Wakefield 2-0 Selby Town, Saturday 30th December 2023

Wakefield 2-0 Selby Town, Northern Counties East League Division 1, Wakefield Trinity Stadium (Belle Vue), att. 467

It is the last Saturday of 2023 and one advantage of supporting an EFL side is that being the festive period, Barnsley played yesterday. Thus, the non-league world is my oyster. Molly and I settle on Golcar United. He wants to see my new place up the road, but the Pennine Gods aren’t favourable; another day of rain (I think I’ve had 3 dry days in 2 nearly 2 months) puts paid to Golcar’s game, just as it did the other week when I went to Emley instead.

I suggest local Barnsley derby, Wombwell Town v Worsbrough Bridge, pitting my mates Molly and Nozzer against each other. However, Nozzer can’t make it and besides...it’s also off. I give Molly a list of suggestions. There’s local derbies aplenty; Ossett v Pontefract, Stocksbridge v Sheffield, Stalybridge v Avro...and Moll responds with a curveball. Wakefield v Selby Town, at Wakefield Trinity’s rugby league ground, no less. I’d see a sizeable new ground without having to watch rugby league. Super! (I actually don’t mind rugby league and will happily go back and watch Trinity.)

I worry for the rugby league side. I worry for rugby league. The ubiquitous nature of football, and the premier league in particular, casts a murky shadow over traditional rugby league hubs such as Wakefield. And with Trinity relegated last season, you can apparently pick up a season ticket for only £100 this year. With a brand new stand, they’re doing their best.

There is undoubtedly untapped potential for the football team though. The city has a population of 110,000. Moll and I debate whether it’s the biggest place not to have had a professional football team, though I think Warrington’s population is 200,000. Today, nearly 500 turn up for game at the 10th tier of English football, over 50% more than the next highest, Staveley Miners Welfare. I have no idea where Staveley is, or if it’s even a real place.

Formed in 2019, oddly, it’s the first season Wakey have actually played in Wakefield, following stints in Barnsley and at Featherstone Rovers’ Post Office Road. I went to a friendly at the latter, 0-7 (seven) to Doncaster Rovers, who promptly got themselves relegated. So it’s quite the turnaround now to see Wakefield having been promoted from the county league and now topping the NCEL Division 1 table (albeit 2nd placed Parkgate are one point behind with 4 games in hand).

The rain has followed me and I have to use the satnav to find the ground. Wakefield is bigger than I thought. I finally see the floodlights piercing the misery and park up in a street behind the ground. I’m slightly worried by the fly tipping and general detritus in the street and find myself having to follow a convoluted route to a stadium which can’t be 50 yards away as the crow flies. I am met by a massive (free) car park. Dammit, shoulda parked here.

The brand new stand is adorned with ‘Wakefield Trinity Stadium.’ What’s with the rebrand? Why tamper with the evocatively named ‘Belle Vue’? I see people entering via a side building and a bloke at a table takes my money. He’ll be busy if he has 466 others to deal with. Then it’s through the social club which is cunning, as I am lulled into buying a pint. But why, if you have Madri on tap, do you need to have Madri in bottles? Aren’t there nicer beers in the world? I peruse the souvenir stall. I can’t buy a programme, but I can buy a wonderful looking cushion emblazoned with Wakefield’s modern logo, part of a recent rebrand. (A ‘recent rebrand’? They’re 4 years old!!)

Molly walks in. He hasn’t parked in the car park either, having no knowledge of a rugby league ground he’s never been to before. In fact, I learn he’s never been to a rugby league match ever, despite it being on his Barnsley doorstep. Fair enough, if you don’t like the sport. We’re accosted by an elderly away fan, wondering if there’s an easier path into the ground itself. I tell him we’ve no clue...but the first two people I ask are with him. Oh well, I tried.

Huge plate glass windows mean a wonderful view of the ground. It turns out to be one of the most bizarre, unique stadiums I have ever been to and one which must be savoured sooner rather than later, what with planned development. The new stand, to our right, is smart yet slightly overbearing, with the vast roof seemingly out of proportion to the stand. Maybe it’s the dead space at the rear of the stand. Isn’t this meant to be a 300 capacity restaurant overlooking the pitch? Plus the front of the stand is over 6 feet in the air. Great for viewing, less so to look at. Still, the modern proclivity for multi-coloured seats at sparsely attended venues makes Belle Vue less grey.

Behind the goal, at the Sandal End, there is a monstrous 4 storey block of executive boxes and hospitality areas, unused today save for the balcony on the lower tier. It was meant to be temporary when it was built 20 years ago but the balcony affords an excellent view, being that the goalposts are a few yards off and helps me muse on this end’s similarity to one side of Boca Juniors’ La Bombonera. I guess I’m on my own there.

To our left is a higgledy piggledy collection of terraces, and roofs and buildings. There is another bar at the back of the roofed terrace, while a camera gantry sits atop the random building on the halfway line. You’d expect a constant terrace round to the other end, but instead it’s broken up by random walkways and steps. Before half-time, we go for a wander from our balcony position and find ourselves at the far end, where we encounter possibly the most bizarre bit of a bizarre ground...there’s a modern concrete terrace built IN FRONT of an old crumbling one. The old roof has remained too. More crumbling old terracing bends round from this end to the new stand. I wish I’d visited before this stand was even built, as it sounded a right wreck:

https://www.theguardian.com/sport/2021/dec/22/wakefield-trinity-renovating-stadium-belle-vue-rugby-league-clubs

For me, the absolute appeal of Belle Vue is its rundown state. I WANT to be able to amble around the stadium, free from being penned into yet another plastic seat in an identikit stand in an identikit stadium. Get here while you can. I’m off to Castleford ASAP. Oh, and Wakey won comfortably, 2-0 with both goals in the opening 20 minutes at the far end.

The Damage:
£6 ent
£5.30 Madri
= £11.30

Port Vale 2-3 BFC, Tuesday 26th December 2023

‘He dunt like England.’

Boxing Day in Burslem. Living the dream. On my lonesome too, as everybody but anybody would rather spend quality time with their family, or sit at home on their lonesome, than go to Port Vale. I’m a sucker for Vale Park. In a rundown suburb of a rundown city is a rundown stadium where trouble seems to rear its ugly head every time I’m there. So I’m disappointed to report zero trouble and zero flare ups...though there was a remarkable lack of Reds fans in the Burslem pub hub of St. John’s Square. While most hostelries operated a ‘Home Fans Only’ policy, I saw 2 Reds fans showing their colours in a packed Bull’s Head. My scarf remained firmly in pocket (buttoned).

After a pretty average pint of the local brew, I strolled up early to the ground. Who knew Robbie Williams grew up 5 minutes from the stadium in a local pub? (Probably everybody, I’m not a fan.) Sadly, it’s now closed, though the area seemed overly served, pun intended. After purchasing a couple of fanzines I hunted in vain for a programme. Turns out you can only buy one in the MASSIVE club shop. ‘Cashless’ it was, which was handy as all I had was...cash. I’d left the wallet at home and had had to borrow some money off my other half to see me through. The shop assistant gave a furtive glance around before taking my three quid, again leaving me with nothing to complain about.

A circumnavigation of the ground brought the realisation they’ve only gone and swapped the away end. After all my quality undercover work, I’d have been rumbled there and then at the turnstile. I’ve no idea why the ends have been swapped. Vale fans now have 4 stanchions between them and the pitch instead of 2. However, they do have a large carpark and a large concourse, perfect for not one, but two fanzones. Eat that, BFC!

Our end, by contrast, was a proper throwback, which is why I like Port Vale. Climbing up to our seats was like climbing the bank at the Ponty End in the old days. But while we’ve built a new stand, they’ve just slung seats onto terracing. A ground that held over 49,000 now has a seating capacity of 19,000 seats, apparently. (It’s never been tested). I marvelled at having a row to myself, when, as kick-off approached, the yoof came in. I was swamped in a mass of multi-coloured Adidas trainers, Burberry and those coats with goggles in their hoods. A father of one of them moved. As a ringleader next to him wondered what he’d done wrong, the guy just said aloud ‘You STINK!’ And it was true. Two seats along, where I was, a faint aroma of slightly off meat pervaded.

Mind, it’s amazing how you can ignore the bouquet when your team is winning and we’re ahead after 17, Phillips heading in a beautiful dink (Kane?) at the back post. A smoke bomb is carelessly dropped and a small child in front chokes to death can’t hide his glee at being in the thick of it. A yoof apologises to dad, but dad’s loving that son’s loving it. Compare that to the attitude at Oakwell. The tannoy would be threatening all sorts before the smoke’s had time to disperse, while 'concerned' busybodies would be bemoaning the lack of respect paid by our lively young bredren. Oh, and the Pope and the IRA can be f***ed at Vale Park without a loudspeaker message from Debbie or Dave Downer.

All of which wasn’t to say the fans didn’t get behind the team. Keeper Roberts has a new chant (I know not which Premiership side we’ll have ripped off for that) while Phillips got a chant too (can't remember the words). 'He hits em high, he hits em wide, when he's in the team, we're on the slide.' Only joking. And of course McAtee (tee tee) who doubled, then trebled the lead. Devante strips the right back, runs into the box and pulls it back for McAtee (tee tee) to sidefoot home. Devante needs to be careful – at this rate he’ll lose his mantle as top scorer. That’s just after the half hour mark and the game is sealed 5 minutes later, as McAtee (tee tee) hits a 30 yarder into the roof of the net. Looks spectacular, but, although at the opposite end, you can see it’s straight down the middle of the goal and their keeper flaps brilliantly. There may have been a wobble in the flight, but, really, any professional goalkeeper should be saving those.

Game won (!) we send on Jon Russell for Luca at HT. The latter’s on a booking, and his powers are still returning. Far better to give him some rest for Posh in 3 days. Around the hour mark, Collins sends on Jalo and Cosgrove for McAtee (tee tee) and Cole. The game is won. Then he gives Lopata a runout after injury, for McCart. This match is in the bag. Only it’s now stretched, and whoever has the ball is 3 on 3. We’ve ignored one warning, Vale having a goal disallowed for offside. They then pick the ball up on the left, cut inside a couple of players and curl it inside the far post. Isn’t this how Stevenage scored last Satdy (Roberts saving the effort, tapped in on the rebound)? It looked a great goal, but if we’re showing people inside, shouldn’t centre halves be covering? Especially as we have 3 of them.

There’s 20 minutes left, and now Vale look like scoring everytime they have the ball. Roberts makes one incredible save...a ball is pulled back and Roberts sprints back along his line to meet the incoming header superbly. Concede that and I wouldn’t have fancied us. The dam is finally broken with 4 minutes of injury time left. By now, we’re consistently being skinned down the wings, and a cross is headed in from close range. We are spent, and Roberts makes one more save before the ref blows for fulltime. What started as a procession ended as The Alamo. A heroic stand? Or spineless collapse that could have been worse? Or delusional manager who thinks he’s Pep? I dunno, my jury’s out and I can’t quite bring myself to join in ‘EIEIEIO...Collins is our King!’ quite yet.

Onwards and upwards!

*** McAtee. Love his movement. Love his goals. Love his somersaults. My favourite Luton player.
** O’Keefe. Bear with me. First half, with us defending our end, nobody beat him and his passes were spot on.
* Jordan Williams. See above. Also covered the gaps inbetween McCart and The Frenchman, including a bizarre backpass with his head while sliding along the floor.

(I think whoever I vote for, bar Roberts, is based on the first half.)

Londontykes’ POTY: 1. McAtee 2= De Givigny / O'Keefe

Despatches:
Ahh, three nil up. ‘We want seven, we want seven’ (following our opening day 7 nil win), along with ‘can we play you every week?’ That seemed a long time ago as we hung on for our lives in that last 15 minutes or so. Roberts made a couple of great saves, but also flapped at a corner first half. Cadden was excellent defensively first half, but was isolated in the second as Vale’s winger gave him a torrid time. Connell, McCart and The Frenchman read the game to perfection in that opening 45, stepping out to intercept ball after ball. Indeed, we still hadn’t conceded when the former two were hauled; was Collins being TOO clever? Cole looked better (1st half) while Phillips...well, he scored. We’ll ignore the corner pulled back for him to blaze over the bar. Cosgrove came in for some abuse from those watching on telly, but I thought he did alright. He’s a far better player than Watters and wasn’t helped by the midfield being too lazy/worried/knackered to come up and join him. And Jalo was given longer than usual to run into trouble (but nobody criticises him...cos he’s only young!) Oh, and Kane played (1st half).

And the car was still there, no scuffs, no scrapes, wheels where I left them. Honestly, I don’t know what the fuss is about, going to Port Vale.

Drink du jour: Titanic Anytime IPA in the Bull’s Head. I spent half my time wondering why there were so many Man City shirts in there...eventually figured it was Port Vale’s away shirt!

Away: 1,290. Looked more.

The Damage:
£25 ent
£3 prog
£2 fanzine (x2)
c.£15 petrol
= c.£45