***I'm having a problem uploading photos at mo.
Chorley 5-2 Darlington, National League North, Victory Park, att. c.700
There I was, comparing Northern Premier League games with local(ish) FA Cup replays when I spotted Darlo were at Chorley. Well, who wouldn’t rather go to a game with Darlo fan SuperKev, rather than tick off a new ground? Sometimes, it’s just nice to have company at a game, and as I told him pre-match, it was win-win for me. Darlo win, I’m happy, Darlo lose, and I can enjoy watching Kev suffer. Tonite is very much the latter.
We went last season, a Satdy game, and partook in the train and drinks pre and post match. I really enjoyed it. Sadly, we’ve no time to enjoy town frivolities this time (though we did drive past the bus station, with its immortal tagline ‘Chorley, the best of Lancashire all in one place.’ One need never visit the rest of the county.) We were already cutting it fine to visit a local hostelry, but the traffic was a nightmare, as motorway merged into motorway around Manchester.
We park up in an estate by the ground and walk through the park behind the main stand. What were the away turnstiles last season aren’t open. Maybe Darlo’s idiots don’t travel, midweek? Anyway, there’s no segregation and we walk around and gain entrance with everybody else. £3 cheaper in advance too. The blurb makes reference to buying it a day before, but Kev got mine in at 5pm, so one to be aware of (like at Marine, where we bought our tickets online at the turnstile, to save 2 quid!)
The social club is VAST, with half a dozen on more large tellies hanging off the wall. Do we stay in and watch Champs Lge, or savour the 6th tier? 6th tier wins, and we discover an outdoor bar with loads of picnic tables too. Even better, they’ve nailed up scarves of all colours and creeds on the fence around the bar, making it look like a giant outdoor stall at one of them Big Stadia. Kev’s not too happy about seeing a Spennymoor Town one though, and, even worse, it’s adjacent to a Darlo scarf. The Pride of County Durham, together!
We eschew the home end, a sizeable terrace which begins a few yards behind the perimeter fence, and lean on the barrier by the side of the pitch. The ground looks empty. There’s Villa on the telly, Bolton at home down the road and the Autumn cold is coming in. I wish I’d brought my hat.
Still, not penned into one end, I get to admire the couple of bizarre stands on this side. One looks like a glorified garden shed/’shoffice’ with half a dozen of them seats I only ever see in Premiership dugouts stood on a raised patio. This must be the exec section, though there’s no takers tonite, till 4 young Darlo fans make it their home, second half, to bait home fans about the size of their support. At least one act of defiance from Darlo. The team are losing four-nil.
Another small stand is perched precariously off the banking and reminds me of Bojack Horseman’s residence in Hollywood. (THERE’S a niche comparison!) Poles carrying the weight of the building above, in this case, seating of maybe 30. Must be incredible views. We should’ve gone up and joined the two fans sitting up there. We did enjoy some interaction though, as the mature lady on the front row dropped her walking stick and Kev and I did our good deed for the day, fishing it up from behind the perimeter fence. Any excuse to miss some of the match.
Ah, the match. Not much of a match. As in, these teams weren’t very well matched. 3 nil at half-time (and a missed penalty) turned into 4 10 mins into the 2nd half. Would Darlo match their 8-0 rout of a few years back here? Thankfully not. Subs on, game changed and Darlo pulled 2 back on 74 and 79. At this rate, we might see a draw. But it was to no avail. A poor backpass sealed the 5th, before a late sending off for sub Routledge, who’d pioneered the comeback. Booked for ‘helping’ a grounded Chorley player to his feet, it was a talking-to at best, but the ref carded him and after a several seconds appeared to realise he’d already booked him, so brought out the red. A lively half an hour for the sub, who’d also scored both Quakers’ goals.
The Damage:
£17 ent*
£9 2 pints of Wainwright Gold. Very average.
= £26
*Kev treated me.
Thursday, 10 September 2026
Monday, 7 September 2026
BFC 1-5 Stevenage, Satdy 5th September 2026
***I can't add photos for some reason. Bear with me while I try to understand technology.
‘He was born 50.’
Rumours of our resurrection have been greatly exaggerated. Satdy was simply embarrassing. Catastrophic. Disgusting. Unacceptable. And all the other hyperbole for an absolute sh*tshow. It’s bad enough being beaten by a non-lge team, but to concede 5 is something else. And to see my team, our team, simply GIVE UP in the second half was beyond the pale.
The way we’ve played this season, I could see us taking a beating off someone. You can’t play a back 2 (at times) and not expect the opposition to find holes. But this wasn’t the case Satdy. Stevenage didn’t sit back and hit us on the break. That second period was spent mostly in our half of the pitch, as we had forwards who couldn’t hold onto it, midfielders who couldn’t pass it and defenders who…Christ, the defenders. Trades Description Act and all that.
Yet it started so well. Half an hour in, we were leading one nil and seemed destined for more. ‘Will today be one of them stress-free 2, 3, 4 goals to nil?’, I mused. Diane doubted it. McGeehan had put us a goal up from the spot after Kelly’s shot was saved by a Stevenage defender masquerading as their goalkeeper. So far, so good. If we ignore Kirk missing an open goal from 4 yards. I’m sorry, but whether the cross took a deflection or not, he’s got a clear view of the ball, all the way to his swipe of it. You know what they say about a goal ‘doing wonders for a striker’s confidence’? Well, since that goal at Orient, he’s missed 2 open goals. He only scores when he’s concussed, and I bet there’d be a queue at Oakwell if he offers to let fans smack him in the face. Bloody useless, he is.
Stevenage (I’d use their nickname, but does anybody know it? Can they still be ‘The Boro’ if they’d dropped the only thing that’s interesting about them, their previous name of ‘Stevenage Borough’? Is this pure sour grapes? (No. I always think this.)) Am I waffling? Am I trying to take my mind OFF the game, rather than ON it? You betcha. They make a tactical sub on 23 – never too early in my book, if it’s all going wrong – and gradually they haul themselves in. Still, it’s a surprise when they score, but it’s up there with Stan and Ollie carrying some new glazing across a busy street.
A Stevo (that’ll do) smacks it against the bar and the ball goes up into the stratosphere. Ravenhill tracks it…then he doesn’t. Blinded by the sun, presumably. Another player who must be blinded by the sun (presumably he’s got eyes in the back of his head, cos he wasn’t looking at it) is McGeehan, who stands and gawps at it while the centre forward steps forward to divert in his own rebound off the back of his head. Now go and watch this on replay. You’ll notice this big, strapping forward not marked THROUGHOUT THIS MOVE. When the ball doesn’t go in first time, he checks back and he’s free throughout. Now, it’s true, the centre halves are marking players, but when the ball comes back in, right in the centre of the 6 yard box, HE’S ON HIS OWN. It’s someone’s fault, that’s all I’m saying.
Still, it’s half-time, we go again. We’re obviously the better team. It takes 7 minutes for The Boro to go ahead. Now, I have to cheat here and watch it again on t’gogglebox, cos I simply can’t remember how many mistakes there are before their player bundles it in on the back post. A free kick is pumped towards our box. We lose that header. Gale wins the next header, but flicks it on as if he’s playing for them. (Maybe he is?) Kay’s now got no choice but to flick it on again and all their bloke has to do is turn and get it on target, with Bland dangling a leg as it passes him by. Possibly as funny as their opener. Harold Lloyd to the previous Laurel and Hardy.
‘Plenty of time for us to score 2’ I say. If you substitute ‘us’ for ‘them’ and ‘2’ for ‘3’ I’d say I was bang on. 5 minutes later it’s 1-3. Have we left our half since the last goal? A left wing corner is flicked straight in. Simples. Contrast this with our corners on that side. Cleary kicks it short to someone, who passes it back to Cleary, who now tries to take the defender on to try and get a cross in. Madness. (Also, on one of our corners, our centre halves DON’T EVEN GO UP FOR IT. This is taking ‘new tictacs’ to a whole new level. Who doesn’t put their tallest players in the box for a corner? Who doesn’t put the ball in on a corner? (Barcelona, if you must know, in peak tiki-taka years. But you know what? They were the best team in the world. They had players like Messi. In fact, they had Messi. Et-f***ing-cetera. WE ARE NOT BARCELONA. JUST GET THE BALL F***ING IN.))
Stendel decides now is the time for the cavalry. Or it’s the time to put up the white flag. He’s taking off star man Cleary for Alker, and Former Captain Marvel Connell for Bland. I cheer Connell’s name...then get a chuckle for announcing ‘only joking!’ It’s come to this. Oh, and we’d already made 2 subs at HT, Richards coming on for re-debutant Larkeche (does he get 2 different alumni numbers for being here twice?) and the ineffectual Kirk replaced by his doppelganger, Farrell.*
*by doppelganger, I mean they’re both as useless as each other. But they try. And are trying. Very.
Anyway, the changes work. We hold Stevenage at bay for 6 minutes this time. This is possibly my favourite of their goals, cos I felt I could savour it in real time. It felt like their player had the ball for 5 minutes while Kelly and McGeehan refused to tackle him, and by the time they realise there might be some danger (they may have seen the white line of the penalty area) their bod has unleashed a daisy-cutter into the far corner. One bloody four and I think this is the main cue for the stands to empty. I don’t mind this. Makes me feel more part of an exclusive masochistic club.
Anyway, they give us a breather and the Aussie bloke comes on for the last 15. I hope he said thanks to Daniel, cos, by now, what’s the point? It’s clear no Barnsley player wants the ball. Nobody moves when we do have it and it starts feeling like every ball is a Connell chip forward to no-mans land, even when it isn’t Connell. It’s appalling stuff and I can’t get enough of it.
And the cherry on the icing on the cake, the coup de gras, the piece de resistance, the...last play of note rightfully goes to Stevenage. We are into injury time, 93rd minute, and ANOTHER COMEDY GOAL. A harmless (ho ho) ball in comes from the left and Kay somehow gets under it, and it goes over his head, leaving their bloke no choice but to sweep it in. Embarrassing.
Onwards and upwards!
*** No-one. I don’t care that we played well for half an hour. That second half was an embarrassment.
** No-one. If anyone tells me anybody played better than ‘No-one’ I WILL SCREAM.
* No-one. Hopefully this is the one for the season. Goalkeeper, Defence. Midfield. Up top. Absolute garbage.
Official MOTM: McGeehan (a captain’s performance!)
Londontykes’ MOTM: 1. Kelly 2. Kay 3. McGeehan
Despatches:
Nevermind the match, you should see the NEW IMPROVED HICKSY!!!! Back from death’s door, he’s a new man. Looks great, sounds even better, and without going into detail (ask him yourself) how utterly, utterly awesome that a second medical opinion has provided him with drugs that actually HELP rather than HINDER his performance. Good to have you back, pal.
Which leads me to those ‘MIA’ (Missing in Action). How dare Farnham go off on holiday and enjoy himself while we watch this rot. How very dare Lord Selwood go to Manchester Psychefest and potentially see The Beta Band and Angine de Poitrine (especially as I planned on going, but left it too late to get a ticket). But spare a thought for Nice Guy Chris, who couldn’t make it cos Dougal the cat (not named after fly by nite Reds Aussie midfielder…I think) needed the emergency vet. Anyway, Hicksy knows a good health practitioner. Dougal...get well soon, mate.
I can’t be bothered to obliterate each player via the medium of text, but I will mention that Ravenhill looked nervous and nearly gifted them a third, before they actually did. That battering could’ve been even worse. It’s up there (down there) with the worst second half performance I have ever seen from the ‘Super’ Reds. Even a Hourihane-inspired second half didn’t give us THIS last season. (Tho granted, EVERY second half was bad last season.)
ps, it was my new replica shirt’s debut. Lucky shirt or what!?
pps, if you’re at a loose end in town pre-match, get to the town hall and check out the town’s museum ‘Experience’ including a decent section on the Reds.
ppps, since the players have gone on holiday, so am I, so I’ll be missing the next 3 games. I look forward to in-depth coverage and positive critiques of all the players I don’t rate.
Drink du jour: Beartown Inception at Spiral.
Away: 129 (9,446). ‘We want 6. We want 6.’ Embarrassing. (Us, not them.)
The Damage:
18.22 ent
£8 petrol
= £26.22
(Season ticket £419...so 419 divided by how many league games I see and I’ve missed none so far. So £419/23)
‘He was born 50.’
Rumours of our resurrection have been greatly exaggerated. Satdy was simply embarrassing. Catastrophic. Disgusting. Unacceptable. And all the other hyperbole for an absolute sh*tshow. It’s bad enough being beaten by a non-lge team, but to concede 5 is something else. And to see my team, our team, simply GIVE UP in the second half was beyond the pale.
The way we’ve played this season, I could see us taking a beating off someone. You can’t play a back 2 (at times) and not expect the opposition to find holes. But this wasn’t the case Satdy. Stevenage didn’t sit back and hit us on the break. That second period was spent mostly in our half of the pitch, as we had forwards who couldn’t hold onto it, midfielders who couldn’t pass it and defenders who…Christ, the defenders. Trades Description Act and all that.
Yet it started so well. Half an hour in, we were leading one nil and seemed destined for more. ‘Will today be one of them stress-free 2, 3, 4 goals to nil?’, I mused. Diane doubted it. McGeehan had put us a goal up from the spot after Kelly’s shot was saved by a Stevenage defender masquerading as their goalkeeper. So far, so good. If we ignore Kirk missing an open goal from 4 yards. I’m sorry, but whether the cross took a deflection or not, he’s got a clear view of the ball, all the way to his swipe of it. You know what they say about a goal ‘doing wonders for a striker’s confidence’? Well, since that goal at Orient, he’s missed 2 open goals. He only scores when he’s concussed, and I bet there’d be a queue at Oakwell if he offers to let fans smack him in the face. Bloody useless, he is.
Stevenage (I’d use their nickname, but does anybody know it? Can they still be ‘The Boro’ if they’d dropped the only thing that’s interesting about them, their previous name of ‘Stevenage Borough’? Is this pure sour grapes? (No. I always think this.)) Am I waffling? Am I trying to take my mind OFF the game, rather than ON it? You betcha. They make a tactical sub on 23 – never too early in my book, if it’s all going wrong – and gradually they haul themselves in. Still, it’s a surprise when they score, but it’s up there with Stan and Ollie carrying some new glazing across a busy street.
A Stevo (that’ll do) smacks it against the bar and the ball goes up into the stratosphere. Ravenhill tracks it…then he doesn’t. Blinded by the sun, presumably. Another player who must be blinded by the sun (presumably he’s got eyes in the back of his head, cos he wasn’t looking at it) is McGeehan, who stands and gawps at it while the centre forward steps forward to divert in his own rebound off the back of his head. Now go and watch this on replay. You’ll notice this big, strapping forward not marked THROUGHOUT THIS MOVE. When the ball doesn’t go in first time, he checks back and he’s free throughout. Now, it’s true, the centre halves are marking players, but when the ball comes back in, right in the centre of the 6 yard box, HE’S ON HIS OWN. It’s someone’s fault, that’s all I’m saying.
Still, it’s half-time, we go again. We’re obviously the better team. It takes 7 minutes for The Boro to go ahead. Now, I have to cheat here and watch it again on t’gogglebox, cos I simply can’t remember how many mistakes there are before their player bundles it in on the back post. A free kick is pumped towards our box. We lose that header. Gale wins the next header, but flicks it on as if he’s playing for them. (Maybe he is?) Kay’s now got no choice but to flick it on again and all their bloke has to do is turn and get it on target, with Bland dangling a leg as it passes him by. Possibly as funny as their opener. Harold Lloyd to the previous Laurel and Hardy.
‘Plenty of time for us to score 2’ I say. If you substitute ‘us’ for ‘them’ and ‘2’ for ‘3’ I’d say I was bang on. 5 minutes later it’s 1-3. Have we left our half since the last goal? A left wing corner is flicked straight in. Simples. Contrast this with our corners on that side. Cleary kicks it short to someone, who passes it back to Cleary, who now tries to take the defender on to try and get a cross in. Madness. (Also, on one of our corners, our centre halves DON’T EVEN GO UP FOR IT. This is taking ‘new tictacs’ to a whole new level. Who doesn’t put their tallest players in the box for a corner? Who doesn’t put the ball in on a corner? (Barcelona, if you must know, in peak tiki-taka years. But you know what? They were the best team in the world. They had players like Messi. In fact, they had Messi. Et-f***ing-cetera. WE ARE NOT BARCELONA. JUST GET THE BALL F***ING IN.))
Stendel decides now is the time for the cavalry. Or it’s the time to put up the white flag. He’s taking off star man Cleary for Alker, and Former Captain Marvel Connell for Bland. I cheer Connell’s name...then get a chuckle for announcing ‘only joking!’ It’s come to this. Oh, and we’d already made 2 subs at HT, Richards coming on for re-debutant Larkeche (does he get 2 different alumni numbers for being here twice?) and the ineffectual Kirk replaced by his doppelganger, Farrell.*
*by doppelganger, I mean they’re both as useless as each other. But they try. And are trying. Very.
Anyway, the changes work. We hold Stevenage at bay for 6 minutes this time. This is possibly my favourite of their goals, cos I felt I could savour it in real time. It felt like their player had the ball for 5 minutes while Kelly and McGeehan refused to tackle him, and by the time they realise there might be some danger (they may have seen the white line of the penalty area) their bod has unleashed a daisy-cutter into the far corner. One bloody four and I think this is the main cue for the stands to empty. I don’t mind this. Makes me feel more part of an exclusive masochistic club.
Anyway, they give us a breather and the Aussie bloke comes on for the last 15. I hope he said thanks to Daniel, cos, by now, what’s the point? It’s clear no Barnsley player wants the ball. Nobody moves when we do have it and it starts feeling like every ball is a Connell chip forward to no-mans land, even when it isn’t Connell. It’s appalling stuff and I can’t get enough of it.
And the cherry on the icing on the cake, the coup de gras, the piece de resistance, the...last play of note rightfully goes to Stevenage. We are into injury time, 93rd minute, and ANOTHER COMEDY GOAL. A harmless (ho ho) ball in comes from the left and Kay somehow gets under it, and it goes over his head, leaving their bloke no choice but to sweep it in. Embarrassing.
Onwards and upwards!
*** No-one. I don’t care that we played well for half an hour. That second half was an embarrassment.
** No-one. If anyone tells me anybody played better than ‘No-one’ I WILL SCREAM.
* No-one. Hopefully this is the one for the season. Goalkeeper, Defence. Midfield. Up top. Absolute garbage.
Official MOTM: McGeehan (a captain’s performance!)
Londontykes’ MOTM: 1. Kelly 2. Kay 3. McGeehan
Despatches:
Nevermind the match, you should see the NEW IMPROVED HICKSY!!!! Back from death’s door, he’s a new man. Looks great, sounds even better, and without going into detail (ask him yourself) how utterly, utterly awesome that a second medical opinion has provided him with drugs that actually HELP rather than HINDER his performance. Good to have you back, pal.
Which leads me to those ‘MIA’ (Missing in Action). How dare Farnham go off on holiday and enjoy himself while we watch this rot. How very dare Lord Selwood go to Manchester Psychefest and potentially see The Beta Band and Angine de Poitrine (especially as I planned on going, but left it too late to get a ticket). But spare a thought for Nice Guy Chris, who couldn’t make it cos Dougal the cat (not named after fly by nite Reds Aussie midfielder…I think) needed the emergency vet. Anyway, Hicksy knows a good health practitioner. Dougal...get well soon, mate.
I can’t be bothered to obliterate each player via the medium of text, but I will mention that Ravenhill looked nervous and nearly gifted them a third, before they actually did. That battering could’ve been even worse. It’s up there (down there) with the worst second half performance I have ever seen from the ‘Super’ Reds. Even a Hourihane-inspired second half didn’t give us THIS last season. (Tho granted, EVERY second half was bad last season.)
ps, it was my new replica shirt’s debut. Lucky shirt or what!?
pps, if you’re at a loose end in town pre-match, get to the town hall and check out the town’s museum ‘Experience’ including a decent section on the Reds.
ppps, since the players have gone on holiday, so am I, so I’ll be missing the next 3 games. I look forward to in-depth coverage and positive critiques of all the players I don’t rate.
Drink du jour: Beartown Inception at Spiral.
Away: 129 (9,446). ‘We want 6. We want 6.’ Embarrassing. (Us, not them.)
The Damage:
18.22 ent
£8 petrol
= £26.22
(Season ticket £419...so 419 divided by how many league games I see and I’ve missed none so far. So £419/23)
Thursday, 3 September 2026
BFC 2-1 Blackpool, Wednesday 2nd September 2026
***there's a problem uploading photos...and it's not just my haplessness.
‘Get her a Slack-o-gram.’
When was the last time fans stuck around and serenaded the players off the pitch? That 4-2 against Washday? I dunno. Maybe it happens all the time and it’s just that I’m out the door as soon as the full-time whistle blows, but it was great to see so many fans stay behind last nite, as the Ponty sang ‘Barnsley’s going up again under Daniel Stendel.’ (It looks less catchy in writing.) The feelgood factor has returned! Will it stick around this time?
Another entertaining, attacking performance full of risks at the back...and another victory. Like last season, the bet appears to be BTTS (Both Teams To Score), the question being who’ll outscore who. I thank Nice Guy Chris for this stat (tho who knows where he got it from):
Most touches in the opposition box in the EFL this season:
Reds 165
Bristol Rovers 150
QPR 127
Cardiff 125
Stockport 124
That is INCREDIBLE. 15 touches ahead of 2nd, nearly 40 ahead of 3rd. Of course, one might say ‘goals scored’ is the crucial stat (if not ‘points won’) while who can say whether Cleary dilly-dallying is 100 of those touches? But still. The opposition can’t score if it’s in their box, surely? We are a pleasure to watch right now. As we were last season, when we were on the front foot. The difference is in our back 5:
Last season: Murphy/Crapman, O’Keeffe, Roberts, Shepherd, MdG
This season: Ravenhill, Kay, Gale, O’Riordan, Noslin.
I am tempted to say every single one of the current back 5 is an improvement on last season. Well done whoever signs these players. Early days, and maybe I’m still in my honeymoon period of not having to watch Shepherd and/or Roberts. (In years to come, I hope to look back fondly on quite how awful they were.)
We started slowly, Blackpool edging the opening 25 (the Tangerines hitting the post with a long range sighter), but thereafter, we looked comfortably the better side. But we still couldn’t score against a defence that included Josh Earl. (Add him to that list of hapless Reds’ defenders last season.) Even worse, when we were presented with the unmissable, it was Earl who blocked Kirk’s scuff on the line. Did I say unmissable? Kay plays in Kelly into the box, Kelly cuts back and puts it on a plate for Kirk, who can pick his spot. The pendulum has swung back in favour of ‘he’s useless’. He’s also soon to lose his place to this new Ivorian we’ve signed, surely.
That said, Blackpool had an opportunity early 2nd half which had 3 (count em!) unmissable opportunities in the same move, as the curse of the Ponty End box extended to their boots too. Maybe it was the new lights (see later)? O’Riordan (twice) and Bland cleared off the line from their unconvincing efforts, but how they didn’t score, I’ll never know.
It was end to end stuff, with Cleary seeing a good deal of ball and Kelly making runs, but it’s from a deadball we score. Noslin puts it in, it’s half-cleared and Kelly hits a bobbler from the edge of the box which is turned in by McGeehan. Johnny on the spot. It’s no fluke either, as he stretches out a stud to direct it in. I wonder to my neighbour whether we’ve gone ahead too early.
We have. Less than 3 minutes later, they’ve equalised. And if they’ve run out of creative options, there’s always the ‘letting a Red kick it to them.’ There’s a touch of misfortune as Bland’s attempt at a tackle rolls straight to their bloke, who squares it for the easy finish. Like Satdy, Ravenhill will never keep a clean sheet while we give them simple chances.
But we’re not deflated. Driven on by sub Richards, we’re looking dangerous. Richards himself has a scuffed effort (we seem to be specialising in ‘the scuff’ at mo...Kelly and McGeehan being masters too) deflected off the post by a defender and in the ensuing chaos Cleary sends a rebound across goal from 4 yards out.
It continues to be an open game and Blackpool blaze one over when the ref waves play-on after Kay chops their winger. Still, it’s nice to know some people know the rules and a Tangerine player helpfully reminds the ref about said foul until eventually, he pulls out the yellow card. Right decision, but still. (In the ref’s favour, he’s not slow in booking Blackpool players’ cynical fouls, 4 in all.)
By now, Connell is on for Bland. I didn’t see that coming. But I did call the next one, on-loan (Welcome back…Ziyad?) Larkeche on for a tired Noslin, Kay switching to right back. And did I mention Farrell coming on at half-time for Kirk? No I didn’t. Might as well be the same player. Tries hard to no effect.
And we go on to win it in controversial circumstances in the 87th minute. A Cleary cross is flicked on by Kelly for Richards to loop a perfect header over the keeper and into the far corner of the net. Seems fine to me (my instinct to look at the linesman suggested no infraction) but some of Blackpool’s players are going mad and convince the ref to consult his assistant. A photograph appears to show Kelly flicked it on with his hand, though you’d be hard-pressed to spot it in real time, and fortunately, the men in black don’t. Hopefully the Farnhams and Jonesys of this world will remember this when they’re totting up the Great Refereeing Conspiracy Theory against the Super Reds. (Or b) they weren’t there, so it didn’t happen.)
This could be a rollercoaster season. Hang on!
Onwards and upwards!
*** Richards. On at half-time for Alker, for me, he’s the difference between being on top 1st half and not scoring, and an even 2nd half, where we bagged 2.
** Kelly. Looked more like himself today, several runs at the defence gaining us yardage.
* McGeehan. Molly’s new favourite player. A steady head and always seems to know when to hold his ground and when to ghost forward to score.
Official MOTM: Kay
Londontykes’ MOTM: 1. McGeehan 2. Kelly 3. Richards
Despatches:
R.I.P. our floodlights. Well, rumours of their demise are perhaps greatly exaggerated at the moment, but it can’t be long. New bulbs in the roof make the floodlights surplus to requirements. If they’re packed off to Ken Booth’s scrapyard (ok, pedants, they’ve gone bust. And Ken died last year anyway) then I’ll be gravely disappointed. They’re part of the fabric of Oakwell. This town talks a good game with regards to its heritage, but I firmly expect they’ll go the same way of the early 20th century toilets of Peel Square. A landmark (can 4 floodlights be ‘a landmark’?) scrubbed from history.
Instead, we’ve got some (more) blinding lights off the roofs. Apparently, from the Ponty, the East Stand side looked dark. I know from my seat virtually on the halfway line, several times the brightness caught my eyes (and not in a good way). These could be teething issues, until they position them correctly, but it sounds worse in the lower decks, as the ball enters the orbit and you’re blinded by the light. Still, about time us heathens saw the light. But, please, don’t knock the floodlights down. (I believe at least one is used for communications, but let’s not leave just one up, either.)
I was also told the reason why we played Wednesday instead of Tuesday this week was cos of the transfer deadline. That makes sense. Had to make sure O’Keeffe left the building. How apt that his last ‘contribution’ was to give Leyton Orient a consolation last Satdy. Farewell, Corey. You leave with my best wishes (honestly). He could have been a contender, or, at the very least, a footballer. But he’ll never be a defender.
More crucially, we kept hold of all of our assets. I’d usually say ‘both of our assets’ (Cleary, Kelly) but I’d throw in Ravenhill, Kay and Bland (careful). The latter, especially, looks a lot better without having to kick the ball 6 yards square to Connell every time he gets it. Will Stendel resist temptation to bring the former captain back in? And how much did we turn down for Connell in the transfer window? (A club statement claimed we turned down overtures.)
Drink du jour: Beartown Inception at Spiral.
Away: c.600 (9,416).
The Damage:
£18.22 ent (Season ticket. £419/23 matches.)
£8 petrol
£55 home shirt (away shirts sold out)
= £81.22
‘Get her a Slack-o-gram.’
When was the last time fans stuck around and serenaded the players off the pitch? That 4-2 against Washday? I dunno. Maybe it happens all the time and it’s just that I’m out the door as soon as the full-time whistle blows, but it was great to see so many fans stay behind last nite, as the Ponty sang ‘Barnsley’s going up again under Daniel Stendel.’ (It looks less catchy in writing.) The feelgood factor has returned! Will it stick around this time?
Another entertaining, attacking performance full of risks at the back...and another victory. Like last season, the bet appears to be BTTS (Both Teams To Score), the question being who’ll outscore who. I thank Nice Guy Chris for this stat (tho who knows where he got it from):
Most touches in the opposition box in the EFL this season:
Reds 165
Bristol Rovers 150
QPR 127
Cardiff 125
Stockport 124
That is INCREDIBLE. 15 touches ahead of 2nd, nearly 40 ahead of 3rd. Of course, one might say ‘goals scored’ is the crucial stat (if not ‘points won’) while who can say whether Cleary dilly-dallying is 100 of those touches? But still. The opposition can’t score if it’s in their box, surely? We are a pleasure to watch right now. As we were last season, when we were on the front foot. The difference is in our back 5:
Last season: Murphy/Crapman, O’Keeffe, Roberts, Shepherd, MdG
This season: Ravenhill, Kay, Gale, O’Riordan, Noslin.
I am tempted to say every single one of the current back 5 is an improvement on last season. Well done whoever signs these players. Early days, and maybe I’m still in my honeymoon period of not having to watch Shepherd and/or Roberts. (In years to come, I hope to look back fondly on quite how awful they were.)
We started slowly, Blackpool edging the opening 25 (the Tangerines hitting the post with a long range sighter), but thereafter, we looked comfortably the better side. But we still couldn’t score against a defence that included Josh Earl. (Add him to that list of hapless Reds’ defenders last season.) Even worse, when we were presented with the unmissable, it was Earl who blocked Kirk’s scuff on the line. Did I say unmissable? Kay plays in Kelly into the box, Kelly cuts back and puts it on a plate for Kirk, who can pick his spot. The pendulum has swung back in favour of ‘he’s useless’. He’s also soon to lose his place to this new Ivorian we’ve signed, surely.
That said, Blackpool had an opportunity early 2nd half which had 3 (count em!) unmissable opportunities in the same move, as the curse of the Ponty End box extended to their boots too. Maybe it was the new lights (see later)? O’Riordan (twice) and Bland cleared off the line from their unconvincing efforts, but how they didn’t score, I’ll never know.
It was end to end stuff, with Cleary seeing a good deal of ball and Kelly making runs, but it’s from a deadball we score. Noslin puts it in, it’s half-cleared and Kelly hits a bobbler from the edge of the box which is turned in by McGeehan. Johnny on the spot. It’s no fluke either, as he stretches out a stud to direct it in. I wonder to my neighbour whether we’ve gone ahead too early.
We have. Less than 3 minutes later, they’ve equalised. And if they’ve run out of creative options, there’s always the ‘letting a Red kick it to them.’ There’s a touch of misfortune as Bland’s attempt at a tackle rolls straight to their bloke, who squares it for the easy finish. Like Satdy, Ravenhill will never keep a clean sheet while we give them simple chances.
But we’re not deflated. Driven on by sub Richards, we’re looking dangerous. Richards himself has a scuffed effort (we seem to be specialising in ‘the scuff’ at mo...Kelly and McGeehan being masters too) deflected off the post by a defender and in the ensuing chaos Cleary sends a rebound across goal from 4 yards out.
It continues to be an open game and Blackpool blaze one over when the ref waves play-on after Kay chops their winger. Still, it’s nice to know some people know the rules and a Tangerine player helpfully reminds the ref about said foul until eventually, he pulls out the yellow card. Right decision, but still. (In the ref’s favour, he’s not slow in booking Blackpool players’ cynical fouls, 4 in all.)
By now, Connell is on for Bland. I didn’t see that coming. But I did call the next one, on-loan (Welcome back…Ziyad?) Larkeche on for a tired Noslin, Kay switching to right back. And did I mention Farrell coming on at half-time for Kirk? No I didn’t. Might as well be the same player. Tries hard to no effect.
And we go on to win it in controversial circumstances in the 87th minute. A Cleary cross is flicked on by Kelly for Richards to loop a perfect header over the keeper and into the far corner of the net. Seems fine to me (my instinct to look at the linesman suggested no infraction) but some of Blackpool’s players are going mad and convince the ref to consult his assistant. A photograph appears to show Kelly flicked it on with his hand, though you’d be hard-pressed to spot it in real time, and fortunately, the men in black don’t. Hopefully the Farnhams and Jonesys of this world will remember this when they’re totting up the Great Refereeing Conspiracy Theory against the Super Reds. (Or b) they weren’t there, so it didn’t happen.)
This could be a rollercoaster season. Hang on!
Onwards and upwards!
*** Richards. On at half-time for Alker, for me, he’s the difference between being on top 1st half and not scoring, and an even 2nd half, where we bagged 2.
** Kelly. Looked more like himself today, several runs at the defence gaining us yardage.
* McGeehan. Molly’s new favourite player. A steady head and always seems to know when to hold his ground and when to ghost forward to score.
Official MOTM: Kay
Londontykes’ MOTM: 1. McGeehan 2. Kelly 3. Richards
Despatches:
R.I.P. our floodlights. Well, rumours of their demise are perhaps greatly exaggerated at the moment, but it can’t be long. New bulbs in the roof make the floodlights surplus to requirements. If they’re packed off to Ken Booth’s scrapyard (ok, pedants, they’ve gone bust. And Ken died last year anyway) then I’ll be gravely disappointed. They’re part of the fabric of Oakwell. This town talks a good game with regards to its heritage, but I firmly expect they’ll go the same way of the early 20th century toilets of Peel Square. A landmark (can 4 floodlights be ‘a landmark’?) scrubbed from history.
Instead, we’ve got some (more) blinding lights off the roofs. Apparently, from the Ponty, the East Stand side looked dark. I know from my seat virtually on the halfway line, several times the brightness caught my eyes (and not in a good way). These could be teething issues, until they position them correctly, but it sounds worse in the lower decks, as the ball enters the orbit and you’re blinded by the light. Still, about time us heathens saw the light. But, please, don’t knock the floodlights down. (I believe at least one is used for communications, but let’s not leave just one up, either.)
I was also told the reason why we played Wednesday instead of Tuesday this week was cos of the transfer deadline. That makes sense. Had to make sure O’Keeffe left the building. How apt that his last ‘contribution’ was to give Leyton Orient a consolation last Satdy. Farewell, Corey. You leave with my best wishes (honestly). He could have been a contender, or, at the very least, a footballer. But he’ll never be a defender.
More crucially, we kept hold of all of our assets. I’d usually say ‘both of our assets’ (Cleary, Kelly) but I’d throw in Ravenhill, Kay and Bland (careful). The latter, especially, looks a lot better without having to kick the ball 6 yards square to Connell every time he gets it. Will Stendel resist temptation to bring the former captain back in? And how much did we turn down for Connell in the transfer window? (A club statement claimed we turned down overtures.)
Drink du jour: Beartown Inception at Spiral.
Away: c.600 (9,416).
The Damage:
£18.22 ent (Season ticket. £419/23 matches.)
£8 petrol
£55 home shirt (away shirts sold out)
= £81.22
Tuesday, 1 September 2026
Curzon Ashton 2-0 Ashton United, Monday 31st August 2026
*** currently unable to add photos. If i knew why, I'd do it!
Curzon Ashton 2-0 Ashton United, Northern Premier League Premier Division, Tameside Stadium, att. 705
I’ve received a text from one of my neighbours, John. It’s the Ashton derby on Bank Holiday Monday. Do I fancy it? John’s not even a football fan, but he’s keen to support our new neighbour, Aidan, who’s only the goalkeeper of Curzon Ashton! We’d talked previously of going to see him/them, but I was away when they played at one of our local teams Emley. My only problem is I’m missing out on my 2nd team Darlington playing at Radcliffe, but whatthehell. I’m in. We also rope in Dan, who’s the meat in John and I’s house sandwich.
I offer to drive, but I feel I’m impinging on John’s alpha status and I happily accede to his offer to be the chauffeur. It’s not often I ride in a BMW. It’s about 25 minutes to Ashton, but then probably another 25 minutes getting to the bit of Ashton where Curzon play, notwithstanding a road closure. I have a horrible feeling the car park will be full by the time we pull up, but I’ve never seen so many spaces in it. I guess the sports facility that’s usually teeming is strangely under-utilised today, because the attendance at the match is nearly double what I’m used to here. There’s actually a queue at the turnstile. John is unfortunately blind-sided by a 14 quid entry. ‘I thought it’d be about a fiver.’
We go in the home end. I’ve never seen the Tameside Stadium segregated before, but the large roofed terrace opposite the main stand has been given over to Ashton United today. We decide we’ll stand behind this near goal, in order to give Aidan our ‘support’. But what’s this? There was a roof here last time, albeit one cobbled together with scaffolding. Where’s it gone? And the huge scoreboard on the corner. That’s disappeared too. Cost-cutting with relegation? Let’s hope it doesn’t rain. (It does. At one point, it chucks it down.)
We haven’t told Aidan we’re coming, but I think he hears me when United get a corner and I announce ‘this keeper’s susceptible!’. I’m not sure he gets barracked with ‘susceptible’ much. Or it could be that my accent stands out and he recognises it. Either way, he deals with any cross or throughball to perfection, while his only challenge 1st half is to control a bouncing backpass. United are strangely not up to much.
With hindsight, the game is decided as early as the 3rd minute when Brad Holmes shoots home. He doubles the lead just after the half hour mark and it really is easy for the home side. Ashton’s followers take solace in chanting ‘we’ve got more fans than you’, which, although probably true in general, isn’t quite the case today amongst the 705 in attendance.
Half-time comes and the lads are hungry, so they go under the main stand to scout some scran, while I queue up at the social club for more beer. This is as close to ‘proper football’ as we get today, as it takes both parties till the second half has begun to be served. I can’t help but think there’s inefficiencies in the drinks’ service. Why doesn’t one staff member just stand there pouring pints while the other serves? Or even (radical thought) get a 3rd member of staff in there? This is a derby, you’d think they’d be warned. In the food queue, burgers and pies run out by the time John and Dan reach the front and they take what’s left: chips covered in curry sauce. Still, it’s something.
We plan to go to the far end this time, another open terrace, but it’s not immediately clear how we get there. Probably why there’s only about half a dozen at this end. I tell the lads to ‘follow me’ as I guide us up the stand, along the back, and down again. Yes, there’s a way through. This time, there’s no mistaking us and in a break of play Aidan comes over, says hi and thanks us for coming. Thank YOU.
At least this half, he’s forced to make a save, as he races out to block a close range effort. Otherwise, the main ‘action’ is a United player crashing into the perimeter fence and (we think) breaking his wrist. It doesn’t look good, and play is held up for 5 minutes. Still, it’s not often I chat with a player during a game.
Otherwise, the half is fairly devoid of action. Curzon look happy to see it out, while United look incapable of making a game of it. Before kick-off, Ashton were slightly ahead, having made a better start to the season, but this win sees Curzon overtake them. The home side have ambitions of challenging for promotion and after a statement 3-1 win at league leaders Cleethorpes on the previous Friday, are looking good. Onwards and upwards! Good luck Aidan!
The Damage:
£14 ent
£16.30 2 pints of Staropramen and a Worthingtons
= £30.30
Curzon Ashton 2-0 Ashton United, Northern Premier League Premier Division, Tameside Stadium, att. 705
I’ve received a text from one of my neighbours, John. It’s the Ashton derby on Bank Holiday Monday. Do I fancy it? John’s not even a football fan, but he’s keen to support our new neighbour, Aidan, who’s only the goalkeeper of Curzon Ashton! We’d talked previously of going to see him/them, but I was away when they played at one of our local teams Emley. My only problem is I’m missing out on my 2nd team Darlington playing at Radcliffe, but whatthehell. I’m in. We also rope in Dan, who’s the meat in John and I’s house sandwich.
I offer to drive, but I feel I’m impinging on John’s alpha status and I happily accede to his offer to be the chauffeur. It’s not often I ride in a BMW. It’s about 25 minutes to Ashton, but then probably another 25 minutes getting to the bit of Ashton where Curzon play, notwithstanding a road closure. I have a horrible feeling the car park will be full by the time we pull up, but I’ve never seen so many spaces in it. I guess the sports facility that’s usually teeming is strangely under-utilised today, because the attendance at the match is nearly double what I’m used to here. There’s actually a queue at the turnstile. John is unfortunately blind-sided by a 14 quid entry. ‘I thought it’d be about a fiver.’
We go in the home end. I’ve never seen the Tameside Stadium segregated before, but the large roofed terrace opposite the main stand has been given over to Ashton United today. We decide we’ll stand behind this near goal, in order to give Aidan our ‘support’. But what’s this? There was a roof here last time, albeit one cobbled together with scaffolding. Where’s it gone? And the huge scoreboard on the corner. That’s disappeared too. Cost-cutting with relegation? Let’s hope it doesn’t rain. (It does. At one point, it chucks it down.)
We haven’t told Aidan we’re coming, but I think he hears me when United get a corner and I announce ‘this keeper’s susceptible!’. I’m not sure he gets barracked with ‘susceptible’ much. Or it could be that my accent stands out and he recognises it. Either way, he deals with any cross or throughball to perfection, while his only challenge 1st half is to control a bouncing backpass. United are strangely not up to much.
With hindsight, the game is decided as early as the 3rd minute when Brad Holmes shoots home. He doubles the lead just after the half hour mark and it really is easy for the home side. Ashton’s followers take solace in chanting ‘we’ve got more fans than you’, which, although probably true in general, isn’t quite the case today amongst the 705 in attendance.
Half-time comes and the lads are hungry, so they go under the main stand to scout some scran, while I queue up at the social club for more beer. This is as close to ‘proper football’ as we get today, as it takes both parties till the second half has begun to be served. I can’t help but think there’s inefficiencies in the drinks’ service. Why doesn’t one staff member just stand there pouring pints while the other serves? Or even (radical thought) get a 3rd member of staff in there? This is a derby, you’d think they’d be warned. In the food queue, burgers and pies run out by the time John and Dan reach the front and they take what’s left: chips covered in curry sauce. Still, it’s something.
We plan to go to the far end this time, another open terrace, but it’s not immediately clear how we get there. Probably why there’s only about half a dozen at this end. I tell the lads to ‘follow me’ as I guide us up the stand, along the back, and down again. Yes, there’s a way through. This time, there’s no mistaking us and in a break of play Aidan comes over, says hi and thanks us for coming. Thank YOU.
At least this half, he’s forced to make a save, as he races out to block a close range effort. Otherwise, the main ‘action’ is a United player crashing into the perimeter fence and (we think) breaking his wrist. It doesn’t look good, and play is held up for 5 minutes. Still, it’s not often I chat with a player during a game.
Otherwise, the half is fairly devoid of action. Curzon look happy to see it out, while United look incapable of making a game of it. Before kick-off, Ashton were slightly ahead, having made a better start to the season, but this win sees Curzon overtake them. The home side have ambitions of challenging for promotion and after a statement 3-1 win at league leaders Cleethorpes on the previous Friday, are looking good. Onwards and upwards! Good luck Aidan!
The Damage:
£14 ent
£16.30 2 pints of Staropramen and a Worthingtons
= £30.30
Sunday, 30 August 2026
Leyton Orient 1-3 BFC, Saturday 29th August 2026
***having probs uploading photos
‘Do you make a carafe snake?’
It’s amazing what can happen when Luca Connell isn’t anchoring our midfield (‘anchoring’ as in ‘holding it back’? Making sure it goes nowhere?). 2 wins in 2 games, 6 goals scored. Numerous attacks. Camped in their half. Yeah, yeah, there’s a limited statistical spread to come to conclusions, but why spoil my fun? Satdy was tip-top. We bossed it from start to finish. Orient were reliant on the odd counter attack and giving the ball to Corey O’Keeffe (more later).
New signing O’Riordan (from Blackburn) slotted in nicely at centre half beside Gale but left me wondering whyever Blackpool would sign Josh Earl. Doesn’t their scouting system extend to East Lancashire? This bloke looks great. (Early days, etc). So Kay’s position this week was left back, with Noslin on the opposite flank. Otherwise, same as it’s been, which can only help understanding.
Early entertainment came from the ref, who thought Gale was injured so waved on the physio despite Gale telling him he didn’t need him. So the ref made Gale go off for a minute, as per these new rules. That is INSANE. Why can’t the ref just change his mind? If he gives a penalty, then realises he was wrong, he can reverse his decision. This makes no sense to me. ‘Yer clueless ref’ I shout…’already’ adds A. Reed, perhaps thinking I hadn’t finished my sentence.
Still, those there may forget that the Orient fans had already given him a round of ‘you’re not fit to referee’ and while his decisions continued to be...errr...inconsistent, he did manage to give us a penalty…before a blatant elbow to the head of one of our ethnically diverse players (I forget which) didn’t even bring a free kick. (I guess if he gave the free kick, he’d have to send their bloke off). All in all, standard 3rd division refereeing.
Still, we escaped an early scare, as Ravenhill gave the ball straight to them, 30 yards out, and he DIDN’T just lob it back over the keeper’s head. Within minutes we are ahead, as Kay plays a sublime ball down the left* for Cleary to run onto before crossing low for Kirk to slide into an empty net. Honestly, even Kirk looked like a footballer today, putting in a shift, scoring, and challenging for every ball. Doesn’t make my top 3 though. And we really should have nailed Orient to the cross that half. I don’t know how many times Cleary had the chance to destroy their right back, but he has to know when to part with the ball and when to shoot.
*after taking their player on. Lose it and they’re 2 on 1. Welcome to Stendelball! High risk football bringing high rewards...or losses.
Half-time, and Stendel sends on Richards for Alker. Now, Richards didn’t impress on debut (Wigan?) but between him and Noslin, they make mincemeat of the Orient left. When was the last time you saw one of our players kick a ball past an opponent and then go round him the other way? Well, you’d still be waiting, cos Richards has his ankle clipped as he does this. Penalty. (I’ve since watched it a dozen times and I couldn’t tell you if the contact is actually inside the box, but the player certainly lands in it.) McGeehan sends the keeper the wrong way in convincing fashion. This is more like it!
0-2 is still not a fair reflection, however, but the Super Reds aren’t finished yet. Richards and Nozzer (is Nozzer’s favourite player Tyrese ‘Nozzer’ Noslin, I wonder?) combine again and the ball drops loose to Cleary, who takes a touch and rockets it in from just inside the box. This is more like it, part II. The obligatory fire drill starts in the home end and we’re left to play the last 15 at a canter.
Farrell and O’Keeffe come on for Kirk and Cleary. I kid you not, I was thinking earlier, the only chance Orient have is if we send Shepherd on (which would have been difficult, as he wasn’t even on the bench) but surely the next best is Corey O’Keeffe. What did I say the other nite? ‘He could be an asset as long as he has no defensive responsibility.’ He isn’t and did, a header towards Ravenhill latched upon by their centre forward to bury. Momentum switched in the snap of fingers. (And I don’t know why I’m coming to the defence of a defender who can’t defend, but maybe this goal doesn’t happen if Ravenhill isn’t so far back. But I’m not paid to defend, O’Keeffe is.) A clean sheet ruined. (Like at Rovrum last season when we sent Shepherd on to concede a penalty.)
Onwards and upwards!
*** Noslin. Excellent again. Looks a threat, but also passes a ball to his teammates.
** Richards. BFC need to be proscribed as a terrorist organisation the way this bloke came on and frightened them to death. Set up 2 goals, and a great partnership with Nozzer.
* O’Riordan. Commanding. How have Blackburn let him go?
Londontykes’ MOTM: 1. Noslin 2. Cleary 3. O’Riordan
Despatches:
In a change to previous visits, it was the turn of the post-match to go wrong. It was bad enough that we were making our way to a back street boozer near neither Leyton nor Kings X (Reedy and I getting a train back)…but then a jumper on the line near Leyton downs the tube. Central Line out, that was 25 mins walk (and the rest) to Stratford, before 5 minutes’ walk from Liverpool Street becomes 15. I calculate we spent longer walking to our pint (singular) than the time we spent drinking said pint.
Pre-match was spent under the arches at Leyton Midland Station at Gravity Well. I’m sold on this place. Excellent range of beers and I can get away with drinking strong ale in two-thirds measures. My kind of drinking.
It was also great to see Waddinho come in from the cold (East Anglia, somewhere). We complimented each other on the nice food we’ve both obviously eaten since we last saw each other. It was nice to meet junior too…so junior he’s just completed his GCSEs!
The players? They were excellent, though looking thru the list, I can’t remember Alkerpops making a contribution. Perhaps that’s why he was hauled at HT? And Bland played well, though his highlight was running 20 yards to join in a row. It’s not a game of football if he doesn’t get booked. It’s in his contract. And in one game, we’ve jumped from 21st to 9th. By my reckoning, we’ll be top of the table in a fortnight. Nice also to hear the latest chance, summat about Stendel taking us up ‘again’. It’s the ‘again’ I like. (Brought to youse from the same yoof who brought us Hourihane taking us to the promised land, but still.)
Oh, and while not strictly matchday, I’ll share this from the previous day down in Camberwell, Sarf Landan. Starving, and craving a bacon sandwich, I walked into a café on the way to my house. The Gods were truly looking down on me. There, before my very eyes, was a beautiful tray of bacon, sizzling away, ready to put between two slices of Mother’s Pride. ‘Can I have a bacon sandwich, please?’ ‘No. I know it says we’re a café outside, but this is actually a New York-style deli.’ Eh? So I look at the board, 7 items I don’t even know what they are…’what’s the….?’ ‘Oh, we’re not serving yet, but you’ll be able to see what we’ve got when I put the menus out.’ I stagger out in shellshock. Thank goodness The Pelican (a student gaff over the road from my old house) could manage to do me a salmon and cream cheese bagel without the cream cheese! What is happening in this world!? If I was a hospitality business, I’d be trying to attract customers, not dissuading them from ever going to my business again.
Drink du jour: The Casimir Effect NEIPA at Gravity Well.
Away: 636 (8,642).
The Damage:
£30 ent
£60.10 train
= £90.10
‘Do you make a carafe snake?’
It’s amazing what can happen when Luca Connell isn’t anchoring our midfield (‘anchoring’ as in ‘holding it back’? Making sure it goes nowhere?). 2 wins in 2 games, 6 goals scored. Numerous attacks. Camped in their half. Yeah, yeah, there’s a limited statistical spread to come to conclusions, but why spoil my fun? Satdy was tip-top. We bossed it from start to finish. Orient were reliant on the odd counter attack and giving the ball to Corey O’Keeffe (more later).
New signing O’Riordan (from Blackburn) slotted in nicely at centre half beside Gale but left me wondering whyever Blackpool would sign Josh Earl. Doesn’t their scouting system extend to East Lancashire? This bloke looks great. (Early days, etc). So Kay’s position this week was left back, with Noslin on the opposite flank. Otherwise, same as it’s been, which can only help understanding.
Early entertainment came from the ref, who thought Gale was injured so waved on the physio despite Gale telling him he didn’t need him. So the ref made Gale go off for a minute, as per these new rules. That is INSANE. Why can’t the ref just change his mind? If he gives a penalty, then realises he was wrong, he can reverse his decision. This makes no sense to me. ‘Yer clueless ref’ I shout…’already’ adds A. Reed, perhaps thinking I hadn’t finished my sentence.
Still, those there may forget that the Orient fans had already given him a round of ‘you’re not fit to referee’ and while his decisions continued to be...errr...inconsistent, he did manage to give us a penalty…before a blatant elbow to the head of one of our ethnically diverse players (I forget which) didn’t even bring a free kick. (I guess if he gave the free kick, he’d have to send their bloke off). All in all, standard 3rd division refereeing.
Still, we escaped an early scare, as Ravenhill gave the ball straight to them, 30 yards out, and he DIDN’T just lob it back over the keeper’s head. Within minutes we are ahead, as Kay plays a sublime ball down the left* for Cleary to run onto before crossing low for Kirk to slide into an empty net. Honestly, even Kirk looked like a footballer today, putting in a shift, scoring, and challenging for every ball. Doesn’t make my top 3 though. And we really should have nailed Orient to the cross that half. I don’t know how many times Cleary had the chance to destroy their right back, but he has to know when to part with the ball and when to shoot.
*after taking their player on. Lose it and they’re 2 on 1. Welcome to Stendelball! High risk football bringing high rewards...or losses.
Half-time, and Stendel sends on Richards for Alker. Now, Richards didn’t impress on debut (Wigan?) but between him and Noslin, they make mincemeat of the Orient left. When was the last time you saw one of our players kick a ball past an opponent and then go round him the other way? Well, you’d still be waiting, cos Richards has his ankle clipped as he does this. Penalty. (I’ve since watched it a dozen times and I couldn’t tell you if the contact is actually inside the box, but the player certainly lands in it.) McGeehan sends the keeper the wrong way in convincing fashion. This is more like it!
0-2 is still not a fair reflection, however, but the Super Reds aren’t finished yet. Richards and Nozzer (is Nozzer’s favourite player Tyrese ‘Nozzer’ Noslin, I wonder?) combine again and the ball drops loose to Cleary, who takes a touch and rockets it in from just inside the box. This is more like it, part II. The obligatory fire drill starts in the home end and we’re left to play the last 15 at a canter.
Farrell and O’Keeffe come on for Kirk and Cleary. I kid you not, I was thinking earlier, the only chance Orient have is if we send Shepherd on (which would have been difficult, as he wasn’t even on the bench) but surely the next best is Corey O’Keeffe. What did I say the other nite? ‘He could be an asset as long as he has no defensive responsibility.’ He isn’t and did, a header towards Ravenhill latched upon by their centre forward to bury. Momentum switched in the snap of fingers. (And I don’t know why I’m coming to the defence of a defender who can’t defend, but maybe this goal doesn’t happen if Ravenhill isn’t so far back. But I’m not paid to defend, O’Keeffe is.) A clean sheet ruined. (Like at Rovrum last season when we sent Shepherd on to concede a penalty.)
Onwards and upwards!
*** Noslin. Excellent again. Looks a threat, but also passes a ball to his teammates.
** Richards. BFC need to be proscribed as a terrorist organisation the way this bloke came on and frightened them to death. Set up 2 goals, and a great partnership with Nozzer.
* O’Riordan. Commanding. How have Blackburn let him go?
Londontykes’ MOTM: 1. Noslin 2. Cleary 3. O’Riordan
Despatches:
In a change to previous visits, it was the turn of the post-match to go wrong. It was bad enough that we were making our way to a back street boozer near neither Leyton nor Kings X (Reedy and I getting a train back)…but then a jumper on the line near Leyton downs the tube. Central Line out, that was 25 mins walk (and the rest) to Stratford, before 5 minutes’ walk from Liverpool Street becomes 15. I calculate we spent longer walking to our pint (singular) than the time we spent drinking said pint.
Pre-match was spent under the arches at Leyton Midland Station at Gravity Well. I’m sold on this place. Excellent range of beers and I can get away with drinking strong ale in two-thirds measures. My kind of drinking.
It was also great to see Waddinho come in from the cold (East Anglia, somewhere). We complimented each other on the nice food we’ve both obviously eaten since we last saw each other. It was nice to meet junior too…so junior he’s just completed his GCSEs!
The players? They were excellent, though looking thru the list, I can’t remember Alkerpops making a contribution. Perhaps that’s why he was hauled at HT? And Bland played well, though his highlight was running 20 yards to join in a row. It’s not a game of football if he doesn’t get booked. It’s in his contract. And in one game, we’ve jumped from 21st to 9th. By my reckoning, we’ll be top of the table in a fortnight. Nice also to hear the latest chance, summat about Stendel taking us up ‘again’. It’s the ‘again’ I like. (Brought to youse from the same yoof who brought us Hourihane taking us to the promised land, but still.)
Oh, and while not strictly matchday, I’ll share this from the previous day down in Camberwell, Sarf Landan. Starving, and craving a bacon sandwich, I walked into a café on the way to my house. The Gods were truly looking down on me. There, before my very eyes, was a beautiful tray of bacon, sizzling away, ready to put between two slices of Mother’s Pride. ‘Can I have a bacon sandwich, please?’ ‘No. I know it says we’re a café outside, but this is actually a New York-style deli.’ Eh? So I look at the board, 7 items I don’t even know what they are…’what’s the….?’ ‘Oh, we’re not serving yet, but you’ll be able to see what we’ve got when I put the menus out.’ I stagger out in shellshock. Thank goodness The Pelican (a student gaff over the road from my old house) could manage to do me a salmon and cream cheese bagel without the cream cheese! What is happening in this world!? If I was a hospitality business, I’d be trying to attract customers, not dissuading them from ever going to my business again.
Drink du jour: The Casimir Effect NEIPA at Gravity Well.
Away: 636 (8,642).
The Damage:
£30 ent
£60.10 train
= £90.10
Wednesday, 26 August 2026
BFC 3-2 Crewe Alexandra, Tuesday 25th August 2026
*** probs uploading photos
‘Are we playing 2 at the back tonight?’
I’ve got to admit, I really enjoyed that game last nite. Reward for turning out for an early round league cup tie that invariably ends with us losing to some lower league outfit while playing our Under 21s. Indeed, we still played our under 21s, but these days it’s our 1st team. The latter stages were a real treat as Stendel threw on player after player I’ve never heard of. (Luckily, I had Under 21 season ticket holder P. Norris to guide me.)
The other thing that struck me was how fluid our formation was. And by ‘fluid’ I mean ‘I haven’t a clue what it was at any given moment.’ Certainly it was a back 2, with whoever was meant to be playing either fullback about 20 yards ahead of Gale and Kay (the latter having been switched from fullback). And as players buzzed hither and thither (inc wingers switching wings, Kirk dropping deep into his own half from centre forward) it was a whirlwind. But the second half especially, we dominated possession and players found each other despite/because of the movement. I am loathe to get excited, but this level of understanding amongst the players bodes well.
There was also no Luca Connell, so that was a bonus. Come to think, I can’t remember any random chips over the defence to their keeper. Maybe this passing and moving thing will catch on? Some bloke called O’Keeffe was recalled, and he was everywhere, keeping moves going with quick passes, while constantly demanding the ball. A real leader’s performance amongst a bunch of kids, I thought. And he scored. I know, I can’t believe it either.
Still, it could have been so, so, different. It was fine, us going forward, looking all fancy, but let’s be blunt. When we attacked it was 7 v 7, but every time we gave the ball away, they were 2 v 2. Worse, they went ahead when Kay stepped forward to shoot, the ball ricocheted to them and with one pass they were 2 on ONE. The pass was easy, as was the finish. Not long after, they were 2 on 1 again, but the ref pulled Bland up for a foul (booked, as per). This ref will never get his promotion at this rate, but thanks anyway.
Then, just as I speculate that if we don’t score tonite, that’s 3 goalless games in 4, against sub-standard opposition...we score 2 in 2 minutes. Crewe turn providers, a careless pass intercepted by Cleary, who takes it past his man with his first touch, before burying it across the keeper. Maybe we WILL get that 3 million after all? Then O’Keeffe plays Kelly in with a beautiful reverse pass and his subsequent low cross falls to Noslin to sidefoot home. It’s easy this football malarkey.
There is still time for Kirk not to win a penalty (he was clipped when about to score*) before O’Keeffe makes it 3 goals in 9 minutes. We’d not scored 3 goals in our previous 3 games. The ball is half-cleared to Corey just inside the corner of the box and he controls it and sends it into the far top corner. Where’s he been hiding all this time? Hoddle-esque (and I don’t mean the God bothering bit). Wonderful finish and (I’ve read) his 1st ever goal for us. This bloke could actually be an asset, as long as we don’t give him any defensive responsibility.
*I know, I know. He’ll never score a goal as long as I’ve got a hole in my bottom, as they say. But even HE would’ve scored this one, 8 yards out, keeper rooted.
Second half was a procession. Crewe hardly saw the ball, as wave after wave of attacks led to us breaking the ‘modern English domestic record for a single club in the Opta era’ over our number of corners (20) while we also had 30 shots (for an xG of less than 2, cheers Farnham!) What does this say? Well, our corners from the left were taken short and usually ended with Cleary having to beat his man to get the cross in that we could’ve had from the off, while those from the right were floated in right-footed to be headed away. The shots? As soon as we got 25 yards from their goal, we had a punt. So, we’ve no faith in winning a header off a corner, and we’ve little faith in working an opportunity in the final third? Or were players seeing glory as we were 3-1 up and cruising?
Of course, this was where Stendel started chucking on subs. Taylor (the Aussie) on for Alker and Noah Town on for Kirk (67). Then on 80, Saunders (who?) on for O’Keeffe and Farrell on for McGeehan. What does that make our average age now? 14? Don’t worry tho, there’s still time for Noslin to be replaced by Dunne (who I’m told is son of Dunne. Richard Dunne.) That last 5 minutes, we are hanging on for dear life. We’d already been warned, Ravenhill making an excellent stop on the front post, and a close-range shot hitting the bar, but the damn bursts as a cross is headed home inbetween Gale and Kay, who both look at each other like it’s the other one’s fault. It probably is. (Funnily enough, we looked worse at fullback once we actually had 2 fullbacks, tho Nozzer reckons they were 17, so I shouldn’t be too harsh.) Then, in injury time, Ravenhill pulls off a worldy to prevent it going to pens, and Crewe blast a free kick into the stand with full-time looming. I am struck by the thought that it is August and I may already have seen our best match of the season.
Onwards and upwards!
*** O’Keeffe. I thought he was great, floating around, instigating moves, never losing it, demanding a pass. Looked like the experienced leader he should be, rather than the hapless defender he’s been. Great goal btw.
** Cleary. Scored and a constant pest. Hung back to wave us all farewell at the end. Or do we get one more game out of him?
* Kay. I already love this guy. Him and Ravenhill. Pacey, and reads the game, so even when Gale’s out of position he covers. And not afraid to bring the ball out and have a shot. (Word to the wise: someone – Bland? – needs to cover him when he goes forward.)
Official MOTM: Cleary
Londontykes’ MOTM: 1. Cleary 2. Kay 3. O’Keeffe
Despatches:
As ever, Nice Guy Chris got the half-time draw tickets in. The low crowd apparently increased his chances of winning. (Did you, Chris?) I also had my first chance at using the new, improved, box office. And by ‘improved’, I meant I got to stand outside in a queue instead of indoors. This’ll be grand when Oakwell’s blowing a gale come November. Still, people say I’m a miserable pessimist, but here I am, talking like there’s going to be the chance of a queue for tickets at Oakwell by November! Stick that up your…wherever Keane said McCarthy should stick his. I’m not impressed. Standard. Anyway, me and Nozzer sat where we liked, which meant the padded seats of the exec section of the East upper. Lovely.
The players? Every one of our starters had a good game. Ravenhill made a couple of super saves, and came out and caught, relieving pressure. (Nozzer says he was on loan to Macclesfield last season; I missed that. But I hope he continues the form he’s in.) Gale looks a great signing, and with Earl gone (apologies if youse missed that, he’s gone to Blackpool to no great disappointment) I think the Kay/Gale partnership has legs. We’ll see. Kelly looked back to his best, making the sort of runs we expect. Rumour has it he’ll be running all the way to Leicester, to rejoin assistant manager Hourihane, but I hope he’s better than to be joining a basket-case. Captain McGeehan and Bland held fort well, and both helped themselves to efforts at goal. Noslin was a threat, and scored, while Alker shows good touch and movement. Did I say everyone played well? Kirk continues to worry everyone who sees him. One Londontyke who shall remain nameless (Hi Jonesy!) even compared him unfavourably to Watters. (Shudders.) Of the subs, special mention for Taylor, who showed a sublime touch in turning a defender, while later breaking free to force the keeper into a save. I’ve got high hopes.
And as I wrote this, the 3rd round draw has been made. Our Road To Wembley is going via Peterborough. Oh well. Winnable.
Drink du jour: Leffe in Bramahs.
Away: 366 (3,002). A good turn out from The Alex, who, of course, outsung us.
The Damage:
£8 petrol
£17* ent
= £25
*2 quid more on matchday, which I didn’t know. But at least I’m now the proud owner of one of them ‘souvenir match tickets’.
‘Are we playing 2 at the back tonight?’
I’ve got to admit, I really enjoyed that game last nite. Reward for turning out for an early round league cup tie that invariably ends with us losing to some lower league outfit while playing our Under 21s. Indeed, we still played our under 21s, but these days it’s our 1st team. The latter stages were a real treat as Stendel threw on player after player I’ve never heard of. (Luckily, I had Under 21 season ticket holder P. Norris to guide me.)
The other thing that struck me was how fluid our formation was. And by ‘fluid’ I mean ‘I haven’t a clue what it was at any given moment.’ Certainly it was a back 2, with whoever was meant to be playing either fullback about 20 yards ahead of Gale and Kay (the latter having been switched from fullback). And as players buzzed hither and thither (inc wingers switching wings, Kirk dropping deep into his own half from centre forward) it was a whirlwind. But the second half especially, we dominated possession and players found each other despite/because of the movement. I am loathe to get excited, but this level of understanding amongst the players bodes well.
There was also no Luca Connell, so that was a bonus. Come to think, I can’t remember any random chips over the defence to their keeper. Maybe this passing and moving thing will catch on? Some bloke called O’Keeffe was recalled, and he was everywhere, keeping moves going with quick passes, while constantly demanding the ball. A real leader’s performance amongst a bunch of kids, I thought. And he scored. I know, I can’t believe it either.
Still, it could have been so, so, different. It was fine, us going forward, looking all fancy, but let’s be blunt. When we attacked it was 7 v 7, but every time we gave the ball away, they were 2 v 2. Worse, they went ahead when Kay stepped forward to shoot, the ball ricocheted to them and with one pass they were 2 on ONE. The pass was easy, as was the finish. Not long after, they were 2 on 1 again, but the ref pulled Bland up for a foul (booked, as per). This ref will never get his promotion at this rate, but thanks anyway.
Then, just as I speculate that if we don’t score tonite, that’s 3 goalless games in 4, against sub-standard opposition...we score 2 in 2 minutes. Crewe turn providers, a careless pass intercepted by Cleary, who takes it past his man with his first touch, before burying it across the keeper. Maybe we WILL get that 3 million after all? Then O’Keeffe plays Kelly in with a beautiful reverse pass and his subsequent low cross falls to Noslin to sidefoot home. It’s easy this football malarkey.
There is still time for Kirk not to win a penalty (he was clipped when about to score*) before O’Keeffe makes it 3 goals in 9 minutes. We’d not scored 3 goals in our previous 3 games. The ball is half-cleared to Corey just inside the corner of the box and he controls it and sends it into the far top corner. Where’s he been hiding all this time? Hoddle-esque (and I don’t mean the God bothering bit). Wonderful finish and (I’ve read) his 1st ever goal for us. This bloke could actually be an asset, as long as we don’t give him any defensive responsibility.
*I know, I know. He’ll never score a goal as long as I’ve got a hole in my bottom, as they say. But even HE would’ve scored this one, 8 yards out, keeper rooted.
Second half was a procession. Crewe hardly saw the ball, as wave after wave of attacks led to us breaking the ‘modern English domestic record for a single club in the Opta era’ over our number of corners (20) while we also had 30 shots (for an xG of less than 2, cheers Farnham!) What does this say? Well, our corners from the left were taken short and usually ended with Cleary having to beat his man to get the cross in that we could’ve had from the off, while those from the right were floated in right-footed to be headed away. The shots? As soon as we got 25 yards from their goal, we had a punt. So, we’ve no faith in winning a header off a corner, and we’ve little faith in working an opportunity in the final third? Or were players seeing glory as we were 3-1 up and cruising?
Of course, this was where Stendel started chucking on subs. Taylor (the Aussie) on for Alker and Noah Town on for Kirk (67). Then on 80, Saunders (who?) on for O’Keeffe and Farrell on for McGeehan. What does that make our average age now? 14? Don’t worry tho, there’s still time for Noslin to be replaced by Dunne (who I’m told is son of Dunne. Richard Dunne.) That last 5 minutes, we are hanging on for dear life. We’d already been warned, Ravenhill making an excellent stop on the front post, and a close-range shot hitting the bar, but the damn bursts as a cross is headed home inbetween Gale and Kay, who both look at each other like it’s the other one’s fault. It probably is. (Funnily enough, we looked worse at fullback once we actually had 2 fullbacks, tho Nozzer reckons they were 17, so I shouldn’t be too harsh.) Then, in injury time, Ravenhill pulls off a worldy to prevent it going to pens, and Crewe blast a free kick into the stand with full-time looming. I am struck by the thought that it is August and I may already have seen our best match of the season.
Onwards and upwards!
*** O’Keeffe. I thought he was great, floating around, instigating moves, never losing it, demanding a pass. Looked like the experienced leader he should be, rather than the hapless defender he’s been. Great goal btw.
** Cleary. Scored and a constant pest. Hung back to wave us all farewell at the end. Or do we get one more game out of him?
* Kay. I already love this guy. Him and Ravenhill. Pacey, and reads the game, so even when Gale’s out of position he covers. And not afraid to bring the ball out and have a shot. (Word to the wise: someone – Bland? – needs to cover him when he goes forward.)
Official MOTM: Cleary
Londontykes’ MOTM: 1. Cleary 2. Kay 3. O’Keeffe
Despatches:
As ever, Nice Guy Chris got the half-time draw tickets in. The low crowd apparently increased his chances of winning. (Did you, Chris?) I also had my first chance at using the new, improved, box office. And by ‘improved’, I meant I got to stand outside in a queue instead of indoors. This’ll be grand when Oakwell’s blowing a gale come November. Still, people say I’m a miserable pessimist, but here I am, talking like there’s going to be the chance of a queue for tickets at Oakwell by November! Stick that up your…wherever Keane said McCarthy should stick his. I’m not impressed. Standard. Anyway, me and Nozzer sat where we liked, which meant the padded seats of the exec section of the East upper. Lovely.
The players? Every one of our starters had a good game. Ravenhill made a couple of super saves, and came out and caught, relieving pressure. (Nozzer says he was on loan to Macclesfield last season; I missed that. But I hope he continues the form he’s in.) Gale looks a great signing, and with Earl gone (apologies if youse missed that, he’s gone to Blackpool to no great disappointment) I think the Kay/Gale partnership has legs. We’ll see. Kelly looked back to his best, making the sort of runs we expect. Rumour has it he’ll be running all the way to Leicester, to rejoin assistant manager Hourihane, but I hope he’s better than to be joining a basket-case. Captain McGeehan and Bland held fort well, and both helped themselves to efforts at goal. Noslin was a threat, and scored, while Alker shows good touch and movement. Did I say everyone played well? Kirk continues to worry everyone who sees him. One Londontyke who shall remain nameless (Hi Jonesy!) even compared him unfavourably to Watters. (Shudders.) Of the subs, special mention for Taylor, who showed a sublime touch in turning a defender, while later breaking free to force the keeper into a save. I’ve got high hopes.
And as I wrote this, the 3rd round draw has been made. Our Road To Wembley is going via Peterborough. Oh well. Winnable.
Drink du jour: Leffe in Bramahs.
Away: 366 (3,002). A good turn out from The Alex, who, of course, outsung us.
The Damage:
£8 petrol
£17* ent
= £25
*2 quid more on matchday, which I didn’t know. But at least I’m now the proud owner of one of them ‘souvenir match tickets’.
Monday, 24 August 2026
Manchester City 2-1 AFC Bournemouth, Sunday 23rd August 2026
***having probs uploading pics
Manchester City 2-1 AFC Bournemouth, Premiership, Etihad Stadium, att. 60,645
While the cat’s away, the mouse can do whatever the hell he likes. And so it is, with my partner away on business (Brussels, since you wonder), I am free to fill my entire weekend up with football. And from the depths of Market Harborough yesterday, I am at the heights of the Premiership today, Man City to be precise. A pity my partner is away, actually, as she’d have definitely fancied this. (She doesn’t do non-league; or, indeed, any division below Norwich City.)
It’s the opening season of the Premiership/Premier League (I can’t be bothered to tell the difference) and I’m lucky in that a Bournemouth away game is the one Premiership ticket I can get hold of. Credit to them for letting me and others register for tickets. My account tells me I now have 2 points, including Everton away last season. The way I see it, it’s a two-way relationship; groundhoppers and other football fans get to see a top division game, while Bournemouth get to fill out their away end. (I was in the top tier and it wasn’t full, but the lower two tiers were.) Plus, as an away fan, tickets are capped at 30 quid. Bargain! (Ish.)
I arrive early in Manchester. My plan was to have a snout around the record shops 1st, but I’ve arrived still in a foul mood from nearly missing the train due to my coffee taking too long to make. Yeah, yeah, 1st world problems. So anyway, I’m not in the mood and after browsing the shelves of Piccadilly Records with no great enthusiasm, I head back to the Piccadilly Tap to have a wheat beer, the name of which escapes me, before my walk to the Etihad. And one great thing about the Etihad is that the walk is glorious, provided you go via the Ashton Canal. That’s easily 90% of the journey right there.
I’ve been before, but I’m not so familiar with where the away end is. Some signs would be nice, especially as loads of us cross the bridge from the direction of the canal. Turns out I go the wrong way to begin with, before asking a steward. Then I have to fight through dense crowds around ¾ of the stadium. Why’s it not quicker/allowed to go the shorter route?
I’ve been a bit paranoid whether they’ll let me in with a tote bag larger than the approved A4 size, so I carry my newspaper in my hand while putting said tote in my back pocket. You can never be too careful with these larger stadia, and Manchester in particular is more ‘careful’ than most after the Manchester Arena bombing in 2017.
Then it’s up the stairs to the 3rd (top) tier. I am pleased to find my seat is relatively low down in this stand, though the back half is empty anyway. Half an hour to kick-off is unheard of for me, so I’m pleased I have something to read. Mind, my ticket advises getting here ‘not less than an hour before kick-off.’ Eh!? Get there early and you can also treat yourselves to mindless interviews with assorted City alumni via their in-house comms team. Can’t they just play music? (Actually, when they do, it’s great, including Mancunian staples like 808 State and New Order.)
Something else I’m not used to, supporting a 3rd division side and also seeing lots of non-league…fireworks greeting the teams upon entrance. Is this EVERY Man City game? Every Premiership game? I don’t know. But me and the other children enjoyed it. The wait is over and I can finally see a game of football.
And, actually, it’s a very good game. City dominate possession, but it doesn’t quite run for them in front of goal and the Cherries score a fine breakaway goal on 26 minutes through Tavernier. And then that’s it for nearly an hour of play. The home side huff and puff but look like getting nowhere till Cherki (and Grealish) come on as subs. The former is instrumental in taking the game to Bournemouth but the equaliser comes via a deadball, Guehi heading in a corner after earlier heading wide when presented with an open goal. There’s still 6 minutes to go (plus injury time) and it’s now all City.
Inevitably, the winner comes. 90+1 and Cherki threads a cheeky ball through to Gvardiol (what’s HE doing in the box?) and he rolls it into the bottom corner. The City fans go wild and as I’m about half a dozen seats from them, I’m hoping they don’t start baiting ME. But what’s this? Offside! It is the Cherries’ fans turn to dish it out to the adjacent home fans. And then I get to enjoy the full Premiership experience as we wait for the Video Assistant Referee. How long did it take? 5 minutes? The result is in. City fans start celebrating before it’s even announced on the scoreboard. Maybe they know to look at the referee? Anyway, all that baiting comes back again. I stand my ground, impassive.
And that’s it. Bournemouth, having led for two-thirds of the game, are beaten. There is stunned silence in the away end, and as we join the City throng on the mass march down the road to Piccadilly, you can spot the Cherries, staggering along like zombies while various City fans apologise for their luck. On such games are champions made.
The Damage:
£30 ent
£3 admin
£14.40 train
= £47.40
Manchester City 2-1 AFC Bournemouth, Premiership, Etihad Stadium, att. 60,645
While the cat’s away, the mouse can do whatever the hell he likes. And so it is, with my partner away on business (Brussels, since you wonder), I am free to fill my entire weekend up with football. And from the depths of Market Harborough yesterday, I am at the heights of the Premiership today, Man City to be precise. A pity my partner is away, actually, as she’d have definitely fancied this. (She doesn’t do non-league; or, indeed, any division below Norwich City.)
It’s the opening season of the Premiership/Premier League (I can’t be bothered to tell the difference) and I’m lucky in that a Bournemouth away game is the one Premiership ticket I can get hold of. Credit to them for letting me and others register for tickets. My account tells me I now have 2 points, including Everton away last season. The way I see it, it’s a two-way relationship; groundhoppers and other football fans get to see a top division game, while Bournemouth get to fill out their away end. (I was in the top tier and it wasn’t full, but the lower two tiers were.) Plus, as an away fan, tickets are capped at 30 quid. Bargain! (Ish.)
I arrive early in Manchester. My plan was to have a snout around the record shops 1st, but I’ve arrived still in a foul mood from nearly missing the train due to my coffee taking too long to make. Yeah, yeah, 1st world problems. So anyway, I’m not in the mood and after browsing the shelves of Piccadilly Records with no great enthusiasm, I head back to the Piccadilly Tap to have a wheat beer, the name of which escapes me, before my walk to the Etihad. And one great thing about the Etihad is that the walk is glorious, provided you go via the Ashton Canal. That’s easily 90% of the journey right there.
I’ve been before, but I’m not so familiar with where the away end is. Some signs would be nice, especially as loads of us cross the bridge from the direction of the canal. Turns out I go the wrong way to begin with, before asking a steward. Then I have to fight through dense crowds around ¾ of the stadium. Why’s it not quicker/allowed to go the shorter route?
I’ve been a bit paranoid whether they’ll let me in with a tote bag larger than the approved A4 size, so I carry my newspaper in my hand while putting said tote in my back pocket. You can never be too careful with these larger stadia, and Manchester in particular is more ‘careful’ than most after the Manchester Arena bombing in 2017.
Then it’s up the stairs to the 3rd (top) tier. I am pleased to find my seat is relatively low down in this stand, though the back half is empty anyway. Half an hour to kick-off is unheard of for me, so I’m pleased I have something to read. Mind, my ticket advises getting here ‘not less than an hour before kick-off.’ Eh!? Get there early and you can also treat yourselves to mindless interviews with assorted City alumni via their in-house comms team. Can’t they just play music? (Actually, when they do, it’s great, including Mancunian staples like 808 State and New Order.)
Something else I’m not used to, supporting a 3rd division side and also seeing lots of non-league…fireworks greeting the teams upon entrance. Is this EVERY Man City game? Every Premiership game? I don’t know. But me and the other children enjoyed it. The wait is over and I can finally see a game of football.
And, actually, it’s a very good game. City dominate possession, but it doesn’t quite run for them in front of goal and the Cherries score a fine breakaway goal on 26 minutes through Tavernier. And then that’s it for nearly an hour of play. The home side huff and puff but look like getting nowhere till Cherki (and Grealish) come on as subs. The former is instrumental in taking the game to Bournemouth but the equaliser comes via a deadball, Guehi heading in a corner after earlier heading wide when presented with an open goal. There’s still 6 minutes to go (plus injury time) and it’s now all City.
Inevitably, the winner comes. 90+1 and Cherki threads a cheeky ball through to Gvardiol (what’s HE doing in the box?) and he rolls it into the bottom corner. The City fans go wild and as I’m about half a dozen seats from them, I’m hoping they don’t start baiting ME. But what’s this? Offside! It is the Cherries’ fans turn to dish it out to the adjacent home fans. And then I get to enjoy the full Premiership experience as we wait for the Video Assistant Referee. How long did it take? 5 minutes? The result is in. City fans start celebrating before it’s even announced on the scoreboard. Maybe they know to look at the referee? Anyway, all that baiting comes back again. I stand my ground, impassive.
And that’s it. Bournemouth, having led for two-thirds of the game, are beaten. There is stunned silence in the away end, and as we join the City throng on the mass march down the road to Piccadilly, you can spot the Cherries, staggering along like zombies while various City fans apologise for their luck. On such games are champions made.
The Damage:
£30 ent
£3 admin
£14.40 train
= £47.40
Sunday, 23 August 2026
Harborough Town 4-2 Darlington, Saturday 22nd August 2026
*** probs uploading photos
Harborough Town 4-2 Darlington, National League North, Bowden Park, att. 856
I looked at the fixtures and made my decision fairly early on this one. There’s just something about going to Doncaster Rovers that simply doesn’t appeal. The Subbuteo stadium? The retail park it’s on? The half hour walk from town? Even it’s name. ‘Club Doncaster Sports Village’, anyone? The 20 quid they owe me from years previous? Add on a half 12 kick-off and I don’t care it’s a derby. My other half potentially needs a lift to the airport too. (She didn’t; she caught a train.) But I’m using it as an excuse not to attend Doncaster Rovers versus Barnsley. And what’s this? A look at my 2nd team Darlo’s fixtures brings up Harborough Town away. I message Kev. We’re on.
It’s an uneventful journey to Market Harborough, Leicestershire. We even pass the ground on our left as we enter, so we park up in a residential street between here and the town centre. Our homework has been done, we’re off to ‘Beerhaus’ where I enjoy a Weihenstephaner on a picnic bench outside, along with a few other Darlo fans who’ve made the same pilgrimage. This place is great. Market Harborough looks pleasant too, as we walk through the town centre back.
This is the first ever game between the two, as Harborough gained promotion last season…from the Southern League. Eh? Such are the vagaries of geographical borders in non-league that a side can gain promotion from the Southern League and end up in National League...North. And they’re not even the furthest southern team in this division this season. There’s Hereford, Merthyr, Brackley, Bedford and Oxford City. That’s quite a spread up to South Shields in the north-east.
Harborough Town were only formed in 1975 and even up to 20 years ago were only at county league level, so it’s some upward curve. We arrive at the clubhouse end and are guided down the left of the building. I’m willing to bet Harborough rarely segregate, but they do today. Once in, at one corner, we are moved on past a small covered terrace, down the side of the pitch, to the other end. Darlo are given the other end of the longside, as well as flat standing behind the goal. Once the game kicks off, Darlo fans were fenced in and home fans given access to that 1st stand.
On the far side are two modern cantilever stands bedecked in bright yellow seats. The smaller of the stands is where the local youth make their noise from and by the game’s end, they’re in high spirits. My own spirit is lifted by the addition of a portable beer stall behind our goal. It’s a poor choice, but it’s hot. My day is made when Kev mistakes our Estrella for ‘something by Brewdog?’ I think his previous pint is playing havoc with his taste buds. I also partake in ‘the facilities’, one of two portaloos in the corner. It’s just enough for the size of support.
The game is a disaster for Darlo. A 4-2 loss in a game they’d expect to win, the loss not really made up by the goal of the game, Paddy McLaughlin cutting inside and curling one off the far post from distance. Deliciously, from our viewpoint at the far end, the ball rolls in off the post and we don’t realise it’s gone in till it rests in the net. 2-1 up, after being behind, what can go wrong? Well, conceding a 57th minute goal to a bloke who once cost £15 million and is still in his early 30s (Britt Assombalonga) didn’t help, but Town seal it with goals in the 90th and 95th minutes. It’s a long way home to Darlo. But take solace. It’s not as far as Oxford. Or Merthyr, etc.
The Damage:
£18 ent
£3 programme
£12 2 pints of Estrella
= £33
Harborough Town 4-2 Darlington, National League North, Bowden Park, att. 856
I looked at the fixtures and made my decision fairly early on this one. There’s just something about going to Doncaster Rovers that simply doesn’t appeal. The Subbuteo stadium? The retail park it’s on? The half hour walk from town? Even it’s name. ‘Club Doncaster Sports Village’, anyone? The 20 quid they owe me from years previous? Add on a half 12 kick-off and I don’t care it’s a derby. My other half potentially needs a lift to the airport too. (She didn’t; she caught a train.) But I’m using it as an excuse not to attend Doncaster Rovers versus Barnsley. And what’s this? A look at my 2nd team Darlo’s fixtures brings up Harborough Town away. I message Kev. We’re on.
It’s an uneventful journey to Market Harborough, Leicestershire. We even pass the ground on our left as we enter, so we park up in a residential street between here and the town centre. Our homework has been done, we’re off to ‘Beerhaus’ where I enjoy a Weihenstephaner on a picnic bench outside, along with a few other Darlo fans who’ve made the same pilgrimage. This place is great. Market Harborough looks pleasant too, as we walk through the town centre back.
This is the first ever game between the two, as Harborough gained promotion last season…from the Southern League. Eh? Such are the vagaries of geographical borders in non-league that a side can gain promotion from the Southern League and end up in National League...North. And they’re not even the furthest southern team in this division this season. There’s Hereford, Merthyr, Brackley, Bedford and Oxford City. That’s quite a spread up to South Shields in the north-east.
Harborough Town were only formed in 1975 and even up to 20 years ago were only at county league level, so it’s some upward curve. We arrive at the clubhouse end and are guided down the left of the building. I’m willing to bet Harborough rarely segregate, but they do today. Once in, at one corner, we are moved on past a small covered terrace, down the side of the pitch, to the other end. Darlo are given the other end of the longside, as well as flat standing behind the goal. Once the game kicks off, Darlo fans were fenced in and home fans given access to that 1st stand.
On the far side are two modern cantilever stands bedecked in bright yellow seats. The smaller of the stands is where the local youth make their noise from and by the game’s end, they’re in high spirits. My own spirit is lifted by the addition of a portable beer stall behind our goal. It’s a poor choice, but it’s hot. My day is made when Kev mistakes our Estrella for ‘something by Brewdog?’ I think his previous pint is playing havoc with his taste buds. I also partake in ‘the facilities’, one of two portaloos in the corner. It’s just enough for the size of support.
The game is a disaster for Darlo. A 4-2 loss in a game they’d expect to win, the loss not really made up by the goal of the game, Paddy McLaughlin cutting inside and curling one off the far post from distance. Deliciously, from our viewpoint at the far end, the ball rolls in off the post and we don’t realise it’s gone in till it rests in the net. 2-1 up, after being behind, what can go wrong? Well, conceding a 57th minute goal to a bloke who once cost £15 million and is still in his early 30s (Britt Assombalonga) didn’t help, but Town seal it with goals in the 90th and 95th minutes. It’s a long way home to Darlo. But take solace. It’s not as far as Oxford. Or Merthyr, etc.
The Damage:
£18 ent
£3 programme
£12 2 pints of Estrella
= £33
Sunday, 16 August 2026
BFC 0-1 Bromley, Saturday 15th August 2026
*** probs uploading pics
‘WELCOME HOME DANIEL’
It’s always good to see history unfold before your very eyes. It wasn’t good enough to BFC that we were being treated to the first ever clash between Barnsley FC and Bromley. No, we had to go and lose to a side who were non-league 3 years ago. And the eleven thousand one hundred and sixty-three who were there? Take a bow. You were part of the biggest crowd to ever see Bromley win a Football League match. YOU are a part of history!
My God. (How many times will I blaspheme this season? That could be a record too.) We’ve lost to a side despite us having 2/3 possession, outshooting them 22-12 (on target 8-3) and we still fail to score. That’s what not having a centre forward does to a side. Indeed, we quite literally didn’t have a centre forward 1st half, as Stendel benched Kirk (tell me he’s on loan?) before sticking him on in desperation and seeing him slice a simple 6 foot finish on the rebound. Unlucky? I don’t think we were unlucky. For all the saves their keeper made, we created one great chance, aside from Kirk’s effort.
Opening half, Bland plays in their striker for a simple finish…only Ravenhill spreads himself well and blocks. Bland’s fault? The keeper’s? Probably both, a miscommunication, though Bland could have at least blocked the striker’s run. (I’ve since seen it on youtube and I totally blame Bland.) Then, second half, Ravenhill makes a couple of blocks on his front post as the ball bobbles around before he pounces on it.
In reply, we have a number of half chances, but the ball either never falls properly, or results in a McGeehan scuff. The amount of times the ball needed an extra touch, allowing defenders to block…and when we do create a chance (Connell playing a lovely throughball to Cleary), the latter fails to dink it over a keeper who’s sat on the floor.
Reyes Cleary. No-one did more than him on Satdy to ensure we’ll still have him at the end of the transfer window. I lost count of the number of times he lost it. He must have been given the opportunity, one-on-one, to beat his man and DO something, 20 times – and failed. There’ll be other games where he’ll be lucky to have half a dozen such opportunities, nevermind the 2 or 3 efforts he bent into the stand. 5 million? Be lucky to get 50 grand. (Plans to invest said transfer cash should be put on hold.)
Then Adeboyejo came on as sub. I can’t have been the only one who said ‘I bet he gets the winner.’ He gets the winner. Our hapless defence (no change there then) fails to deal with a long ball, fails to deal with the 2nd ball, fails to deal with the 3rd ball, and a shot so wide it becomes a cross is deflected in on the scuff by Big Vic. One of the worst goals we have conceded in a year of conceding worst goals.
It’s ok though, on comes the cavalry. How many times do we see this? Managers make changes AFTER they’ve conceded. The key is to make changes BEFORE you concede! Richards comes on for Bland (who’d also been booked for going through one of theirs from behind). He goes on the wing, while the Curacaon is pulled back. Kirk is on for Alker (anonymous in the 2nd half) while later, my favouritely-named Reds player Noah Town comes on for Luca. We never look like scoring. That Richards bloke looks like he’d blow over in the wind.
And then we spend the last 20 minutes watching Bromley go down ‘injured’ at every opportunity (though none of which lead to a Bromley player going off for a minute, waiting to come back on). Maybe it’s different rules at Oakwell? 9 minutes injury time just means we’re 9 minutes later in going home. We have been beaten by Bromley. Bromley. FFS. (Well done Bromley.) We couldn’t beat a side whose star centre half got taken off injured and in whose line-up included a certain Will Hondermarck. My God.
Welcome home Daniel.
Onwards and upwards!
*** Kay. 2 shots, one header, hit the bar. Not bad for a fullback. GET HIM UP TOP!
** Alker. Floated around in the Bermuda Triangle of their defence before actually disappearing.
* The Curacaon. Looked promising.
Official MOTM: McGeehan
Londontykes’ MOTM: 1. Kay 2. Noslin 3. Alker
Despatches:
It was a pity we went on to lose, as there was a really positive atmosphere 1st half. It was also vaguely busy, credit to BFC for making it £17 in. But we’ll have to win a few games if we’re to avoid regularly 4 figure crowds come October.
Spiral was busy too, helped by Jonesy bringing half the away end (3) with him from the train. I trust his daughter’s boyfriend (who’s a Chelsea fan actually) enjoyed his day with his adopted team.
The players? Well, being positive, there were some good moves. We often made little passes that ended with a throughball down the wing for the wide player to…kick it to them. But this was on the players making the runs as much as the provider. You can’t run behind a defender and expect him to miss the ball. So, yes, lots of possession in promising areas, but zero chances created from them.
And where will we finish? I don’t want to go mad and say we’re doomed. (Altho…) But I have twenty quid on with A. Jones that we finish bottom half. I think I’m winning that bet! (Winning, as in ‘in the lead’; I think we’ve a chance of finishing top half. It IS division 3, after all.)
Drink du jour: Beartown Inception in Spiral.
Away: 360 (11,163).
The Damage:
£18.22 (£419 season ticket divided by 23 home games)
£8 petrol
£20 ent (sort of)
= £46.22
‘WELCOME HOME DANIEL’
It’s always good to see history unfold before your very eyes. It wasn’t good enough to BFC that we were being treated to the first ever clash between Barnsley FC and Bromley. No, we had to go and lose to a side who were non-league 3 years ago. And the eleven thousand one hundred and sixty-three who were there? Take a bow. You were part of the biggest crowd to ever see Bromley win a Football League match. YOU are a part of history!
My God. (How many times will I blaspheme this season? That could be a record too.) We’ve lost to a side despite us having 2/3 possession, outshooting them 22-12 (on target 8-3) and we still fail to score. That’s what not having a centre forward does to a side. Indeed, we quite literally didn’t have a centre forward 1st half, as Stendel benched Kirk (tell me he’s on loan?) before sticking him on in desperation and seeing him slice a simple 6 foot finish on the rebound. Unlucky? I don’t think we were unlucky. For all the saves their keeper made, we created one great chance, aside from Kirk’s effort.
Opening half, Bland plays in their striker for a simple finish…only Ravenhill spreads himself well and blocks. Bland’s fault? The keeper’s? Probably both, a miscommunication, though Bland could have at least blocked the striker’s run. (I’ve since seen it on youtube and I totally blame Bland.) Then, second half, Ravenhill makes a couple of blocks on his front post as the ball bobbles around before he pounces on it.
In reply, we have a number of half chances, but the ball either never falls properly, or results in a McGeehan scuff. The amount of times the ball needed an extra touch, allowing defenders to block…and when we do create a chance (Connell playing a lovely throughball to Cleary), the latter fails to dink it over a keeper who’s sat on the floor.
Reyes Cleary. No-one did more than him on Satdy to ensure we’ll still have him at the end of the transfer window. I lost count of the number of times he lost it. He must have been given the opportunity, one-on-one, to beat his man and DO something, 20 times – and failed. There’ll be other games where he’ll be lucky to have half a dozen such opportunities, nevermind the 2 or 3 efforts he bent into the stand. 5 million? Be lucky to get 50 grand. (Plans to invest said transfer cash should be put on hold.)
Then Adeboyejo came on as sub. I can’t have been the only one who said ‘I bet he gets the winner.’ He gets the winner. Our hapless defence (no change there then) fails to deal with a long ball, fails to deal with the 2nd ball, fails to deal with the 3rd ball, and a shot so wide it becomes a cross is deflected in on the scuff by Big Vic. One of the worst goals we have conceded in a year of conceding worst goals.
It’s ok though, on comes the cavalry. How many times do we see this? Managers make changes AFTER they’ve conceded. The key is to make changes BEFORE you concede! Richards comes on for Bland (who’d also been booked for going through one of theirs from behind). He goes on the wing, while the Curacaon is pulled back. Kirk is on for Alker (anonymous in the 2nd half) while later, my favouritely-named Reds player Noah Town comes on for Luca. We never look like scoring. That Richards bloke looks like he’d blow over in the wind.
And then we spend the last 20 minutes watching Bromley go down ‘injured’ at every opportunity (though none of which lead to a Bromley player going off for a minute, waiting to come back on). Maybe it’s different rules at Oakwell? 9 minutes injury time just means we’re 9 minutes later in going home. We have been beaten by Bromley. Bromley. FFS. (Well done Bromley.) We couldn’t beat a side whose star centre half got taken off injured and in whose line-up included a certain Will Hondermarck. My God.
Welcome home Daniel.
Onwards and upwards!
*** Kay. 2 shots, one header, hit the bar. Not bad for a fullback. GET HIM UP TOP!
** Alker. Floated around in the Bermuda Triangle of their defence before actually disappearing.
* The Curacaon. Looked promising.
Official MOTM: McGeehan
Londontykes’ MOTM: 1. Kay 2. Noslin 3. Alker
Despatches:
It was a pity we went on to lose, as there was a really positive atmosphere 1st half. It was also vaguely busy, credit to BFC for making it £17 in. But we’ll have to win a few games if we’re to avoid regularly 4 figure crowds come October.
Spiral was busy too, helped by Jonesy bringing half the away end (3) with him from the train. I trust his daughter’s boyfriend (who’s a Chelsea fan actually) enjoyed his day with his adopted team.
The players? Well, being positive, there were some good moves. We often made little passes that ended with a throughball down the wing for the wide player to…kick it to them. But this was on the players making the runs as much as the provider. You can’t run behind a defender and expect him to miss the ball. So, yes, lots of possession in promising areas, but zero chances created from them.
And where will we finish? I don’t want to go mad and say we’re doomed. (Altho…) But I have twenty quid on with A. Jones that we finish bottom half. I think I’m winning that bet! (Winning, as in ‘in the lead’; I think we’ve a chance of finishing top half. It IS division 3, after all.)
Drink du jour: Beartown Inception in Spiral.
Away: 360 (11,163).
The Damage:
£18.22 (£419 season ticket divided by 23 home games)
£8 petrol
£20 ent (sort of)
= £46.22
Sunday, 9 August 2026
BFC 1-1 (4-3 pens) Wigan Athletic, Saturday 8th August 2026
***problem uploading pics
‘You know they’re gonna take the lead through a keeper cock-up.’
In the end, I couldn’t resist. I succumbed to temptation. I gave in. I had no self-control. Yes, the lure of finding out how useless our latest loan keeper* was just proved too much. I simply had to see the Carabao (League) Cup 1st round tie, Barnsley versus Wigan Athletic. I mean, it’s not as if I’ve even missed football (Barnsley). We’ve had a World Cup. We watched England capitulate in a way I’ve not even seen the Super Reds. And watching a couple of games in Scotland and a bunch of non-league games in the last few weeks seemed infinitely more pleasurable than watching our lot. But, like the mythic sirens (yes, I’ve seen The Odyssey too), I find Oakwell drawing me in and my willpower failing me again.
*he was injured.
Yes, not the most glam of ties. Indeed, when the draw was made I was rather hoping for a northern away game. At least that would be interesting. But no. A repeat of at least 23 other games this season, though with half a crowd and only one home stand open. Still, at least it gave the Ponty End an excuse for their silence. I listened to the side being read out. Can I remember all these names? I’d remember the keeper. Ravenhill. 20 year old, home grown, making his debut between the sticks. How proud he must have been, as, following the obligatory fist bumps with the opposition, he turns to run towards the Ponty End to be met with a hero’s wel...to be met with four and a half thousand empty seats. I bet he dreamed of this moment.
Stendal plumped for a back 4. Kay’s son Kay (I wish Antony had called his son Kay) was right back, some other young pup called Alker at left, new signing (and Great White Hope) Gale partnering the lumbering Josh Earl in the centre. Grounds for optimism? Well, Shepherd, O’Keeffe and Bland were all on the bench. I’m liking this new manager already!
Connell and new captain McGeehan (I’m liking this new man…etc) anchored the midfield, with Kelly further forward behind new centre forward Kirk. Is the new guy captaincy material, I wonder? (No.) Out wide, we still have Cleary for another few weeks and some other bloke who’s name I will look up now. Richards. If I told you his pass completion rate was 28.6%, would that temper your expectations?
We were awful that 1st half. Wigan coulda...shoulda...been out of sight. The keeper made 2 one-on-one saves. They hit the post when Earl put them clean through. The keeper made some more saves. But the most extraordinary miss came when a ball was squared for the tap-in…only their player completely swung and missed the ball. Your grandma (deceased) would’ve put this one away. More saves. Why’ve we brought in a loanee? The 2 wise monkeys (Nozzer, Ozzie and I) muse that this can’t last. Wigan are bound to take the lead through a keeper cock-up, and so it proves.
Does Ravenhill misjudge the flight of the punt forward? Does he deliberately leave it, thinking it’s going out for a goalkick? I thought the latter, but it’s plainly not going out cos a Latic is there on the backpost to divert it back across goal for an open net even this bloke can score. Oh well, nothing less than Wigan deserve and we’ve held out till 5 mins before half-time, or about half an hour longer than it looked like we would. Still, the fullbacks have easily been beaten and there’s no midfield to speak of. But at least I can’t fault the centre forward for not holding the ball up...he’s never had it. Our only attacking ploy was for either Ravenhill (goalkeeper) or Connell (useless) to knock it over the top of the defence for no-one to chase. We are all over the place.
The interval has not come soon enough, and Daniel pulls off a masterstroke. He drags off the centre forward (apparently ill, not merely rubbish) and sends on Bland. (I will henceforth no longer refer to him as The GOAT, since nobody bangs on to me anymore about what a fine player he is, the future of our midfield, etc etc). Anyway, Bland on at right back, the right back (Kay) to left back, the left back (Alker) to midfield (where Nozzer says he plays for the Under 21s) and Cleary further down the pitch, where he can do damage. And it WORKS.
It is now mostly us on the front foot, Cleary especially being a threat. But inbetween the half chances, we still show we can create for the opposition, as Gale slips in their centre forward, clean through. Thankfully, the shot is weak, and straight at Ravenhill, but credit to Gale whose chase back puts pressure on the defender. Not that he looked pacy, but neither did he look like Jack Shepherd. My hopes are highish.
It’s a beautiful day, btw, perfect for leaning back in one’s seat and not being that bothered whether we win or lose...but still, it’d be nice to get Bolton or someone in the next round. But something’s bubbling. We’re still going forward and with every Reds attack, the crowd is slowly being roused and at one point a round of ‘Come on you Reds’ eked out from the East Stand. Cleary was beating his man, balls were being put into the box...but, alas, never to a red shirt. But then, with 10 left, FINALLY, a breakthrough. Cleary skins the fullback, drives towards the box and crosses low for The Captain to sidefoot home. He can’t miss, it’s on a plate. But still, you have to make the run. Even more so when you’re playing without a centre forward (as we have been for about 3 years now). I’ve decided I’m actually invested in us winning now. It’s amazing what a goal does.
But then comes the coup de grace. We’re a minute off penalties when Wigan are slipped in on the break (credit where it’s due, they set this one up themselves) and it’s the winner. Game over. But what’s this? The lovely little linesman on this side is flagging for offside. Good man! (Goodman. Christ, I’ve just remembered him. Another absolutely sh*te loan goalkeeper. My PTSD has been triggered once again.) Oh, and later photos show we might have played him on. Hopefully this is the start of more decisions going our way.
Wigan look deflated. How’ve they thrown this away? But as we’re headed to penalties we all decide this is a much better idea than another 30 minutes. Our tails are up, Ravenhill’s played a blinder (despite...), the sun is shining...surely this is the debutant’s day? And given Wigan’s finishing, will their penalties even land in our stadium?
Spot kick after spot kick is dispatched, every single one in the corner save for the one daredevil who went straight down the middle. Five-all. Neither keeper has had a chance, tho Ravenhill has got himself booked. My sources say he chucked their keeper’s water bottle (with our penalty takers’ names on it) into the Ponty.
Into sudden death, and Wigan blast a ball against Ravenhill. The crowd go quite excited. And so. Here we are. Cometh the hour. Cometh the Josh Earl. IT’S THERE! Josh Earl. Everyone mobs Ravenhill. Who cares Josh gets the winner? Indeed. Who cares. The sirens called. I couldn’t say no.
Onwards and upwards!
*** Ravenhill. Even Stendal admitted he kept us in the game.
** Cleary. If the 1st half was Ravenhill’s, the 2nd was Cleary’s. Had the fullback on toast.
* Gale. Impressed in parts (and had to).
Official MOTM: Kay. Astounding. (The decision, not the performance.)
Londontykes’ MOTM: 1. Ravenhill 2. Cleary 3= McGeehan/Gale
Despatches:
Nice touch in the celebrations, as the whole team appeared to stand back to let Ravenhill take the acclaim. And why not? How many other players can be seen waving to their own family in the East Stand. He looks chuffed to bits. I was every bit impressed with him too, far more than Flavell, or that other keeper we chucked 200k at. (is he still there?) But Stendal’s after match comments seemed surprised by how well he’d played. So that doesn’t bode well and forced me not to get ahead of myself.
The other players? Bland was certainly an improvement at right back on Kay, though he nearly blemished his copybook by taking a leaf out of Ravenhill’s book and letting the ball go out of play, only for their player to keep it in. Thankfully, another defender covered. I thought Kay was poor, as was Alker. Still, they’re not O’Keeffe, or Gent, so small mercies. Earl was his usual centre half self. Solid (when not giving the ball away) and slow. Though I admired one attacking header from a corner, where he didn’t even jump, simply used his strength to outmuscle the defender. Will he keep MdG out of the team? And where’s our World Cup hero? The Curacaon? The Curacian? (What do they call people from Curacao?) Isn’t he a defender? Where’s he today?
Stendal complimented Connell for a good second half, which I think is German for ‘he was bloody useless 1st half.’ You know how the transfer window is too long for Cleary? It’s not long enough for Connell. I wonder what month Luca will have me pining for Herbie Kane at centre mid? Trying to be positive, maybe losing the captaincy will free up some hitherto invisible part of his game? Kelly and McGeehan were quiet too, though they made the right runs. Maybe, with practice, the ball will land at their feet. And as I said, the right winger (I’ve forgotten his name again) and the centre forward (Kirk) needn’t have bothered turning out.
I’ve never seen us win a game (ok, draw a game) with so many players having performed so poorly.
As a league cup treat, Nozzer and I spent pre-match with the Galvins...and even only half of them turned up. Blimey. It also meant arriving at Oakwell early enough to chat rubbish with familiar faces, check out the new replica shirts (actually available, for once, on the opening day) while I could admire the ‘new’ ticket office facilities, which, as far as I can see, means fans standing out in the cold peering through tiny slits to ask our overlords if please may we purchase a ticket for that fine fare inside? Seriously, it won’t always be 20 odd degrees Celsius. Us fans now have to stand in the open (with a small cover tacked on to the back of the Ponty) to buy a ticket. Shoddy. But what would I moan about if I didn’t have something to moan about? Oh. Exactly that. Still. It’s a bit crap, Barnsley FC.
Drink du jour: Leffe in Bramahs.
Away: 522 (4,414). Was it 5-1 or 6-1 to Wigan on chants?
The Damage:
£15 ent
£8 petrol
£3 prog
= £26
‘You know they’re gonna take the lead through a keeper cock-up.’
In the end, I couldn’t resist. I succumbed to temptation. I gave in. I had no self-control. Yes, the lure of finding out how useless our latest loan keeper* was just proved too much. I simply had to see the Carabao (League) Cup 1st round tie, Barnsley versus Wigan Athletic. I mean, it’s not as if I’ve even missed football (Barnsley). We’ve had a World Cup. We watched England capitulate in a way I’ve not even seen the Super Reds. And watching a couple of games in Scotland and a bunch of non-league games in the last few weeks seemed infinitely more pleasurable than watching our lot. But, like the mythic sirens (yes, I’ve seen The Odyssey too), I find Oakwell drawing me in and my willpower failing me again.
*he was injured.
Yes, not the most glam of ties. Indeed, when the draw was made I was rather hoping for a northern away game. At least that would be interesting. But no. A repeat of at least 23 other games this season, though with half a crowd and only one home stand open. Still, at least it gave the Ponty End an excuse for their silence. I listened to the side being read out. Can I remember all these names? I’d remember the keeper. Ravenhill. 20 year old, home grown, making his debut between the sticks. How proud he must have been, as, following the obligatory fist bumps with the opposition, he turns to run towards the Ponty End to be met with a hero’s wel...to be met with four and a half thousand empty seats. I bet he dreamed of this moment.
Stendal plumped for a back 4. Kay’s son Kay (I wish Antony had called his son Kay) was right back, some other young pup called Alker at left, new signing (and Great White Hope) Gale partnering the lumbering Josh Earl in the centre. Grounds for optimism? Well, Shepherd, O’Keeffe and Bland were all on the bench. I’m liking this new manager already!
Connell and new captain McGeehan (I’m liking this new man…etc) anchored the midfield, with Kelly further forward behind new centre forward Kirk. Is the new guy captaincy material, I wonder? (No.) Out wide, we still have Cleary for another few weeks and some other bloke who’s name I will look up now. Richards. If I told you his pass completion rate was 28.6%, would that temper your expectations?
We were awful that 1st half. Wigan coulda...shoulda...been out of sight. The keeper made 2 one-on-one saves. They hit the post when Earl put them clean through. The keeper made some more saves. But the most extraordinary miss came when a ball was squared for the tap-in…only their player completely swung and missed the ball. Your grandma (deceased) would’ve put this one away. More saves. Why’ve we brought in a loanee? The 2 wise monkeys (Nozzer, Ozzie and I) muse that this can’t last. Wigan are bound to take the lead through a keeper cock-up, and so it proves.
Does Ravenhill misjudge the flight of the punt forward? Does he deliberately leave it, thinking it’s going out for a goalkick? I thought the latter, but it’s plainly not going out cos a Latic is there on the backpost to divert it back across goal for an open net even this bloke can score. Oh well, nothing less than Wigan deserve and we’ve held out till 5 mins before half-time, or about half an hour longer than it looked like we would. Still, the fullbacks have easily been beaten and there’s no midfield to speak of. But at least I can’t fault the centre forward for not holding the ball up...he’s never had it. Our only attacking ploy was for either Ravenhill (goalkeeper) or Connell (useless) to knock it over the top of the defence for no-one to chase. We are all over the place.
The interval has not come soon enough, and Daniel pulls off a masterstroke. He drags off the centre forward (apparently ill, not merely rubbish) and sends on Bland. (I will henceforth no longer refer to him as The GOAT, since nobody bangs on to me anymore about what a fine player he is, the future of our midfield, etc etc). Anyway, Bland on at right back, the right back (Kay) to left back, the left back (Alker) to midfield (where Nozzer says he plays for the Under 21s) and Cleary further down the pitch, where he can do damage. And it WORKS.
It is now mostly us on the front foot, Cleary especially being a threat. But inbetween the half chances, we still show we can create for the opposition, as Gale slips in their centre forward, clean through. Thankfully, the shot is weak, and straight at Ravenhill, but credit to Gale whose chase back puts pressure on the defender. Not that he looked pacy, but neither did he look like Jack Shepherd. My hopes are highish.
It’s a beautiful day, btw, perfect for leaning back in one’s seat and not being that bothered whether we win or lose...but still, it’d be nice to get Bolton or someone in the next round. But something’s bubbling. We’re still going forward and with every Reds attack, the crowd is slowly being roused and at one point a round of ‘Come on you Reds’ eked out from the East Stand. Cleary was beating his man, balls were being put into the box...but, alas, never to a red shirt. But then, with 10 left, FINALLY, a breakthrough. Cleary skins the fullback, drives towards the box and crosses low for The Captain to sidefoot home. He can’t miss, it’s on a plate. But still, you have to make the run. Even more so when you’re playing without a centre forward (as we have been for about 3 years now). I’ve decided I’m actually invested in us winning now. It’s amazing what a goal does.
But then comes the coup de grace. We’re a minute off penalties when Wigan are slipped in on the break (credit where it’s due, they set this one up themselves) and it’s the winner. Game over. But what’s this? The lovely little linesman on this side is flagging for offside. Good man! (Goodman. Christ, I’ve just remembered him. Another absolutely sh*te loan goalkeeper. My PTSD has been triggered once again.) Oh, and later photos show we might have played him on. Hopefully this is the start of more decisions going our way.
Wigan look deflated. How’ve they thrown this away? But as we’re headed to penalties we all decide this is a much better idea than another 30 minutes. Our tails are up, Ravenhill’s played a blinder (despite...), the sun is shining...surely this is the debutant’s day? And given Wigan’s finishing, will their penalties even land in our stadium?
Spot kick after spot kick is dispatched, every single one in the corner save for the one daredevil who went straight down the middle. Five-all. Neither keeper has had a chance, tho Ravenhill has got himself booked. My sources say he chucked their keeper’s water bottle (with our penalty takers’ names on it) into the Ponty.
Into sudden death, and Wigan blast a ball against Ravenhill. The crowd go quite excited. And so. Here we are. Cometh the hour. Cometh the Josh Earl. IT’S THERE! Josh Earl. Everyone mobs Ravenhill. Who cares Josh gets the winner? Indeed. Who cares. The sirens called. I couldn’t say no.
Onwards and upwards!
*** Ravenhill. Even Stendal admitted he kept us in the game.
** Cleary. If the 1st half was Ravenhill’s, the 2nd was Cleary’s. Had the fullback on toast.
* Gale. Impressed in parts (and had to).
Official MOTM: Kay. Astounding. (The decision, not the performance.)
Londontykes’ MOTM: 1. Ravenhill 2. Cleary 3= McGeehan/Gale
Despatches:
Nice touch in the celebrations, as the whole team appeared to stand back to let Ravenhill take the acclaim. And why not? How many other players can be seen waving to their own family in the East Stand. He looks chuffed to bits. I was every bit impressed with him too, far more than Flavell, or that other keeper we chucked 200k at. (is he still there?) But Stendal’s after match comments seemed surprised by how well he’d played. So that doesn’t bode well and forced me not to get ahead of myself.
The other players? Bland was certainly an improvement at right back on Kay, though he nearly blemished his copybook by taking a leaf out of Ravenhill’s book and letting the ball go out of play, only for their player to keep it in. Thankfully, another defender covered. I thought Kay was poor, as was Alker. Still, they’re not O’Keeffe, or Gent, so small mercies. Earl was his usual centre half self. Solid (when not giving the ball away) and slow. Though I admired one attacking header from a corner, where he didn’t even jump, simply used his strength to outmuscle the defender. Will he keep MdG out of the team? And where’s our World Cup hero? The Curacaon? The Curacian? (What do they call people from Curacao?) Isn’t he a defender? Where’s he today?
Stendal complimented Connell for a good second half, which I think is German for ‘he was bloody useless 1st half.’ You know how the transfer window is too long for Cleary? It’s not long enough for Connell. I wonder what month Luca will have me pining for Herbie Kane at centre mid? Trying to be positive, maybe losing the captaincy will free up some hitherto invisible part of his game? Kelly and McGeehan were quiet too, though they made the right runs. Maybe, with practice, the ball will land at their feet. And as I said, the right winger (I’ve forgotten his name again) and the centre forward (Kirk) needn’t have bothered turning out.
I’ve never seen us win a game (ok, draw a game) with so many players having performed so poorly.
As a league cup treat, Nozzer and I spent pre-match with the Galvins...and even only half of them turned up. Blimey. It also meant arriving at Oakwell early enough to chat rubbish with familiar faces, check out the new replica shirts (actually available, for once, on the opening day) while I could admire the ‘new’ ticket office facilities, which, as far as I can see, means fans standing out in the cold peering through tiny slits to ask our overlords if please may we purchase a ticket for that fine fare inside? Seriously, it won’t always be 20 odd degrees Celsius. Us fans now have to stand in the open (with a small cover tacked on to the back of the Ponty) to buy a ticket. Shoddy. But what would I moan about if I didn’t have something to moan about? Oh. Exactly that. Still. It’s a bit crap, Barnsley FC.
Drink du jour: Leffe in Bramahs.
Away: 522 (4,414). Was it 5-1 or 6-1 to Wigan on chants?
The Damage:
£15 ent
£8 petrol
£3 prog
= £26
Sunday, 2 August 2026
Tadcaster Albion 1-1 Thackley, Saturday 1st August 2026
Tadcaster Albion 1-1 Thackley, Northern Counties East Premier Division, Young Guns Arena (Ings Lane), att. 289
My tickets for Gladiator (the TV show) haven’t come through, so I’m free today. I could go uber local to Golcar (still haven’t been) but given it’s such a nice day, surely this demands a drive out. I narrow it down to two, Bottesford or Tadcaster. However, the former looks a modern and minimal ‘stadium’, while the latter place I’ve passed through and thought ‘that looks a bit of alright.’ Taddy it is.
Tadcaster, an old coaching stop inbetween York and Leeds, is a beautiful little place chocker full of old buildings in its centre and dominated by the vast John Smiths Brewery which dwarves everything else in sight, sound and smell. With Samuel Smiths old brewery in town too, no wonder Tadcaster Albion are known as The Brewers.
Sadly, Satdy afternoon appears to be some kind of deadzone in Tadcaster. Barely anyone walking the streets and most shops shut. I’d expected a treasure trove in quality charity shops, but the shops that did exist wanted to sell me fishing rods, posh frocks, or a bicycle (at least that shop was open). In short, there was nothing that interested me, though I may have a had a look at the vintage fair in Riley-Hall were they not wanting to charge me 2 pounds for the pleasure. Paying to have the chance to buy something? Eh? A branch of Costa Coffee had opened and closed down. Tadcaster in a nutshell. Nice enough that a coffee shop would open, not busy enough for it to remain open.
I’d parked up about 100 metres from the ground, within sight of the stadium’s entrance. Adjacent, other cars parked in slots meant for delivery lorries (presumably from the brewery), so something else that was shut this Satdy. Still, it was good to see ‘TADCASTER ALBION AFC’ proudly displayed. ‘Welcome to the Young Guns Arena’. Welcome indeed. As I walked towards the turnstile, a player, in full kit, legged it past. ‘Forgot my shinpads!’ he exclaimed to the bemused stewards. I hope they charged him to get back in.
I am flabbergasted to find it’s 9 quid entry. This is the 9th tier of English football. By comparison, I think Worsbrough (same level) is £7. I then query my change for my pint of Birra Moretti at the bar, but no, it really is £6.50. The pie and peas at £5.50 might be almost reasonable (loads of peas!) but the crust was rock hard. All in all, not good value.
Still, the ground has its charms. The social club, immediately to the right as you enter, is sizeable and cosy, and you can see the pitch through the windows. There are then a couple of terraced paddocks either side of the players’ tunnel. I take advantage of the roof of the latter to enjoy the shade, eating and drinking. And even though I can’t see the far left corner of the pitch, I stay here for most of the 1st half. Taddy are on top and the action doesn’t often reach the Thackley left wing.
The Brewers are a goal up early, a corner being flicked in. I feel quite smug, as I’ve yet to purchase my pie and peas. The celebrations give me my opportunity (well done on providing mint sauce, btw) and two minutes later I’m back, trying to hammer my way through rock hard crust with a wooden fork.
Most of what I take to be a sparse crowd (I’m surprised to hear it given as 289 later) is stood on this side. I give it half an hour, then go for a walk around. Behind the right hand goal is a small stand containing around 80 seats. It is empty. An even smaller stand, but for standing, holds two steps and two whole people on the far touchline. Like a slightly large bus shelter, very welcome on wetter days. Otherwise, this touchline, hemmed in by trees, is flat standing.
I arrive behind the other goal, where Taddy’s largest stand lies, a cantilever with 3 or 4 rows of seats running most of the pitch’s width. I only intend to -have a half-time sit down. I stay for the rest of the match. Partly this is the expectation, after the opening half, that most of the action will be at this end. It isn’t. Thackley get back into it and deservedly equalise on 76.
The Damage:
£9 ent
£6.50 Birra Moretti
£5.50 pie and peas
= £21
My tickets for Gladiator (the TV show) haven’t come through, so I’m free today. I could go uber local to Golcar (still haven’t been) but given it’s such a nice day, surely this demands a drive out. I narrow it down to two, Bottesford or Tadcaster. However, the former looks a modern and minimal ‘stadium’, while the latter place I’ve passed through and thought ‘that looks a bit of alright.’ Taddy it is.
Tadcaster, an old coaching stop inbetween York and Leeds, is a beautiful little place chocker full of old buildings in its centre and dominated by the vast John Smiths Brewery which dwarves everything else in sight, sound and smell. With Samuel Smiths old brewery in town too, no wonder Tadcaster Albion are known as The Brewers.
Sadly, Satdy afternoon appears to be some kind of deadzone in Tadcaster. Barely anyone walking the streets and most shops shut. I’d expected a treasure trove in quality charity shops, but the shops that did exist wanted to sell me fishing rods, posh frocks, or a bicycle (at least that shop was open). In short, there was nothing that interested me, though I may have a had a look at the vintage fair in Riley-Hall were they not wanting to charge me 2 pounds for the pleasure. Paying to have the chance to buy something? Eh? A branch of Costa Coffee had opened and closed down. Tadcaster in a nutshell. Nice enough that a coffee shop would open, not busy enough for it to remain open.
I’d parked up about 100 metres from the ground, within sight of the stadium’s entrance. Adjacent, other cars parked in slots meant for delivery lorries (presumably from the brewery), so something else that was shut this Satdy. Still, it was good to see ‘TADCASTER ALBION AFC’ proudly displayed. ‘Welcome to the Young Guns Arena’. Welcome indeed. As I walked towards the turnstile, a player, in full kit, legged it past. ‘Forgot my shinpads!’ he exclaimed to the bemused stewards. I hope they charged him to get back in.
I am flabbergasted to find it’s 9 quid entry. This is the 9th tier of English football. By comparison, I think Worsbrough (same level) is £7. I then query my change for my pint of Birra Moretti at the bar, but no, it really is £6.50. The pie and peas at £5.50 might be almost reasonable (loads of peas!) but the crust was rock hard. All in all, not good value.
Still, the ground has its charms. The social club, immediately to the right as you enter, is sizeable and cosy, and you can see the pitch through the windows. There are then a couple of terraced paddocks either side of the players’ tunnel. I take advantage of the roof of the latter to enjoy the shade, eating and drinking. And even though I can’t see the far left corner of the pitch, I stay here for most of the 1st half. Taddy are on top and the action doesn’t often reach the Thackley left wing.
The Brewers are a goal up early, a corner being flicked in. I feel quite smug, as I’ve yet to purchase my pie and peas. The celebrations give me my opportunity (well done on providing mint sauce, btw) and two minutes later I’m back, trying to hammer my way through rock hard crust with a wooden fork.
Most of what I take to be a sparse crowd (I’m surprised to hear it given as 289 later) is stood on this side. I give it half an hour, then go for a walk around. Behind the right hand goal is a small stand containing around 80 seats. It is empty. An even smaller stand, but for standing, holds two steps and two whole people on the far touchline. Like a slightly large bus shelter, very welcome on wetter days. Otherwise, this touchline, hemmed in by trees, is flat standing.
I arrive behind the other goal, where Taddy’s largest stand lies, a cantilever with 3 or 4 rows of seats running most of the pitch’s width. I only intend to -have a half-time sit down. I stay for the rest of the match. Partly this is the expectation, after the opening half, that most of the action will be at this end. It isn’t. Thackley get back into it and deservedly equalise on 76.
The Damage:
£9 ent
£6.50 Birra Moretti
£5.50 pie and peas
= £21
Monday, 4 May 2026
BFC 1-3 Stockport County, Saturday 2nd May 2026
‘F***ing disgusting. F***ing outrageous.’
Well, I’m glad that’s over. We can all have 3 months off now and watch England fail instead. I’m reminded of the Orient manager’s quote at the weekend about it being a wasted year, coaching the (crap) players at his club. I know the feeling. I’ve wasted a year of my supporting life on a side where 3 of the top 4 league starters were Luca Connell (39), Jack Shepherd (37) and ‘Jono’ Bland (32). No wonder we struggled. Still, after a magnificent tail-off in what form we did have, we’ve now finished in our worst league position since the days of Dire, (2002-03, 19th). Note: Isiah the Messiah came in for an injured Dire and saved us with a late winner at home to Brentford in our last home game. Sorry kids, but I’m dealing with facts, not opinions, on this one.
We have finished 15th, below the mighty Doncaster Rovers. I also notice that we’ve swapped positions with Mansfield Town (now 10th) since a certain Jon Russell was deemed ‘surplus to requirements’. Oh well. Roughly 30 games of Connell and Bland neither setting owt up, nor scoring, nor protecting our defence. Shepherd being the WOAT (Worst of all Time) centre half, his partnership (is that the right word?) with Roberts being the worst in memory. Why have 2 centre halves who can’t defend, can’t control a ball, and can’t pass a ball, when you can have 2? At the same time!? And left backs who can’t kick it with their left foot? It’s been so bad that Earl returning at fullback has been a RELIEF. And he’s poor as well.
Which is as close as I can get to a link back to the game. We’re however many minutes in when Earl plays a suicidal ball across the back straight to their player. Why the mad Hatter elects to control it, rather than simply sidefoot it past today’s ineptitude in goal (Flavell) I know not. The extra touch costs him and MdG is in on the block. Flavell then makes a couple of routine saves, and you start thinking, hang on, he might just have the basics, when…he lets an innocuous cross slip through his grasp for a tap-in on the line. Awful. This is why he can’t be trusted with being our first choice. Though blaming him for not being good enough is like blaming Shepherd for being picked. God apparently loves triers, so he must adore this pair. (Mind, who’s on the backpost losing his man? Why, it’s Captain Marvel himself, but I can forgive him this one. You expect your keeper to be able to CATCH a ball...don’t you?)
We settle back, expecting Stockport to run riot now. They need a win to make sure of a play-off place (having been turned over at home to relegated Port Vale midweek) while we have nothing to play for, beyond new contracts for those facing unemployment in the summer (MdG, O’Connell and Phillips of those on display). But Cleary is showing glimmers of what he was before February; a winger who can beat a player and put a ball in. We may get something yet.
And so it is we equalize. Phillips has already had a header saved when he flicks another one goalwards from a Connell free kick. The keeper pulls off an absolute WORLDY, but is slow to get up as O’Keeffe hooks the rebound back across goal for Adam to head in on the goalline. 10 minutes later, Phillips’ reward for being the most likely to score (indeed, for being the one to score) is to be hooked. A good chance to see sub Lennon on the wing. Or getting lost in the middle (cheers, Conor).
We go behind on 71 to one of the most bizarre decisions of a season of bizarre decisions. O’Connell clearly tackles their guy. It’s not even in dispute. The ball trickles towards the wing. Their guy goes down and I’m not even sure why. I am as perplexed as anybody when the ref points to the spot. As is my Blunt mate, who expresses his surprise in greater vocality than I. I’m just dumbfounded. Maybe I’d open my mouth if there was something riding on it, but I’m just in shock. Who cares? It makes no difference to our season. 1-2. For all the penalties awarded against us this season, have we saved one?
Thereafter, Coach Conor sends on Marc Roberts to save the game. Or give us his last hurrah. There is no ‘we all dream of a team of Marc Roberts’. A pity, as this is our 2nd funniest chant after Luca Connell ‘putting on a show’ (where’s that disappeared to?) MdG is pulled. Goodbye Mael. I don’t suppose we’ll give you another contract, not that you’d want one. I liked you, even if plenty found in you a scapegoat. (Still, difficult to blame him when he wasn’t playing!) Farrell is also on for Bradshaw; like Roberts, another player who’ll be fondly remembered only for his 1st stint with us.
The changes make no difference, so off go the Undynamic Duo (Connell and Bland) with Nwakali and Banks coming on. I’ve no idea what the formation is, but we put everyone in their half, so when Nwakali loses the ball in injury time, their player is clean through from his own territory. And while it’s cruel to compare Flavell to the likes of Luke Steele, the one thing I can say about the latter is that he always saved one-on-ones. Flavell doesn’t, and he doesn’t. 1-3. Thank goodness that’s all over.
Anyway, goodbye to this team. If you need a reason to be cheerful, we’ll never see this line up again (4-2-3-1):
Flavell O’Keeffe MdG O’Connell Earl Connell Bland Phillips Kelly Cleary Bradshaw
Onwards and upwards!
*** Cleary. Beat players, whipped in crosses. Hopefully will tempt clubs into dangling a few mill our way.
** Kelly. Not his strongest game, but he’s that far ahead of what we have...Patrick, it’s been a pleasure seeing you develop, put your all into every game, having some personal and professional pride in every appearance while attempting to drag the team up by the scruff of its neck. I also apologise that you’ve had to bear such responsibility on your young shoulders. I can only wish you well in your career development and hope you do your new club proud, whoever it might be. So long, and thanks for all the fish. But if you’re still with us in September, you need a new agent. (Note to BFC: don’t sell him cheap.)
* Phillips. Scored. Nobody else did (for us).
Official MOTM: Kelly
Londontykes’ MOTM: 1. Cleary 2= Kelly / MdG / Phillips
Despatches:
I see we gave McGoldrick the POTY trophy. Not bad for 3 months off, plus another month at the end. Nice to see it being awarded at some exec function, midweek, too. Must make an extra few hundred quid out of it, rather than have it unveiled pre-match in front of the whole crowd. The club are always on the lookout for ideas of how to get fans to Oakwell early, in the hope they buy an extra pie. I can look back on the anticipation I used to feel with fondness.
In other moans, the club announce the game as all-ticket 2 days before the match. 2 days! Presumably this was a SYP directive, normally attuned to a capacity away end. Some of us DON’T actually hang on every word that comes out of Oakwell, so big thanks to whichever Londontyke informed me, cos it meant I had to buy a ticket for my mate. I realise we we wouldn’t have sold too many tickets on walk-up sales, but still.
And who next for our manager/head coach? Hugo Colace was in the crowd, but I can’t see it being him. You don’t go from Bangor City to Barnsley. (Mind, we gave Coach Conor the job, and he’d not managed ANYWHERE!) Of the runners and riders, I’d accept a Staniel Dendal back. Correct, he couldn’t defend either, but that was in a division higher than this. Though admittedly, it’s gonna be a mammoth task given the players we currently have. But one has to be optimistic. We’re shipping out a lot of chaff (while keeping plenty more). A new manager...ANY new manager...can only improve on this season...can’t they?
See you in August.
Drink du jour: Beartown Inception in Spiral.
Away: 2,609 (12,940). And South Yorkshire’s finest made it all ticket...for this?
The Damage:
£8 petrol
£4 prog
£31 replica shirt
= £43
One more thing. Official POTY was McGoldrick (despite having 3 months off). Londontykes POTY was the supreme Patrick Kelly (2nd Cleary, 3rd McG). Not everyone let us down this season.
We have finished 15th, below the mighty Doncaster Rovers. I also notice that we’ve swapped positions with Mansfield Town (now 10th) since a certain Jon Russell was deemed ‘surplus to requirements’. Oh well. Roughly 30 games of Connell and Bland neither setting owt up, nor scoring, nor protecting our defence. Shepherd being the WOAT (Worst of all Time) centre half, his partnership (is that the right word?) with Roberts being the worst in memory. Why have 2 centre halves who can’t defend, can’t control a ball, and can’t pass a ball, when you can have 2? At the same time!? And left backs who can’t kick it with their left foot? It’s been so bad that Earl returning at fullback has been a RELIEF. And he’s poor as well.
Which is as close as I can get to a link back to the game. We’re however many minutes in when Earl plays a suicidal ball across the back straight to their player. Why the mad Hatter elects to control it, rather than simply sidefoot it past today’s ineptitude in goal (Flavell) I know not. The extra touch costs him and MdG is in on the block. Flavell then makes a couple of routine saves, and you start thinking, hang on, he might just have the basics, when…he lets an innocuous cross slip through his grasp for a tap-in on the line. Awful. This is why he can’t be trusted with being our first choice. Though blaming him for not being good enough is like blaming Shepherd for being picked. God apparently loves triers, so he must adore this pair. (Mind, who’s on the backpost losing his man? Why, it’s Captain Marvel himself, but I can forgive him this one. You expect your keeper to be able to CATCH a ball...don’t you?)
We settle back, expecting Stockport to run riot now. They need a win to make sure of a play-off place (having been turned over at home to relegated Port Vale midweek) while we have nothing to play for, beyond new contracts for those facing unemployment in the summer (MdG, O’Connell and Phillips of those on display). But Cleary is showing glimmers of what he was before February; a winger who can beat a player and put a ball in. We may get something yet.
And so it is we equalize. Phillips has already had a header saved when he flicks another one goalwards from a Connell free kick. The keeper pulls off an absolute WORLDY, but is slow to get up as O’Keeffe hooks the rebound back across goal for Adam to head in on the goalline. 10 minutes later, Phillips’ reward for being the most likely to score (indeed, for being the one to score) is to be hooked. A good chance to see sub Lennon on the wing. Or getting lost in the middle (cheers, Conor).
We go behind on 71 to one of the most bizarre decisions of a season of bizarre decisions. O’Connell clearly tackles their guy. It’s not even in dispute. The ball trickles towards the wing. Their guy goes down and I’m not even sure why. I am as perplexed as anybody when the ref points to the spot. As is my Blunt mate, who expresses his surprise in greater vocality than I. I’m just dumbfounded. Maybe I’d open my mouth if there was something riding on it, but I’m just in shock. Who cares? It makes no difference to our season. 1-2. For all the penalties awarded against us this season, have we saved one?
Thereafter, Coach Conor sends on Marc Roberts to save the game. Or give us his last hurrah. There is no ‘we all dream of a team of Marc Roberts’. A pity, as this is our 2nd funniest chant after Luca Connell ‘putting on a show’ (where’s that disappeared to?) MdG is pulled. Goodbye Mael. I don’t suppose we’ll give you another contract, not that you’d want one. I liked you, even if plenty found in you a scapegoat. (Still, difficult to blame him when he wasn’t playing!) Farrell is also on for Bradshaw; like Roberts, another player who’ll be fondly remembered only for his 1st stint with us.
The changes make no difference, so off go the Undynamic Duo (Connell and Bland) with Nwakali and Banks coming on. I’ve no idea what the formation is, but we put everyone in their half, so when Nwakali loses the ball in injury time, their player is clean through from his own territory. And while it’s cruel to compare Flavell to the likes of Luke Steele, the one thing I can say about the latter is that he always saved one-on-ones. Flavell doesn’t, and he doesn’t. 1-3. Thank goodness that’s all over.
Anyway, goodbye to this team. If you need a reason to be cheerful, we’ll never see this line up again (4-2-3-1):
Flavell O’Keeffe MdG O’Connell Earl Connell Bland Phillips Kelly Cleary Bradshaw
Onwards and upwards!
*** Cleary. Beat players, whipped in crosses. Hopefully will tempt clubs into dangling a few mill our way.
** Kelly. Not his strongest game, but he’s that far ahead of what we have...Patrick, it’s been a pleasure seeing you develop, put your all into every game, having some personal and professional pride in every appearance while attempting to drag the team up by the scruff of its neck. I also apologise that you’ve had to bear such responsibility on your young shoulders. I can only wish you well in your career development and hope you do your new club proud, whoever it might be. So long, and thanks for all the fish. But if you’re still with us in September, you need a new agent. (Note to BFC: don’t sell him cheap.)
* Phillips. Scored. Nobody else did (for us).
Official MOTM: Kelly
Londontykes’ MOTM: 1. Cleary 2= Kelly / MdG / Phillips
Despatches:
I see we gave McGoldrick the POTY trophy. Not bad for 3 months off, plus another month at the end. Nice to see it being awarded at some exec function, midweek, too. Must make an extra few hundred quid out of it, rather than have it unveiled pre-match in front of the whole crowd. The club are always on the lookout for ideas of how to get fans to Oakwell early, in the hope they buy an extra pie. I can look back on the anticipation I used to feel with fondness.
In other moans, the club announce the game as all-ticket 2 days before the match. 2 days! Presumably this was a SYP directive, normally attuned to a capacity away end. Some of us DON’T actually hang on every word that comes out of Oakwell, so big thanks to whichever Londontyke informed me, cos it meant I had to buy a ticket for my mate. I realise we we wouldn’t have sold too many tickets on walk-up sales, but still.
And who next for our manager/head coach? Hugo Colace was in the crowd, but I can’t see it being him. You don’t go from Bangor City to Barnsley. (Mind, we gave Coach Conor the job, and he’d not managed ANYWHERE!) Of the runners and riders, I’d accept a Staniel Dendal back. Correct, he couldn’t defend either, but that was in a division higher than this. Though admittedly, it’s gonna be a mammoth task given the players we currently have. But one has to be optimistic. We’re shipping out a lot of chaff (while keeping plenty more). A new manager...ANY new manager...can only improve on this season...can’t they?
See you in August.
Drink du jour: Beartown Inception in Spiral.
Away: 2,609 (12,940). And South Yorkshire’s finest made it all ticket...for this?
The Damage:
£8 petrol
£4 prog
£31 replica shirt
= £43
One more thing. Official POTY was McGoldrick (despite having 3 months off). Londontykes POTY was the supreme Patrick Kelly (2nd Cleary, 3rd McG). Not everyone let us down this season.
Monday, 27 April 2026
Luton Town 2-1 BFC, Saturday 25th April 2026
‘It’s made of long cod pieces.’
I love Kenilworth Road. The low roof. The acoustics. The entrance through someone’s backyard. And the paying of 26 quid to not be able to see EITHER set of goalposts. Still, good job it’s ‘safe standing’ (as opposed to their previously ‘unsafe seating’, where anyone over 5 foot tall couldn’t get out of their seat cos they were jammed in) as this allowed peeps to move around and crane necks around whichever stanchion was in the way this time. Consequently, over the course of 90 minutes, I think I dropped my shoulder left...or right..then left again, more often than Maradona in his prime. And yet I still couldn’t avoid watching another defeat.
Yes, we’re back to playing well and losing, which is what poor teams do. Who was this week’s defence failing to keep a clean sheet? Was it MdG and O’Connell in the middle? I know when push came to shove, it was some bloke called Mads Andersen winning the header off the corner for them to scramble in the winner. I wish we still had him (though probably not on the wages he’s now on).
And it’s not just the defence, is it? We are all of 15 minutes in before Luca Connell fouls their man for a penalty. The very epitome of 'a rash challenge.’ 1 nil. Was there anything more depressing this week than reading Connell is contracted to us for another season? (Yes! O’Keeffe’s here till 2028!) So is Nwakali (2027, that is). But what’s the odds that a new manager will do exactly what Coaches Collins, Clarke and Conor have done, and pick Connell anyway? He’s barely had a decent game since Duff left. (Can we have him back as well?)
Still, we equalised. Kelly picks it up on the halfway line, drives forward 30 yards and the interception falls to Cleary and although his shot is saved, Phillips heads the rebound into an empty net. Oompah loompahs, peaky blinders and a 6 foot shark behind me go wild. Well, it is what should have been the last game of the season.
And then, during our period of being the better side in the second half, we have the obligatory penalty shout turned down, as Phillips rounds the keeper then crashes to the floor after bumping into their covering defender. Not for me, this one, but if you don’t ask, you don’t get. And you don’t get, even if you do.
Then, before the hour, Coach Conor goes for the jugular, sending on Gent and McGoldrick for Earl and Bradshaw. Then it’s Nwakali for Bland on 70, and Farrell and Banks for Phillips and Cleary. It does the trick – we concede. Still, at least it’s not Devante Cole, given a 26 minute trot out for the Hatters. Apparently, they think he’s useless. (I know he is.)
The match winds down with us camping on the edge of their box but refusing to do owt with it. Same old, same old. Is the season over yet? It can’t come quick enough (again). And with Conor telling us there’s no hope next season, I wish it was this time next year already!
Onwards and upwards!
*** Kelly. Everything good about us going forward stems from Kelly.
** Phillips. Most likely looking goalscorer (apart from the fact he WAS our goalscorer).
* No-one. I have no memory of anybody else impressing me. But then again, I was drinking till 3 in the morning.
Londontykes’ MOTM: 1. Kelly 2. Phillips 3. MdG
Despatches:
Special mention to Nice Guy Chris and Equally Nice Wife Jane, who put me up Friday nite. (Considering my train ticket was 90 quid, this was a welcome respite from losing my fortune.) And cheers to that there Andy Jones, who not only bought my train ticket* (generous of him!) from Kings X to Luton, but came laden with bottles of Leffe. He can come again!
*I think he actually wants paying for this.
Indeed, I continued the Leffe theme at Luton Wetherspoons, the Super Reds reputation preceding them as we were barred from 1st choice, The Bricklayers. This is a real shame, as I’ve not had a fight with a Luton fan in ages. Has anybody? Everyone was in good spirits in Spoons (as the kids call it), whether a Hatter or Tyke. They still had something riding on their season, while we were just glad it’ll soon be over.
On that note, I was wavering on Satdy. Should I go to Northampton on Tuesday nite? I’ve only been once, and we lost. And I know it’s crap (a new build in an out of town retail park) but they’re going down, and I don’t know when we’ll see them again. (‘Season after next...unless they come back up!’) But, you know what? I think Luton was my 37th game of a long season. And this game should have been played on a Satdy, weeks ago, but both teams have too many internationals and called it off. So, if they can’t be bothered playing it on a Satdy, I can’t be bothered coming down for it.
Oh, and we had a guest in the away end, Satdy – Vimal Yoganathan. Good on him. I think Vimal even got a selfie with Jonesy.
Drink du jour: Leffe in Wetherspoons.
Away: 1,179, sellout. (11,781). ‘We’re off to Bromley...you’re going as well!’
The Damage:
£90 train (Wakefield to London rtn)
£10 train (Kings X to Luton rtn)
£26 ent
= £126
Yes, we’re back to playing well and losing, which is what poor teams do. Who was this week’s defence failing to keep a clean sheet? Was it MdG and O’Connell in the middle? I know when push came to shove, it was some bloke called Mads Andersen winning the header off the corner for them to scramble in the winner. I wish we still had him (though probably not on the wages he’s now on).
And it’s not just the defence, is it? We are all of 15 minutes in before Luca Connell fouls their man for a penalty. The very epitome of 'a rash challenge.’ 1 nil. Was there anything more depressing this week than reading Connell is contracted to us for another season? (Yes! O’Keeffe’s here till 2028!) So is Nwakali (2027, that is). But what’s the odds that a new manager will do exactly what Coaches Collins, Clarke and Conor have done, and pick Connell anyway? He’s barely had a decent game since Duff left. (Can we have him back as well?)
Still, we equalised. Kelly picks it up on the halfway line, drives forward 30 yards and the interception falls to Cleary and although his shot is saved, Phillips heads the rebound into an empty net. Oompah loompahs, peaky blinders and a 6 foot shark behind me go wild. Well, it is what should have been the last game of the season.
And then, during our period of being the better side in the second half, we have the obligatory penalty shout turned down, as Phillips rounds the keeper then crashes to the floor after bumping into their covering defender. Not for me, this one, but if you don’t ask, you don’t get. And you don’t get, even if you do.
Then, before the hour, Coach Conor goes for the jugular, sending on Gent and McGoldrick for Earl and Bradshaw. Then it’s Nwakali for Bland on 70, and Farrell and Banks for Phillips and Cleary. It does the trick – we concede. Still, at least it’s not Devante Cole, given a 26 minute trot out for the Hatters. Apparently, they think he’s useless. (I know he is.)
The match winds down with us camping on the edge of their box but refusing to do owt with it. Same old, same old. Is the season over yet? It can’t come quick enough (again). And with Conor telling us there’s no hope next season, I wish it was this time next year already!
Onwards and upwards!
*** Kelly. Everything good about us going forward stems from Kelly.
** Phillips. Most likely looking goalscorer (apart from the fact he WAS our goalscorer).
* No-one. I have no memory of anybody else impressing me. But then again, I was drinking till 3 in the morning.
Londontykes’ MOTM: 1. Kelly 2. Phillips 3. MdG
Despatches:
Special mention to Nice Guy Chris and Equally Nice Wife Jane, who put me up Friday nite. (Considering my train ticket was 90 quid, this was a welcome respite from losing my fortune.) And cheers to that there Andy Jones, who not only bought my train ticket* (generous of him!) from Kings X to Luton, but came laden with bottles of Leffe. He can come again!
*I think he actually wants paying for this.
Indeed, I continued the Leffe theme at Luton Wetherspoons, the Super Reds reputation preceding them as we were barred from 1st choice, The Bricklayers. This is a real shame, as I’ve not had a fight with a Luton fan in ages. Has anybody? Everyone was in good spirits in Spoons (as the kids call it), whether a Hatter or Tyke. They still had something riding on their season, while we were just glad it’ll soon be over.
On that note, I was wavering on Satdy. Should I go to Northampton on Tuesday nite? I’ve only been once, and we lost. And I know it’s crap (a new build in an out of town retail park) but they’re going down, and I don’t know when we’ll see them again. (‘Season after next...unless they come back up!’) But, you know what? I think Luton was my 37th game of a long season. And this game should have been played on a Satdy, weeks ago, but both teams have too many internationals and called it off. So, if they can’t be bothered playing it on a Satdy, I can’t be bothered coming down for it.
Oh, and we had a guest in the away end, Satdy – Vimal Yoganathan. Good on him. I think Vimal even got a selfie with Jonesy.
Drink du jour: Leffe in Wetherspoons.
Away: 1,179, sellout. (11,781). ‘We’re off to Bromley...you’re going as well!’
The Damage:
£90 train (Wakefield to London rtn)
£10 train (Kings X to Luton rtn)
£26 ent
= £126
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