Luton Town 2-1 BFC, Saturday 25th April 2026

‘It’s made of long cod pieces.’

I love Kenilworth Road. The low roof. The acoustics. The entrance through someone’s backyard. And the paying of 26 quid to not be able to see EITHER set of goalposts. Still, good job it’s ‘safe standing’ (as opposed to their previously ‘unsafe seating’, where anyone over 5 foot tall couldn’t get out of their seat cos they were jammed in) as this allowed peeps to move around and crane necks around whichever stanchion was in the way this time. Consequently, over the course of 90 minutes, I think I dropped my shoulder left...or right..then left again, more often than Maradona in his prime. And yet I still couldn’t avoid watching another defeat.

Yes, we’re back to playing well and losing, which is what poor teams do. Who was this week’s defence failing to keep a clean sheet? Was it MdG and O’Connell in the middle? I know when push came to shove, it was some bloke called Mads Andersen winning the header off the corner for them to scramble in the winner. I wish we still had him (though probably not on the wages he’s now on).

And it’s not just the defence, is it? We are all of 15 minutes in before Luca Connell fouls their man for a penalty. The very epitome of 'a rash challenge.’ 1 nil. Was there anything more depressing this week than reading Connell is contracted to us for another season? (Yes! O’Keeffe’s here till 2028!) So is Nwakali (2027, that is). But what’s the odds that a new manager will do exactly what Coaches Collins, Clarke and Conor have done, and pick Connell anyway? He’s barely had a decent game since Duff left. (Can we have him back as well?)

Still, we equalised. Kelly picks it up on the halfway line, drives forward 30 yards and the interception falls to Cleary and although his shot is saved, Phillips heads the rebound into an empty net. Oompah loompahs, peaky blinders and a 6 foot shark behind me go wild. Well, it is what should have been the last game of the season.

And then, during our period of being the better side in the second half, we have the obligatory penalty shout turned down, as Phillips rounds the keeper then crashes to the floor after bumping into their covering defender. Not for me, this one, but if you don’t ask, you don’t get. And you don’t get, even if you do.

Then, before the hour, Coach Conor goes for the jugular, sending on Gent and McGoldrick for Earl and Bradshaw. Then it’s Nwakali for Bland on 70, and Farrell and Banks for Phillips and Cleary. It does the trick – we concede. Still, at least it’s not Devante Cole, given a 26 minute trot out for the Hatters. Apparently, they think he’s useless. (I know he is.)

The match winds down with us camping on the edge of their box but refusing to do owt with it. Same old, same old. Is the season over yet? It can’t come quick enough (again). And with Conor telling us there’s no hope next season, I wish it was this time next year already!

Onwards and upwards!

*** Kelly. Everything good about us going forward stems from Kelly.
** Phillips. Most likely looking goalscorer (apart from the fact he WAS our goalscorer).
* No-one. I have no memory of anybody else impressing me. But then again, I was drinking till 3 in the morning.

Londontykes’ MOTM: 1. Kelly 2. Phillips 3. MdG

Despatches:
Special mention to Nice Guy Chris and Equally Nice Wife Jane, who put me up Friday nite. (Considering my train ticket was 90 quid, this was a welcome respite from losing my fortune.) And cheers to that there Andy Jones, who not only bought my train ticket* (generous of him!) from Kings X to Luton, but came laden with bottles of Leffe. He can come again!

*I think he actually wants paying for this.

Indeed, I continued the Leffe theme at Luton Wetherspoons, the Super Reds reputation preceding them as we were barred from 1st choice, The Bricklayers. This is a real shame, as I’ve not had a fight with a Luton fan in ages. Has anybody? Everyone was in good spirits in Spoons (as the kids call it), whether a Hatter or Tyke. They still had something riding on their season, while we were just glad it’ll soon be over.

On that note, I was wavering on Satdy. Should I go to Northampton on Tuesday nite? I’ve only been once, and we lost. And I know it’s crap (a new build in an out of town retail park) but they’re going down, and I don’t know when we’ll see them again. (‘Season after next...unless they come back up!’) But, you know what? I think Luton was my 37th game of a long season. And this game should have been played on a Satdy, weeks ago, but both teams have too many internationals and called it off. So, if they can’t be bothered playing it on a Satdy, I can’t be bothered coming down for it.

Oh, and we had a guest in the away end, Satdy – Vimal Yoganathan. Good on him. I think Vimal even got a selfie with Jonesy.

Drink du jour: Leffe in Wetherspoons.

Away: 1,179, sellout. (11,781). ‘We’re off to Bromley...you’re going as well!’

The Damage:
£90 train (Wakefield to London rtn)
£10 train (Kings X to Luton rtn)
£26 ent
= £126

Tadcaster Albion 1-1 (5-4 pens) Route One Rovers, Tuesday 21st April 2026

Tadcaster Albion 1-1 (5-4 pens) Route One Rovers, West Riding Senior County Cup, att. TBA

With the season soon coming to an end, it’s slim pickings this Tuesday. If I want to visit a new ground, there’s only one choice in the house: the West Riding County FA’s ground at Woodlesford, somewhere in the Leeds/Wakefield hinterland. It is the Senior County Cup final, between Tadcaster Albion, of the Northern Counties East League Premier Division, and Route One Rovers of the division below.

The venue is scant reward for the achievement of reaching the final. Other county FA’s play their finals at major stadia (or, in the case of Sheffield and Hallamshire, Doncaster Rovers’ ground). Durham’s Challenge Cup Final is played at Sunderland’s Stadium of Light, so why can’t a half decent ground in West Riding be found to stage what should be the region’s non-league showcase? Huddersfield Town, Bradford City, Halifax Town...even Leeds United...are all in the West Riding, aren’t they? And all are much grander venues than this.

Apart from the large amount of car parking, there’s little to commend this venue. OK, they have a covered cantilever stand which spans the length of the pitch (at least it would if the pitch was level with it. Part of the stand is beyond the touchline, while at the other end the touchline goes beyond the stand. Has the (plastic) pitch been moved?) But even this has been built several yards from the perimeter fence. At either end, people standing at the perimeter fence block the view from the standing sections. (At least stewards ask people not to stand in front of the seated section.)

At the far end is flat standing, and a football pitch behind, while opposite the main stand is a small grass bank. And, like the stand, it’s a few yards from the perimeter fence. It is here that many of the fans stand, including the Tadcaster posse on the halfway line.

Behind the near goal are the facilities, a grand modern building, presumably including offices for the FA. A characterless bar chimes with the general aura, though at least they’ve some decent beer on: Brixton Reliance pale ale. (They had plenty of other beers not to my taste too.) Easily served too, though given the nature of one of tonight’s sides (Route One Rovers are predominantly Asian), perhaps that was to be expected. Before tonite, I’m not sure I’ve ever been in the racial minority of a football crowd before. Route One brought dozens of Asian fans, of all ages, and genders (though overwhelmingly male). Not sure about the lad sporting a Marseilles shirt with ‘Greenwood’ on the back. He wouldn’t be my choice of player to support. Several sported their shalwar kameez, again, a first for me at the football. Good on them.

Several of their players were also Asian, essentially, their midfield and attacking players. Not sure what that says. Their defence and goalkeeper were black, while the one white guy played up top (and had a key say in the game). But they were ip against it – not only were Tadcaster from a division above, they’d just made the promotion final. However, would losing to Beverley on the previous Saturday act as spur or encumbrance?

It took 10 minutes to find out. After constant pressure on the Route One goal, a corner was cleared to the edge of their box, only for it to be returned through a crowd of players. One nil, and for most of the half, the score only looked like being extended. The Albion centre forward, in particular, looked a handful and only a couple of superb saves from Route One’s custodian kept them in it.

Second half, I expected more of the same. Although lacking in numbers, Tadcaster did at least bring more drums (one) and clackers (also one). They also provided the colour, blue and yellow hats and scarves helping keep out the cold. And, yes, it was cold. I was going to put my big coat away today, but the wind meant it was coming out for hopefully the final time this season.

I moved from my pitch on the terrace. Although cosey, under the stand, I wanted a wander around the pitch. And, as I say, I thought the action would be at the other end, where Tadcaster were kicking to. As time wore on though, this was not to be the case. Tadcaster’s centre forward had blown himself out and Rovers were now on the front foot, pushing hard for an equaliser. Several chances to have a shot were spurned. Several shots were blocked by defenders. The keeper pulled off a great save. How long left?

It was getting on for half 9, so I knew it must be near time up. There was no announcement of how long was left. Time kept going on...and on. I don’t know how many minutes injury time the ref played. Way more than there should have been. A chance of one last shot. The keeper gets down to it, but it spills agonisingly out of his arms and the Caucasian centre forward is there to stab it home. I was pleased, I was wondering what the reaction of the fans would be, and it’s fair to say it was jubilant on the far side and behind the goal. But now my worry was...would there be extra time? Pls no. I’m ready to set off home.

The ref blew his whistle and the PA announced it was straight to penalties. And would any fans behind the goal please move, to allow the penalties to be taken? What? Isn’t that what you live for, being behind the goal for pens? The Rovers’ fans behind that net part, providing what looked like a guard of honour level with each goalpost.

The penalties are immaculate. I feel sorry for the Rovers’ keeper, who’s made 4 or 5 great saves in the 90, but he gets nowhere near any of the pens. Albion’s keeper, by contrast, gets his hands to two penalties, before he dives left for the 5th and wins it for his team. I’m sure the banter afterwards will be about how he deliberately let that equaliser in, just so’s he can be the hero in the shootout. But he needed that.

Anyway, an excellent game, played in good spirit and well officiated. But I was too pre-disposed with making a quick exit out of the car park to stay for the ceremonies. My bad.

The Damage:
£6 ent
£4.80 Brixton Reliance pale ale (pint of)
= £10.80