Darlington 1883 3-0 Scarborough Athletic, Friday December 26th 2014 (Evo-Stik First Division North)

Welcome to Darl...err....Bishop Auckland!

Darlo 3-0 Scarborough Athletic, att 1382

Christmas and a chance to see #2 side Darlo while at home visiting the alma pater.  And what with the hire car, it was nice to make it to the ground within 15 minutes of leaving home.  Still won't buy one though.  Darlo currently groundshare at Bishop Auckland's new(ish) ground on the edge of town (Bishop Auckland) approximately 10 miles from Darlington.  Handy for cars, being right next to the main drag from Bishop to Barnard Castle whilst there's any amount of parking thanks to massive Tesco and Sainsbury branches (why both?) adjacent.  Not sure how anyone would get there on a service bus though.  Mind, on a Boxing Day, they wouldn't.

The pre-match rush

£9 to get in - but only 6 if one is a season ticket holder at Newcastle, Sunderland or Boro. No mention of Barnsley.  Still, could be difficult tempting season ticketholders away from their team when they're playing at home themselves, as Boro and Sunderland were today.  But I'd pretty much guarantee better value, especially as one has the non-league ability to drink in the clubhouse while in view of the pitch, as one can at Heritage Park.  Shame one needs to drive, eh!?  (I guess the clever kids get a lift).  

***note: the bloke in front of me did actually use his Newcastle ST, so it's tempting some people.  Good.

The Press and/or DJ in the Main Stand

Despite the bar being packed I was able to meet my old childhood mate Joe and his dad Phil and enjoyed a J20 (true).  And I just about saw Darlo's opener, as a long ball was flicked on and centre forward Graeme Armstrong hooked it home with his left.  Drink up, time to join the terrace throng.

Phil's regular spot was on the far side, behind the giant dugouts, on a small grass bank.  The Main (only) Stand was season ticketholders only today, while the Tin Shed from the old Feethams has apparently been resurrected behind one goal.  That left a bizarre couple of temporary open seating areas behind the other goal, lovingly bought for thirty grand and which will apparently follow Darlo wherever they pitch up next (hopefully, and looking like-ily, Darlington.  A deal's in the offing to take them back home, with the rugby club)...though Phil assures me there's some Darlo fans would happily stay where they are.  (Those who live nearer to Bishop, for instance...like Phil!)

Dugouts bigger than stands at this level

Half time, another cheeky drink in the social, before positioning ourselves by the side of the pitch. You could SMELL the grass...and see the fog rolling in.  Darlo sealed victory when Mitchell beat the offside trap by standing on his own in the middle (theleft back hadn't bothered pushing forward) and trundling forward to sidefoot in, before Armstrong scored a header...which was cleared...before scrambled in again.  The game over, Scarborough despatched after 5 successive wins.  The Quaker promotion march goes on.  It was great to see a Darlo home game after an absence of 10 years or so. Hopefully the next tie will be in Darlington.

COME ON DARLO!

The Tin Shed (2014 version)

Damage:
£9 ent
£2.50 programme
80p badge

Darlo Uncovered

The Main Stand (over there...somewhere)

Barnsley 2-0 Leyton Orient, Saturday 20th December 2014

'This lot are s***.  Thank god.'

Welcome to the Pleasuredome!

This is what it should be like every week in division 3; winning comfortably with the minimum of effort against a side who couldn’t look dangerous against 10 men.  Let’s be clear here, Orient were simply the worst side we’ve seen at Oakwell all season.  Ok, they were without their entire forward line – and it showed – but, really, they have to be nailed on for relegation.  One less place for us to worry about, then!

Grove Street

The match was over before half time.  Hemmings played in Hourihane, who rounded the keeper and rolled it home, while Cole collected from Jennings and finally slotted a one-on-one.  And that was it.  We wasted endless chances to break, 3 on 3, as Orient lacked the discipline to stay in position and piled men up before losing it.  They were terrible.  Yet they did get one slice of luck when another ball over the top led to hesitation by Crainie (and Ramage?) and Turnbull left in no-man’s land.  Just like Chesterfield away.  This time, Turnbull pulled off a great save, but sadly he was 10 yards out of his area.  Off he went and the resultant free kick was chipped into the crowd/empty seats behind the goal.  Did I mention how s*** they were?  Orient then had 20 minutes (including 5 mins of injury time) to test a side who hadn’t won a Satdy home game since….?  AND had Adam Davies in goal.  They created f*** all and if anyone was gonna score, it was 10 man Barnsley.

Easy Easy!

*** Jennings.  Beat players, set chances up, tackled back.  Sponsor’s MOTM.

** Ramage.  Dealt with everything at centre half.
* Holgate.  Never put a foot wrong at right back.  This kid is the find of our season so far. 


Londontykes top 3:
1. Jennings
2. Holgate
3. Berry

Despatches:
Nyatanga had a decent game at left back, Berry flicked his hair in midfield (actually, he was pretty good as well) while Bailey made the odd tackle (before giving it away again).  The jury on Hemmings appears to be that he really is s*** and shouldn’t be near our team.  But I never really noticed him.  (Though he did make the the kind of throughball for Hourihane that Hourihane should be making for himself.)  The rest either had nowt to do, or didn’t do owt.

Bit sparse in the Ponty...

Applause also rang out around the ground in the 82^nd minute.  No idea why.  Has someone else died? 

Drink du jour: in amongst the Erdinger, there was a bottle of JD and coke drunk in 1^st class, though I can’t say I was in a drinking mood, still recovering from Friday.  I spent most of the 1^st half falling asleep…

Away: 490.  Allegedly.  Including Jonesy’s old pupil and dad, who we met on the train.

Damage: train £36, programme £3

The Os (no apostrophe needed).

Walsall 3-1 Barnsley, Saturday 13th December 2014

‘You’re not fit to wear the shirt.’

Welcome to the Bescot!

It’s official.  The natives are turning. Another poor excuse for a performance and defeat to 3^rd division nonentities Walsall, having been a goal up.  Meantime, we attempt to rescue the ghost of Keith Hill by passing square, square, backwards, keeper…HOOF!  Things are going from bad to worse and if (when?) we lose on Tuesday to non-league Chester, Wilson’s position will surely become untenable.  Yes, it’s that bad.

Still, all started brightly. Latest recruit from the juniors Holgate looked decent at right back, Brown (‘a centre half who’s mainly been playing at right back, playing at left back’) having the best game I’d seen him (I might commission a t shirt, ‘I’ve seen Reece Brown tackle!’  Hopefully it won’t come back ‘I’ve seen Reece Brown’s tackle’!) and Abbot looking the best defensive mid I’ve seen for a while too.  And lo!  A corner comes in, Nyatanga runs past his marker and directs a header to the far post where a defender on the line couldn’t have failed to clear it.  But they didn’t have one.  I celebrated by going for a p***.

Pre-match beers this way!

While duly buttoning up my flies, I hear a small roar.  A passing Reds fan gives the good news.  ‘Equaliser’.  Andy confirms it’s a blinder, a volley from the edge of the area from a corner.  But still, this is the 2^nd game in a row I’ve seen us take the lead then throw it away within a minute.  But I needn’t worry about missing this one, cos another one has just turned up: Holgate leaves the ball for another player and their bloke nips in between them.  Picking it up on the touchline he gets his head down, runs toward goal and as a defender comes in on the cover, he squares it and his mate sidesteps a desperate lunge and picks his spot in bottom corner.  All very composed, well done that fella.  

The Away End.  Spot the Xmas jumper.

Not to worry, we’ll pull it round 2^nd half, this lot are no great shakes.  We create one half chance for Hourihane to blast at the keeper from an angle, then we get a free kick in the 88^th minute on the edge of the box, foul on Cole.  Hourihane steps up and does what he’s done best for the past 2 months, chipping it high and over.  Can Wilson finally be brave enough to put him out of his misery and drop him for a game or 2?  If only there wasn’t a transfer window, we coulda sold him while he was worth something (early September).

Sometimes, you wish these posts were wider.

Walsall looked the more dangerous (on the break) and so it proved in injury time when they took a short corner.  The forward pointed out where he wanted the ball, our defence watched him, and he took a return pass to slip the ball home.  It’s no use our defence reacting half a second after they’ve done something – it’s too late.  Woeful.  Cue chants of ‘What a waste of money’ and ‘You’re not fit to wear the shirt’ (a tad harsh on the promising 10 minute cameo of Jack Cowgill, possibly making his debut).

*** Jennings.  Only attacking player who looked owt like.  Is he heading back to being the player he should be?

** Brown.  Tackled, chased, harried, all from left back.

* Abbot.  Tackled, broke down moves, played it to his own players, booked, subbed.  I think that sums it up.

Londontykes top 3:
1. Jennings
2= Crainie / No-one

Your number 1 West Midlands tile choice.

Despatches:
Send Cole back. Wilson obviously has no idea how to use him, while Cole himself looks like the only player capable of worrying the opposition.  Send Trotta back too.  He’s another one who’d presumably look a lot better playing in a decent team, cos he looks awful for us.  Stop playing Kane Hemmings as a right winger (though he came on and beat the full back twice).  He didn’t score piles of goals in Scotland playing out wide.  What does Berry do?  Flick his hair with his hand, that’s what.  I hate to sound like Salisbury, but give Digby a run.  Yes, he’s not fast, but he does move the ball, often with his first touch.  This bunch have to control it just to then pass it sideways (sideways, back).  Cowgill impressed me too.  Came on, looked far too tall and gangly, yet turned quickly when a player tried to beat him and easily dispossessed him.  Holgate played well and while at fault for #2, I put this down to a lack of understanding.  He'll learn.

But more than anything, can I have the real Danny Wilson back, please?  Fast paced, attacking football, not anodyne, tedious, irritating timewasting nothingness.  F*** me.

Otherwise, it was a perfectly fine day.  Easy journey, plus pre-match pints (and steak and kidney pudding) in their social club.  JD and coke on the train and still time to hotfoot it across London for Lynne’s birthday party (HAPPY BIRTHDAY LYNNE!!!)  So it wasn’t all bad.  And, perversely, the worse we’re getting the more I’m enjoying it. At least the (away) fans aren’t taking it lying down but there’s the sense these players really ought to be doing a lot better than they are.

Relegation anyone?

A

Away: allegedly 600 (tickets sold).  Looked more like 400.  With a couple of thousand in the home end.  It really did look like a non-league crowd.  There’s our future.

Pitchside at the Bescot.

Damage:
Ent £20.50
Programme: £3
Social club:
£2 ent, £4.85 pie, chips and gravy, £9 (ish) for 3 pints.

Well done Walsall, a most excellent and welcoming place to visit.  (Other West Midlands teams take note).