Wednesday, 30 December 2015

BFC 4-2 Blackpool, Monday 28th December 2015

‘We can still make the play-offs’ (PMSL, ROFL, etc)
Modern art, Barnsley-style.

A late Xmas present, courtesy of Salisbury; Hourihane’s been linked with a move to Preston (reserves).  ‘How much will we have to pay them?’ my dad asked.  Sadly, I’m reminded of the meaning of the word ‘rumour’ when I saw his presence in the team line up.  ‘Surely we wouldn’t risk playing someone we’re about to sell’.  Correct. He’s going nowhere.
Having said that, my dad was giving this one a miss.  Rather than interrupt his journey home from London, he took the train direct to Durham.  ‘I can do without watching that rubbish.’  I know what he means.  Still, all started incredibly brightly – my pre-match Erdinger was suitably expensive and my chish ‘n’ fips were glorious.  So glorious, in fact, I prioritised them over getting to the ground on time.  No worries, it’s not like I’ll miss owt.  I even took the extra time to go upstairs, given I was without the aged.  As I ascended the staircase at the away end of the Pukka Pies East Stand, I heard a cheer.  Not necessarily a loud one, but one that obviously suggested the presence of a goal.  I thought I’d (not) seen us concede another, till I saw the Blackpool lot sat on their hands looking miserable.  1-0 to the Super Reds!

No rush

I took my seat with Paddy (Craig: he was asking after you; he said his biggest memory of you was when you jumped on him and cuddled him to death when Odejayi scored THAT goal against Chelsea.  He says he doesn’t like men kissing him) and I asked about the goal. Cue a debate on who crossed it for Winnall to score a ‘diving header’.  Was it the 6ft odd black lad or the midget white bloke?  Later, on the train, I had the same debate with Andy and Andy, who disagreed.  If you can’t tell Wabara and Isgrove apart, what chance have you got?  (Seems it was Isgrove, back from the dead).  But my later sources said it was no ‘diving header’. It was a ‘stooping header’.  Feet must leave the ground for it to be ‘diving’. (The debate made a change from ‘how s*** is Hourihane / Winnall / Lee Johnson.)


Hourihane lines one up to hit the wall

Half time, still 1-0. Reedy and Salisbury were adamant Blackpool were one of the worst sides to play us this season. I kept shtum.   At full time, I was convinced they were right.  Without a shadow of a doubt, in the last 6 weeks I have seen 3 of the worst sides in this division (4, if you include us).  What do Blackpool, Colchester and Oldham have in common???


And it’s not just me with a positive outlook at Oakwell, as Paddy warned they were going to equalise about 5 seconds before they did.  As we lost the ball on the halfway line and our attacking midfield (no names, no packdrill) sauntered back, the ball was switched to their right, played back across, dummied, knocked back and their guy ran past a jogging Hourihane to hit a blinder from 20 odd yards.  Great goal (from their point of view).  Avoidable (from ours).  ‘We have a soft underbelly’ said no-one who answers to the name ‘Little Lee’.  

The Ponty

(As an aside, top TV detective Luther calls my pointing out of Hourihane’s faults to prove my assertion ‘prejudicial theory’.)  But I can’t help being right.  (Wind yer necks in, I’m just teasing.)  This is the same central midfielder who, Little Lee told us 2 weeks ago, ‘could now play in a midfield two’.  Well, in my day, one reason midfielders got picked for midfield was cos they could run from one end of the pitch to the other and back again.  Conor can’t – he plays on a hill, downwards when we’re attacking, uphill when we lose the ball.  At the argument’s most basic level, I put it to Wadd that if we lose him (lose??) to Preston, let’s see where we end up in the table without him.  I’ll wager higher than we are now.


The old Main Stand

Course, scoring against the Super Reds only makes ‘em angry (hmm…)  Two minutes later Isgrove (him again) cuts inside from the right, beats 2 or 3 Oranges and lays it on a plate for Winnall to slide it home into the far corner from the edge of the box, a finish so good I thought it was Hammill.  For a start, Winnall can’t even kick it that far (we saw this in the first half with one of his pathetic 20 yard ‘attempts’ bobbling to the keeper).  Cleverly though, he was able to use the pace of the lay back while wrong footing a keeper who saved nothing all day.

With the cheers barely dying down, we’re at it again.  How s*** are Blackpool?  About 10 times we broke 3 on 3 and this time, it’s Winnall doing Hourihane’s job and delaying the pass for the overlapping player (Watkins).  If he was a cleverer footballer, I’d swear Winnall did it on purpose so that Watkins would have to give him the ball back for the hattrick. But he’s not, and Watkins, instead of crossing for Winnall, cuts inside one, cuts inside another and then buries it with the outside of his right foot.  Class. 
427.  They're even more depressed than us.

Then for half an hour it’s the Adam Hamill show, as he teases, torments and generally showboats to zero effect.  But it’s all good fun, and you can do this when you’re 3-1 up to a side as terrible as these. Eventually he’s subbed and he’s none too happy about it, booting the dugout seat.  Ahh, good to see he’s as mature as ever.  Then it’s panic time: the Oranginas only go and score.  There’s a ball forward down our right, the ball is helped on by a Blackpool hand, a Reds defender falls over and their bloke has a simple opportunity.  Our ability to concede from nothing is something else.  ‘We have a soft underbelly’ says nobody in a position to do anything about it.

By now, I was loving it. What a fantastic game!  And with the side devoid of its star player, what money would you have on Hourihane stepping forward, 3 on 2, ignoring my calls to pass it wide and hammering a 20 odd yarder into the bottom right with his left foot?  Sweet.  Only it’s not Conor bl**dy Hourihane – it’s young Matty Templeton, on as sub, making his home debut.  This must be Salisbury’s finest moment of the season, as he’d been raving about Templeton in the under 21s in the pub, pre-match.  And peeps were wondering how we’d cope if we lost Hourihane.  (Answer: get someone in on loan, obvs).

Been a while since the scoreboard said 'Barnsley 3'

*** Pearson.  Obviously Blackpool were beyond clueless, their tactics were appalling.  A la the Reds under Bassett, they were so strung out, every time we attacked it was 3 v 3 or 4 v 4, but there was a reason we had so much of the attacking ball – he’s called Ben Pearson.  Won tackle after tackle (have a look at how we won the ball for our 2nd and 4th) and even set up the 1st with a fantastic pass to Wabara (I’m told)  Even found time late on to run 25 yards to berate the linesman. THERE’S effort for you. 

** Super Sammy Winnall.  I always said he was great (!)  Scored 2, set one up, what more do you want?  Even found time to get hurt (as always) and chirp at the ref (no change there).

* Isgrove
.  Twitter MOTM.  Who needs Toney?  Isgrove did what wingers are paid for: beat players, set up chances. Where’s he been hiding during his loan spell?


Londontykes' Top 3:
1. Pearson

2. Winnall
3. White

Despatches:

Starting at the back, Davies failed to command his area but made a couple of great saves as well as a couple more deemed offside.  Why don’t the defenders and the midfield do more to protect him?  I can’t say I noticed Long or Mawson, this week’s central defensive partnership, since Blackpool repeatedly wandered offside.  They were AWFUL.  Yet still scored 2.  Wabara looked better than he has been, though still delivered a couple of appalling crosses when in good positions (though the one he laid on for Winnall’s first was quality; I’ve seen it on telly).  White again looked excellent down our left, a real attacking threat.  And he did rescue the centre halves once, running across to clear a ball on the volley as they completed their turning circle.  Hourihane was his usual.  As well as the aforementioned inabilities of his game, he had 2 shots today.  One was blocked, while in the 1st half, we got a free kick right of centre, ideal for the left footer.  I asked Paddy which seat he would hit.  ‘The wall’ he relied.  Paddy was right.  Watkins played well, beating players, not being knocked off the ball and notching. I’m warming to him.

Onwards and upwards!  Up to 19th.  Steady, Reds, steady.

Drink du jour: Erdinger, more wheat beer and a bottle of red.  Had to keep a lid on it, we had a minor in tow (Master Reed).

Away: 427.  Very sparse.  Blackpoo fans must be even more depressed than we are.

The Damage:
£35 train




Sunday, 20 December 2015

BFC 0-2 Wigan Athletic, Saturday 19th December 2015

'Something better change' (Jonesy was listening to the Stranglers this morn; how apt)



Wet and dreary Grove Street

Where to start?  Well, how about a tale from said Mr Jones on the train last nite.  He'd seen a local newspaper earlier and some kid had been telling the court he doesn't want to live with his mam anymore - she beats him.  'What about living with your dad?' the judge asks.  'He beats me too.' 'Well' says the judge.  'Who DO you want to live with?'  'I want to live with Barnsley FC.  They dunt beat anybody!'

Ho ho ho.

I have been trawling through the last few Chrons, courtesy of Salisbury.  Is there an article EVERY week from a player telling me we're 'good enough to go on a run'?  (I thought we had done - didn't we lose 8 league games in a row?)  Anyway, Toney should be pleased this week, cos he's quoted as saying 'I'm not happy unless I'm not scoring' (hopefully editing negligence.  Does the Chron even HAVE sub-editors?)  But my own favourite piece was Little Lee telling us he doesn't like the fans singing their ironic chants...'How s*** must you be?' etc  Well, little fella, I don't like the irony that YOU'RE still managing MY football team despite week after week of total tactical and team selection incompetence.  The Wigan journo previewed this game by saying 'I think they (Wigan) can get promotion but, if they don't, then it will be their own fault.  It won't be because teams have got better players than them. or that they have bigger budgets.'  Sound familiar?  How can a team containing Hamill, Toney, Hourihane and Pearson look so s***?


The Wigan Warriors...oops, wrong sport.

Despatches:  Pearson.  I'll start with him.  He looked a quality player when he 1st came, but slowly, and surely, he's getting WORSE.  Who do I blame for that?  I've been wondering what his level is and I think we saw it yesterday: not as good as David Perkins.  Lordy.  Hourihane.  A crowing Molly was asking me in the pub pre-match what I think of the legend now.  I said he'd had a very good month (that makes 2; the other one was August/Sept 2014).  Well, how s*** was he yesterday? Delivered 3 awful balls in the 1st 5 minutes, 2 into the keeper's arms and one into the stand.  Later highlights included giving Williams a hospital ball (like Williams needs a hospital ball!) and hoofing a free kick over the bar.  Still, the latter didn't matter, we were 2 down and into injury time. So much for Little Lee worrying that his form will have 'alerted the sleeping giants'.  The piece in the Chron sounded more like a sales pitch.  Lee - keep it up.  I can't see anyone making a bid myself.  (On another note, how comes Waddington and Molly are the positive ones;  they haven't even seen the games we HAVE won lately, Oldham and Colchester).  Toney looked a bit lost, but nobody thought Winnall should stay on the pitch instead.  Winnall. What a player.  Usually does nothing a forward should do, but notches.  Yesterday, he had 2 glorious chances; the 1st one he scuffed (aren't most of his goals scuffed?) while the 2nd, he controlled the pass of the match from Williams (a reverse pass putting Winnall clean through) and while he controlled it and dawdled a defender had the cheek to nick it from him.  Can Little Lee talk up Winnall's chances of being signed by someone else too?  Another who was bloody awful (the worst?) was Wabara.  This is a player whose contract is up in a fortnight.  Say what you like about Brooce Dire, but he was always on point when facing contract talks.  All Wabara does is prevent another of our youth from progressing (Bree - a player who was considered good enough when we were in the top half of the league last season).  These coaches and Chief Execs of ours talk a good game about developing our own players, then bring in loanees and free transfers to take their places.  Anyway, I'd get shut of Wabara.  There must be better out there, even if it's not Bree.  On a loanee note, it was good to see Long get a  game.  So it took 10 minutes for a cross inbetween him and Wabara for a Wiganer to miss a simple header.  Note to Little Lee: our defence will never get any better chopping and changing. Defences have to learn to play with each, learn to communicate.  Oh.  (To be fair, it does look like Long is quite vocal).  It was Mawson's turn to be dropped.  Dropped, while that disaster Nyatanga, plays on.  'How s*** must you be?' etc Watkins was either so-so (everyone else) or 'complete dogs***, the worst player I have EVER seen in a Barnsley shirt (Jonesy).  I'm ambivalent, and even when I watch him closely, think he's not great...but he's not that bad either. Better than Isgrove, tho, who sat on the bench 'earning' his loanee wages.

The Ponty, 60 mins in.

Finally, FINALLY, I heard my first chants of 'We want Johnson out.  We want Johnson out.' Why, it's only Salisbury's cousin Chris in the East Stand lower, who's had enough.  A few of us joined in, but most had already voted with their feet: they'd left.  (The match was still going on, but there was NO HOPE.)

***I learnt this morning Colchester have lost 7 in a row.  Puts our victory last week into perspective, does it not?
Oh yes, the match.  We were AWESOME for 10 minutes, piling forward (how else would Hourihane have 3 chances to cross a ball early doors?)  Mind, Wigan still missed THAT chance while we never had a shot on target.  Then they score, completely against the run of play.  It's a sweet, sweet move 2 or 3 quick one touch passes (were you watching and learning Little Lee, Conor...Winnall?) leaving Kellett to curl home with his left foot (making a run between left back and centre half).  Cut to pieces.
The Ponty, 87 mins in.

Second half, if we did pass it around, it was on the halfway line going nowhere.  The most dangerous we looked was either when Hamill and Aidey White linked up well, or when Wigan were trying their short goalkick routine.  The latter looked like an accident waiting to happen and sure enough Williams nicked one off the right back, bore down on goal...then made the mistake of passing it to Winnall to scuff.  Did I say how much I 'rate' the latter? 

And then Wigan bag a second.  I'm still not sure what happened.  Suffice to say, it looked like play had stopped, I turned to look at something else, and when I looked back, our keeper was haring towards a ball he was always going to finish second to and their bloke waltzed round him to plant the ball in the net.  Rumour has it the keeper f***ed up.  Or the centre half.  One of them.

West Stand

*** Aidey White.  I don't think much of his defending, but the left back was our best attacker.

** Williams.  His best 24 minutes yet.
* No-one.  Even Hamill had an offday, but if you want to see how good he HAS been, check out these Wigan Paint Pot trophy highlights:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cMHidd0eoLw

Londontykes' Top 3:
1. White
2. RWilliams
3. Davies
Drink du jour:  wheat beer all the way folks;  Sainsburys had a choice of Weihenstephaner, Erdinger and Franziskaner.  We didn't go mad and I'd forgotten what a Sunday without a hangover felt like.  I didn't even fall asleep on the bus.  But at least the Super Reds lost, so one weekend tradition remained.

The Damage:
c£30 train

Johnson Out Johnson Out Johnson Out Johnson Out Johnson Out Johnson Out Johnson Out Johnson Out Johnson Out Johnson Out Johnson Out Johnson Out Johnson Out Johnson Out Johnson Out

Sunday, 13 December 2015

Colchester United 2-3 BFC, Saturday 12th December 2015

‘Aidey Aidey Aidey Aidey Aidey White’ (apparently)


The injury list for this one was lengthy, with 83 year old Reds legend Gerry failing a late fitness test, joined in the physio room by Dasher and Prancer and Donner and Blitzen (Bob, HIcksy, Loko and Dave).  Not to worry, our merry band of warriors met up in that Nicholson's pub I don't rate for a pint before offski we went, Exec-style, to the Weston Homes Community Stadium.  Catchy.

After-match musings

Arrived at Colchester station and picked up a stray.  A guy with a Yorkshire accent, never seen him before. Anyway, we had a couple of spares so we offered him a place with us in the box, and, despite having a complimentary ticket, he was in.  Turned out to be Aidey White's dad.  And yes, I told him I was very disappointed that his son had nicked my 2nd favourite player's place.



But what's this?  Little Lee has been listening to the fans!  Must be all that reading of the bulletin board.  He's gone with TWO up front.  Winnall and Toney.  He's DROPPED that midget loan bloke from Southampton, who no-one will remember the name of in a year's time.  (A week's time?)  We have come to slay the beasts, to conquer Colchester in scenes unused to since Roman times.  Will Little Lee be roaming the streets later, on an elephant, a la Claudius?  (I'll never know, we got a train back).

The view from the box (where our seats were).

It's soon 1-0.  To us.  Winnall tries a deft header out wide, it hits a defender, falls into our path, it's knocked to Toney who brilliantly turns and then threads a through ball to Winnall...who rounds the keeper and is taken out.  Even I didn't think he'd dived this time, but fortunately the ball runs loose to Hourihane who knocks it into an empty net.  It's called GETTING MEN IN THE BOX.  Simples.
We are so dominant, I'm not sure they had a shot, but we do and it's 2-0. Hammill, absolute class act that he is, strokes the ball (till it purrs) into the far corner.  It took an aeon, but it's all in the placement - and the defender shielding the keeper's sight.  Our seats were actually outside the box, so word up to the Col U lads beside us who didn't take umbrage at our celebrations.

Are they deliberately taunting Reds fans?

HT and it's beer o'clock, one of us nipping in to order our beers early.  Me, I like to drink mine while cold, so I stood inside gazing through a gap in the blinds.  Seemed like we couldn't get out of our half for 5 mins...till we did and we scored.  I've since learnt it was 15 mins into the 2nd half.  Did I miss 10 minutes?  Anyway, another sublime bit of skill by Hamill freed up Pearson (?) to cross it for Toney to direct a header home. Great move, great cross, great header.  Who knows what the future holds for Toney, but I'll wager anyone that he plays at a higher level than George Bloody Waring (who?).  Big, powerful, fast, mobile, can head...and on today's showing is not short of skill either. Later, Reds coach Heckingbottom confirmed what we already know; this is one loan signing WITHOUT the plan to sign him permanent.  He's too good for us.


A handy foot rest

Then the Super Reds remember I've got a bet on them to LOSE.  (True, the betting slips were taken pre-match; in my defence, I wasn't the only one who lost money.)  Pearson's pathetic clearance hits Wabara 10 yards away.  Still, I'd have thought any player of dexterity coulda got out of the way, but no, he's no Lippizaner (one for Bob there), more pit pony.  It cannons off him and with Pearson stuck at right back playing everyone onside, we have turned possession into a goal for them in...what?...3 seconds?  I could have laughed.  Oh yeah - I DID laugh.

The home end (and police control box: hide the beer!)

There is NOTHING to worry about though.  We are STREETS ahead of them.  But no-one likes to see a hammering (!) and we duly oblige them with a second, a free kick is controlled and banged in on the volley off the underneath of the bar, while our centre half (Mawson?) stands with his hand in the air, appealing for offside.  Good effort, Alfie, son.  Championship class.
While the Londontyke hoardes bay for Little Lee to send a sub (defender) on to shore us up, I completely agreed with Little Lee:  don't make changes, we'll score 4 or 5.  Ok, we didn't, but the game was comfortably seen out. No need to panic, Captain Mainwaring.

How BFC are best viewed

So, we retreated back to our exec box to chew over the marvellousness of our victory, and watch part of one of the most convoluted draws I've ever seen (the Euro Championship).  Luckily, Tim (who else?) had invited Heckingbottom up for a bit and it gave me chance to thank him for scoring a pen at Wembley the Millenium Stadium (he didn't correct me, he knew what I meant) - cos I could hardly tell our current 1st team coach he's probably the 2nd worst left back I've seen at the club (of those who got a decent run of games).

*** Hammill.  Quiet game - and STILL the difference.  Given he's only signed for 6 months, fans should buy one of them there half season tickets, then sack it off at the end of the season when he leaves.  Makes sense to me.

** Toney.  My favourite Newcastle player by a country mile (though I had a thing for Dyer and Bowyer while they were fighting each other on the pitch).  Does everything that...blah blah blah.

* Winnall.  Dunno if this is left field, but despite not scoring, I thought he played a decent part in our attack.  Good link up play, stood on his feet.  Hourihane was also outstanding 1st half.

Londontykes' Top 3:
1. Hammill

2. Hourihane

3= Toney of Newcastle / Watkins

The away corner.  Numbers dwindling with every game under Little Lee.
Despatches:
I'l have to start with Mr White, junior.  Had one thing to do all game and f***ed it up, trying to be clever in our half and losing it.  Thankfully came to nought.  Interesting chat with dad tho on the lowdown of how his career is panning out.  Let's just say dad is not the big fan of Redfearn that we are.  No-one shone in defence, cos they had nowt to do - and still conceded 2.  'We've got a soft underbelly' says the manager, who's very good at pointing stuff out.  The 5th member of the attack (Marley...can't remember..the one Jonesy hates) well, he didn't seem to do much.  And we were so on top at one point Pearson burst past 3 players to be nearly clean through.  I can see why they'll be relegated (but they DID beat Altrincham!)

I thought Little Lee got it spot on today.  Let's out-attack feeble opposition.  Guess what?  It worked! Though who was that on the pitch 15 mins after full time, pointing down the right wing, telling Little Lee what he should do, etc?  Why, it's Bullsh*t Ben!  No wonder Little Lee isn't getting the sack, the puppetmaster is holding the strings.  God help us.

And call me an optimist, but there's no way we're going down while Adam Hamill is fit and still a Barnsley player. 

Drink du jour: pricey lager (Nicholsons) average lager (Col U) decent weissbier (the brauhaus in Liverpool St) Oh, and yes, I fell asleep on a bus.  Not sure how I came to be in New Cross (whatthehell bus was I on from Liverpool Street?) but at least it was walkable.  2 miles walkable. Then decided to watch the highlights...fell asleep again, finally got to bed at 6 after the cat woke me up headbutting me into giving him some breakfast.

Onwards and upwards!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


The away end (last season)

Wonder who sponsors this stand?

Home end pre-match

Little Lee about to be interviewed for Sky

Monday, 7 December 2015

Welling United 0-5 Carlisle United, Sunday 6th December 2015

Welling United 0-5 Carlisle United, FA Cup 2nd Round (att. 2,028)
Welcome to ...

In the week when Carlisle suffered the heartache of being waterlogged (again) and with my own team already out of the FA Cup, I decided to make the shortish journey to Park View Road to see another cup shock.  Only what I saw was a thoroughly professional performance from the professionals against one of the National League's few part timers.  0-5 and an absolute battering, with Charlie Wyke bagging a hattrick.  Easy.


The stadium was a 15 minute walk up the High Street, but the real highlight was the programme shop in the home end.  My advice? Get there early and have a good root through, they've allsorts.  I left with a pile.  If only I'd had time to look through them all, for obscure away games.

Another tip is to avoid the burgers at all costs. It tasted like one of those boiled burgers you used to get in the 80s.  Has no-one told Welling nobody eats those things anymore?  Grim.  And I don't like putting my head in a bin to spit food out, disappointing when there's no other hot food aside from chips of brightly yellow hue.  I settled for a Snickers.

The stadium looked vaguely normal, an old main stand on one side, with a more modern structure opposite (which housed the away fans) and two open terraced ends.  However, on closer inspection, it seems the newer stand belongs to an entirely different football club: Erith and Belvedere.  How bizarre!  (I later found out Welling share the ground with Erith, but having their own HQ on either side of the stadium is a handy little arrangement.)  Do Welling United need the permission of Erith to house away fans in there, as per today?  Or, as nominal landlords, do they get dibs on everything?  Is this side of the stadium closed when 'lesser' sides visit?  Questions, questions.

The magic of the cup.
Fans entering Park View Road
The away 'end'
The Main Stand
The Carlisle 'end'.
Welcome to....somewhere else.

Turnstiles at the away (Erith) end.
The view from behind the goal: Park View Road.
The teams line up.
Fans behind the goal.
Probably not as busy as I'd expected (hoped?)
The Main Stand
Refreshment kiosk.  Avoid at all costs.
All in one floodlight and roof support.
That's Carlisle missing a penalty.  Honest.
Match action
Carlisle fans
A rare sighting of a camera gantry at Welling.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...