Garforth Town 1-3 Maltby Main, Tuesday 20th October 2020

Garforth Town 1-3 Maltby Main, Bannister Prentice Stadium (AKA Wheatly Park), Northern Counties East League Premier Division, att. 124

Welcome to .... GTFC!

I was due in Barnsley today to get a signature on a legal document, so what better chance to expand my non-league repertoire from the Northern League?  I contacted my mate Loko and he sourced Garforth, about half an hour from his place near Ferrybridge and an hour down the motorway from my base.  So with typical inevitability, my reason for being down that way dissipated, but I’d made my decision – I was going to Garforth anyway.

Of all the places for him to stand...

I was driving home to County Durham afterwards, so in an effort to appear an all-round great bloke, I picked Loko up, so at least he could have an alcoholic beverage, even if I couldn’t.  Loko did have one job though.  He was navigator, and as we hit Garforth we headed through a new estate to find a football ground parked the other side.  Loko celebrated with a bottle of Black Sheep (takeout only). 

Down the touchline.

Garforth’s claim to fame is that one Socrates once rocked up here for a game (but he was 50, and had chain-smoked his way there).  Still, he’s never played for our team, Barnsley, so let’s not mock.  I knew little-to nothing about Maltby Main, beyond it was a place somewhere near Rotherham and had some link to mining.  (Loko however thought it was in North Yorkshire and the ‘Main’ referred to it being the…errr….main Maltby.  Not to be confused with Lesser Maltby, wherever that may be.

Looking towards the...Tree End?

Anyway, the PA announcer made an early bid for MVP by telling us how many miles Maltby was from Rotherham and Doncaster (I think, 6 and 10 respectively).  He also told us famous ex-residents of Maltby included Fred Truman and Lynne Perrie.  Seriously, I love this guy.  ‘Today, we welcome visitors Newcastle United.  Newcastle is situated 5 miles west of Whitley Bay and 22 miles north of Ferryhill.  Famous ex-residents include Crocodile Shoes’ Jimmy Nail and both Ant AND Dec.’ 

Nicely enclosed.

While Loko had the beer, I couldn’t resist pie and peas from ‘Ralph’s Kiosk’, one of the choicier non-league refreshment parlours.  I could have had a Pot Noodle, but it was the mint sauce wot won it.  Pie and peas every time.  (Mind, I’d brought a ham and pease pudding sandwich to the game.  How northern am I?)  We stood on the far side and admired Garforth’s towering stand opposite.

A cover behind the goal.

The ground is a simple affair.  One brand spanking new cantilever stand with a small paddock in front and nothing else beyond a wooden fence, but it was very tidy.  The food kiosk and bar were behind the Main Stand and they even produced a programme, describing tonite as the ‘Miners’ Derby’ (the visitors having once been the team of the local colliery, while Garforth were founded in a pub, The Miners’ Arms).

The refreshment kiosk.

Garforth had made a great start to the season, three wins and a draw, so were slight favourites based on the league table.  This was borne out by taking the lead just before half-time when a counter attack led to Burton half volleying from the edge of the box into an empty net as the keeper didn’t appear to know where he was meant to be covering.  Loko and I wandered round to the Main Stand and decided to take a pew here for the second half.

High and mighty...Garforth's Main Stand.

Consequently, we had a great view of Maltby’s comeback, three goals in a 9 minute battering, before Garforth had their keeper sent off for racing forwards and taking out the centre forward outside the box.  While treatment was given, the ref considered his options, and eventually sent the keeper off.  Loko thought it was harsh, as there were defenders around, but for me, the defenders had ran past the scene of the crime and if the forward hadn’t have been brutalised, he would have faced an empty net, albeit with a couple of defenders inbetween.  Still a goalscoring opportunity in my view, and an outfield player took over in goal.  Disappointingly, there was no comedy action to be had and Maltby saw out the game without threatening.

I then drove Loko home listening to 5Live when he cheered Manure scoring a last minute winner against PSG in a Champions League group stage match.  What's all that about?  Who cares?  I'm learning stuff about friends that I didn't wanna know...

The view from the Main Stand (apologies, my camera's not the best in the dark).

The Damage:
£6 ent
£1.50 programme
£2.50 pie and pies
£1 tea
= £11

The Tunes:
Grey Area (Little Simz)
Disintegration (The Cure)
Spirit of Eden (Talk Talk)
Death of a Ladies’ Man (Leonard Cohen)

Looking towards the...non-Tree End.