Still, the day was enlivened by a quite remarkable interview post-match on Radio Sheffield, where Coach Conor told us we had no chance of a top 6 place, never had a chance of a top 6 place, and neither would we next season. Honesty? Negativity? Stupidity? Or all 3? Honesty, well yes, it’s difficult to get into the top 3 without a centre forward under 82 and no defence. Negativity? It’s one thing to be saying we’re not coming close this season, but next season too? And stupidity? Season ticket renewal begging letters will be out soon, and a strapline of ‘we’ve got no chance’ is a bemusing way to convince us to part with £400. It was a manifesto for being pessimistic. I can get onboard with that! But if your own manager can’t be a cheerleader for the team’s prospects, who can? Granted, I couldn’t stand the bullsh*t that came out of Little Lee’s big mouth, but you have to talk up your chances, don’t you?
Also, whatever we think of the current crop of players, it is the head coach’s job to get a tune out of them. Is Conor accepting how limited he is? This week we learnt that the Super Reds spend £11.5m (that’s MILLION) on wages in 24-25. I’d have thought that’s enough to put a challenge in this season, even if we’ve managed to offload Benson For Beds (The Glassman) and Watters off our wage bill. (The latter, I’m pretty sure IS on our wage bill, there’s no way Dundee United are paying him £6k/week.) I’d like to think that paying out 10 million+ in wages (I know, I know, it includes non-playing staff too, but surely you’re paying your players the most) would be enough to form a football team capable of beating one of Port Vale, Rovrum or Donny.
Master tactician Coach Conor had a new one on Satdy: he’d outfox Donny by playing our star winger as a centre forward. As A. Jones of Sidcup said, it was like when Davey played JCR centre mid. It didn’t take anyone in the stands longer than a quarter of an hour to see that Cleary clearly had no idea what he was doing. It took Conor 45. The answer? Hauling Banks, putting on The GOAT and reverting to the usual 4-2-3-1 with the Undynamic Dup holding fort on the halfway line. While I think about it Luca Connell has TWO deliveries: underhit and overhit. Is there NOBODY at Oakwell who can kick a deadball better than this shyster. If I see one more gently dinked outswinger from a Connell corner, I think I’ll explode. Or chunter on about what a waste of space he is. (He also had one of our…2?...shots in the 1st half, a typically weak effort dragged wide.)
That said, after nothing of substance happened in the opening half, we regained our mojo for 10 or 15 minutes. Kelly was driving forward, taking players on. Yoganathan was winning it, losing it, winning it...and losing it again (but had at least gained some territory) while McG flitted about in his inimitable way. Then we switch off. A ball comes in from their right, and Corey O’Keeffe ends up the wrong side of the forward before ‘a silly tug’ (The Yorkshire Post). I couldn’t really see, but the Donny fans certainly felt it was a pen. On looking at it on telly, I’m surprised O’Keeffe didn’t get a red card too, preventing a tap-in. Another week, another failure to keep a clean sheet.
Worse, former useless Red Elliott Lee pokes a low one just to the keeper’s left. Sadly, the keeper goers right. Story of Crapman’s season. Still, the award was a slight surprise. The ref had been letting plenty of challenges go, which pleased everybody. Then he gave Donny 3 cheap free kicks in 5 minutes for their equivalent of the ‘Shepherd Flop.’ As for the winning ticket for our own ‘Shepherd Flop’, we’ll never know. Donny scoring broke the scoreboard. I’d say Jack’s latest effort was around 83 (minutes in, not marks out of 100).
A goal down, at home to local rivals, we piled forward for the last 20 and had them pinned in their box, keeper making save after save. Or b) our only effort was a smart move in the last minute that led to Kelly stabbing it goalwards and the keeper turning it around the post superbly. (Not sure it was going in, mind.)
The season is officially over. Anyone who thought we’d ever challenge for a play-off place is an idiot. Conor says so.
Onwards and upwards!
*** Kelly. I don’t know how this lad keeps up his morale, constantly driving forward while all around stand and watch.
** O’Connell. There must be some reason they’re not getting near our goal. (‘Cos they were crap?’)
* Lennon. Had a positive 20 mins after coming on for Cleary, wide left.
Official MOTM: Kelly
Londontykes’ MOTM: 1. Kelly 2. O’Connell 3= Lennon / McGoldrick
Despatches:
I tried resisting temptation to be positive pre-match, but the sun shone down, and I’d not seen queues like this at Oakwell for a while. Suspiciously long queues. ‘Searching people for tennis balls’ was the theory. Why else would there be lines of folk snaking from each turnstile? I’m presuming it had nothing to do with the box office being shut. Maybe BFC are just like the rest of us – beholden to when a tradesman can actually be bothered to make it. There must be some reason they’re not doing this work in the summer. Oh, and writing ‘POLITE NOTICE’ on a notice DOES NOT MAKE IT SO. So we now have a portacabin for a ticket office till some Polish bloke pops round to sort it out. (Actually, if he was Polish, the job would already be done.)
The players? I love the idea that we were hit hard by Bradshaw’s late withdrawal. Guess what? Donny were without their star player, Luke Molyneux, and their star former Blunt pensioner centre forward Billy. Maybe Rovrum can bring in Keith Edwards and all these crap League 1 South Yorkshire sides can have one. Let’s not also forget that Donny’s defence was marshalled by Matty Pearson, considered not good enough at Oakwell seemingly 20 years ago. (He was a crap left back, but played alright centre half.) I never noticed Elliott Lee, either with us or against.
Goodman had nothing to do in goal, but did it very well. Shepherd was back for MdG at centre half, another outlandish decision from Coach Conor. Sadly, he only miscontrolled it and nearly fell over once, nearly putting them clean through. I know MdG isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, but at least he can control a ball, and run forward with it. Watson was this week’s ‘right footer at left back’ (while we had 2 left footed left backs on the bench). The highlight, possibly of the match, if not his own performance, was when Tennai messed up a throw-in and hoofed the ball 60 yards upfield in a hissy fit. He scored as well. Yellow card, hilarious. O’Keeffe...well, he settled the game, so well done him.
Connell, I’ve nothing new to expand on. Bit like his game, really. Bland did ok coming on, even making a run forward (just the one). Banks was unlucky to be dragged, possibly putting his hand up at half-time when Conor asked ‘who wants to be pulled off?’ McGoldrick had a nightmare opening 20, giving the ball away 4 or 5 times, while Cleary continues to show he needs a fortnite off.
Drink du jour: Verdant Lightbulb at Spiral.
Away: 2,824 (13,026). ‘Your support is f***ing sh*t’ the away end sang…not realising that at the time (1st half), it was our best atmosphere in months. We soon put an end to it though, and by the end were chanting against the board (of course).
The Damage:
£7 petrol
= £7
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