BFC 3-1 Portsmouth, Tuesday 7th March 2023

‘East Stand, give us a song.’

It’s the day before we’re due to play Portsmouth at Oakwell and I receive a message: the East Stand will be closed, due to an issue of loose cladding. Something like 4,000 season-ticket holders will be forced to move at short notice. So where to sit? Ponty End? Old main stand? Or joining the away fans in the Barry Murphy North Stand? One advantage of having a ground that’s too big for us is we’ve got an average of 13,000 vacant seats each game, so space isn’t a problem. However, all those old folks without jobs to go to fill out the main stand’s upper tier before I finish work. Cover, cosy, and, crucially, offering the shortest walk from the town centre. So I elected to give the North Stand a go. I think I’ve only ever sat here once….home to Port Vale in a Xmas game….cigars and terrible aftershave being the memory of the day. Yes, it was a while back.

Entering the stand, one of the first people I see is former BFC secretary Michael Spinks. He waves me over for a word. ‘This wouldn’t have happened on your watch.’ ‘Too right’ he laughs. (It won’t surprise youse to learn we’ve known each other since the good old days of him dealing with my complaints.) Mind, it can’t be that serious – the stand is due to re-open 4 days later for the Plymouth game. We presume all it takes is a man with a ladder and a hammer and nails.

Anyway, you’d think they were guarding the crown jewels, as a phalanx of stewards is lined up next to barriers outside the East Stand to prevent gawpers coming too close. I’ve seen fewer stewards at home to Dirty Leeds. I’d also never seen so many black people in Oakwell. No bad thing, though it’s a bit drastic if you have to bus them in from London AND pay them. Musta cost us a fortune.

Fair dues to the Oakwell hierarchy, ticketing arrangements went like a dream (helped, no doubt, by all those traipsing to Oakwell throughout the afternoon). A large gazebo outside the Ponty End had boxes of tickets for each of the other 3 stands. Show your season ticket, choose your stand and get a ticket. Simples. Also, perhaps organisation is testament to Head of Ticketing Beth, whose latest hospital update was ‘critical’. In uncanny timing….the 16th minute to be precise…the Super Reds go one nil up as fans around Oakwell light up their mobile phones in her honour.

It was a fabulous goal, too. Phillips intercepts the ball on the halfway line, strides forward 20 odd yards before playing a ball out left to the unmarked Norwood to confidently bury. However, it would be remiss of me not to point out how long Pompey left Norwood alone. Phillips couldn’t fail…could he? Minutes later, Cadden cuts inside from the right (whatthehell is he doing THERE?) and curls a beauty into the far corner. All in front of us in the North Stand. We’d taken Portsmouth apart and fully deserved the 2 goal lead. A rare foray forward from them gave them a volleyed chance from 12 yards which dribbled to the keeper.

Didn’t someone once say a two goal lead is the most dangerous? So, far better to make it one, as Pompey score early in the second half. Nobody bothers to stop their right wing cross, and nobody bothers marking the bloke running in to head powerfully home. It’s a scare, and later on, we try to repeat it, as Cadden and Kitching actively back off to let another unchallenged cross in. I’d be tempted to say it was part of a plan, if a slightly heated conversation between those 2 and Kane didn’t take place. We need to not get ahead of ourselves. We’re good, but we’re not THAT good.

Thankfully, after conceding, the Super Reds carry on as if it hasn’t happened. No nerves, no dropping deep, no trying to hang on – we go back on the attack and it’s not long before Cole makes it safe, banging it high into the net as he ran on to Norwood’s low cross. Oakwell wakes up, :Pompey (finally) shut up and we can contemplate catching Plymouth for second. Well, until I saw their remaining fixtures.

Onwards and upwards!

*** Norwood. A constant handful, a goal and assist reward for a top performance.
** Kane. Everything seemed to go through him, especially first half.
* Cole. Complemented Norwood. Bustle and speed, quite a combo tonite.

Official MOTM: Norwood.

Londontykes’ MOTM: 1. Norwood 2= Connell / Kane

Despatches:
Rumours of an atmosphere having broken out at the Derby match seemed a distant memory as The Morgue returned. Good job we were winning and a bit of home noise eventually won out. The North Stand didn’t help, as 1500 or so Reds fans didn’t know what to do. Special mention to the 5 young lads at the back trying to get something going. For the rest of us, I apologise. Not sure about ‘Hat nonce, give us a song’, but there it is.

I’ve said it before, but aside from the slick passing, one of the keys to our success is our players’ ability to read the game and step out from behind an opponent to nick the ball and set up a counter attack. Phillips did it with the first goal, but Mads….Connell…Jordan Williams…they all do it. Invite the opposition on, rob the ball, and couter attack at pace. Even Devante Cole looks like a footballer in this system. Whisper it, but I think we have a chance.

Oh, and then I gave a Chris a lift to his hotel. After we walked back to the railway station, me forgetting my car was parked in a back street near Oakwell. I am starting to worry about early onset dementia. I am starting to worry about early onset dementia.

Drink du jour: A pint of Leffe with Nice Guy Chris in Bramahs.

Away: 1,217. A great turnout in midweek for a midtable side several hours’ drive away. And it’s fair to say I couldn’t hear the Ponty in the first half above their racket. And they took defeat well.

Today’s take home: The boys are back in town!

The Damage:
c.£30 travel (petrol)
£33 3rd shirt
= c.£63

The Tunes:
EFL Show (BBC Sounds)
Euro Leagues (BBC Sounds)

BFC 1-1 Portsmouth, Saturday 15th December 2018

‘It seemed very nice to meet you both.’

Christmas in the Arcade.

Yeah, yeah, a week later.  You’d think work died down the closer you get to Jesus’s birthday.  Still, at least I don’t have to amble around Palestine, looking for an inn, like his mam.  I get to sleep on London buses on the way home, or my couch as I wait for the Barnsley highlights on my Freeview recording of The Football League Show on Quest.  I’ve still not seen the highlights.  Fell asleep and been busy the rest of the week.  Have I told you I work hard?  (ok, I went to see Adam Ant on Weds nite with fellow Londontyke Slacki and his better half).

A filthy day in 'tarn'.

The match?  What stuck out, even at the time, was how much better the ref was than normal.  We’d only been assigned one of them there Premiership refs, Jon Moss (I believe he doesn’t have a ‘h’ in his name, but forgive me if I’m wrong).  Of course this is no guarantee of an improved performance; witness any time we play one of them there ‘big’ teams and the Premiership ref still gives everything in their favour – yes, I AM thinking of that penalty Dirty Leeds got for an infringement 5 yards outside the box the other year.  But things got stranger…

There were police everywhere.  You'd think Pompey were in town.

The 3 wise men (Reedy, Anton and I) returned from Sheffield on a virtually empty carriage, and across from us was some vaguely smartly-dressed gentleman, sat on his own, looking a tad out of place.  After a few mins he joined in our converse;  he was obviously impressed with our in-depth knowledge of players, tactics and officialdom.  ‘Where’ve you been today?  You look a bit smart.’  ‘Oh, I was one of the linesmen at Barnsley today.’  F*** me.  I think he joined in the chat cos we (I) was complimenting the officiating.  Thank the lord Jonesy wasn’t here.  He’d have imploded.  Anyway, ‘Harry’ (I think) was a top bloke and gave us a few insights into the life of a black man man in black.  Basically, a couple of games a week and lots of courses (he was off to Leicester-Man C on Tuesday).

The Pompey hordes.

Yes, we played a game.  And to the surprise of no-one, we swept the floor with league leaders Pompey and went in a goal down at the break.  I’m not sure how we didn’t score, but I know how we conceded; Mowatt, under pressure from no-one, clears from the byeline – straight to their player, edge of the box, who controls and drills it into the bottom corner.  I wouldn’t mind if it was on Mowatt’s RIGHT foot (the one he can’t/won’t use) but this was on his left, and he clears it 20 yards along the floor to them.  P*** poor.

Halfway line inaction.

Before then, their keeper had tipped at least 3 shots over.  Yes, he looked comfortable, but that was all about his placing (Davies, take note).  Potts broke down the right, pulled one back for Woodrow, who, 20 yards out, hit it as sweetly as could be. Sadly, the keeper read it.  A bigger chance was Potts blazing over from 10 yards.  I remember when he could finish.  We called it ‘September’.  So, we’d played great, been the better team, and went in at the break one down.  I’d settle for a draw…

Pompey attack a corner.

At half time, Stendal replaced right back Cavare with centre forward Brown (I presume Dmitri was injured) and 15 mins later we had the equaliser; Potts crossed in a nothing ball and Woodrow did this thing where he MOVED and MADE IT HIS, stretching a leg for an easy tap in.  How easy this football malarkey is.  The match was ours now, we’d steamroll the league leaders who looked anything but.  The short is: we didn’t; both sides looked comfortable and we never properly pressed on, despite a late chance for Kiefer.  ‘How’d he miss THAT?’ I heard.  I tell you how.  He’s controlled it, then turned 270 degrees and dragged it narrowly wide.  Coulda…shoulda…woulda…but we didn’t.  This team should be top 2.  Instead, we’re barely making play-offs. I’m asking Santa for more ‘ruthlessness’.

The Ponty v Pompey.

*** Woodrow.  Held it up, brought other players in, passed to his teammates (!) and scored.  Looked every inch the perfect foil for Kiefer.

** Pinnock.  Twitter MOTM.  Why’s he not linked with better teams than us?

* McGeehan.  Looks better the more he plays for us.  Still not in his best position tho.

Londontykes' MOTM:  1. Woodrow  2. Pinnock  3. McGeehan

Onwards and upwards!

Despatches:
I will leave despatches to George Moncur.  He’s either the best player we have (5 minutes) or he’s not worth a place in our team (85).  Looks a class above anything else in this division when he’s ‘on point’.  I cannot fathom him.  Subbed off. 

Drink du jour: Wheat beer in the #7 and Sheffield Tap, and a bottle of red for the train.  If it sounds like I’m mellowing, you haven’t had the hangovers I’ve had on a Sunday…  (If you're wondering, the 'referee's assistant' has a penchant for gin and tonic in a can).

Away: 1,674.  A decent turnout, and good lads too (the ones we met on the train up).

The Damage:
£32 train
£2 fanzine
£12 BFC mugs x 2
£18 DVD
= £64

The Tunes:
Family of Aliens (Teleman)
Hi Scores (Boards of Canada)

A blurred panorama v Pompey.

The view from the Ponty (cheers Jonesy!)