Sunday, 10 August 2025

BFC 3-2 Burton Albion, Saturday 9th August 2025

‘He’s got a foot like a 10 bob note.’
Oakwell was resplendent in sunshine, Reds shirts were a-plenty, we had 4 players making their home debut...and we were two nil down at half-time to Burton Albion. Plus ca change, as Jonesy was probably telling his Corsican father-in-law* while on holiday. What a sh*tshow that 1st half was. We conceded a penalty after 1 minute and 50 seconds (Hurrah! The scoreboard was working!), we conceded a comedy second and didn’t have a shot on target till the 42nd minute. The depression around Oakwell at the interval was palpable. I was ready to sell my ST to Loko, who was thinking about buying one pre-match (if they offered them pro-rata). For some strange reason, he wasn’t as keen now.

*I’m just baiting him. Here’s where he will point out he’s not married, therefore...etc etc

That opening half was as bad as anything since...our last home game, probably (losing to bottom of the table Shrewsbury; part of my memory is still intact). Indeed, we could have been 3 down in injury time as they broke, 2 on 4 (yes, you read that right). If their bloke on the left of the halfway line had lofted his kick well enough, their other forward would’ve been clean through, stripping 3 Reds for pace as he was. Thankfully, he controlled the ball inside and Earl took him out for a booking. But their front 2 had given our back 4 a torrid time throughout. Last week’s fullbacks, MdG and Earl, were this week’s centre backs. And they looked like fullbacks trying to play centre half. Meantime, Burton’s centre half partnership, ex-Reds Jasper Moon and Toby Sibbick, could’ve sat in their deckchairs and enjoyed the view.

Still, the opening goal was controversial. I saw it, and still didn’t know what happened. Burton have a corner, which is sailing over everyone, when their player appears to run into home debutant centre forward McGoldrick and goes down clutching his face. My initial view was that collisions happen. But if we’d impeded their guy from getting it, perhaps fair enough, but they were nowhere near the ball. Maybe we need to run into defenders off corners and go down like we’ve been assassinated? Home debutant keeper Murphy banks on it going down the middle. It doesn’t. Nil one. That’s fine. Plenty of time.

Half an hour later it’s two. We still haven’t threatened, aside from a pathetic effort from a 3rd home debutant, the left back on loan from Plymouth (I’ll know his name by September – if he’s still in the team.) He gives himself space to put a ball into the danger area (or ‘corridor of uncertainty’ as a former miniscule manager may have said) but no, he goes for glory and blasts the ball into the crowd from a silly angle. I disgress. As I always do.

A Reds’ cross is cleared and MdG intercepts but his attempted pass doesn’t reach its target and a Brewer, with one pass, puts their striker clear IN HIS OWN HALF. MdG has already stepped out, and Earl inexplicably joins him, leaving their bloke with only Cooper to beat. Maybe this is the high press I’ve spent the summer reading about? Further inexplicity (!) sees Cooper 30 yards out of his goal and haring towards their striker, who knocks it past him before sidefooting it into an empty net from 20 yards. I was rather hoping these kind of goals wouldn’t happen this season, but I had to laugh.

Still, we roared into life we finally had something to show for our lack of class on 42 mins, as Phillips wins the ball by the corner flag and a couple of passes later our 4th home debutant…the Brighton guy...wotshisname?...pulls it back on a plate for DKD to somehow find the keeper. Still, it was a start. Then Albion missed their chance to win the game when he underhit THAT diagonal ball. Get it right and he’s clean through and we beg the stewards to leave at half time. (Apparently, some still did.)

Would some stern words at half-time make a blind bit of difference? Did they last season? (I read today we conceded fifty-six (56) goals in the second half last season. The most in England. I don’t know if that included cup games, but even so, that’s over 2 goals PER HALF a game of football.) Coach Conor has made zero changes, but sometimes you have to trust that the XI you put out will actually follow your orders this time. Mind, it’s still a shock when 10 minutes in we score. The ball is played out to Phillips who pulls it back for...is it Vickers?...to sweep home.

Momentum has well and truly swung, as minutes later Connell hits a snapshot which the keeper parries straight to the feet of DKD, who doesn’t miss from THERE. 2 goals in 2 games. Maybe Conor’s right, this front 4 is full of goals. If we keep them. As the atmosphere ratchets up a notch, a lull brings supersub Cleary on for Vickers and he tears Albion a new one in the last 20. Pacey, direct, bit of skill. Early on he blasts past a player, sees a small gap in the corner of the goal and goes for it, the keeper superbly tipping it round the post. And with time running out, Cleary plays a part in the injury time winner, as he holds the ball and gives it back to Phillips who whips it across goal for David ‘Didzy’ McGoldrick to tap in from 12 inches. I’ll say this: Max Watters wouldn’t have scored that. It might be a tap-in, but it’s the MOVEMENT and TIMING for the tap-in. And, bonus points, he lasts the match, save for being taken off to time waste a bit in the last minute. Wow. We have only come back from 2 goals down to win a home game for the first time since 1992. I was there for that one too – we beat Brentford 3-2. I and the 4,927 others who were there can say they saw John Pearson score twice…cos it never happened again, the useless f*****.

Onwards and upwards!

*** Phillips. Masterful. The amount of balls he delivered to a red shirt in that final third. And the way he pings crosses in, low (cos we’ve no-one to win a header). And his flicks straight into the path of Red on the move. A thoroughbred.
** Cleary. His pace, power and trickery blew them away when he came on.
* Vickers. Scored, was a threat...and crucially in my decision for 3rd, didn’t give a penalty away!

Official MOTM: Phillips

Londontykes’ POTY: 1. Phillips 2. McGoildrick 3= Vickers/Cleary

Despatches:
Starting with the players, Cooper had nothing to do, yet conceded 2. MdG looked very nervous, an accident waiting to happen. I thought he’d morphed into Marc Roberts the way he was treating the ball like a hot potato. Earl looked as baffled. I never really noticed the Plymouth bloke apart from that ‘shot’ early doors, while Bland was also part of a 4 man defence seemingly kept busy by one bloke in the 1st half. (And while everyone jumps on what a quality performance he gave blah blah blah– listen, I get it, we WANT Bland to do well – 4 times, FOUR TIMES, he got caught under throw-ins down the line in that 2nd half. Basically, he steps forwards, the ball goes over his head, and unless MdG covers, they’re in. Maybe there were more 1st half, but I notice it 2nd cos it was right in front of me.)

On to midfield, where Connell and Yoganathan can tippy-tappy till the cows come home if that 1st half was anything to go by. Still, better than kicking a ball FORWARD and out of play. I’d just go all school team and tell ‘em ‘Listen lads. When you get the ball, just pass it to one of them 4 in front of you. They’re better than you.’ At least Luca had that snapshot. THAT’S what I really want. MAKE THINGS HAPPEN, don’t just hope things will happen.

Then the front 4. For the little that DKD did, if you watch the extended highlights, he could have scored a hattrick. His movement and understanding with other players (other GOOD players: I mean Phillips and McGoldrick) means they know where he’s going, where to put the ball, etc. Plus he’s proactive (imagine!) He scored that tap-in cos he knows that keeper might save it, might put it just there and he might just score. And McGoldrick. He’s no pace, but he’s got class in abundance. The way he sometimes moves his body to keep the defender away from the ball reminds me a little of John Hendrie. Having a forward with a modicum of intelligence goes a long way. Now, where’s Max Watters?

Course, it can’t all be sunlit uplands. No wonder there was such a vast array of Reds shirts – you can’t get hold of the current one in the club shop. Sold out. That problem with the safe standing blocking those in the disabled stand from having a view? Yep, not sorted. (Still, it’ll flush out anybody pretending they can’t walk when they jump out of their wheelchair to see a Reds attempt at goal). Oh, and there was new BARNSLEY FOOTBALL CLUB lettering on the back of the West Stand (good). But the old lettering could still be seen (bad). Never do a job properly, BFC.

Big thanks to my chauffeur (Loko) for the lift to Barnsley. And thanks to Nice Guy Chris for pointing out it was the shorts wot won it. Yes, COME ON YOU WHITE SHORTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wasthe demise of the women's team in the summer worth it? No comment. And talking of Loko, good to see his favourite O’Keeffe give a penalty away fro Stockport after getting the wrong side of his man. Am I expecting too much of Challinor to teach O’Keeffe how to defend while he’s there?

Drink du jour: Verdant Lightbulb pale ale in Spiral City.

Away: 435 (12,456)

The Damage:
£9.70 train
50 odd quid new shirt
= £9.70
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