Dulwich Hamlet 2-1 Hemel Hempstead Town, Saturday 14th March 2020

Dulwich Hamlet 2-1 Hemel Hempstead Town, National League South, att. 2,376

Welcome to ...

With all this Corona-Virus chaos and ‘elite’ football being called off all over the place, it was good to find there was some alternative to staying at home and staring at the weeds in the garden: the National League was soldiering on, and my local side Dulwich Hamlet were at home.  Result!  What is not quite a result is me currently holding half a dozen match tickets for a match which may never take place (QPR v Barnsley) at £28 a pop.  Can I get a refund if I bought the tickets at Oakwell?  Won’t BFC insist on having the tickets back (presuming they’d be able to be used for any replayed fixture).  Cos I don’t see me in Barnsley any time soon…

Corona Virus panic hits Peckham; queues for toilet rolls before Savers opens.  Wow.

Loko also agreed to come out; well, it was this or take up Pompey Ian’s offer to go and see his side Havant and Waterlooville at Dorking.  And wherethehell is Dorking?  Being in the brewery trade, the pull of Peckham won.  Pre-match in the Brick Brewery and then a choice of Brew by Numbers, or the pub (Cherry Tree) near the ground.  Either way, I felt we’d better get to the game early, fearing a possible sell-out given the Prem and EFL being cancelled.  Or would it go the other way?  Maybe there’d be hardly anyone there, what with the impending zombie apocalypse?  (In the end, there were 11 more spectators than my last visit, so virtually no difference whatsoever.)

The teams line up.

I fancied the Cherry Tree as I’d never been before.  As it was, with little to no movement in the queue in the time it took Loko to use the facilities, we headed to Champion Hill.  After all, there can’t be many football grounds offering the beer selection of Dulwich Hamlet.  Even I’m happy…they have Erdinger on tap.  Loko settled for Peckham Pale.  When in Rome…

Inside the social club, overlooking the pitch.

He was also a bit dizzy (bless) so we sat down 1^st half.  The main (Tommy Jovey) stand does offer the best view in the ground, but I do like standing up.  Nothing happened 1^st half anyway, save for sharing a few views with an elderly regular sat with us.  Though polite, he didn’t mince his words: with Hamlet’s budget they should be far higher this season (they entered this game in the relegation zone).  A lack of distinct strategy on the pitch, mixed with neverending player changes had this gentleman perplexed, while top scorer Danny Mills was bewildering benched today.  

Always good to be home.

2^nd half, Dulwich kicked towards the car park end.  With the terracing set back from the perimeter, it’s a generally poor view, so we went to the ‘away’ end.  Well, Hemel was certainly missing someone from the local asylum as one fan made his presence known.  Mirth was raised when I suggested he should come every week, cos he was certainly entertaining.  The away crew had also brought a boom box with them, which Hamlet stewards rather unsportingly asked them to turn off.  I wouldn’t have thought Hamlet was synonymous with po-faced, but there it was.

Course, I missed Hemel take the lead.  I was having a pee.  But when Dulwich equalised 10 minutes later, the ‘away’ end was not as away as I thought.  There were problies only 15 of them.  I remember one very smiley black chap making the most of it to our Hemel friend, who’d earlier sung the quite bizarre ‘Church in the morning, you’ve got church in the morning.’  (He hadn’t, I asked him later).  BTW, why are Hemel known as the 'Tudors'?  Great nickname tho, whatever.

This guy can come every week...

By now Dulwich were on the front foot and with 7 minutes left, the winner was pinched, as a bit of pinball following a corner ended with the ball prodded home.  We could almost see it form the opposite end.  Game won, job’s a good un, and Hamlet were 4 places higher.  It’s tight at the bottom (ooh-err).  But with this Corona nonsense going on, could this be the last game of the season?  Time will tell.  Now it was time to show Loko the sights…on to Peckham Levels and Bar Story.  I love where I live!!!

Through the arched window at Peckham Levels.

The Damage:

£12 ent
£2 prog

£5 beer (Erdinger, x3)
= £29

The Tunes:
Psalm 69: The Way to Succeed and the Way to Suck Eggs (Ministry)

Champion Hill panorama

Grimsby Town supporter's HQ (the toilet in Brick Brewery)

The officials walk off at half time.

The view from the corner flag at half time.

Hamlet attack the car park end, 2nd half.

More spacious at this end.

The Main Stand.

...and hope for the best.

Hamlet worry late on.

A higher calibre of graffiti in the Bar Story toilets.

BFC 0-2 Cardiff City, Saturday 7th March 2020

‘I didn’t know that’s why they called Clive Baker ‘The cat’.

Welcome to ...

What a week to put in the most anaemic performance of the season.  Did nobody tell them our Championship future is on the line?  Honestly, you’d never believe we were fighting to avoid relegation.  It had end of season nothing to play for all over it.  We were pathetic.  We didn’t even manage a single shot on target.  At home.  Against Cardiff City.

Toby posing for the camera.

The only thing as bad as the players were the fans.  Not a single chant till halfway through the second half – so it came as some surprise to hear the PA tell the Ponty End off for inappropriate chanting.  None of us heard anything from the East Stand and Jonesy said he never heard any chants from where he sits in front of the usual suspects.  Rumour has it one fool had shouted something he shouldn’t, and BFC, after the James McClean debacle, need to be seen to act.

A racist, homophobic, nationalistic home end.  Not that I heard.

One set of fans who undoubtedly did chant nasty horrible things against our dear beloved country were Cardiff City.  But, really, it’s coming to something when Welsh people can’t chant ‘Ingerland is full of s***’.  I despair.  (On an associated note, I still wouldn’t have a problem with Cardiff joining the Welsh League, if they’re that bothered.)

I’d have certainly been irritated were I an away fan at nil-nil when we got away with MURDER.  Collins, under zero pressure, dropped a ball, their player nicked it and Collins simply took him out.  Penalty all day long, and a sending off to boot, given he made no attempt to get the ball.  The player himself would have had a tap-in to an empty net.  The officials gave a goal kick.  We looked a gift horse in the mouth and said ‘no thanks, we’re not interested.’

The Cardiff 'hordes'.

The goal was coming.  Everyone said it, and despite its scrambling nature, was fully deserved, despite a defender (Ben Williams?) clearing it off the line initially.  And while fans started to flood out with over a quarter of the game to go, Cardiff scored a second.  I was barely aware we’d kicked off after the first, but Halme still had time to allow a through ball to curl around him for Paterson to confidently score.  That’s two goals in two games he’s been at fault for.  Who’s coaching him?  Mads?

Hope has just climbed on that gift horse and is galloping out of town. 

Onwards and upwards!

*** Sollbauer.  Calm and measured.  Official MOTM.

** Ludewig.  Defence never looked in danger (!)

* No-one.  None of the rest looked interested.

Londontykes' MOTM:  1. No-one  2. Sollbauer  3. Ludewig

Nevermind a lack of chants...0-2 sees a lack of fans in the Ponty.  Pathetic.

Despatches:
I started the day in a bad mood anyway.  I can’t remember there being so many Dirty Leeds scarves in Kings Cross as there were on Satdy.  Are they doing well?  Why do we have to share a home game with them every week?  A new nadir this time round, as we’re on a table behind a bunch of them.  Only they’ve got a soundcube and they’re playing some godawful Dirty Leeds tune of theirs on it.  Fair play, they weren’t from round these parts.  But when they played it again, I had to have a word.  A message to the effect that it’s not just us who’re not interested in hearing it.  I was rather measured, if I say so myself. 

It was a lighter mood on the way back, possibly cos we had Nice Guy Chris with us.  Especially when he found out that Clive Baker was nicknamed ‘The Cat’ because he made miaow noises when in goal!  And we’d also had a good session in the Old #7.  You can’t let BFC (or Dirty Leeds) ruin a day out.

The players?  Don’t mention them to me.  The only one outside the top 3 who looked like he was trying was Brown…and he was still garbage.  Schmidt came on with 10 mins left and I took a sweep on how many touches he’d have.  2.  One to control it, one to pass it back to the keeper.  Hapless.  Special mention to for Ritzmaier...if I was being generous, I'd say the harder he tried, the worse he got.  As Loko said, he's never seen anyone play so poorly and survive three substitutions.'  We were that bad.

The old Main Stand.

Drink du jour: Leffe, Weihenstephaner, JD and Coke

Away: 820.  Big club, Cardiff.

The Damage:
£28 train
£25 home shirt
£15 3^rd strip shorts
= £68

The Tunes:
Euroleagues Podcast (BBC)
Classics (Dave Angel)
Coles Corner (Richard Hawley)

East stand panorama

Who doesn't want a BFC-Oxford half and half scarf?

Looking towards the away end.

The view from Blackfriars' Bridge, Satdy morning.

The detour to Oakwell.

Reading 2-0 BFC, Saturday 29th February 2020

‘If Schmidt and Bahre are the answer, I don’t even know the question.’

Welcome to ...

After 3 clean sheets and 3 victories, normal service has resumed after a meek loss at Reading.  One should never get one’s hopes up, but this was definitely one we could file under ‘winnable’.  Indeed, even when one down at half time I was optimistic – we’d played poorly and still created 3 blinding opportunities.  Imagine what will happen when we ‘click’.  Little did I know, this was our good half.

The Colosseum awaits its gladiators.

The first half was a strange affair from our perspective.  Like any Sunday morning game, we looked at our most dangerous when Reading had the ball.  Their defence took risks and lacked the capability to see them through.  Cauley robbed one of them on the halfway line, strode forward and drilled it wide.   Critics pointed out the 3 Reds players in support (versus one defender) while I’d highlight how he scored from the same position at Plymouth last season.  And if I was Cauley, would I pass the ball to someone less capable? 

Not the Main Stand side.

Brown had earlier missed a similar chance, a free shot from the edge of the area.  The kind Andy Liddell used to bury.  Then, in the last minute of the half, a Reading player was again caught dawdling in possession, Thomas robbed him, made a beeline for the penalty area and passed it to Cauley.  The shot, from the edge of the box, was easily saved but somehow the rebound fell to him again and he crashed an almighty shot towards the roof of the net, only for the keeper to come good again.  That was the last time we threatened.

The managers prowl their technical areas.

Did I mention we were one down?  After 17 minutes, Reading curled a beautiful free kick into the danger zone.  It looked initially like we’d dealt with it…but oh no, the ball bobbled around and somehow squirmed into our net.  From the far end it was difficult to understand what happened, but it looked like the ball got caught up in Jacob Brown’s feet.  An OG?

A genuine Reading v Barnsley match ticket.  How much am I bid?

The second half was a masterclass in holding onto a one-nil.  Reading spent the entire half getting men behind the ball, while we went sideways-sideways-backwards-sideways.  It was pure Keith Hill from us, as, even when we won the ball, we were so pedestrian they simply trotted back into position.  Mind, it also helped they had the best player on the pitch, a massive central midfielder, Ejaria (who, it turns out, is actually a Liverpool player).  Time and again he bullied our midgety midfield, time and again he’d track back, overtake them, and snuff out the danger.

Action in front of a sparse Main Stand.

We ‘enjoyed’ 62% possession, but, as someone said, Mowatt must have had the ball for 20 minutes.  At one point, determined to keep possession against absolutely no-one, he turned back towards his own goal.  Hadn’t he noticed Reading running back into their own half every time they lost it?  Cos we had.  Needless to say they then scored with possibly their first foray into our half.  Poor defending too, as Halme (I think) was turned on the halfway line and never looked like getting back.  Collins, off his line, less ‘narrowed the angle’ than ‘gave the bloke an open goal’.  2-0, game over.

A bad day at the office, but the rotund woman hasn’t started warbling yet.  We live to fight another day.

Onwards and upwards!

*** Woodrow.  Only one who looked capable.    

** No-one.

* Him again. No-one.

Londontykes' MOTM: 1, Woodrow  2. Jordan Williams  3. No-one

Players give thanks.  Officials skulk off.

Despatches:The shot count was 21-7 in our favour.  Another misnomer, as 15 of them must have been dinked or hoofed into the stand.  We problies lost 5 minutes there, as there weren’t many ballboys/fans behind that far goal.

In positive news, the lesser sighted Captain (Phil) rocked up to the pub, as well as Big Jim.  I also bumped into Tim at the game (welcome back!) as well as a few of the regulars.  And I don’t know who to feel sorry for out of Loko and his San Franciscan girlfriend: her, for enduring the cold of Reading, or him, for being forced to tour the galleries of London on Sunday in return.  Poor Ben…

Drink du jour: IPA in Greyfriars.  Champion.

Away: 735

The Damage:

£20 ent

£14 train

£2 bus to stadium (I'm sure it used to be 3!)

£3 programme

= £39

Madjeski panorama

1st view of the stadium

The teams meet 'n' greet

Courthouse Reds' salubrious coach.