FC St. Helens 2-0 FC Isle of Man, Tuesday 29th July 2025

FC St. Helens 2-0 FC Isle of Man, North West Counties League Premier Division, SMS Pro Soccer Park (Windleshaw Sports), att. 195

It’s matchday 2 of the North West Counties League and my first chance after their eastern equivalent on Satdy. I’ve done my homework and am offering Darlo Kev Prestwich Heys, Atherton LR, Irlam or Whythenshawe, all venues I’ve yet to visit. He’s easy and the family’s not home, so he’s up for slightly further afield. Let’s do FC St. Helens, I suggest. Bit further, but manageable. I put the Kevnav on and off we go.

We arrive an hour or so before kick-off. I fancy a pub rather than straight into the ground. Up here looks promising (a main road). A pedestrian starts waving frantically. It’s only a one-way street. The area around the SMS Pro Soccer Park is full of them. Thank you random pedestrian. We park up and walk to The Gerard Arms, a grand building off said main road. A fruity pale ale and an IPA for the pair of us. Good start.

Time runs away with itself though and I find myself giving some of my pint away as we’re in danger of missing kick-off. We scrabble ourselves together and get in just as the players are coming out. Seven quid in, but the programmes ‘have just sold out’. Once in, we are met with a 50 yard pathway and through what looks like a tunnel. It’s almost like we’re the players entering the field of play, but it’s just a sign proclaiming the ground’s sponsor over the roofs of two 50 seater modern stands that get delivered by lorry. It’s a far cry from St. Helens rugby league ground, but therein lies the problem for a conurbation as big as St. Helens playing virtual village teams. That and its proximity to Liverpool and Manchester.

Mind, tonite it’s international nite. Or the ‘FC derby’ as nobody calls it. FC St. Helens versus FC Isle of Man. ‘Will they bring any fans tonite?’ asks a local. Actually, they bring a few, as I counted 5 or 6 replica shirts around the perimeter. No flags tho. The ones pinned to the net (the net preventing ball loss, rather the net fixed to the goalposts) are St. Helens. We walk past these, see the players enter the pitch, then head into the social club for a drink. As ever, it’s pretty large, and probably has as many seats as the ground, as well as a pool table. Handy if the game’s rubbish, or it rains.

It’s a mild summer’s nite though. Some folk are sat at the picnic tables betwixt club and pitch while most fans are standing on this side. The attendance of 195 is about par for this division tonite, barring a couple of clubs. The pitch is also one of the bumpiest I remember seeing. Excellent. Balls rolling along the floor pop up and surprise players whose ball control is limited as it is. The islanders threaten early, but soon St. Helens take control and thereafter look the better team, helped by a 9th minute opener. It stays like this till half-time, whereby we retreat to the bar so Kev can have another beer.

Second half, we continue our walk around the boundary. There’s a tiny stand behind the goal, the only standing cover, though it’s not needed tonite. Otherwise, it’s open all the way around to the aforementioned seats, which are nearer to the corner flag than halfway line. St. Helens press on and grab a second around the 70 minute mark. Game over, but a pleasant enough start in our North West Counties League season. Just be careful with one-way streets.

The Damage:
£7 ent
£4.70 Veltins lager (x2)
= £16.40

York City 2-2 BFC, Tuesday 22nd July 2025

‘I think we’ll struggle this season.’ ‘Oh, shut up.’

I can’t resist a new stadium, even if it is only a friendly. It’s our first ever visit to the York Community Stadium, yet another out-of-town new build with barely any character beyond the seats being different colours. I’d put it up there (down there?) with Northampton and Donny, a small stadium in the middle of a few retail bits. This one had a swimming pool at one end, and a cinema at the other. Beyond one side (the away side) you’d be hard pushed to know you’re outside a football ground.

Chris had come up from London. Handily, Yorkshire Cricket Club had arranged to be playing at Scarborough the next day and Chris was going to that. So of course he was coming to York, to drink beer (and wine) and be merry. And see the near-future of Barnsley FC. After several drinks we caught a bus to the ground from outside the pub we were nearly in. Excellent research, C.

We arrived in good time, time enough to do a circumference of the stadium. We met Gally in the queue outside, and cheekily took seats right on the halfway line. We were the far right of Reds support. (Far right of Brexiters? Dear me.) One obvious change from the Harrogate game was Conor Barrett in for Shepherd at centre half and the new guy from Brighton (Caylan Vickers) played right wing. Yoganathan got a trot out in centre mid.

We went behind to a superb goal. A few one-touch passes before Ollie Banks (son of Ian) curled one into the far top corner from 20 odd yards. Later, Cooper was forced into a diving save to keep the score at one-nil going into the break. Of the players, my main thought was of this new winger from Brighton. Apparently he’d had a good season at Mansfield last season. All I saw was a bloke who likes to keep possession (ie, doesn’t like to part with the ball), cuts inside, and carries on going till he’s forced to knock it back. Skill enough to keep a ball, but not skill nor pace enough to beat players beyond cutting inside them.

Coach Conor made no changes at half-time, which gave the 1st half players chance to make amends against the non-league Minstermen. And who should pop up with the equaliser but Caylan Vickers? Jon Russell played a peach through the middle and Vickers comfortably despatched.

On the hour (ish) the subs came on…Phillips for Russell, Farrugia (still being played at right mid) for Cleary and Senior (who?) for Roberts. Ogbeta then hit the post but with McGoldrick, Farrell (who?) and Graham on for DKD, Vickers and Bland, York went ahead. Another superb one-touch move leaves our players stood still in wonder, before the ball is whipped across goal for a tap-in. Now, had we scored their two goals, I’d be raving. Incredible. Movement, passing. Perfect. But as they were AGAINST us, I’m starting to think all you have to do is give it the old one-two. Our players are simply incapable of turning and running, or pro-actively spotting what’s happening before them. These are NON-LEAGUE.

McGoldrick had ensconced himself at left midfield, but fair play, he set up the equaliser a minute later with a throughball behind the defence for Phillips to run onto and score at the second time of asking. Nothing happened in the last 15 minutes. Two-all, a good runout, but we’re still 4 or 5 additions off midtable mediocrity. (Prove me wrong, Barnsley.)

Onwards and upwards!

Despatches: Chris thought it was his round when we got back to the statin, and the York Tap. I soon put him right – it was my turn. Biggest mistake of the nite. Would he like this red wine, that one, or the other one. ‘I’ve never heard of that one, I’ll try that.’ Make it a large one. FIFTEEN POUNDS, or one thousand five hundred pence, whatever sounds cheaper. Of course, Chris’s company is cheap at twice that price. Good job I don’t see him every game.

Drink du jour: Northern Monk Faith and Erdinger at the Fossgate Tap, Bluebell IPA at the Bluebell, Neck Oil at The Golden Fleece and Weihenstephaner at the York Tap.

Away: 772 (2,567).

The Damage:
£15 ent
£4.90 vegan pasty (the only one they had left, and I was hungry)
c.£20 petrol
£12 buses
= £51.90

Harrogate Town 0-3 BFC, Saturday 19th July 2025

‘We’re having a party when Wednesday die.’

Sarah is out for the day and I’ve nothing better to do, so on a whim I decide I’ll drive the hour to Harrogate to see the latest iteration of the Super Reds. I know, I know, it’s only a friendly and it means nowt, just an extension of the training regime of the summer, but surely I’ll learn SUMMINK? Besides, it’s a chance to have a sneak preview of a new signing or 3. And the opportunity to make a snap decision on whether all the optimism over Coach Conor is justified. Let’s go!

We line up with a flat back 4. Hence Coach Conor has loaned out Cotter and O’Keefe, presumably for their inability to defend. (FYI, I’ll miss Cotter. Marauding runs, pace, passion, and can throw a ball. O’Keefe? Showed glimpses of being decent, but I’d put him in the remedial class for his slow development at defending. Hasn’t improved in 2 years.) Today it’s MDG’s turn at being a right back. So, we can’t turn right wingbacks into rightbacks, so we’re going to turn a centre half into one? I’ve not got great hopes. In the centre, Roberts is partnering Jack Shepherd, our Great White Hope after a successful spell at Bratfud last season. And left back is the Plymouth loanee whose name begins with ‘O’ (I think). Ogbata or summink.

Centre midfield is Russell and Bland, while right midfield is the complete left-footer (I mean that in the literal sense) Farrugia. Phillips, DKD and new fans favourite McGoldrick float around the other spaces. Fans favourite? He’s not even played a game and the fans are chanting his name. I’ll add this to my irk that fans on social media are already referring to him on social media by his nickname, ‘Didzy’. I’m sorry, but I’m not calling players who’ve not done anything for us by their NICKNAME. Do we refer to ‘Phillipsy’? ‘Coops’ (new keeper Murphy Cooper) ‘Hapless’? (Watters) No we don’t. So why start now? Mind, the bloke next to me likes him ‘cos at least he’s wearing black boots’. I’m with him on that one.

It takes us 6 minutes to score. A corner is put in and Jack Shepherd heads home, unchallenged. (He’d later get his head to another corner. Have we found a centre half who could be dangerous in THEIR box, as well as ours?) Otherwise, we’re knocking it about nicely. McGoldrick was coming deep for the ball. Too deep? Or drawing defenders out of position, a la McAtee the season before last? I couldn’t tell. Still, he gets his reward for his hard work a few minutes before half-time DKD drives into space, inviting McGoldrick’s marker to come across and cover. The resultant pass is perfect in timing, pace and accuracy, leaving Didzy (Jesus Christ!) to dink it over the oncoming keeper. Perfect. Have we got a finisher? Or is there no pressure in a friendly at Harrogate. Either way, I’m not missing Watters already.

Or maybe I am. I heard someone say they’ll miss the Watters chant. ‘We didn’t sign a striker, but it doesn’t matter,..cos we’ve got Max Watters.’ Me too. I loved that chant, the most ironic in football history. It blatantly DID matter. We were 4th in January. We finished 12th. He’s now been sent on loan to Dundee United. (You should see what their PR guy wrote about him on Twitter. Go on, have a look. PR gold. You’d think we’d just lost Shearer, Kane, Van Basten and Lineker all at once. From memory, my fave bit was how he fired us to the play-offs 2 seasons ago!) In memory of Max (R.I.P.) we had paid (PAID!) good money for him after he was sh*te on loan...600k...and his wages (allegedly) were 6k a week...so in 2 seasons he’s cost us…(quick bit of mental arithmetic)...£1.2m. ONE POINT TWO MILLION. Plus whatever we’re subsidising Dundee United, cos they’re not paying that in wages. Anyway, it’s his last year of a three year contract with us. Such a shame we won’t have chance to wave him goodbye. (Two fingers?)

Where was I? Centre forwards. Well, good job we’ve adequate cover. Cosgrove’s gone, Jalo’s made of glass, and that leaves some kid from the juniors (Keiron Graham?) Yes, Watters is that bad we’ve sent him out despite having NOBODY. Cos McGoldrick isn’t gonna complete 90 minutes anytime soon. Or ever. We’ve obviously got somebody lined up. Or else we’ll wait to see who’s still out of contract come August end, as we did Humphreys. Oh yeah, he’ll not be missed either. Half a dozen decent performances once our season had ended.

Jalo was there today. In the stand, sat down. And the poor lad didn’t half look embarrassed as the fans behind the goal serenaded him...’Jalo, Jalo, Jalo...he’s better than Christiano.’ The only chant better than the Watters one. In other team news, Luca was missing. I honestly hadn’t noticed till 80 minutes in, and even then I had it pointed out to me. Hopefully he was packing his bags, but the Chron said he had an injury. Let’s hope this is a classic example of a club lying to protect their ‘asset’ while he engineers a move to 3rd division titans Wycombe Wanderers. (Have they REALLY offered £1.3m? Are we REALLY haggling? I suspect neither is true.)

Indeed, the fans were in good voice that 1st half, in particular mocking Wednesday’s (latest?) crisis. ‘We’re having a party when Wednesday die’ apparently. And this Chansiri chap is becoming more and more popular everywhere in South Yorkshire outside of S6. Keep it up, Washday.

I moved round the pitch at half-time, to stand on the halfway line and get a better view of our midfield movement and passing. Nothing happened. Farrugia hurt himself sliding out and heading the advertising hoardings. Personally, I’d have put my arms out to cushion the fall. Hopefully he’s alright, though there was nothing in his display to suggest he’s a starter. He looks quite pacey, but what’s the point if it’s down the right wing and you can’t kick it with that foot?

Reyes Cleary came on (left wing) and made a couple of direct runs with no end product, while a couple of youth lads came on to run about and look keen. Following the Farrugia episode, where he was seen off by a defender (fairly IMHO, though it wound up the fans behind the goal) tempers became flared as the Sulphurites (one of THE great nicknames) put in a couple of robust challenges on the halfway line, causing Coach Conor and their manager – the owner’s son, can’t remember his name, but I wish I was the son of a football club owner! – to do passable impressions of Scrappy Doo. Lemme at ‘em, lemme at ‘em!

Then, as we’d all given up on a match breaking out, another sub, Yoganathan, strode forward, chopped back onto his left foot and curled one into the far top corner from the apex of the box. Bergkampesque. (If Bergkamp could do it on his left foot, which he couldn’t.) 3 nil to the Super Reds. I am strangely optimistic. I think we could do really well this season. If we’re playing in the 4th division.

Onwards and upwards!

*** Shepherd. Won everything in the air, made a couple of covering blocks, scored. We’ll ignore the aberration (see ‘Despatches’)
** Cooper. Faultless. Commanded his area both in deeds and words. Bosses communication. (Noticeably when MDG was told to leave a throughball. Memories of MDG messing at least 2 of these up with different keepers last season.) Also made a superb late diving save to tip one round the post.
* Didzy. Great finish for the goal and looked good in possession. A pity he didn’t have the pace to take on a 45 yard run when clean through though.

*For the avoidance of doubt, pre-season friendly top 3s will NOT count in the Londontyke POTY totals.

Despatches:
Short goal kicks. We looked like an accident waiting to happen. And in one, we were. The ball is played to Shepherd, who plays a Sulphurite clean through. Thankfully, Cooper was quick out and the player blazed it over. But, really, if we can’t pass it around Harrogate, it’s not gonna work against Cardiff, Plymouth, etc I’m getting Marcus Schopp levels of PTSD here. And it’s not like we suck the opposition in to ‘play it through the lines’. No, we suck them forward so the keeper is left with no choice but to boot it long. Which he could have done, no risk, straight from the goalkick.

Something I did notice, 1st half. I think BFC had brought their own cameraman, as Coach Conor was issuing him with orders during one corner routine. (The cameras are on the roof above the dugouts.) Will every club let us do this? Do they have to? Or is it just while we perfect those corner routines during friendlies?

Oh, and talking of corners...I saw my 1st corner awarded for a keeper holding onto the ball 8 seconds. I think that’s the new rule, anyway.

Drink du jour: None.

Away: 821 (2,261).

The Damage:
£12 ent
£5 prog (x2)*
c.£20 petrol
= £42

*you read that right. A FIVER for a programme. At a friendly. To be fair, it covered 3 matches (Rovrum and Carlisle too). And I don’t mind keeping Harrogate in business. It’s a lovely day out!