‘We can still make the play-offs’ (PMSL, ROFL, etc)
Modern art, Barnsley-style. |
A late Xmas present, courtesy of Salisbury; Hourihane’s been linked with a move to Preston (reserves). ‘How much will we have to pay them?’ my dad asked. Sadly, I’m reminded of the meaning of the word ‘rumour’ when I saw his presence in the team line up. ‘Surely we wouldn’t risk playing someone we’re about to sell’. Correct. He’s going nowhere.
Having said that, my dad was giving this one a miss. Rather than interrupt his journey home from London, he took the train direct to Durham. ‘I can do without watching that rubbish.’ I know what he means. Still, all started incredibly brightly – my pre-match Erdinger was suitably expensive and my chish ‘n’ fips were glorious. So glorious, in fact, I prioritised them over getting to the ground on time. No worries, it’s not like I’ll miss owt. I even took the extra time to go upstairs, given I was without the aged. As I ascended the staircase at the away end of the Pukka Pies East Stand, I heard a cheer. Not necessarily a loud one, but one that obviously suggested the presence of a goal. I thought I’d (not) seen us concede another, till I saw the Blackpool lot sat on their hands looking miserable. 1-0 to the Super Reds!
No rush |
I took my seat with Paddy (Craig: he was asking after you; he said his biggest memory of you was when you jumped on him and cuddled him to death when Odejayi scored THAT goal against Chelsea. He says he doesn’t like men kissing him) and I asked about the goal. Cue a debate on who crossed it for Winnall to score a ‘diving header’. Was it the 6ft odd black lad or the midget white bloke? Later, on the train, I had the same debate with Andy and Andy, who disagreed. If you can’t tell Wabara and Isgrove apart, what chance have you got? (Seems it was Isgrove, back from the dead). But my later sources said it was no ‘diving header’. It was a ‘stooping header’. Feet must leave the ground for it to be ‘diving’. (The debate made a change from ‘how s*** is Hourihane / Winnall / Lee Johnson.)
Hourihane lines one up to hit the wall |
Half time, still 1-0. Reedy and Salisbury were adamant Blackpool were one of the worst sides to play us this season. I kept shtum. At full time, I was convinced they were right. Without a shadow of a doubt, in the last 6 weeks I have seen 3 of the worst sides in this division (4, if you include us). What do Blackpool, Colchester and Oldham have in common???
And it’s not just me with a positive outlook at Oakwell, as Paddy warned they were going to equalise about 5 seconds before they did. As we lost the ball on the halfway line and our attacking midfield (no names, no packdrill) sauntered back, the ball was switched to their right, played back across, dummied, knocked back and their guy ran past a jogging Hourihane to hit a blinder from 20 odd yards. Great goal (from their point of view). Avoidable (from ours). ‘We have a soft underbelly’ said no-one who answers to the name ‘Little Lee’.
The Ponty |
(As an aside, top TV detective Luther calls my pointing out of Hourihane’s faults to prove my assertion ‘prejudicial theory’.) But I can’t help being right. (Wind yer necks in, I’m just teasing.) This is the same central midfielder who, Little Lee told us 2 weeks ago, ‘could now play in a midfield two’. Well, in my day, one reason midfielders got picked for midfield was cos they could run from one end of the pitch to the other and back again. Conor can’t – he plays on a hill, downwards when we’re attacking, uphill when we lose the ball. At the argument’s most basic level, I put it to Wadd that if we lose him (lose??) to Preston, let’s see where we end up in the table without him. I’ll wager higher than we are now.
The old Main Stand |
Course, scoring against the Super Reds only makes ‘em angry (hmm…) Two minutes later Isgrove (him again) cuts inside from the right, beats 2 or 3 Oranges and lays it on a plate for Winnall to slide it home into the far corner from the edge of the box, a finish so good I thought it was Hammill. For a start, Winnall can’t even kick it that far (we saw this in the first half with one of his pathetic 20 yard ‘attempts’ bobbling to the keeper). Cleverly though, he was able to use the pace of the lay back while wrong footing a keeper who saved nothing all day.
With the cheers barely dying down, we’re at it again. How s*** are Blackpool? About 10 times we broke 3 on 3 and this time, it’s Winnall doing Hourihane’s job and delaying the pass for the overlapping player (Watkins). If he was a cleverer footballer, I’d swear Winnall did it on purpose so that Watkins would have to give him the ball back for the hattrick. But he’s not, and Watkins, instead of crossing for Winnall, cuts inside one, cuts inside another and then buries it with the outside of his right foot. Class.
427. They're even more depressed than us. |
Then for half an hour it’s the Adam Hamill show, as he teases, torments and generally showboats to zero effect. But it’s all good fun, and you can do this when you’re 3-1 up to a side as terrible as these. Eventually he’s subbed and he’s none too happy about it, booting the dugout seat. Ahh, good to see he’s as mature as ever. Then it’s panic time: the Oranginas only go and score. There’s a ball forward down our right, the ball is helped on by a Blackpool hand, a Reds defender falls over and their bloke has a simple opportunity. Our ability to concede from nothing is something else. ‘We have a soft underbelly’ says nobody in a position to do anything about it.
By now, I was loving it. What a fantastic game! And with the side devoid of its star player, what money would you have on Hourihane stepping forward, 3 on 2, ignoring my calls to pass it wide and hammering a 20 odd yarder into the bottom right with his left foot? Sweet. Only it’s not Conor bl**dy Hourihane – it’s young Matty Templeton, on as sub, making his home debut. This must be Salisbury’s finest moment of the season, as he’d been raving about Templeton in the under 21s in the pub, pre-match. And peeps were wondering how we’d cope if we lost Hourihane. (Answer: get someone in on loan, obvs).
Been a while since the scoreboard said 'Barnsley 3' |
*** Pearson. Obviously Blackpool were beyond clueless, their tactics were appalling. A la the Reds under Bassett, they were so strung out, every time we attacked it was 3 v 3 or 4 v 4, but there was a reason we had so much of the attacking ball – he’s called Ben Pearson. Won tackle after tackle (have a look at how we won the ball for our 2nd and 4th) and even set up the 1st with a fantastic pass to Wabara (I’m told) Even found time late on to run 25 yards to berate the linesman. THERE’S effort for you.
** Super Sammy Winnall. I always said he was great (!) Scored 2, set one up, what more do you want? Even found time to get hurt (as always) and chirp at the ref (no change there).
* Isgrove. Twitter MOTM. Who needs Toney? Isgrove did what wingers are paid for: beat players, set up chances. Where’s he been hiding during his loan spell?
Londontykes' Top 3:
1. Pearson
2. Winnall
3. White
Despatches:
Starting at the back, Davies failed to command his area but made a couple of great saves as well as a couple more deemed offside. Why don’t the defenders and the midfield do more to protect him? I can’t say I noticed Long or Mawson, this week’s central defensive partnership, since Blackpool repeatedly wandered offside. They were AWFUL. Yet still scored 2. Wabara looked better than he has been, though still delivered a couple of appalling crosses when in good positions (though the one he laid on for Winnall’s first was quality; I’ve seen it on telly). White again looked excellent down our left, a real attacking threat. And he did rescue the centre halves once, running across to clear a ball on the volley as they completed their turning circle. Hourihane was his usual. As well as the aforementioned inabilities of his game, he had 2 shots today. One was blocked, while in the 1st half, we got a free kick right of centre, ideal for the left footer. I asked Paddy which seat he would hit. ‘The wall’ he relied. Paddy was right. Watkins played well, beating players, not being knocked off the ball and notching. I’m warming to him.
Onwards and upwards! Up to 19th. Steady, Reds, steady.
Drink du jour: Erdinger, more wheat beer and a bottle of red. Had to keep a lid on it, we had a minor in tow (Master Reed).
Away: 427. Very sparse. Blackpoo fans must be even more depressed than we are.
The Damage:
£35 train