BFC 0-1 Stevenage, Saturday 25th January 2025

‘Someone do SOMETHING!’

It’s all my fault. I went to this game thinking we might actually WIN. OK, we lost last week at Bristol Rovers, but we created chance after chance. And we’d won our last 2 home games. Ok, not enough to presume the ‘Oakwell Curse’ is over, but we WERE playing host to a midtable side whose playing budget is a faction of ours (whose budget is a fraction of Huddersfield’s, whose budget...etc) I was wrong. It happens to the best of us. It was abysmal from start to finish. Especially the finish. The team was rubbish, the fans were rubbish, even the half time entertainment was rubbish (I’m told) as the local bowling alley’s mascot suffered a deflating head. (I know, I know. The local bowling alley HAS A MASCOT!?)

It started well. When I say ‘well’, I mean we were 20 minutes in when O’Keefe beat a man wide right. He has all the time in the world and 3 choices: 1. Have a shot. It’s at an angle, but hey, maybe the rebound will drop for Watters. 2. Slide the ball in low inbetween defence and keeper, make our forwards earn their corn. Or 3. Blaze the ball over everybody. Obviously it was the latter. He knew I needed the toilet. However, as I walked through the concourse, I see on the TV screen we’re on the attack. I stop, I watch O’Keefe beat his man. Oh my God, I’m watching a replay of what I’ve just SEEN. There’s obviously a delay on the feed of about 15 seconds. How comes we can watch games in real time the other side of the planet, yet a game 50 metres away has a delay? Oh, and while you’re answering, tell me why the Oakwell scoreboard didn’t work either. Which was annoying in the second half, as we wondered how much longer we’d have to watch this garbage.

But Coach Clarke to the rescue. A stern talking to at half-time, some tactical juggling, maybe a substitution? None of it. They came out and repeated what we’d just seen. Except Stevenage were starting to sense we were incapable of stringing a move together, let alone having a shot. They were daring to raid our backline and Kilip was forced into a few saves, nothing amazing, but enough for me to decide he’s my MOTM as we entered injury time at nils apiece. The board is put up: 6 minutes. We’ve still time to...concede. 2 minutes into injury time, the inevitable...a cross comes in. It’s over Kilip and onto the backpost where Stevo has run inbetween O’Keefe and Roberts to head in from a yard out. It’s nothing less than Stevenage deserve. Well done them. I don’t wanna be in the play-offs anyway. (I do.)

Onwards and upwards!

*** No-one. I ummed and arred. Kilip? Nwakali? Both had pretty good games, but I’m going to be ruthless. Neither did enough to warrant a ‘MOTM’ vote.
** Kilip. Made 6 saves but caught out of position for the goal.
* Nwakali. Always looks to play the ball forward, but today he reminded of a Yank football quarterback, no options and forced to run around in circles with the ball.

Official MOTM: Phillips. Met with mirth and/or consternation, I can only presume it was one of those ‘protest votes’ by the sponsor.

Londontykes’ MOTM: 1. Nwakali 2. Kilip 3. O’Keefe

Despatches:
We had ONE shot on target, a deflected effort from substitute Gent. DKD had another couple of shots, wide or blocked. And that was it. We never even got close to creating anything. So well done Coach Clarke for dropping Russell and playing Connell further forward, ahead of Nwakali. He was abysmal (Connell, that is) and was given 83 minutes to prove it. Gent came on after 67 for Faruggia and was definitely a step down, despite the shot. He did though take our XG from 0.06 to 0.09. Woo hoo! The best of the subs was Humphreys, who at least made a couple of enterprising dribbles in his 20 minutes.

In defence, Roberts was given another trot out. I’d leave him in the stables with the others. His inability is a liability. If he can’t control a football by now, no amount of practice will do otherwise. 4 wins in a row without him, 2 defeats in a row, with. Tho MdG was missing today, replaced by McCarthy, who didn’t cover himself in glory either, with one mess up nearly punished. Earl was by far the best of the back 3. Wingbacks O’Keefe and Farrugia had some promising moments…till they had to give the ball to another Red, who’d invariably give it away. In midfield, Phillips was terrible and Connell little better. DKD TRIED (failed) to score, but nothing he did came off. And as for Watters, 13 touches tells its own story.

Drink du jour: House Party IPA in Spiral City.

Away: 195 (10,831). Or 2 more than Crawley, last home game.

The Damage:
c.£8 petrol
= c.£8

Emley 3-2 Barnsley Under 21s, Wednesday 22nd January 2025

Emley 3-2 Barnsley Under 21s, Sheffield and Hallamshire Cup, Welfare Park, att. 275

This week’s midweeker is an easy one to choose. My team Barnsley’s under 21 side are playing at Emley, one of the most local sides to where I live. I also enjoy Emley, a tidy little ground with a tallish main stand that commands good views, a social club, and a local real ale pub (shut tonite). It’s also an adventure, criss-crossing the countryside along back roads I couldn’t navigate without a satnav, despite the village being next to the tallest freestanding structure in Britain (Emley Moor transmitter station, to give it its proper title; Emley Moor mast to the rest of us.)

The original plan involved meeting up with a mate who’s just been given his cards…but he’s forgotten/is too busy dealing with employment agencies. Another mate later tells me he’d forgotten too, though he hadn’t committed. He’s got a commitment phobe. So it’s just me and nearly 300 other folk with nothing better to do. I get there 15 mins before KO and park on the street outside the ground, nice and easy. (Turns out I could have parked in the football club’s car park, numbers being down on a typical league fixture.)

4 quid in, bargain, and programmes to boot. For once, they’ve not sold out on me. I should probably have consulted the line ups, as I spent the game wondering who was playing for the Under 21s, beyond a couple I recognised. However, I prioritised my hands’ warmth. The programme did though confirm one thing...the big name player this evening would be the referee...the Premiership, and Sheffield’s, very own Craig Pawson. (It’s the County Cup.) The discussion next to me revolves around whether it’s him, as two of the lads don’t believe their mate. I could intervene, but I’m enjoying it, as well as their refusal to buy a programme to find out. Eventually one relents and toddles off. ‘See! I told you it was him!’

As for Craig’s performance...I was intrigued by the crowd and players’ reaction. Barely a murmur to any decision, I guess the players thought ‘well, he must know best, he’s a Premiership referee.’ Pawson definitely wanted to keep his cards in his pocket, ignoring 2 blatant yellows for fouls on the kids, while I don’t know how it wasn’t an Emley penalty when their centre forward headed a ball off the bar as the Reds keeper flattened him. Where’s VAR?

I spend the 1st half in front of the Main Stand, by the perimeter fence. Barnsley are constantly attacking down their right, in front of me. For half an hour, Emley barely see the ball. The Reds take the lead, a move orchestrated by stand-out performer Vimal Yoganathan, whose last start for the first team was away at Old Trafford (lost 7-0). Yoganathan, at 6 foot 4, is literally head and shoulders above anybody on the pitch. His run, his pass, a shot blocked and it falls to Nzondo to sidefoot in from just inside the box. Cruising!

However, I’ve seen this before, and I know how it turns out. It does. Early second half, as I stand behind the opposite goal, Emley win a corner. It’s man v boy as its headed home from what looks like 2 yards. Minutes later, a repeat. This time the corner is swung to the back post for a big man to score. The Reds all look like little boys (as does Yoganathan, who, despite his height, is one of the skinniest footballers you’ve ever seen).

Still, the Reds fight back to equalise. The move of the match (involving Yoganathan switching the ball from right to left) sees Nzondo sliding in the resultant cross. By now though, Emley are looking the stronger side and they grab the winner. More naivety from Barnsley as they lose it in Emley’s half (I’ll be honest, it was that kid Yoganathan again). Right back Ziggy Kozluk (son of Rob) is caught miles out of position, the ball is played behind him and an Emley player runs 60 yards down the pitch, clean through, before finishing. I guess nobody wanted extra time, least of all the players.

The Damage:
£4 ent
£2 prog (x2, one for a mate)
= £8

Bristol Rovers 3-1 BFC, Saturday 18th January 2025

‘It’s like a competition this...build your best stand.’

I’ve been really impressed with the manager over our 4 game winning sequence. With injuries to ‘key defenders’ (!) Coach Clarke has had to jiggle around the side following the Orient stuffing with the result that we’ve won 4 in a row, including 2 tough fixtures against Wrexham and Bolton. So it comes as great disappointment that as soon as Earl and Roberts are fit, he sticks them straight back in the team. Result? We concede 3 and lose the match. Personally, I’ve enjoyed seeing McCarthy’s resurrection and like seeing a defender who can actually control a ball (as opposed to Roberts and Pines). Earl? Well, he’s not rubbish, but the best I’ve seen him was in his first month with us. Otherwise, he’s not all that. I had to laugh as Clarke, interviewed in the Yorkshire Post, claimed we had ‘5 top class centre halves’ (as he was pondering who to drop, now they’re all fit.)

We also have a glut of top class midfielders too (says Darrell) so obviously, with Connell, Phillips and DKD all fit, he reverts back to dropping Nwakali to the bench despite all and sundry thinking he’s our best midfielder. So, basically, Clarke’s learnt NOWT over the course of the season, and just picks the same 1st team he did when we were losing as many as we were winning, rather than looking at what changed during our recent 4 match winning run. He didn’t mention the forward line.

The forward line. My God. We could have had 7 or 8. Watters alone accounted for 4 of these misses. Clean through twice, 1st half, at least he forced the keeper into saves. 2nd half, he drags one wide, but his coup de grace is an unbelievable miss from 4 yards where he FLICKS it with the outside of his foot, up and over. It was virtually impossible to clear the bar from that range. Indeed, had the chance been at the far end, I’d have questioned my eyesight. He’s rubbish. (Actually, if he’d never found himself in goalscoring positions, I’d be tempted to say he had a decent game. I know, makes no sense. Like playing Watters.) TV replays later show he’s also the reason Connell’s 20 yard volley is disallowed…the clutz wandering into an offside position as he decides to stand next to the goalkeeper for reasons not altogether clear.

Still, despite our apparent domination, Kilip pulls off a worldy, tipping over a screamer headed for the top corner. However, determined not to go in goalless, we stand around watching a Gas cross hit the bar, then stand around watching the return cross, as a Rover does what it says on his tin and MOVES to the ball which drops invitingly between Roberts and MdG. Bullet header, one nil.

Second half continues as before. We are all over these. Watters completely misses a cross. Humphreys heads wide from 2 yards. Phillips has a shot saved and Russell falls over the rebound. But don’t worry, Connell’s about to give the ball away and leave them clean through, though Rovers intelligently square the ball for a tap-in rather than shoot and risk missing. Connell lasts 3 more minutes before he’s hauled for Nwakali, 55 minutes too late.

Still, Earl pulls one back, a header from a free kick, and there’s 20 minutes left. We can still win this. Watters is clean through…and pokes it wide. He’s useless. Then the aimless flick over the bar. He’s useless. Rovers break, O’Keefe is done on his inside and another low cross is sidefooted in. Simples. We have lost a game 3-1 that we have dominated from start to finish. 58% possession, 25 shots (9 on target). Not that I entirely trust the BBC’s stats. Number of ‘one-on-one chances’? One. Eh?

Onwards and upwards!

*** DKD. Good touches and brought 2 good saves out of their keeper, 1st half.
** Phillips. Along with DKD, combined well in our attacks.
* Nwakali. He’s just a joy to watch. Maybe I should go and see the reserves?

Londontykes’ MOTM: 1. Earl 2= Phillips / DKD

Despatches:
XG. Expected goals. Howthehell is this worked out? My Johnny-on-the-Spot Farnham says our XG today was 2.58. Does it take into account Max Watters is on the end of most of our chances? And are we the only team in the Marvel universe to have a lower AG (Actual Goals) than XG?

Anyway, nevermind the football, I had a great day. Reedy loves a bit of Bristol (as opposed to ‘Bristols’) so we treated ourselves to the train. You’ll be unsurprised to learn our return was an hour late, thereby causing us to miss the last train from Sheff to civilisation. However, we got a (free) taxi to Andy’s mum’s, and lateness of the train allowed us to go back to the bar for another pint. So it’s not all bad. Oh, and respect to the Rovers fans I chatted to in the pub after the game…they were all speechless as to how they won, but thought we took it well. ‘We’re used to it.’ My Spurs supporting mate was also impressed at how many Reds fans stayed when the game was lost. Don’t let him see a home game.

Drink du jour: Leffe on the train, Wonderland Hazy IPA in The Full Moon (very nice), Tacoma American Pale (not very nice, more like bitter) and something slightly more drinkable (only slightly) at a craft ale place with beer from barrels. The kind of place I’d have expected better. Neck Oil and Gamma Ray in The Sidings. And Brewdog Hazy Jane for the journey back.

Away: c.750. Full, as far as I could see. I was annoyed they didn’t give us the usual terrace, but it was a good atmosphere.

The Damage:
£25 ent
£41 train
£8 petrol
= £74