The pre-match meet 'n' greet.
Morning all. At half past one of a Sunday morn, amazingly awake rather than fallen asleep on the bus/in front of MOTD/The Football League Show (waiting for Barnsley) I am here. Alive. Raring to go. Now. Well, cup of coffee and bowl of porridge on table, Boards of Canada in background (Geogaddi). Slacki/Salisbury - they're a bit like Foo Fighters, but not s***.
Well, I'm a tad busy. Walking/staggering home (for 2 weeks in a row I've made the mistake of having an extra couple of beers with Andy once the train reached civilisation) I realised that, actually, for once, my Sunday consists of beyond watching the MOTD I fell asleep during (yet recorded), the Football League Show I missed (yet recorded) and the washing up while listening to Cerys on 6 Music (after watching recordings of the previous). Turns out it's Jake's 1st birthday party and I'm spending Sunday as I've done the day before - on the lash. Does (did) anyone else spend their son/daughter's 1st birthday hiring a pub for their friends to drink beer? Or just my mate Harriet? (Some of you will know her. Molly - I believe you once arm-wrestled her on what was the Firkin pub on Euston Road). Anyway, anyone wanting to drink beer and feel all 'God's country' is invited to the Yorkshire Grey (WC1) tomorrow, from 1pm, to imbibe.
Well, I'm a tad busy. Walking/staggering home (for 2 weeks in a row I've made the mistake of having an extra couple of beers with Andy once the train reached civilisation) I realised that, actually, for once, my Sunday consists of beyond watching the MOTD I fell asleep during (yet recorded), the Football League Show I missed (yet recorded) and the washing up while listening to Cerys on 6 Music (after watching recordings of the previous). Turns out it's Jake's 1st birthday party and I'm spending Sunday as I've done the day before - on the lash. Does (did) anyone else spend their son/daughter's 1st birthday hiring a pub for their friends to drink beer? Or just my mate Harriet? (Some of you will know her. Molly - I believe you once arm-wrestled her on what was the Firkin pub on Euston Road). Anyway, anyone wanting to drink beer and feel all 'God's country' is invited to the Yorkshire Grey (WC1) tomorrow, from 1pm, to imbibe.
The Trotters.
The match?
Christ. It was like Keith Hill all over again, but without the passing (!!). At least in the old days we could go side - side - backwards - hoof forward from Steele. Today, 1st half, we couldn't even do THAT. The 1st half was appalling. It took us 4 minutes and 50 seconds to control a ball in their half. Yes, I know, cos I looked at the scoreboard. Some good news tho - it was still nil-nil. Not for long. Our (latest) hapless centre back partnership failed again and gave Ngog a tap-in. So Steele spitefully saved it, but thankfully it went straight back to Ngog to side foot home. Not a defender in sight - as I like it.
We blundered around for 20 minutes or whatever (who cares) and then a weak clearance brought a 20 yarder from the edge of the box into the bottom corner. Round of applause that man. Least, me and a few east upper bods gave him a round of applause, cos a) it was a good finish and b) at this stage of proceedings, it looked like that was as good as it was gonna get - them scoring a decent goal.
We trudge off at HT dispirited, depressed and outclassed. Naturally, the manager made no changes to personnel and the team came out TRANSFORMED. Within 8 minutes we were level. The Polish bloke scores a soft 20 yarder (I'm sure Bogdan didn't see it till late cos of the number of players in the box) and then the keeper drops one for O'Grady to tap in. For 5 minutes I get to feel like a medieval soothsayer, having told the 10 year old I'm babysitting for (true) at half time 'don't worry, we're kicking towards the home end this half, we're bound to score 3.' I believe sarcasm should be taught early. The crowd's rapturous response is soon killed when Bolton grab what proves to be the winner. Steele drops a free kick straight into AN Other Wanderer and it's 2-3. Was it a foul in the 1st place (dunno), did Bolton nick a few yards when taking it (yes) do I feel sympathy for Steele, what with a left footer and a right footer waiting to take the free kick (obviously). Most Reds fans tho will blame Steele despite his saving of 2 one-on-ones and general all-round safe hands. Boooo, rubbish, Steele!
And then we spend 20/30 minutes dinking cute little crosses in for bigger defenders than we have forwards to head away. Yes, that's YOU, Polish bloke and Kennedy. Anyone else not there - check out the corner count. I don't know how many we chipped in for big blokes to head and/or Bogdan to catch. Embarrassing. And before everyone blames O'Brien/Kennedy: we have no-one on the keeper, and we're aiming at midgets. TAKE A F***ING SHORT ONE. It'll be the closest we come to being Barcelona, that's for sure. Hilariously, despite winning every header all day, Bolton bring on ex-Boro GIANT David Wheater to 'bolster' their defence late on. Christ on a bike.
Christ. It was like Keith Hill all over again, but without the passing (!!). At least in the old days we could go side - side - backwards - hoof forward from Steele. Today, 1st half, we couldn't even do THAT. The 1st half was appalling. It took us 4 minutes and 50 seconds to control a ball in their half. Yes, I know, cos I looked at the scoreboard. Some good news tho - it was still nil-nil. Not for long. Our (latest) hapless centre back partnership failed again and gave Ngog a tap-in. So Steele spitefully saved it, but thankfully it went straight back to Ngog to side foot home. Not a defender in sight - as I like it.
We blundered around for 20 minutes or whatever (who cares) and then a weak clearance brought a 20 yarder from the edge of the box into the bottom corner. Round of applause that man. Least, me and a few east upper bods gave him a round of applause, cos a) it was a good finish and b) at this stage of proceedings, it looked like that was as good as it was gonna get - them scoring a decent goal.
We trudge off at HT dispirited, depressed and outclassed. Naturally, the manager made no changes to personnel and the team came out TRANSFORMED. Within 8 minutes we were level. The Polish bloke scores a soft 20 yarder (I'm sure Bogdan didn't see it till late cos of the number of players in the box) and then the keeper drops one for O'Grady to tap in. For 5 minutes I get to feel like a medieval soothsayer, having told the 10 year old I'm babysitting for (true) at half time 'don't worry, we're kicking towards the home end this half, we're bound to score 3.' I believe sarcasm should be taught early. The crowd's rapturous response is soon killed when Bolton grab what proves to be the winner. Steele drops a free kick straight into AN Other Wanderer and it's 2-3. Was it a foul in the 1st place (dunno), did Bolton nick a few yards when taking it (yes) do I feel sympathy for Steele, what with a left footer and a right footer waiting to take the free kick (obviously). Most Reds fans tho will blame Steele despite his saving of 2 one-on-ones and general all-round safe hands. Boooo, rubbish, Steele!
And then we spend 20/30 minutes dinking cute little crosses in for bigger defenders than we have forwards to head away. Yes, that's YOU, Polish bloke and Kennedy. Anyone else not there - check out the corner count. I don't know how many we chipped in for big blokes to head and/or Bogdan to catch. Embarrassing. And before everyone blames O'Brien/Kennedy: we have no-one on the keeper, and we're aiming at midgets. TAKE A F***ING SHORT ONE. It'll be the closest we come to being Barcelona, that's for sure. Hilariously, despite winning every header all day, Bolton bring on ex-Boro GIANT David Wheater to 'bolster' their defence late on. Christ on a bike.
The Happy Wanderers.
Despatches:
The Bobby Hassell 'situation' is starting to nark me now. I can handle it when the manager (and previous) who know far more than I ever will, that Bobby is not the answer. But when the unconscious Etuhu comes back and plays like he still is, while McNulty is dropped to give Wiseman a run out, while Kennedy pretends he's a left back, while we have no defensive midfield cover.....if you can tell me that Bobby Hassell's sole existence is to be 15th choice (any position), well.....if I was him, I'd turn to God too. I don't normally make it my business to feel sorry for 'believers' (that's their job on me, right?) but in this case I have to make an exception. I would rather see my money wasted on seeing Bobby struggle (but die trying, dammit) than any of this lot.
Etuhu - see above. F***ing dreadful. Did a job filling in for Dawson in MIDFIELD but can't defend, nor run up a wing with the ball. But brings way more to the Barnsley team than Sir Bobby of Hassell ever will. Ever. (Head in hands.)
Crainie/Wiseman - please don't play these 2 at the same time. They look so alike I can't decide who to blame. Lets play safe and say WISEMAN - YOU'RE F***ING S***. Things must be bad, cos there I was at HT, having a p*** (I was in the toilet, I'm not an animal) and some guy goes 'what the f*** is Wiseman doing centre half. He can't play centre half. He might be a right back, he's not a centre half.' Well, mister (I had my hands full, so I couldn't talk), from memory, he's not a right back either. But one thing I DO know - he's better than Bobby Hassell (cos Keith and David have told me so).
O'Grady: PURRLEASE. There's a reason why he can't get a game for Sheffield Wednesday. You'll have to work this one out for yourselves. (Clue: it does not involve Washday having amazing centre forwards)
To business:
*** Perkins. Ran around, looked busy, looked like he WANTED it. Never actually did anything WITH it. Sponsors MOTM.
** Polish bloke. Scored, good movement, then spent last half hour perfecting the art of 'dink.'
* Steele. Made 2 or 3 great saves yet will be remembered for the winner. Balls.
Further despatches:
I guess Flitcroft has a master plan, dropping Harewood and Scotland for the Washday One, but really, it's one or the other to partner Dagnall. If this really is a master plan, and we turn over Burnley on Tues, and Man C next week, I am truly an idiot (you can copy and paste this sentence FOREVER). Having seen today, Manchester City must be quaking in their boots.*
*sarcasm.
ps, not entirely 'must know' but the drink du jour was Finlandia and Tropicana (orange) and journey home was enlivened (sort of) by a Celtic fan sticking his nut on some Dirty Leeds oik. A small posse of white sh*te had been baiting this bloke (mainly a woman, the size of a bungalow, who would NOT shut the f*** up). Sadly, I had my back to the 'action' tho I was amused to hear even Bungalow Lil tell him to 'sid down'. Altho he was a young lad, and a bit of a chubster, my spies (Reed, Salisbury - ex-KGB) tell me the Scottish bloke was a brick outhouse and would've killed said oik.
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