Barnsley 2-0 Hull City, Saturday 27th April 2013

‘Premiership?  You're having a laugh!’

Phew!  There we were, lambs to the slaughter.  The Beeb had turned up (both radio and TV highlights show) and those Reds fans from far flung regions with the nouse for these things could pick up the game on Salisbury’s favourite foreign channel ‘Ah’ll Jizz Ne’er thee’.  The Super Reds were, of course, purely there as the fall guys to Hull City’s promotional aspirations.  All the Tigers would have to do is turn up and the game was theirs.  In fact, we weren’t helped by the previous night’s result:  Had Leicester turned over Watford, Hull would’ve been up and their players could’ve come out drunk to wild celebratory scenes before we wiped out the 6 goals difference the Charlton game cost us.  Which makes our victory yesterday even more worthy – Hull came to win and we cleaned them out, bigstyle.

Flitcroft picked an attacking side, aware that results of late hadn’t been good enough with a more defensive psychology.  Obviously, this could’ve gone either way, and if Boyd had hit his pass right, their centre forward would’ve had a tap in early doors.  Thankfully, it was too close to Steele, danger averted.  Then, 4 mins in, Mellis (Mellis!!) breaks on the right.  The angle is poor for a shot, but there’s no support, so he cracks it…I’ve never seen him hit a ball so hard…and it flies off the underside of the crossbar, bounces, spins back, appears to hit the staunchion (sp?) at the back of the goal and bounces out.  We celebrate, but we all know it still needs to be given…and IT IS.  Get the f*** in there.  Only 86 more minutes to hang on.

The 1^st 15-20 mins, Hull looked dangerous, spurning 3 opportunities to make something, but as the match wore on, we absolutely took control.  The Football League Show tipped Steele to have another busy week, a la Forest, but I can’t remember a save he made.  What shots or headers City had generally ended up in the stand.  Thanks lads.  Half time came, still 1-0.  I asked my dad if he was coming to Huddersfield next week.  (He’s one of them fans who only wants to go to Huddersfield if there’s something riding on it - sound familiar to some of you?).  ‘Unlikely’ he said.  (I’d already bought him his ticket).

The teams came out and the old bloke next to me wondered ‘who’d given the better team talk at half time?’  The answer came quick enough.  About 4 minutes in (again) the ball is bouncing around the edge of the Hull penalty area when O’Grady lashes it into the bottom corner.  My God, we are 2-0 up against a side who’ll be playing Premiership football next season, allegedly.  Their fans go deathly silent.  Deathly.  I mean, it was like a morgue at their end as our chants reverberated around the stadium.  This feel good factor feels….good.  I have to say, it wasn’t like the 2^nd goal Marcelle scored to get us promoted, there was no certainty the job was done, but suffice to say, conversation on the train included how bad were Hull?  Were they the worst side to come to our place this season? We were on top from start to finish in the 2^nd half, despite a couple of headers going close for Hull.  What particular impressed me was we didn’t sit back or run the ball to the corner. We carried on going for a 3^rd and even took a midfielder off (Mellis) to stick on a 3^rd centre forward (Scotland).  Later on, as Rose was about to come on, I wondered whether we’d finish with 4 centre forwards on the pitch.  (The last manager to try this out was ‘Mad’ Mel Machin, with the legendary Liddell, Rammell, Saville, Pearson forward line.  Great Days.)

It was one of the most comfortable last 20 minutes of the season.  The Tigers’ fans even joined in with a couple of ‘what a waste of money’ chants, as dozens streamed out before the final whistle.  (A couple of the lads think this may have been directed at the arrival of the stewards and riot police – I’m not so sure.)  Whatever way, what a pathetic lot they were in the away end.  Some ‘support’ for a side so close to promotion.

Being a Big Game, we also got a Big Ref – Chris Foy, loaned from the Premiership for the day.  And what a load of sh*te he was.  At one point I joined in with the away fans’ chant of ‘you don’t know what you’re doing’.  (This after finally giving a decision our way).  I think my 2 favourite decisions were the booking of Etuhu for a perfectly good tackle and then, when Perkins dragged up their player (worth a yellow) after their bloke dived, their bod grabbed Perkins by the throat (red).  Verdict?  A little chat and no cards administered.  Must be different rules in the Prem.

MOTM:
*** O’Grady.  Sponsors MOTM too.  He just gets better and better.  Strong, holds the ball up, capable of running at them, and then, THAT goal.
** Etuhu.  You don’t miss him till he’s gone.  Kelvin is (literally) MASSIVE in the centre of our midfield.
* Crainie.  Him and Wiseman actually LOOK like a partnership.  I’m giving Crainie the mark, cos even tho they look alike, I saw the number 25 being the one with the most clearances, tackles, interceptions.  Players player of the year.  I’m not surprised.  (I said he was the dark horse for fans player of the year.)

Despatches:

Good f***ing job we won, cos otherwise I think there woulda been more made of our PA playing ‘Eye of the Tiger’ before the match.  Lulling them into a false sense of security?  Or just f***ing clueless?

The players were all super, so I’ll mention:

Perkins – player most likely to give Hull summat in the last 20, yet excellent throughout the rest.  Fans player of the year.  I’m not surprised.  (I called it on the train).

Reuben – one particularly great run saw him slalom past 4 opponents (shame he dragged the shot wide with his favoured left).  Excellent throughout, wide left.

Shuk…sorry, DAGNALL.  Ran around causing mayhem yet nothing would drop for him.  I can’t help but feel though his inclusion is key to OTHER players doing well up front.

So there it is.  The Posh try to ruin an otherwise perfect day, but we’re still fighting.  If we play like Satdy, we will DESTROY Huddersfield.  But I’ll settle for 0-1.  A draw and we’re reliant on Posh losing at Palace, or Millwall losing 2 games with a goal difference of minus 4 or higher.  Defeat and we’re down.  It all seems very simple to me.

Drink du jour:  M&S vodka and orange or lager for Timmy.  We cut it fine, thanks to our taxi getting stuck in traffic.  There may have been words had we missed that train, what with Tim and Salisbury on the pitch after the match, while the well mannered folk sat on the minibus, waiting.  Decent train ride back, with a couple of Exeter and a Gill for company.  Andy Jones wanted me to mention something in today’s report, but I can’t remember what.  I’ve forgotten more than most of you will ever know.

‘Dad are you going to Huddersfield next week?’  ‘Of course.’  Was there ever a doubt?

COME ON YOU REDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nottingham Forest 0-0 Barnsley, Saturday 20th April 2013

‘She’s Margaret Thatcher, she’s one of your own.’

Another battling performance away from home against top end of the table.  If we could score we’d be dangerous.  But if we could score, we’d probably be in their half of the field, which didn’t happen a lot to be honest.  From the 1^st minute, when Forest had a penalty appeal turned down, we were up against it.  Not that they were as dangerous as the media made out – yes, Steele saved a few, but apart from a diving save from a point blank header, 1^st half, they were mostly saves I’d expect him to make.  And he did flap at a couple of crosses (again) but together with centre halves Crainie and Wiseman, he kept us in the game.  That and the woodwork (4 times).

The midfield never kept the hold of the ball and when panicked clearances upfield landed to Scotland and O’Grady….or Dagnall and Harewood…they couldn’t hold it up long enough for the midfield cavalry.

*** Steele.  Save after save.  Woulda had a perfect score if he could catch a ball.
** Cranie.  Preverbial rock in defence.  Best DEFENDER we have.
* Wiseman.  Solid partnership with Crainie.

Despatches:
Decent turnout from Barnsley and it’s a shame our Thatcher-loving element weren’t there to join in with ‘Maggie Maggie Maggie DEAD DEAD DEAD’ which I thought was catchy enough to join in.  And I’d have also loved some Londontyke company for the journey back, as a) I had to leg it even to catch the train (that was a close shave) and b) it was held up just after Luton for an hour and a half due to a power failure on the line.  Probably not enough public subsidy, I say. And I didn’t have enough money for a beer AND a chocolate bar.  Three bloody pence short.  Barstewards.  Drink du jour: one can of Stella.

Pre-match, nice walk around Trent Bridge, before meeting Dave in ‘the famous Trent Bridge Inn’ (never heard of it) for a couple.  Pleasant, though a noticeable lack of Barnsley shirts, which concerned me a little.

As for the players, who’s this Andrai (sp?) Jones?  For them not there, I’ll tell you how bad he is.  In a season when Hill (then Flitcroft) would pick anyone in defence ahead of Hassell, this bloke has never had a game.  (If he’s brand new, apologies.)  As a right back, apart from one second half tackle, all I can see he does is stand off the opposition by 6 yards, allowing the player to do whatthehell he likes with the ball.  The best I can say is that this confuses the opposition, who don’t quite know what to do with being able to do whatever they like.  He was so bad, Forest didn’t even TRY and attack Kennedy on the other wing in the 1^st half.  And then there’s Kennedy himself.  Just ask Caton how poor his deadballs are. Once or twice we even got up the park and earned corners, but what’s the point if your left footer (that’s not a euphemism – I think) is going to dink in a nice little outswinger.  Can someone with a right foot bang it in, please?  And then, last kick of the game, we had the chance to nick it.  Free kick outside the box, up pops Kennedy to tamely deflect it off the wall.

Having said all that, what an effort.  We must be down to our last 15 players.  Key individuals such as Golbourne, Hassell, Foster all out injured…Dawson suspended…yet to see our lot battle on…and on…and still we have that chance of staying up.  These players are giving their ALL and deserve all the support they get.  Yes, we might still go down, but not without a fight – and that’s what counts.  All we need to do is beat Hull and Hudders.  It's in our own hands.

Come on you Reds!!!!!!!!

Barnsley 0-6 Charlton Athletic, Saturday 13th April 2013

‘We’re having a party cos Thatcher’s dead.’

2013 GCSE Maths exam.  Team A has just played away at the champions-elect and the side 4^th in the table, conceding one goal in 180 minutes.  How many will Team A concede at home to Team B, who are in the middle of the table, with nothing to play for and with their summer holidays in sight?

Of course, the answer is half a dozen.  There’s been many, many matches this season where we’ve walked out of the ground thinking ‘well, if we go down, THAT’S the match wot’s relegated us’.  Washday home and away, Birmingham home, Blackburn home…Peterboro away.  But yesterday topped them all.  Beaten by six and Dawson sent off for violent conduct, thereby missing 3 of the last 4 matches.

And yet it all started so well.  The team came out the tunnel, no-one fell over and we went over 3 minutes without conceding a goal.  Even by the 4^th minute the writing had been on the wall, Kennedy already being ripped to pieces down the left and it was from there the goal was created. A ball was laid back, the cross was whipped in and Dawson dived to head it away and missed it completely.  The snapshot came in, Steele parried and their bloke reacted quickest.  0-1.

After 20 odd minutes it was 0-2, their players going through 3 or 4 weak willed lily-livered challenges on the edge of the box before drilling home.  Yet still we had hope.  It was only 2, if we pulled a goal back, etc etc.  And at least the manager had made a tactical change: bringing on Scotland for Polish Tom.  Even renowned miserablist Marshall Snr. referred at half time to that ‘being our bad half’.  How little we all knew.

2^nd half, briiliant, the players have had a talking to, we are really gonna take the game to Charlton this half, show them what Barnsley have been about since the turn of the year.  Or repeat the process of the 1^st half and concede an early comical goal.  And so it was that we failed to cut out a cross from their left and Steele went wandering, possibly anticipating the cross and ending up underneath it as it flew to the backpost for a simple header.  Has any team in the existence of football conceded as many goals on the backpost as we have?

It’s soon 4-0 too as a shot straight at Steele goes through him.  Absolutely appalling and Steele spent 20 seconds with his face in the turf, angry, embarrassed, gutted.  I know the feeling.

So, ok, it’s 4-0 and we’ve almost certainly lost.  But an eternal optimist does think there’s always a chance (remember Newcastle v Arsenal last year?) but that hope is positively extinguished when Dawson sees red for a foul in midfield.  I thought it was harsh, it looked like he went for the ball, but Salisbury (who probably had a better view) says he scissored him and had to go.  So now it was a case of how many would Charlton get?

Weirdly, we then had our best period of the game, one goalmouth scramble involving 3 or 4 shots being blocked.  It was that kind of day – Mellis had one cleared off the line in the 1^st half too. Nothing went for us, everything went for them, but they deserved it, pressurising our players a la Barnsley.

The nap hand came when Hassell finally did some defending and blocked 2 shots, only for the ball to roll out left to a loose Addick who Wiseman couldn’t be bothered to track back for.  Nil bloody five at home.  At this point I seriously worried they might beat my record BFC home defeat – THAT game against Chelsea.  But they had Vialli that day.  Who do Charlton have?

Thankfully, Kennedy takes one for the team and prevents a 6^th, not by some quality defending but by being outpaced and taking out their player who’d be clean through.  Thank god.  Kennedy was woeful all day and him missing the next game was about the brightest part of this game.  Ok, so we don’t have another left back at the club, but anyone, ANYONE must be better than Kennedy based on today.  (Paul Gibbs?)

And what’s this?  We’re down to 9 men, we have 3 centre forwards on the pitch and Foster goes up front on his own.  He’s obviously injured – he can’t move, just stands on the centre spot.  All the subs are on so we’re essentially playing with 8 players, so it’s no surprise when Charlton notch again.  Steele saves 2 one-on-ones (too late now, Luke!) and the ball drops for Fuller to curl home from the edge of the box.  The rout is complete.

***  No-one.
** Foster.  Everyone else in defence looked calamitous.
* O’Grady.  Strong, looked promising

Despatches:  what could’ve been done differently?  Everything.  For me, I’d have had Kennedy off early, maybe switched Hassell or Wiseman across…and I’d have had Mellis off for O’Brien.  What with our game being based on putting opponents under constant pressure, we cannot afford to have Mellis strolling around looking fancy.  What does he bring to our midfield?  I’ll tell you what he brings – the ability to make disguised passes, as, just when the opposition think he’s going to thread a ball through the middle, he squares it 10 yards.  Priceless.  He reminds me of McFrail, but without the left foot.

Mind, Dawson was also off the pace (and that was BEFORE his ‘tackle’) and Perkins had one of those games, where his midgety little self was bullied out of it.  Dagnall’s runs also all came to nought, so he might as well have not been there and…and…and.  Christ, what’s the point?   They were all s***.

Drinks du jour:  Would sir like a vodka and orange, vodka and cranberry or a gin and tonic?  Ice and a slice?  Yes please, but there’s no ice, so a slice of lime only.  Thanks to Salisbury, who as ever, had the knife he gets from mummy to make his sarnies with.

And naturally, we had to share a carriage with a bunch of Charlton fans.  Given Tim’s filthy mood after the match, I really feared for them, but everyone chilled the f*** out once drinks were served.

One plus side to this drubbing.  With 2 easy home games against midtable Charlton and Derby to come, our cantor to safety would be an anti climax, after the battle we’ve had to stay up this season.  So I’m pleased, cos I’ll tell you how it’s gonna be.  A draw v Derby, beaten at Forest, before we turn over a Hull side (literally) still drunk from their promotion success and then watch a Huddersfield side who are safe themselves roll over and have their tummies tickled in front of 4000 .

In fact, I is gonna wait till after the defeat at Forest before putting my tenner on that we’ll stay up.  Maximise the odds, like.

Sorted.

MSV Duisburg 2-1 SV Sandhausen, Sunday 7th April 2013

Scarves for sale on the walk to the stadium

Another team on its last legs is Sandhausen, seemingly on a return trip to 3.liga. In Duisburg, they huffed and puffed but they never looked likely to have enough, even if the game was a tale of two penalties – one given, one not. After a smooth ride from Cologne, I alighted at Duisburg Hbf having already seen the MSV Arena from the train. A long walk, but I had an hour and a half, so off I went. With a plan to stick roughly to the train line, I strolled in and out of housing estates, while the stadium buses (#945?) kept passing. The timetable suggested about 20 buses in the hour before kick off, so plenty to choose from.

Sandhausen fans arrive, beers and all.

As it was, I was there in 30 mins, suggesting it can’t be more than a couple of miles or so. With an hour to the main event, I had a saunter around the stadium’s circumference. Down one side, I found a lake with a restaurant (the ‘Seehaus’) and further on, a water skiing lake, including jumps. I don’t remember ever seeing one of these next to an English ground. There was still room to pass an athletics stadium before circling round to MSV’s main stand.

Every stadium should have a water ski park.

Where to watch the match, then? Being a supporter of the underdog, and imagining there’d be plenty of space on the away terrace (I was right there!) I plumped for the away end (€11). With experience, I can compare the two ends thus:

Home end: sunshine, warmth, beer
Away end: chilly in the shade, alkohol-frei beer

It was still an entertaining arrangement though as the Sandhausen hordes (!?) came with a plethora of flags and banners and all stood, in black and white, behind one barrier. A colony of penguins, if you like. As the match went on, 9 or 10 splintered off, I think at the constant bullying of the cheerleader to get behind the team. Certainly, with so few there he could personally eyeball you while pressing you to sing your heart out for the lads. I gazed at the pitch. Hope he didn’t take it personally.

The Zebras' mobile club shop.  (I thought zebras were black and white?)

For the most part, I had a willing accomplice. A Sandhausian, who now lived in Cologne, got chatting to me. He’d come by bike, chained up right outside the away end. I explained that nobody, but nobody, cycles to a game in England. (I once cycled to Crystal Palace from my Camberwell hutch. Never again – the maps don’t show them goddamn hills!) Standing away from the ‘mass’, I think we were the only ones not in black and white.

Entry to the away end.  It's like Hillsborough never happened.

Duisburg went ahead with either a well worked corner routine (their version of events) or appalling defending. Sandhausen gave away a cheap corner, a lame tackle from the left back which should have been won cleanly. The ball was played along the floor to the edge of the box for an onrushing Duisburger to hit home 1st time. As I read that, it sounds better than it was. Still, he kept it down well. Meantime, a pile of Sandhausians stood in the 6 yard box waiting for the inswinger.

Sandhausen ultras

The equaliser came via a smart looping header (though I half expected an offside flag) before the game was decided in the space of a minute. Sandhausen missed a good chance to go ahead and
Duisburg ran to the other end to see the forward round the keeper and get taken out. Blatant pen though surprisingly no sending off. The spot kick was despatched, low to the keeper’s right as he dived left. Then the game petered out, MSV missing a few half chances before Sandhausen had a blatant penalty turned down. What with the offence taking place in a corner of the stadium with about 150 fans (120 of them Sandhausen) you even heard the sound of boot on shin. Still, it’s the ref’s job to get things wrong…right?

I'm loving this design (boring inside though).

At the end, I snuck round to the home end to have it confirmed their beer wasn’t ‘alkohol-frei’ (it wasn’t). Still, this cost Duisburg €5 of my hard-earned, since I wasn’t buying a wurst without a beer. They mustn’t need the money**. I was further disappointed to find the club shop(s) had no badges to sell before I jumped on the 945 back. The journey to the station was quickened by heading down the autobahn for a junction or 2. Dull, but efficient. Luckily, I scraped into a station shop just before they closed and grabbed a couple of beers for the journey. Clever thinking – the train was delayed 20 minutes!

The basics:
€11 entry
€0 everything else.  No badges, no alcohol in the away end.

Actually, I think I bought a programme. I'll have to dig it out.  €2?

Attendance: 11,354

** At the end of the season, Duisburg were relegated for financial irregularities, despite finishing 11th.  Sandhausen was the side reprieved.  What a delicious irony.

The (old?) stadium plan

Welcome to the...Schauinsland Reisen Arena (catchy).

One turnstile entrance

Perpendicular roof, rounded corners...love it!

Standing tickets for sale here

Those Sandhausen ultras again

Getting ready for the teams coming out

The teams line up

Towards the home end

back of home end terrace

Borussia Mönchengladbach 1-0 SpVgg Greuther Fürth, Saturday 6th April 2013

Borussia Mönchengladbach 1-0 SpVgg Greuther Fürth, (Bundesliga)

Fearful of a sellout, we got there early. Too early. The stadium wasn’t actually open and the only people sharing the bus from the railway station (#17, stand 4) turned out to be stadium stewards, resplendent in their club jackets. Doh. Thankfully, there was much to be admired around Borussia Park, such as…an enormous club shop, a branch of Aldi and some other supermarket or other. That was it. This place is in the middle of nowhere, miles from the centre of town and anything approaching a bar. Still, there was a café in the supermarket, and thank god there was too, since it was bloody freezing outside.

Talk about getting in early...

Still, it wasn’t all bad news. Despite the ticket booths not being open 4 hours before KO, it turned out one could buy tickets in the club shop. 2 tickets for the seats, please. (I was treating Sarah). Sorry, only standing left. Excellent! At least I tried, and I now only had to part with €29 (€14.50 each). This was the opposite of Hannover, where previously the (cheap) standing was sold out but seats were-a-plenty.

There was a reason no-one stood here

So it was then, 50 odd thousand packed Borussia Park for the visit of rock bottom Greuther Fürth (and they didn’t bring a lot). We stood at the top of the terrace (Nord Kurve?), not wanting too many flags interrupting our view of the pitch. Initially, we’d stood above a gangway. Perfect – what a view! But I should have known there was a rabbit off when no-one else had got there first. Sure enough, 5 mins later a man and a (big) drum hung his instrument (ooh-err missus) over its balcony. Time to move.

Fabulous stadium (though I’m not too keen on the ‘spiders’ legs’ decorating the outside). The Nord Kurve, a huge terrace behind the goal, with seats above, while in the far (SE) corner, another chunk of terracing was cut out of the seating for the away fans, with their seats next to them. While a few hundred Fürth fans gathered on the terrace, you’d be lucky if two dozen took up the seats. So there WERE seats to be had!

Borussia Park, home of Borussia.

Another disease picked up from the World Cup...

The teams come out

Borussia also had not one cheerleader willing the fans on, but two. And as I settled into the error-strewn nature of this game, I got to wondering: are there awards in the Bundesliga for bestest / keenest / loudest cheerleader? Cos these two weren’t as good as I’ve previously witnessed. Half the time, it looked an afterthought as to what they were there for. And when they did start something off, they quickly stopped to turn around and see the action, hoping the fans would continue. On the whole, they didn’t. The Nord Kurve wasn’t the liveliest home end I’ve ever seen in Germany, despite the numbers. Maybe most of them were yearning for a seat???

Gotta stay warm

A female ultra

A male ultra

As I said, the match was poor. It looked like nothing-to-play-for versus going-down. Yet Borussia were chasing a Europa League place. (Perhaps, like in England, it’s seen as some kind of poisoned chalice?) Fürth broke again and again but had no pace up front, while both sides tried to outdo each other in poor passing. In the end, an awful game was decided in a few second half minutes. Fürth had a man sent off (two yellows, two poor tackles) and Borussia scored on a counter. Another poor pass was so poor it missed the intended recipient and tempted the Fürth keeper into a kamikaze run out of goal. The left winger, beating him to it, simply knocked the ball inside for De Jong to sidefoot into an empty net. The kind of goal your nan could have scored.

Prowling the touchline

I'm liking the branded goal nets

Half time.  Yes, that is a horse (foal) in goal.

Still, 10-man Fürth countered several times and were well worth a draw were they not quite so bad. This left them something like 15 points off safety with 6 games left. It showed. After the match, something resembling the horrific queue at West Ham’s tube station awaited us, as thousands of fans waited for buses to the city centre. Being Germany, there was a subtle difference: bus upon bus arrived and we can’t have been waiting for longer than 20 minutes. There’s a lot to be said for this ‘efficiency’ malarkey. (Can someone also tell Southern Trains that Brighton’s home games finish about 5pm and to have a few carriages on, pls?) At Mönchengladbach station, Sarah noticed a couple of ‘football specials’, taking fans to Düsseldorf and Duisburg. THAT, dear boy, is service.

Attendance: 50,206

Barnsley 2-0 Leicester City, Monday 1st April 2013

‘Are we going to stay up?’  ‘No.’

After the Washday debacle, the Super Reds show what supporting this lot is all about as they go on to destroy a play-off chasing Foxes side who’d even had an extra days rest over the Easter w/end.  Like it wasn’t enough to have the most expensively assembled side in the division.  God, did they look poor.  Right from the off we were at ‘em, encapsulated by our early goal.  Wiseman steps out to intercept, then gets his head down, runs down the wing and drills a low ball across the goal for their centre half to lash home.  A finish of which our forwards can only marvel.  (Actually, that statement doesn't work these days does it?  Nevermind, never let facts get in the way of a good comment.)

Chances then came and went, before O’Grady capped an awesome performance (can you see who DIDN’T play 2 days earlier!?) by powering home a one-on-one after a smart move. Scotland then had a weak penalty saved after a foul on Perkins and just to make sure Steele didn’t have an empty afternoon, momentum then swung Leicester’s way and Steele made a couple of one-on-one saves, like we’re used to.  Overall, I’d have said 6-3 woulda been a fair result, though both managers agreed that we coulda won by 5 or 6.  The only question is whether Leicester will wait till the season’s end to give Pearson the bullet, cos his lot have NO chance of promotion on this showing.

*** O’Grady.  Sponsors MOTM too.  Held the ball up, initiated attacks, cool finish. Quietened down in the last 20 mins, as they all did (Steele excepted).

** Wiseman.  When not marauding down the right he was covering the centre halves when Leicester broke.

* Hassell.  Held the defence together, even after Foster came on to try and ruin all the previous good work.

Despatches: 

Crainie was also excellent.  Shame his injury allowed Foster to come on and about the 1^stthing he did was get pulled to the wing then get outpaced, allowing their bloke clean through.  Steele to the rescue.  That coulda been a tricky last 15 or so.  I read the Chron and now I realise why Hassell is finally getting a game - the manager was bleating about only having 5 fit defenders.  (Still, am as amazed as anyone that Foster is the 5th!)

Will we stay up?  My dad, he say no.  But given we only beat sides at the top....and most of our games are against sides at the top...you never know.

Drink du jour.  Me and Andy polished off a bottle of vodka with premium M&S jus d’orange. Then back at St P, you know when Andy’s got work next day – I’ve never seen him drink a pint of tap water before.  Pussy.

Come on you Reds!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Washday 2-1 Barnsley, Saturday 30th March 2013

I can't figure which headline is worse, so choose your own:
‘Piggies bring home the bacon’ or ‘Saturday is Washday as Barnsley are taken to the cleaners’ 

Disaster.  If we go down it’s cos of these ba5tards.  Home and away we’ve played this bunch off the park and home and away we’ve lost.  This was particularly galling given they opened the scoring when we were well on top – both on the pitch and in the stands.  It looked so easy.  They’d hoof the ball back to us at every opportunity, we’d play around them, and with Scotland on for Dagnall, it looked a matter of time before we scored.  Then we were suckered.

Kennedy went wandering up the pitch (he’s not fast, he needs a head start) and the ball was played neatly behind him.  The ensuing low cross was put on a plate for Madine to slide home.  It was the only bit of football from Washday the whole match (why didn’t they try it more often?)  Tell me if I’m wrong, but I’m given to believe Washday consider themselves something of a ‘footballing’ team.  Well, they spent most of this match banging long balls to the edge of our box, hoping to feed off scraps.  Perhaps they’d done their homework, what with our lack of a commanding centre half.

The 2^nd goal was more like.  Another hoof forward, this time from a centrally located free kick, and their left back steals in behind Wiseman to head home .  Criminal.  NO team should concede from a free kick there.  On closer (TV) inspection, Steele has to take the blame, the guy headed in from about 6 yards out from a 40 yard hoof.

The ref then nearly makes it 3-0 with a comedy penalty award.  From where we were (opposite end) it looked abit harsh, with the ball smashing into Hassell.  On telly it looked OUTRAGEOUS, as the ball smacked into his FACE while his arms were down by his SIDE. So it wasn’t even the right trajectory.  Well played the linesman, too, who obediently said F.ALL.  Rule number one of Ref Club – don’t make the other look ridiculous by communicating and ensuring you come to the correct decision.  Madine sheepishly shot wide.  Odejayi-esque.

There was still time for the ref to TRY and even it up tho, giving their bloke a 2^nd yellow for encrochement – the 1^st yellow I’ve seen for this bookable offence in YEARS.  Along with goalkeepers holding the ball for more than 6 seconds and diving off their line for penalties before the ball is kicked, I thought it was the rule that time forgot.  Oh, and that other thing I find irritating, taking throw-ins from nowhere near where the ball went out.

Anyways, Mellis bagged a smart effort from the edge of the box and we had 5 minutes of never really coming close before those blue and white stripey ba5tards could celebrate.

*** Marlon.  Excellent battling up front.  In particular, I like his ability to beat players by going THROUGH them.  The amount of times he got tackled, yet still came away with the ball, was obscene.  Strong as an ox.
** Perkins.  Lots of good tackling.
* Mellis.  Scored and, although losing quite a bit of ball, it was usually while TRYING to do something, ie, taking players on, not simply passing the ball sideways.

Despatches:
Reuben came on and had one especially brilliant effort tipped over.  Could be coming back at just the right time.  Blamed by some for not tracking back for the 1^st goal tho.

‘Where did Bobby play this week?’ (Sarah).  Centre half.  Foster left on the bench.  Hurrah. About time.  While Bobby’s not the biggest, I can’t lay either of their goals at the feet of the centre halves.  As for Kennedy, he’s never a left back.  Where’s Golbourne!!??

A pleasant pre-match pint in the Fat Cat (I can see the appeal) but the highlight of my day was Selwood flagging down a taxi outside Hillsborough after the match, meaning I didn’t have to spend any more time in their little piggy company than I had to.  My god, I hope they go down – with or without us.  And of course, to compound matters, every other cnuting team at the bottom won and now we’re last but one.

F***ing f*** f***.

Drink du jour: M&S Belgian lager.  (Note to Andy: make sure you bring your bottle opener next match, mine’s broken).

ps, good to know the Reds crowd are such fans of Dutch techno pioneers 2 Unlimited.  I do love that chant:  Marlon, Marlon Marlon, Marlon Marlon, Marlon Marlon Harewood.  Jason, Jason Jason, Jason Jason, Jason Jason Scotland to the tune of 2 Unlimited’s ‘No LImit'. You know the one – TECHNO TECHNO TECHNO TECHNO!!!  Number 1 in the charts before the Bluebells ‘Young At Heart’  No?  Oh well…