Union Berlin 4-3 Holstein Kiel, Friday 4th August 2017

Union Berlin 4-3 Holstein Kiel (Bundesliga 2, att. 21,242)

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What can go wrong will go wrong.  I was given so many salient lessons today, many of which I've not learnt from previously.  Will I ever?
Certainly, some things were outside of my control.  Could I help that the Koblenz-Dortmund train was so late I missed my connection to Berlin?  Still, I reached Berlin Ostbahnhof a full hour before kickoff.  One problem: I needed to print out my match ticket.  I looked up internet cafes in the area and headed to one.  I walked into a dead end industrial estate.  That was after going into a business offering printing, which was run by a Chinese lady of limited English vocabulary who suggested that I could have it done ‘tonight’.  Oh well.

1st view of the pitch.

I passed a building purporting to house a hostel, but a couple of staircases later showed it to be only flats.  I walked onto Alexanderplatz.  How come there's always internet cafes when you don't need them? Plenty of businesses, zero of what I wanted.  Walking on, I hit a shopping district too posh for the kind of shop I was looking for.  By now, I was at Hackescher markt and decided to look up internet cafes again on the internet.

Match action, as such as I saw.

I found one and headed towards it.  I turned off a main street and into the alleged street it was in.  Nothing.  I had just passed a hotel so decided to plead my case.  Surely they owned a computer and a printer?  Well, maybe they did, but they ‘didn't offer business facilities’.  ‘Maybe try the Melia down the road?’  I did. ‘Do you have internet facilities and the ability to print?’  ‘Are you a guest?’  ‘Yes.’  Perfect.  The computer and printer were all mine.  The match was well underway by now and the best I could hope for was half an hour or so.

Looking towards the away end (far corner).

I had two emails from Union.  One was a general newsletter and the other contained an attachment, which I presumed to be the match ticket. However, it looked more like confirmation of a ticket bought, rather than an actual ticket.  This would prove to be the case, later. For one thing, it lacked the barcode which is scanned at the turnstile.

So anyways, I was set for the match after going back to the first hotel where I'd left my sunglasses on reception.  Stress isn't a great thing for helping one concentrate.  At least I was near a railway station and jumped on a S-bahn heading east.  I needed to change at Karlshorst for a train to Kopenick, then walk.

Kiel players huddle at full-time.

Once at Kopenick, I could hear the crowd.  Still, the stadium is in the middle of a forest (obvs: it IS ‘Stadion an der Alten Forsterei’) and there was no direct route.  Suffice to say, judging by my journey back, I went completely the wrong way around.  I saw my first floodlight as the clock struck 8.  Get the mints out.

I sidled up to my first set of turnstiles.  Will my confirmation get me in?  No, but try the ticket booths around the corner.  I would, but they were shut.  Why wouldn't they be?  There were maybe 10 minutes left.  I then wandered from gate to gate showing my letter.  ‘Could I come in?’  ‘No.’  ‘No.’  ‘No.’  Finally, one steward offered to go and ask his boss.  ‘No.’  I must have chatted futilely for five minutes with the steward and his compadre.  Other fans were leaving. Could I come in?  It won't harm safety.  I’ll just be replacing him.’  ‘No.’  ‘You're in the right job’ I said before toddling off a little further around, spotting an unmanned gate and strolling in, like I’d just nipped out for a p***.  (Bizarrely, some did this rather than use the toilets inside the stadium.)

'Eisern' (the club nickname) netting.

I was in.  I climbed the staircase to the top of the terrace.  It was rammed.  I walked along the concourse at the top of the terrace looking for a gap to spy some action.  I might have seen 30 seconds, enough for Union to defend a free kick before the ref blew for full time.  It was all over.  Union Berlin 4 Holstein Kiel 3.  So I hadn't missed anything.

Great. Just great.

Afterwards, I scoured the terraces for a match ticket, found none but one was dropped in the forest on the way back to Kopenick.  I had a beer and politely waited while one guy bought 8…9….10 beers.  They were English and THEY’D managed to get in.  Anyway, I'm now the proud owner of a Stadion an der Alten Forsterei plastic glass.  I’d at least seen the legendary home of Union (it was sold out by the way) before further extensions take the capacity to 37000.  Given that’s nearly Hertha’s average attendance at the Olympic Stadium, Union must be really starting to impinge on Hertha’s territory.  With three sides of terracing and cheap tickets and amazing atmosphere (that much I could deduce), Union are a team on the up and up.  They just missed out on a playoff place last season.  How long before the old forester makes it to the Bundesliga for the first time?

Eisern celebrate victory.

The Damage:

€15 ent

€2 booking fee

€5 beer (inc glass deposit)

= €20

The Tunes:

Atomic (Mogwai)

Adventures Beyond the Ultraworld (The Orb)

NME Singles of the Week 1993 (Various)

As a 'ps', I e-mailed the club re: the shenanighans.  Turns out there was a problem regarding the print@home service and that I was always meant to pick up my ticket from at the stadium.  Doh!

Stadion an der Alten Forsterei panorama.

Full-time panorama.

The Main Stand

Holstein Kiel fans.

The teams acknowledge their respective fans at full-time.

A little bit of tradition remains.

Food and drink stalls at the top of the terrace.

Won't the path halfway up the terrace upset the rake and impede viewing?

Plastic screens inbetween home and away fans.

Also, why have these pillars actually ON the terrace?

Beer garden at full-time.

The view from the corner.

Behind the goal.

The clean-up operation commences.

Of course, it's in a FOREST.