Sunday, 13 December 2015

Colchester United 2-3 BFC, Saturday 12th December 2015

‘Aidey Aidey Aidey Aidey Aidey White’ (apparently)


The injury list for this one was lengthy, with 83 year old Reds legend Gerry failing a late fitness test, joined in the physio room by Dasher and Prancer and Donner and Blitzen (Bob, HIcksy, Loko and Dave).  Not to worry, our merry band of warriors met up in that Nicholson's pub I don't rate for a pint before offski we went, Exec-style, to the Weston Homes Community Stadium.  Catchy.

After-match musings

Arrived at Colchester station and picked up a stray.  A guy with a Yorkshire accent, never seen him before. Anyway, we had a couple of spares so we offered him a place with us in the box, and, despite having a complimentary ticket, he was in.  Turned out to be Aidey White's dad.  And yes, I told him I was very disappointed that his son had nicked my 2nd favourite player's place.



But what's this?  Little Lee has been listening to the fans!  Must be all that reading of the bulletin board.  He's gone with TWO up front.  Winnall and Toney.  He's DROPPED that midget loan bloke from Southampton, who no-one will remember the name of in a year's time.  (A week's time?)  We have come to slay the beasts, to conquer Colchester in scenes unused to since Roman times.  Will Little Lee be roaming the streets later, on an elephant, a la Claudius?  (I'll never know, we got a train back).

The view from the box (where our seats were).

It's soon 1-0.  To us.  Winnall tries a deft header out wide, it hits a defender, falls into our path, it's knocked to Toney who brilliantly turns and then threads a through ball to Winnall...who rounds the keeper and is taken out.  Even I didn't think he'd dived this time, but fortunately the ball runs loose to Hourihane who knocks it into an empty net.  It's called GETTING MEN IN THE BOX.  Simples.
We are so dominant, I'm not sure they had a shot, but we do and it's 2-0. Hammill, absolute class act that he is, strokes the ball (till it purrs) into the far corner.  It took an aeon, but it's all in the placement - and the defender shielding the keeper's sight.  Our seats were actually outside the box, so word up to the Col U lads beside us who didn't take umbrage at our celebrations.

Are they deliberately taunting Reds fans?

HT and it's beer o'clock, one of us nipping in to order our beers early.  Me, I like to drink mine while cold, so I stood inside gazing through a gap in the blinds.  Seemed like we couldn't get out of our half for 5 mins...till we did and we scored.  I've since learnt it was 15 mins into the 2nd half.  Did I miss 10 minutes?  Anyway, another sublime bit of skill by Hamill freed up Pearson (?) to cross it for Toney to direct a header home. Great move, great cross, great header.  Who knows what the future holds for Toney, but I'll wager anyone that he plays at a higher level than George Bloody Waring (who?).  Big, powerful, fast, mobile, can head...and on today's showing is not short of skill either. Later, Reds coach Heckingbottom confirmed what we already know; this is one loan signing WITHOUT the plan to sign him permanent.  He's too good for us.


A handy foot rest

Then the Super Reds remember I've got a bet on them to LOSE.  (True, the betting slips were taken pre-match; in my defence, I wasn't the only one who lost money.)  Pearson's pathetic clearance hits Wabara 10 yards away.  Still, I'd have thought any player of dexterity coulda got out of the way, but no, he's no Lippizaner (one for Bob there), more pit pony.  It cannons off him and with Pearson stuck at right back playing everyone onside, we have turned possession into a goal for them in...what?...3 seconds?  I could have laughed.  Oh yeah - I DID laugh.

The home end (and police control box: hide the beer!)

There is NOTHING to worry about though.  We are STREETS ahead of them.  But no-one likes to see a hammering (!) and we duly oblige them with a second, a free kick is controlled and banged in on the volley off the underneath of the bar, while our centre half (Mawson?) stands with his hand in the air, appealing for offside.  Good effort, Alfie, son.  Championship class.
While the Londontyke hoardes bay for Little Lee to send a sub (defender) on to shore us up, I completely agreed with Little Lee:  don't make changes, we'll score 4 or 5.  Ok, we didn't, but the game was comfortably seen out. No need to panic, Captain Mainwaring.

How BFC are best viewed

So, we retreated back to our exec box to chew over the marvellousness of our victory, and watch part of one of the most convoluted draws I've ever seen (the Euro Championship).  Luckily, Tim (who else?) had invited Heckingbottom up for a bit and it gave me chance to thank him for scoring a pen at Wembley the Millenium Stadium (he didn't correct me, he knew what I meant) - cos I could hardly tell our current 1st team coach he's probably the 2nd worst left back I've seen at the club (of those who got a decent run of games).

*** Hammill.  Quiet game - and STILL the difference.  Given he's only signed for 6 months, fans should buy one of them there half season tickets, then sack it off at the end of the season when he leaves.  Makes sense to me.

** Toney.  My favourite Newcastle player by a country mile (though I had a thing for Dyer and Bowyer while they were fighting each other on the pitch).  Does everything that...blah blah blah.

* Winnall.  Dunno if this is left field, but despite not scoring, I thought he played a decent part in our attack.  Good link up play, stood on his feet.  Hourihane was also outstanding 1st half.

Londontykes' Top 3:
1. Hammill

2. Hourihane

3= Toney of Newcastle / Watkins

The away corner.  Numbers dwindling with every game under Little Lee.
Despatches:
I'l have to start with Mr White, junior.  Had one thing to do all game and f***ed it up, trying to be clever in our half and losing it.  Thankfully came to nought.  Interesting chat with dad tho on the lowdown of how his career is panning out.  Let's just say dad is not the big fan of Redfearn that we are.  No-one shone in defence, cos they had nowt to do - and still conceded 2.  'We've got a soft underbelly' says the manager, who's very good at pointing stuff out.  The 5th member of the attack (Marley...can't remember..the one Jonesy hates) well, he didn't seem to do much.  And we were so on top at one point Pearson burst past 3 players to be nearly clean through.  I can see why they'll be relegated (but they DID beat Altrincham!)

I thought Little Lee got it spot on today.  Let's out-attack feeble opposition.  Guess what?  It worked! Though who was that on the pitch 15 mins after full time, pointing down the right wing, telling Little Lee what he should do, etc?  Why, it's Bullsh*t Ben!  No wonder Little Lee isn't getting the sack, the puppetmaster is holding the strings.  God help us.

And call me an optimist, but there's no way we're going down while Adam Hamill is fit and still a Barnsley player. 

Drink du jour: pricey lager (Nicholsons) average lager (Col U) decent weissbier (the brauhaus in Liverpool St) Oh, and yes, I fell asleep on a bus.  Not sure how I came to be in New Cross (whatthehell bus was I on from Liverpool Street?) but at least it was walkable.  2 miles walkable. Then decided to watch the highlights...fell asleep again, finally got to bed at 6 after the cat woke me up headbutting me into giving him some breakfast.

Onwards and upwards!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


The away end (last season)

Wonder who sponsors this stand?

Home end pre-match

Little Lee about to be interviewed for Sky

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