Wednesday, 17 December 2025
BFC 3-2 Leyton Orient, Saturday 13th December 2025
‘Look at all these people, staying in town to have fun.’
I was confident on Satdy. Confident in our inconsistency. Having been crushed by Lincoln in midweek, I firmly expected us to romp to victory today. After all, we’d lost at Lincoln having won at Posh. Won at Posh after being hammered at Port Vale. Hammered at Port Vale after 2 games in one at Stockport (won the 1st half, lost the 2nd). Etc etc. And...BONUS!...we even found a new way of conceding. THAT was unexpected. I thought we’d found every way possible of letting in a goal this season.Yes, so much for playing well, destroying the opposition, camping in the Ponty End. YOU HAVE TO PUT THE BALL IN THE NET. That we did once was paltry reward for how on top we’d been. Even then, it relied on a deflection from Cleary’s shot, but as Alan Shearer might have said, if you don’t buy a ticket, you don’t win the raffle. Who’d have thunk HAVING A SHOT could bring reward? (It’s noticeable how, since Phillips has been injured, then forced to play the Bland role – standing on the halfway line – we’ve no-one to try a pot shot.) Sterling work in the build up from DKD and Kelly too.
The only other worthwhile effort before we somehow found ourselves a goal down at half-time was Kelly’s cut inside...then cut inside...then cut in a bit more...losing defenders here there and everywhere, before another defender (the left back? They’re ran out of other defenders) threw himself across to block it. ‘Should’ve shot earlier’ said folk who’ve never hit the net in their lives. Listen, idiots, you cut in COS there’s a defender about to block your shot. It just so happened that there was more than one defender to dummy. Cracking effort.
Then our midfield intervene. I have seen some backpasses in my time, but Phillips’ ROCKET at Cooper’s FACE takes the biscuit. In hindsight, Coops should’ve just moved out the way of it (and what? Taken the wrath of the crowd for leaving it?) and letting it go for a throw-in. Instead, he attempts to control it, it pings off his phizog and their centre forward nips in. My only worry with the resultant foul is whether it’s inside or outside the box. (I couldn’t tell. Did I tell you I was in the Corner Stand exec, courtesy of P. Gallagher?) If it’s outside, we’re looking at a red card. Fortunately (!) the ref points to the spot. One-all. Hara kiri.
Then, before the 45 is out, Yoganathan falls over in possession / is muscled out of it and they have a clear run at goal. I guess it’s hard keeping your balance when you’re 8 foot tall and the width of a flagpole. (Come to think, his shirt DOES blow around like a flag.) And guess what? Their player evades our blocking defenders by calmly CUTTING INSIDE to slot into an empty net. Once again, the bet of the day is ‘BTTS’. (Both teams to score.)
Half-time and we’re a goal down in a match we have DOMINATED. How many times have we read this story? Still, it’s not all bad. Gally, Loko, Hicksy and I are very warm and cosy, thank you very much. Too cosy. Hicksy doesn’t bother with the second half.
After a rousing half-time teamtalk from Coach Conor, and an early shot off the post from Cleary (shoulda done better), it’s fairly apparent we’ve ran out of ideas. What minute will he send St. Jalo on? No, Super Jonny Russell gets the curly finger from the bench, on for Yoga, closely followed by Forgotten-Man Vickers, on for Can’t-Forget-Him-Fast-Enough Farrugia. We have half of a half to save this game.
A gentle chipped free kick has Cleary stretching and sending it across goal for Russell to ping in on the volley. Superb technique from a bloke who hit double figures last season but is ignored in favour of everyone else this season. Still, he should be fresh for the World Cup (should Jamaica chivvy New Caledonia out). Why does he never get picked (for the Super Reds)? ‘Because he’s a dogsh*t ba5tard’ retorted a A. Londontyke. (Not me. I’m a fan, though Russell attempts to throw away his good work by giving away cheap possession on the edge of our own box as we hang on.)
It's not over though. We have the bit between our teeth and go hunting. Or b) an aimless ball forward from Watson has their fullback airkicking it and Cleary nipping in. He lays it on a plate for DKD to have an open goal from 7 yards. WE HAVE WON IT!
Hold on tho. Russell gives them an opportunity before, in injury time, Coach Conor goes old skool and chucks on a centre half (Roberts) for a forward (Cleary). Inspired, as Orient put one last ball in the box, and who would have been able to stand and watch it as the Orient player runs in, jumps and powers in a header….were Roberts not on the pitch? Thankfully, it goes over, but Roberts’ studs didn’t even leave the ground.
Actually, as I think about it, he probably sent Roberts on just after Shepherd’s latest episode of ‘falling over cos there’s a forward right on my heels’ and getting a free kick. This is EVERY GAME and it really irks me. Although the resultant Orient equaliser was scrubbed for a free kick to us justifies Shepherd’s dive, is does nothing to placate my mood. It was EXACTLY the same as happened to Yoganathan. Why is Shepherd treated differently by refs?
Onwards and upwards!
*** Cleary. Scored, set 2 up. Can’t argue with the facts.
** Kelly. Or maybe you can. Another awesome game driving forward.
* DKD. Given we can’t defend, and 2 midfielders set up their goals, that leaves the match winner. Johnny-on-the-spot. Official MOTM: Kelly
Londontykes’ MOTM: 1. Cleary 2. Kelly 3. DKD
Despatches:
Well, the excitement over drawing Liverpoo away lasted, didn’t it? It lasted approximately the amount of time it took television to realise Liverpoo were playing the Arse the previous Thursday, so the game HAD to be on Sun or Mon, so why not Monday, ruin many a Londontyke’s hopes of attending? Worse, we lose another Satdy home game (Wimbledon, Feb 14th) when we turn the Scousers over. Chelsea, home? I’m getting 2008 vibes! (Bring back Davey! Tohellwithit, bring back Odejayi!)
Meanwhile, on the exec balcony, I sat next to the Jonathan Bland Fan Club, which made a pleasant change. May I also say, I’ve never heard Ben be so quiet. I think he only piped up 5 times, which was nice. (It’s not that Bland was poor – he only messed up once, over-playing a ball to DKD who was stood too close to him anyway – it’s that he just doesn’t do anything. That’s his job. ‘Stand there. No, not there. There. Perfect.)
Drink du jour: Beartown Inception at Spiral.
Away: 590? 519? Should BFC sort out the PA system, or should I sort out my ear system? (My GCSE French listening result suggests the latter.) Cinque sonne quatre vingt dix au cinque sonne dix-neuf. Is any of that correct?
The Damage:
c.£7 petrol
= c.£7
I did have a snout around the club shop and quite fancy a retro ‘Dire’/Hignett shirt. (The lettering is coming off my original, hence why you never see it. But I like the actual shirt. Do you think the club shop has access to the same lettering/numbering fonts?)
Wednesday, 10 December 2025
Lincoln City 3-1 BFC, Tuesday 9th December 2025
‘Room for a little un? By, it’s cold in here.’
I knew it was going too well. I even said so in the pub. I’d found (free) parking close to the ground. The journey had gone smoothly, including pick ups for Lucas from school, Wadd in ‘tarn’ and Stu in Retford. We’d managed to get into the nearby Wetherspoons, despite the doormen looking out for ne’er do wells (Reds fans?) We’d even managed to get a table, and order food. Honestly, being the doom monger I am, I was worried for the journey home if we won tonite. I needn’t have worried.
It was an even opening half hour or so. Twice we’d had the opportunity to play a ball inbetween the centre halves for Cleary to run onto, and twice a poor effort was intercepted (Kelly, DKD). Not that it would have mattered. Cleary was playing as badly as anyone I’ve seen this season. If he controlled the ball, he lost it. And he didn’t often control it. At the other end (in a galaxy far, far, away) Lincoln cleared the bar when it looked easier to score.
However, gradually, Lincoln took control and the general feeling when it came was that ‘it was coming’. They always looked like they had an extra man in the move, but Watson (tonite’s left back) slips, the player cuts inside, and rockets a shot into the far corner. Too easy. We limp to half-time. Changes need to be made. What will Coach Conor come up with?
He takes Yoganathan off. It’s all his fault. (Can I just say, Vimal created the our only chance of note, 1st half, a pullback for DKD’s saved shot). Replaced down the right by a player without a right foot (Farrugia). What is Conor’s obsession with playing Farrugia here? He’s very fast, but even if he strips a player down the line, he can’t cross it in cos he’s only got one foot and that’s not where the ball is.
That said, we are transformed (I’ll ignore an early scare, Cooper tipping a shot round the post after Phillips’ aberration). We are by far the better side. Cleary is getting into the game, and we are on the front foot. And on 67 DKD grabs the equaliser following the kind of sweet move we’ve seen quite often this season. Phillips lays it out wide to Bland who drills the ball low across goal for DKD to sidefoot home. WE ARE IN THIS! Right, heads down, let’s go and get the winner. We hadn’t stopped celebrating before we were picking the ball out of our own net. WTF?
From the re-start after our goal, they play the ball back to the keeper, who chips a soft ball forward. I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHERE OUR CENTRE HALVES ARE (today it’s Shepherd and MdG) but they have 2 (TWO!) players clean through. Watson’s little legs are feverishly scurrying but he’s nowhere near as the cheeky Imp lifts the ball over Cooper, who’s run out of his goal to join in the embarrassment. Sunday league defending.
I tried looking on the positive side. 1-2 is better than 0-1 in my world, it proves we can score. Unfortunately, it also woke the Lincoln fans up. They were now bouncing while we were disconsolate. ‘You only sing when you’re winning’ chanted some Reds fans in response. ‘They’ve been winning most of the match’ Wadd unhelpfully pointed out.
Still, 20 odd minutes left, we can still get something. 3 minutes later it’s 3-1. This defence is appalling. MdG heads a ball UPWARDS instead of OUTWARDS, everyone stands and stares and an Imp, on his own, knocks it across goal on the volley for a free header on the backpost. Down and out in Sincil Bank. The only team threatening hereafter wore red and white stripes.
It's ok tho. At least it’s not far to the car.
Onwards and upwards!
*** Kelly. I asked Wadd who’d played well (if anybody). He said Kelly. The reason I was asking, was cos it was only Kelly wot stood out for me, but I’m starting to get paranoid that I’m only voting for him cos he’s my favourite player. I don’t want to turn into Bob with Chris Shuker!
** No-one. No-one else came close to Kelly.
* DKD. Scored, had another shot saved. If you think we’re bad now, imagine how bad we’d be without the division’s top scorer.
Londontykes MOTM: 1. Kelly 2. DKD 3. Cooper
Despatches:
This defence of ours. It’s terrible. And it doesn’t matter who plays in it. Take the left back spot. Who’s played there this season? Ogbeta, Earl, MdG, Gent, Watson. Wasn’t loanee Rooney also played there? Have I missed anyone? I take Chris’s point about how well recruitment did with regards to Kelly and Cleary...but what about centre half? What about centre forward? What about left back? And this Rooney bloke. How bad must he be that he can’t get in the team ahead of Shepherd, Roberts, Earl, MdG? Is this the best Coach Conor can do with regards his footie contacts? A Derby reserve player he remembers playing youth football?
As for St. Conor, Wadd said someone on that there social media was criticising the defensive coach. Hourihane is untouchable. Even when the team can’t defend, it’s not his fault. He’s the one who brought Keogh in, he’s the one in overall control of the team, he’s the one who brings on Farrugia on the right while Vickers is left twiddling his thumbs on the bench, he’s the...etc
Dismal.
Away: 737
Drink du jour: Leffe at the Ritz Wetherspoon.
The Damage:
26 ent
c.30 petrol
= c£56
It was an even opening half hour or so. Twice we’d had the opportunity to play a ball inbetween the centre halves for Cleary to run onto, and twice a poor effort was intercepted (Kelly, DKD). Not that it would have mattered. Cleary was playing as badly as anyone I’ve seen this season. If he controlled the ball, he lost it. And he didn’t often control it. At the other end (in a galaxy far, far, away) Lincoln cleared the bar when it looked easier to score.
However, gradually, Lincoln took control and the general feeling when it came was that ‘it was coming’. They always looked like they had an extra man in the move, but Watson (tonite’s left back) slips, the player cuts inside, and rockets a shot into the far corner. Too easy. We limp to half-time. Changes need to be made. What will Coach Conor come up with?
He takes Yoganathan off. It’s all his fault. (Can I just say, Vimal created the our only chance of note, 1st half, a pullback for DKD’s saved shot). Replaced down the right by a player without a right foot (Farrugia). What is Conor’s obsession with playing Farrugia here? He’s very fast, but even if he strips a player down the line, he can’t cross it in cos he’s only got one foot and that’s not where the ball is.
That said, we are transformed (I’ll ignore an early scare, Cooper tipping a shot round the post after Phillips’ aberration). We are by far the better side. Cleary is getting into the game, and we are on the front foot. And on 67 DKD grabs the equaliser following the kind of sweet move we’ve seen quite often this season. Phillips lays it out wide to Bland who drills the ball low across goal for DKD to sidefoot home. WE ARE IN THIS! Right, heads down, let’s go and get the winner. We hadn’t stopped celebrating before we were picking the ball out of our own net. WTF?
From the re-start after our goal, they play the ball back to the keeper, who chips a soft ball forward. I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHERE OUR CENTRE HALVES ARE (today it’s Shepherd and MdG) but they have 2 (TWO!) players clean through. Watson’s little legs are feverishly scurrying but he’s nowhere near as the cheeky Imp lifts the ball over Cooper, who’s run out of his goal to join in the embarrassment. Sunday league defending.
I tried looking on the positive side. 1-2 is better than 0-1 in my world, it proves we can score. Unfortunately, it also woke the Lincoln fans up. They were now bouncing while we were disconsolate. ‘You only sing when you’re winning’ chanted some Reds fans in response. ‘They’ve been winning most of the match’ Wadd unhelpfully pointed out.
Still, 20 odd minutes left, we can still get something. 3 minutes later it’s 3-1. This defence is appalling. MdG heads a ball UPWARDS instead of OUTWARDS, everyone stands and stares and an Imp, on his own, knocks it across goal on the volley for a free header on the backpost. Down and out in Sincil Bank. The only team threatening hereafter wore red and white stripes.
It's ok tho. At least it’s not far to the car.
Onwards and upwards!
*** Kelly. I asked Wadd who’d played well (if anybody). He said Kelly. The reason I was asking, was cos it was only Kelly wot stood out for me, but I’m starting to get paranoid that I’m only voting for him cos he’s my favourite player. I don’t want to turn into Bob with Chris Shuker!
** No-one. No-one else came close to Kelly.
* DKD. Scored, had another shot saved. If you think we’re bad now, imagine how bad we’d be without the division’s top scorer.
Londontykes MOTM: 1. Kelly 2. DKD 3. Cooper
Despatches:
This defence of ours. It’s terrible. And it doesn’t matter who plays in it. Take the left back spot. Who’s played there this season? Ogbeta, Earl, MdG, Gent, Watson. Wasn’t loanee Rooney also played there? Have I missed anyone? I take Chris’s point about how well recruitment did with regards to Kelly and Cleary...but what about centre half? What about centre forward? What about left back? And this Rooney bloke. How bad must he be that he can’t get in the team ahead of Shepherd, Roberts, Earl, MdG? Is this the best Coach Conor can do with regards his footie contacts? A Derby reserve player he remembers playing youth football?
As for St. Conor, Wadd said someone on that there social media was criticising the defensive coach. Hourihane is untouchable. Even when the team can’t defend, it’s not his fault. He’s the one who brought Keogh in, he’s the one in overall control of the team, he’s the one who brings on Farrugia on the right while Vickers is left twiddling his thumbs on the bench, he’s the...etc
Dismal.
Away: 737
Drink du jour: Leffe at the Ritz Wetherspoon.
The Damage:
26 ent
c.30 petrol
= c£56
Sunday, 7 December 2025
Marine 0-2 Spennymoor Town, Saturday 6th December 2025
Marine 0-2 Spennymoor Town, National League North, att. 1,126 (The Marine Travel Arena)
What a stadium this is! I’ve seen nothing like it. Hemmed in (literally!) on all 4 sides, there’s no space to swing a cat in this place. Indeed, space is so tight, spectators aren’t even allowed down one side. There’s dugouts, then a wall that backs onto people’s gardens.
It’s not much better opposite, as there’s one step of terracing, then the wall backing onto gardens. Still, at least there’s a roof all down this touchline, and with a crowd of just over 1,100, the ground is nearly half full yet isn’t empty anywhere. I love this place!
The bulk of the capacity lies at either end, as tall structures lie behind paddocks. Just like the good old days. And there’s some kind of unofficial segregation going on too, as visitors Spenny dominate the far end, while the Mariners ensconce themselves at this end, where you enter the ground.
Mind, Kev’s done some spadework at the turnstiles. A sign says it’s £18 in. Kev swears it’s £16.50 online and duly does the business, spending 10 minutes to save three quid for the pair of us. What amazes me is how nobody else is doing it. And when we get to the turnstile, the operator takes one look at our QR code and asks if we’ve just bought them. How can he tell!?
Just as good, there’s a swanky social club on the corner, ‘1894 Bistro and Bar’, which is accessible from both inside, and outside, the ground. Thankfully, the kiosk behind the goal hasn’t got its crap lager taps going yet and we’re stuck behind a gate as the teams come out. As the gate re-opens and we’re allowed towards the corner flag, I spy a number of fans turning the corner to avoid the footie action. I know what these lads are up to, I think, and follow.
Sure enough, we’re in the ‘1894’ and wonder of wonders, they’ve got Erdinger in tap. The Klopp effect? Less wondrous, a small noise is identified as a visitors’ goal (it was, 0-1). I blame Kev for the 10 minute hold-up, but he’s even more annoyed. He hates Spenny. Then thee barman starts whooping. The big screen reports on Everton going ahead. Nobody else remarks.
Back out in the real world, we walk the touchline, trying to dodge fans and not spill our pints. After toying with a young steward that I’d dare climb the camera gantry for a better view (or, indeed, A view), we find daylight in line with the far penalty area. Hereon there be dragons, or Spennymoor fans. ‘Pride of County Durham’ (their words). ‘Spendymore’ (Kev’s). Bankrolled to their artificially high position, never let it not be said that they’re a lower league MK Dons, buying a club (Evenwood) and supplanting their position in the (Northern) League. Plus they play in black and white stripes (though not today).
Another bonus of the Marine Travel Arena is that you can balance your beer on the perimeter fence. And we do – till one of them pesky players nearly boots a ball at us. (He’s been hearing what Kev has to say about them.) These are two teams on the edge of the play-offs, but there’s only one team in it. Spenny nail a second with a goal from a narrow angle at the home end. Could the keeper have done better? Well, he couldn’t have done worse.
And that’s it for the scoring, though Ramshaw spurns the chance of a hattrick in the second half by not connecting properly. An easier chance than the one he scored. The second one he scored. I couldn’t comment on the first one.
By now we’re in the upper tier, behind the goal, with the Spenny fans. Kev has treated me to the milkiest of teas, and after spending a minute considering whether to complain, or be British, I elect for the former. I’d have hated myself otherwise. It wouldn’t be so bad, I only rea lly wanted it to warm my hands, and it couldn’t even do that. I return to the refreshment shed to see the shutter being closed, but I WILL HAVE MY WAY and politely (honest!) explain that this tea is undrinkable and I’d like a new one. She gives me a new one, with much less milk, yet still too much milk. These northerners, eh? (Me, not her.) I like my tea to taste of...tea. Strong, not much milk.
Pre-match, we are treated to a minute’s round of applause for the remarkable Roly Howard, former Marine manager, who died this week. He was the longest serving manager in English football (1972-2005) with 1,975 games under his belt. You’d think he’d have seen out another 25, but I suspect there was a very good reason for not doing so. R.I.P. Rory.
Oh, and we went to the seaside to see the Gormleys on Crosby Beach. Marvellous!
The Damage:
£16.50 ent
£2.50 programme
£5.30 Erdinger
= £24.30
It’s not much better opposite, as there’s one step of terracing, then the wall backing onto gardens. Still, at least there’s a roof all down this touchline, and with a crowd of just over 1,100, the ground is nearly half full yet isn’t empty anywhere. I love this place!
The bulk of the capacity lies at either end, as tall structures lie behind paddocks. Just like the good old days. And there’s some kind of unofficial segregation going on too, as visitors Spenny dominate the far end, while the Mariners ensconce themselves at this end, where you enter the ground.
Mind, Kev’s done some spadework at the turnstiles. A sign says it’s £18 in. Kev swears it’s £16.50 online and duly does the business, spending 10 minutes to save three quid for the pair of us. What amazes me is how nobody else is doing it. And when we get to the turnstile, the operator takes one look at our QR code and asks if we’ve just bought them. How can he tell!?
Just as good, there’s a swanky social club on the corner, ‘1894 Bistro and Bar’, which is accessible from both inside, and outside, the ground. Thankfully, the kiosk behind the goal hasn’t got its crap lager taps going yet and we’re stuck behind a gate as the teams come out. As the gate re-opens and we’re allowed towards the corner flag, I spy a number of fans turning the corner to avoid the footie action. I know what these lads are up to, I think, and follow.
Sure enough, we’re in the ‘1894’ and wonder of wonders, they’ve got Erdinger in tap. The Klopp effect? Less wondrous, a small noise is identified as a visitors’ goal (it was, 0-1). I blame Kev for the 10 minute hold-up, but he’s even more annoyed. He hates Spenny. Then thee barman starts whooping. The big screen reports on Everton going ahead. Nobody else remarks.
Back out in the real world, we walk the touchline, trying to dodge fans and not spill our pints. After toying with a young steward that I’d dare climb the camera gantry for a better view (or, indeed, A view), we find daylight in line with the far penalty area. Hereon there be dragons, or Spennymoor fans. ‘Pride of County Durham’ (their words). ‘Spendymore’ (Kev’s). Bankrolled to their artificially high position, never let it not be said that they’re a lower league MK Dons, buying a club (Evenwood) and supplanting their position in the (Northern) League. Plus they play in black and white stripes (though not today).
Another bonus of the Marine Travel Arena is that you can balance your beer on the perimeter fence. And we do – till one of them pesky players nearly boots a ball at us. (He’s been hearing what Kev has to say about them.) These are two teams on the edge of the play-offs, but there’s only one team in it. Spenny nail a second with a goal from a narrow angle at the home end. Could the keeper have done better? Well, he couldn’t have done worse.
And that’s it for the scoring, though Ramshaw spurns the chance of a hattrick in the second half by not connecting properly. An easier chance than the one he scored. The second one he scored. I couldn’t comment on the first one.
By now we’re in the upper tier, behind the goal, with the Spenny fans. Kev has treated me to the milkiest of teas, and after spending a minute considering whether to complain, or be British, I elect for the former. I’d have hated myself otherwise. It wouldn’t be so bad, I only rea lly wanted it to warm my hands, and it couldn’t even do that. I return to the refreshment shed to see the shutter being closed, but I WILL HAVE MY WAY and politely (honest!) explain that this tea is undrinkable and I’d like a new one. She gives me a new one, with much less milk, yet still too much milk. These northerners, eh? (Me, not her.) I like my tea to taste of...tea. Strong, not much milk.
Pre-match, we are treated to a minute’s round of applause for the remarkable Roly Howard, former Marine manager, who died this week. He was the longest serving manager in English football (1972-2005) with 1,975 games under his belt. You’d think he’d have seen out another 25, but I suspect there was a very good reason for not doing so. R.I.P. Rory.
Oh, and we went to the seaside to see the Gormleys on Crosby Beach. Marvellous!
The Damage:
£16.50 ent
£2.50 programme
£5.30 Erdinger
= £24.30
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