Dulwich Hamlet 1-2 Hampton and Richmond, Thursday 26th December 2019

Dulwich Hamlet 1-2 Hampton and Richmond, National League South, att. 2,089

Welcome to ...

It’s Boxing Day, which means no Barnsley FC for me – no trains.  So it’s off to my local side, Dulwich Hamlet, fresh from their 1^st win in 14, away at National League South bottom side Hungerford Town.  (There’s a reason they’re bottom.)  Dulwich start 5^th off bottom (it would have been 2^nd off bottom had they lost last Satdy).  They need points, fast.  Midtable Hampton offered an ideal chance, I would have thought.

One day they'll build a decent terrace.

It was raining hard, so I walked rather than biked it.  I got there an hour or so before kick-off, having left home despite the allure of Spurs-Brighton on Amazon Prime.  The Premier League will not rest until their dominance is total.  Mind, I still caught up with it in the Hamlet clubhouse.  Well, it was that or watch cricket, while I nursed my pint of Erdinger. 

The Main (Tommy Jovey) Stand.

The clubhouse has a cracking selection of ales, not to mention plenty of barstaff, so there was barely any wait.  Still, it was a bit warm in there so I decanted to the terrace with a 2^nd beer.  Given the paucity of decent terracing, I headed for the halfway line opposite the Main Stand.  Crowd numbers seemed down on previous.  Indeed, the attendance was barely over 2,000.  Was everyone away visiting family?  Was family visiting Dulwich?  Or was it the rain? 

The teams meet 'n' greet.

Pre-match there was a minute’s silence for a couple of recently-deceased Dulwich fans, and a touching announcement thanking one in particular for his part in the club’s recent transformation.

R.I.P. Ben Miller and Mishi Morath.

The game itself was entirely decided by the match officials.  In the 1^st half, Hampton scored, but the lineswoman’s flag had gone up straightaway.  Cue ref walks over, chats for over a minute, then points to the spot.  Goal.  I’m not sure what went on there.  The ref has overruled his assistant, who had a much better view.

Match action.

2^nd half, Hamlet equalise.  A free kick is curled in, misses everyone, and lands in the net.  The lineswoman puts her flag up again for offside.  No conversation with the ref this time, and the goal is chalked off.  I can only presume she thought it touched another a Dulwich player on the way in.  Cos the other alternative involves not knowing the rules.  Ho hum.

Behind the Hampton goal, 2nd half.

Dulwich then have a (soft) penalty appeal turned down, but it’s made worse as Hampton run up the other end and make it 0-2.  What can go wrong will go wrong.  There was still time for Dylan Kearney to pull one back with a free kick through the wall, but that was the least he could, given the hatful of chances he’d missed earlier.  Another late chance for Hamlet was charged down and that was that.  1-2 to the visitors.

The view from the far corner.

The Damage:
£12.96 ent (the 0.96 was ordering it online)
£2 prog

£5 beer (Erdinger, x3)
= £29.96

The Tunes:
Music has the Right to Children (Boards of Canada)

Pre-match panorama.

BFC 5-3 QPR, Saturday 14th December 2019

‘I got results back.  Ah’m all clear, Debs!’

Welcome to ....

A tempestuous week meant drinking from 9am on the Booze Express to Barnsley.  Heading out of the EU, and Tories even taking over my home constituency of Sedgefield, it was left to Barnsley FC to cheer me up.  Christ.  I don’t fancy my chances.  I hadn’t seen them win all season, in 8 or 9 attempts.  By the final whistle today we’d hit 5 and won our 3^rd game of the season.  Must be the Boris effect!

It's matchday, so obvs you can't use the station pedestrian footbridge.

Course, I missed the first two goals, as it took an age for the box office to assign next week’s Millwall match tickets (and I still didn’t buy enough, idiot).  I traipsed round the back of the Ponty in time to hear a distant cheer.  F***.  1-0 down before I’ve even got in.  So it was with some surprise upon entering the East Stand that ‘the scorer of the QPR equaliser was….’  We’d gone ahead, they’d hit back.  All-square, I’d missed nowt.

You have to be kidding, right?  £30?

I’m not sure what to make of the game.  Was it a thriller?  Or just two poor sides not having a clue how to defend?  At least ours took turns to give them goals, as Mads got caught on the wrong side for #1 (I’ve since seen it on telly), Diaby fails to track his man for #2 and whichever Williams isn’t Ben got absolutely ar5eholed down their left before the pullback eluded Mowatt.  Yes, we need to be scoring about 5 a game to have any chance of picking up points.

Match action in front of the Ponty.

However, in attack, one must give new coach Strudel his dues; he’s dropped Woodrow behind a front two of Chaplin and Brown.  Who saw THAT?  I maintain it makes sense, cos Woodrow's the only player we have who can kick a ball, so those loose balls on the edge of the box are meat and 2 veg to him; but on Satdy we saw the renaissance / beginning of Conor Chaplin’s BFC career.  Previously, all I’ve seen is a little fella running about to little or no avail.  Now he’s hitting hattricks, being in the right place at the right time without Woodrow to get in his way.  Even better, we discussed pre-match Slacki’s bet with Loko that Chaplin would get 10 for BFC this season.  He was on 4.  We all agreed we’d rather have Loko’s side of the bet….(course, it might still come in when Barcelona snatch Chaplin in the January window).

The Rangers hordes.  Thanks for coming!

Brown too was a revelation.  Was he involved in 4 of the goals, or only the 3?  Whatever.  Let’s hope he’s allowed to develop rather than be shunted around from position to position.  Aside from Chaplin's well taken threesome (his 2^nd, a half volley into the roof of the net being the pick), Brown laid Diaby in for a tap-in, the early free kick catching QPR asleep and sending Brown scurrying away down the right.  The other, a Woodrow pen (our 1^st at home in 3 years, who’d have thunk it?) was nailed on after Woodrow beat the full back all end’s up.  We were 5-2 up at this point and not even a late consolation could ruin a perfect week day.

Cauley buries the pen.  Just take my word for it.

Onwards and upwards!

*** Chaplin.  Official MOTM too.  Amazing what a hattrick does. 

** Brown.  Back to his best?

* Woodrow.  You can’t keep a good striker down.  Sell him in Jan.

Londontykes' MOTM: 1. Chaplin  2. Brown  3. Mowatt

Despatches:You know it’s an ‘interesting’ week when you’re getting lectured by a Dirty L**ds fan due to the inappropriate nature of a chant on the train back**.  ‘Think of the children’ he said, as he pointed at his 14 year old, who’d not taken his ear plugs out all journey.  He really did look angry too, but at least he (correctly) ascertained who the leader of the crew was (me!).  Problies cos he thought he could have me.  I was a little taken aback, to be honest.  And I thought I did well to maintain a calm voice as I told him I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, given some of the disgusting chants I’ve heard Dirty L**ds sing over the years (‘Jimmy Savile, he’s one of our own’ anyone?)  If he wants to protect his darling little cherub, I’d suggested watching anyone but L**ds.

**Course, he was right.  Any sane person would find that Yorkshire Ripper chant absolutely abhorrent, but it’s so…DAMN CATCHY.  I must point out that Nice Guy Chris did not join in said chant.  He’s better than that (and wasn’t as drunk as the rest of us)

Some Super Reds await a train.

We also met the full Reds team, minus Diaby (well, I never spotted him) at Wakey train station on the way back.  Seems they were off out in that there London for a meal, before spending Sunday at Winter Wonderland.  Isn't that for kids?  (Well, our team ARE kids...)  They were mainly hanging out in the coffee shop.  McGeehan came and said hello and had a brief chat, before I went in and dragged Toby out for a pic with his #1 fan Jonesy.  (I didn't say what Jonesy thought of his efforts at left back.  I merely said 'Don't worry, you'll be back in the team soon' cos he's too good a footballer not to be.  And we've too poor a defence as well.)

Oh, and I fell asleep on the bus home and had to walk the mile and a half back home.

Peckham Rye, last night.

Drink du jour: Leffe, Weihenstephaner, Spiced rum and ginger ale.  More beer at the Parcel Yard, where I became ‘tired and emotional’.  This country has officially gone to the dogs.

Away: 769 

The Damage:

£24 travel

£2 fanzine

= £26

The Tunes:

Let Them Eat Chaos (Kate Tempest)

Until the Hunter (Hope Sandoval and the Warm Inventions)

A Long Hot Summer (Masta Ace)

Behind the goal, pre-match.

Looking towards the away end.

The old Main Stand.

The Ponty v QPR.

Dulwich Hamlet 1-1 Dartford, Saturday 7th December 2019

Dulwich Hamlet 1-1 Dartford, National League South, att. 2,365

Welcome to ...

Last week, my team Barnsley won its first match in 18, so I vaguely contemplated going to see them at Cardiff City today, but three reasons meant I forewent the opportunity.  Firstly, the cost.  I looked the other week and train prices were outrageous.  So I looked at the Megabus.  I could get there and back for around 12 quid.  Match tickets were only 17.  But (deep breath)…let’s be sensible.  7+ hours on a bus, on my day off…no thanks.  Thirdly, my local team Dulwich Hamlet were at home.

Welcome to ....(II)

Some of my other mates were off to Clapton CFC again, so at the risk of being called a ‘splitter’ (I was) I decided to spend some quality time in my neighbourhood, visiting the craft fayre ‘Pexmas’ (Peckham/Christmas…get it?) and another market, with my partner, pre-match.  Then I was off to Champion Hill for the first time this season, for a potential six pointer with Dartford.

Getting there early, I had a couple of pints in the clubhouse.  Erdinger on tap!  Where else can I find a weisse bier pre-match at an English ground?  Plus they had the football on telly, Chelsea losing on one (hurrah), Dirty Leeds winning on the other (boooooo).  Who will rid me of these turbulent ne’er do wells?

Is there a better clubhouse range of beers?

After a browse around the club shop / container, I settled on a position at the far end.  But before I could find a decent viewpoint, I found a whippet to stroke and before you knew it I was chatting on with a couple of season ticketholders.  One had come into some money and had invested in a 10 year season ticket.  Given he’d been around before they were popular, he said he’d enjoyed seeing the recent renaissance, as The Hamlet have become ensconced in the community.  This is what nearly losing your stadium does for you.  (See also: Charlton, Brighton, Rotherham et al).

Hamlet's #1 fan.

Second half, I was stood with a player’s dad.  I shan’t give clues, for said dad was advocating for the manager to be sacked.  Anyway, he asked me what Dartford’s penalty was given for.  ‘Well….I think he just fell over.  Or he may have slipped.  But I don’t think there was any contact.’  The two Dartford fans next to me agreed.  We were side on, and it certainly didn’t look a penalty from our angle.  But we couldn’t deny Dartford deserved it, having moments earlier hit both posts in a scramble and been close on several other occasions.  The penalty was easily despatched.

A penalty being easily despatched.

Earlier, things were looking rosy for Hamlet, despite being winless in 12 in the league.  So much for their FA Cup run.  They dominated the first half, missing chances, and went ahead at the beginning of the second.  I’d describe it if I’d see it, but I was coming out of the toilet at the time, having washed my hands after accidentally pouring half a pint over myself.  I’m still irked, actually.  I’d just had that coat washed.  Hopeless.

My view, first half.

So there it was, a draw.  Hamlet, still in the relegation mire, though, due to an excellent start, not yet in the drop zone itself.  But one thing’s for sure, if they don’t perk up, they’ll be going down.  Perhaps a new manager could liven things up a bit?  Hamlet remain the best supported team in the division and no doubt have one of the biggest budgets.  Is time running out for manager and club legend Gavin Rose?

A packed Main Stand.

The Damage:

£12 ent

£5 beer (Erdinger, x3)

£2 prog

£2.50 chips

£15 t-shirt

= £46.50

The Tunes:

Mixmag Feb 2017, The Black Madonna (Various)

Japanese Whispers (The Cure)

In goal at the Hamlet.

Farouk Menia, former coach, R.I.P.

The teams line up.

Autumn in East Dulwich.

A Dartford corner, 2nd half.

The view from behind the net.

Looking towards the the Champion Hill end.

Kingstonian 0-2 AFC Fylde, Saturday 30th November 2019

Kingstonian 0-2 AFC Fylde, FA Cup 2^nd Round, att. 1,460

Welcome to ...

I don’t know which had me here today, whether it was my disillusionment with my own team (Barnsley), without a win in forever, or the state of the nation’s train system, .  A month ago, I looked at train prices and it was 36 quid return to the north.  When I went to book the next day, it had gone up to £41.  And even then, I wouldn’t get back to London till half ten at nite due to engineering works.  Bargain.  Sod that, I thought – let’s see what alternatives are out there.

The teams line up.

Having checked the fixtures, it turned out to be FA Cup 2^nd round day.  The greatest knock out competition in the world, apparently.  Of the games played at the weekend, the only team I’d not been to was Kingstonian.  Didn’t they play at Leatherhead these days?  I did a bit of digging, and no, they didn’t play at Leatherhead.  They’d moved on to a groundshare with Corinthian Casuals, at King George's Field in Tolworth.  That probably means nothing to anybody – ‘cept I see this stadium from the  train every day on the way to work each day in Chessington.  I had to.

It's a sign!

The stadium is a basic affair, though it does benefit from cover on three sides.  A small seated stand straddles the halfway line, with a decent sized clubhouse behind.  Each end has a small covered terrace about 4 steps high (enough for the average Corinthians’ game, that’s for sure) while the fourth side only contains the dugouts.  Today, a couple of camera gantries on scaffolding eye up proceedings, no doubt provided by the BBC, who broadcast their Football Focus programme from here earlier.  It also provided the most surprising answer of the day to ‘what’s been the highlight so far?’  ‘The arrival of the portaloos.’  THAT’S when non-leaguers realise they’ve hit the big time.

Them there portaloos.  Stars of the show.

It was the usual advantage of not travelling up north today.  I could leave the house the right side of one o’clock.  I could have a flat white and Greggs steak-bake.  I could get there before the match actually started.  I could also have a 20 minute walk along the A3 and marvel at the mixture of concrete and Edwardian semis that make up suburbia.  You can tell I’m not a fan.

Lovely.

I bought my ticket last week.  Not wanting to risk the game selling out (it was bad enough repeating my weekday commute on a Satdy), I ordered it online.  So well done the local record shop who allowed Kingstonian to utilise their online facility.  Ticket ordered Sunday, on my doorstep Tuesday, and queues beaten at the stadium.  There were still cash sales though, as AFC Fylde are not the biggest draw in the hat.  Indeed, I shared a stand with their fans 2^nd half, and they can’t have brought more than 50.  What will happen when their sugar daddy leaves, time will tell.  

The Fylde hordes, pre-match.

The rest of the ground was busy though.  The main home end and seats looked full, so I went to the far end and stood by a railing with a great view of the pitch and Fylde’s superiority; one up after 9 minutes (a shot from the edge of the box through a crowd of players) and the game sealed in 1^st half injury time with a rebound.  Jordan Williams bagged both, but my highlight was still when he controlled the ball and blazed over from 6 yards in the 2^nd half.  I guess he doesn’t like scoring hattricks.  The result never seemed in doubt, for all Kingstonian’s endeavour.

Oh, and Barnsley won.  Of course they did.  3-1.  After 17 matches without a win, they wait till I’ve gone AWOL.  Typical.

The Damage:

£10 ent
£0.60 postage
£2.50 prog
£8 train
= £21.10

The Tunes:
The Far Field (Future Islands)
Endtroducing (DJ Shadow)
Dubnobasswithmyheadman (Underworld)

St. George's panorama

1st half action

Behind the goal, 1st half

View from behind the other goal, 2nd half.

Kingstonian's twin towers.

The turnstiles

Back of the stand (board room this way)

(Both) Corinthians' legend Socrates.

The Main Stand (with clubhouse behind)

The cameraman behind the K's net, 2nd half.

The home terrace

Check out the hump in the goal.

The sponsors await the teams.

The TV/radio gantry.