off in the 1^st half).  How many headers we failed to win was unbelievable.  And we still had the ref to thank for chalking off a 6^th, as the goal of the game (a beautiful curled effort from the edge of the box) was ruled out for a negligible foul on Perkins.

So, was it the worst of the season?  Given what went on before (8 wins in 9, a high level of expectation, capitulation against a crap team), I’d say so.  Tho given that we had most of the match and somehow conceded 5, I think the general opinion was ‘it was just one of them days.’

There was again good support from the fans.  I did like a chant of ‘we can see you sneaking out’ to winning Bristol fans staggering out, unused to success.  And then we retired to the Tobacco Factory for more cider or dark beer (depending on your taste).  At least THAT bit went well.  Then I saved Selwood from accidentally buying 8.5% Oranjeboom at the offy, in favour of something he could handle and we went cans on the way home, baby Oranjeboom (still 5%), Tetleys or Stella.

Oh, and the evening was topped off for me and Andy when we got chatting to a couple of homosexuals in a pub in Paddington.  One of them was a Malteser ‘with learning difficulties’ (his mate said).  Anyway, twas an interesting conversation, tho Mr Reed was bladdered.

Nearly forgot:

*** No-one
** Scotland.  Held the ball, attacked…scored.  What a player!
* Harewood.  Like Scotland, without the goal.

Despatches:
Dagnall looked lost, forced to play wide right.  Tunnicliffe came, saw and disappeared.  And aside from a goalline clearance, it’s true – there IS only one element to Delap’s game.

that is all.