Olympique Lyonnais 3-1 Villarreal, Thursday 15th February 2018

Olympique Lyonnais 3-1 Villarreal (att. 46,846)

Welcome to ....

February half term and time for another city break centred around the Europa League draw. And with many of the cities already visited, or in the far east (Russia), it came down to Lyon or (AEK) Athens. Ancient Greek or Roman ruins? Well, Lyon was closer, so off we went. I still wonder whether the Parthenon is still covered in scaffolding, as it was 20+ years ago on my previous visit, but I’ll give them a bit longer to get it sorted…

The exterior of the Groupama Stadium.

Lyon’s new stadium was built for Euro 2016, though Olympique had long held ambitions to expand from their homely Stade de Gerland. I think I read the new stadium cost €500m, of which €180m was for transport infrastructure. So the least I would expect is an architecturally noted stadium and a certain ease of access. What I got was one of the ugliest stadia I’ve ever seen, and a return journey which took over two hours to get to our hotel, centrally located near the railway station at Perrache.

Like you, beautiful on the inside.

It’s difficult to describe what the Groupama Stadium looks like, other than an aberration. It’s a horror. It looks like a cross between an office block and a factory, with a roof that’s been dumped on it at crazy angles. It’s awful. (Thankfully, the inside is superb; two tiers of seats, all enclosed, great views.) Then there is the transport. Tonight was a midweek game with 46,000 spectators, and queues for the metro were reminiscent of the worst of the Boleyn Ground, or the Amex. Only here, trains threatened to stop running within 40 mins of full time. How we’d have got back otherwise, I’m not sure.

What it looks like in daylight.  On a postcard.

Naturally, they’ve built the new stadium miles out of town. Handy for the airport, for when Manchester United et al visit, and handy for those whose cars fill the myriad carparks between the nearby motorway and stadium. What about folk who support OL, live in Lyon and don’t own a car? Tough. It’s a far cry from their old Stade de Gerland, easily accessible from the city centre.  Still, at least match tickets were easily procured, upstairs in the club shop in town, next to Place Bellecour.

The concourse.  Cheerless.

Having made the trip out to the stadium, OL make the effort once you get there. Pre-match, the music goes up a notch, the lights go down and lazers criss-cross the stadium. Spectacular, and with a black sky, you almost feel like you’re indoors. It’s a tasty looking fixture too: Lyon, 3rd in the French league, against Villarreal, 5th in Spain. I am hoping for an entertaining match and it doesn’t disappoint. Both sides played an open game and looked to score. Half time could have seen it twos-apiece, the highlight being Villarreal having a thunderous volley direct from a corner parried away.

We arrived at half time goalless, but it didn’t remain that for long, as OL took the lead in the opening minute of the second half, a corner being headed back over the keeper for a simple nod in at the back post. Three minutes later, Villarreal had undone all of their good work of the opening half by going two down, the rebound being picked off after a great run and shot was saved.  A lightning re-start and reward for those not dawdling under the stands at half time.

The teams line up before kick-off.

I rather fancied Villarreal weren’t out of it yet though, and they pulled one back when Pablo Fornals was played in and he appeared to shoot THROUGH the keeper, the momentum of the shot just about carrying it over the line before a defender cleared just too late. However, the best was saved to last, as former £25m Man U misfit Memphis Depay came on, showboated, looked a class above anything else on the pitch, and duly ran onto a loose ball and despatched a 25 yard shot into the bottom corner without breaking stride. Pure class. And I would have over two hours to muse on it as I made my way home.

Villarreal get set for a corner.

The Damage (for 2): 
€20 Ent (x2) 
€3.50 coca-cola 
€2.50 water 
free programme/newspaper 
= €46

Groupama Stadium panorama.

The lights go down, ready for the gladiators' entrance.

A place for everything, and everything in its place.

The 'smaller' ultras.

Them widening gangways, like wot the Stade du France has.

A corner of emptiness.

Novel safety barriers.

The ultras hoist their scarves.

Home time.

The A4 match ticket.

Bury 0-0 Southend United, Tuesday 13th February 2018

Bury 0-0 Southend United (att. 2,795)
‘I didn’t come last week cos I was ill. I came this week cos I’m not ill.’

Welcome to ...

With a week off work, what better way to spend 24 hours than travel up to Greater Manchester and tick off ground #89? Course, not wishing to spend the night, the only option for coming back was an overnite Megabus. Grim. I did manage SOME sleep…inbetween being woken up at Leeds, Sheffield, Loughborough, Leicester, Rugby (Rugby???) and possibly Milton Keynes. Not ideal when I’ve things to achieve today…

Bury FC hoarding on the busy Manchester Road.

So, yeah, a train up from Euston. And I wasn’t the only one catching the 10am (second class) – so were the Southend United team. Who were they playing? Bury. What are the chances? I never saw them on the Megabus back. Premier Inn, Bury, tonite lads? Train in around noon and a chance to visit the National Football Museum and Afflecks Palace. The former, not as good as I remember it being at Preston, but at least free. Is it cos they have ‘National’ in front of it, they have to? Something like that. Still, an interesting floor of old football games machines (not the computer console kind) which are also playable. The Pele exhibition just seemed like an excuse for some artists to sell a few paintings, while god knows why they needed to advertise this week’s Eubanks jnr boxing match by installing a ring. I think the idea was they’d have a couple of blokes sparring in there, but unlike 100 others, I’ve better things to do than stand around waiting for over half an hour. Afflecks Palace wasn’t as I’d remembered it 25 years ago either. Some things you should just leave to memory.

The National Football Museum.

Anyway, it was good to be wandering around Manchester, getting my bearings for next time, before I hopped on a tram to Bury. This was a bit of a mistake too, since the bus (#135 was one of them) goes right past ‘The Energy Check Stadium at Gigg Lane’ (WTF?). But I wanted a go on a tram, and look at Bury town centre. The tram ride in the rush hour was fine (I eventually got a seat), 6pm in Bury less so. I walked along Manchester Road (there’s a clue, re: buses) and came across a pub, The Staff of Life. Didn’t look great, I carried on to the Swan and Cemetery. Apparently this has a good rep locally for food. All I found was a characterful pub on the outside looking characterless in. Why paint everything grey? Spacious enough though and it did San Miguel (the best of a bad bunch). A few Sarfend were in having driven.  I didn't sense any home fans.  It also looked a bit of a chain pub, but I can’t be bothered to find out if it is. If I come to Gigg Lane again, I’ll problies just drink in Manchester.

Bury's uniquely shaped stadium.

With 15 mins to kick off I was outside the stadium. I wasn’t expecting a queue at the box office, but overhearing fans, I think they were there for Blackburn away tickets - £5 for a friend of a season ticketholder (though full price for the season ticketholder himself). Another interesting offer which doesn’t quite reward the loyal fan. Maybe it’ll boost numbers though, and was maybe a reciprocal arrangement for the home game, where Rovers outnumbered Bury, the programme tells me. (Bradford did the same. Poor Bury.)

One fan makes himseld comfortable.  And why not?

A brick hut opposite the ticket office was selling food. ‘Black pudding £2’. Now, I’ve only ever had black pudding as an accompaniment, but I was assured by a home fan inside that the legendary foodstuff is eaten on its own round these parts. Well I never. I settled for a goulash for £3.50, which, while very hot (the temperature was sub zero), and very nice, tasted nothing like goulash. It was closer to Lancashire hotpot, but given I was in Lancashire, I guess they know what doesn’t constitute Lancashire hotpot. Anyway, I was able to take it into the stadium, as I paid my twenty quid on the gate. As I hesitated at the turnstile, I was asked ‘what’s up?’. ‘Sorry, I thought I’d be given a match ticket.’ ‘No, not here, we can’t afford ‘em’.

The Bury FC floodlight avoidance scheme.

I was in the Main Stand, and aside from the ‘reserved’ seats (season ticket holders?) you could sit where you like. I went up high, mainly so I wasn’t in anyone’s way. The old roof hung low, meaning I couldn’t see some of the opposite stand, nor the keeper’s aerial hoofs. No bad thing. I got chatting to a local, who came to the back cos he could stand. No, he doesn’t think they’ll stay up. ‘But you’ve been getting 2 points a game since the new manager came in.’ ‘Eh? You can’t get 2 points a game. You can only get one point or 3 points.’ (They’ve 8 points from the last 4 games.) Bless. He was very passionate though and gave it some mouth towards the pitch.

The away end.  150+, not bad.

In fact, the atmosphere wasn’t too bad given the low numbers and the appalling nature of the game. ‘It promises to be an entertaining game’ claimed the pre-match spiel on Bury’s website. I think they were looking at Sarfend’s 3 wins in a row since Chris Powell came in, as well as their own recent record. Unless they have a different definition of ‘entertaining’ round these parts. They were slating Rochdale’s pitch last week, but their own is in a right state. Players couldn’t run with the ball for tripping up, or the ball bobbling. In fact, while I’m at it, why do s*** teams play on s*** pitches? Shouldn’t it be the other way around? Good players are the ones who should be able to play on any pitch, surely?

Inside the Main Stand.  Cosy.

What football there was came from Southend, who bossed the first half without notching, the home keeper making several saves. Second half, they were both as bad as each other. At least I got to see former Barnsley ‘legend’ (my description, nobody else’s) Stephen Dawson jog around for Bury in much the same way he’d done for us in the Championship. And like the Championship, he was always a second behind everyone else, despite the effort. Age is catching up with him. At least he’s used to relegation – cos I can’t see Bury escaping now. 10 points off safety and 14 matches left. Time to bag a tram to Manchester and try not to slip on the icy streets. God it was cold.

The Cemetery End.  Lifeless.

The Damage:
£20 Ent
£3 prog
£23 train
£9 Megabus
£4.60 tram
= £59.60

The Tunes:
Stay Gold (First Aid Kit)
brown album (Orbital)
The Digging Remedy (Plaid)
Claustrophobia (Scuba)
Mixmag Jul14 (Scuba)
Mixmag Mar16 (Novelist)
Mixmag Aug15 (Black Coffee)
Screamadelica (Primal Scream)
Drunk (Thundercat)
Silence (Pete Namlook and Dr. Atmo)
Slowdive (Slowdive)

Gigg Lane panorama

Yes, it WAS that cold.

Sign on way to stadium.  Coincidence?

Back of the Main Stand.

Shallow seating, miles off pitch = rubbish.

All hail the Postie Boys!

Another design fault.  A gangway, then seats continue.  

The Les Hart Stand.

Full time.

The Les Hart 'Shakers' Stand.

There's only ONE 'BFC'. (Barnsley)

Main Stand concourse.

BFC 1-1 Sheffield Wednesday, Saturday 10th February 2018

‘Pull your jeans up!’

Welcome to...a new sign!

The king is dead.  Long live the king.  Yes, it’s the first game following Paul ‘he’s one of our own (no he isn’t)'s controversial departure to local cuddly fluffballs Dirty Leeds.  Tell you what we need – let’s have a home game v Sheffield Superclub, who we cannot beat no matter what.  The more things change….

The players certainly seemed up for it, none more so than new captain Yiadom early doors, who races 15 yards to win a 30-70 header.  I almost had to turn away, fearing a sickening clash of heads.  And on a captains note, have we given the captaincy to Yids just so he can be the 4^th captain we lose in consecutive transfer windows?

The cap'n.

We attacked constantly in that 1^st half.I s’pose it helped having proper wingers (Hammill and a returning Isgrove; Moncur dropping to the bench to no-one’s disappointment).  But wingers can’t play without a solid midfield base, and Williams and Gardner had their best match yet together.  Chuck in decent performances from the fullbacks and defence, and against a side as poor as Washday, how did we not win?  

Lest there be any doubt.

I haven’t even mentioned my new favourite (non) Reds player…Olly ‘Caspar’ McBurnie, on loan from Swansea.  He is AWESOME.  He is EVERYWHERE.  The ball STICKS to him.  He can run at players.  He can head a ball.  He puts in challenges. He is mobile.  He is more on his own than the rest of our (fairly expensively signed) forward line COMBINED. Even better, he looks about as far from a footballer as you’re likely to get.  Socks around his ankles, a skinny frame, even his posture is dishevelled.  He is Billy Caspar incarnate.  And he capped a superb performance with, for me, the goal of the season so far.  He picks the ball up to the right of the box.  He drives in, plays a one-two (WTF?), rounds a defender, then still has the composure to stroke the ball home with his left into the far right corner.  Like Obi Wan Kenobi, ‘you’re my only hope.’

The Ponty v Washday.

Course, we still didn’t eke out that win and if I’m pinpointing one single excuse, apart from Bradshaw again being unable to hit the old onion bag (has he made it 10 matches without a goal yet?), it’s the referee.  Whyohwhyohwhy do we keep getting Premiership referees to officiate our ‘big’ local derbies – they only ever seem to favour the ‘big’ sides.  Today was Lee Probert’s turn.  Washday play a throughball.  I’m level with it, East lower, towards the away end.  It’s Townsend’s all day long, but he hesitates, then goes backwards.  Washday run onto it, then there’s a tangle with Yiadom, he goes down.  Pen.  I couldn’t tell, but having the benefit of TV, it’s certainly less of a pen than the one he later turns down for Hammill, who is impeded as he rounds their defender.  Of course we know Hamill goes down easily (at least his missus is happy) but, when he’s on a booking already, I don’t see Hammill diving.  And it would have been very soft, but in the last minute, substitute Moore, running away from goal, has his shirt blatantly pulled.  The ‘referee’s assistant’, enjoying exactly the same view as me, sees nothing.  Grrrrrrrr.  And we’ll ignore all the times Washday took quick free kicks from a complete different place from where the incidents took place.  

Townsend dives out of the way of the pen.

Still, we can’t rely on the ref.  Bradshaw hit a sweet volley which was well saved, while scuffing a close range bobbler into the keeper 2^nd half.  Unfortunately, the Hammill penalty incident notwithstanding, our efforts petered out 2^nd half and when McBurnie was taken off with 20 mins left, the game was up.  Isgrove had already been dragged off for an ineffectual Bournemouth winger.  (He looked very poor; like a left footed Kevin Donovan).  Kept possession, but only cos he was kicking it backwards to someone else.  

Onwards and upwards!

Washday celebrate taking the lead.

*** McBurnie.  I can understand why Hecky (who?) kept up the pursuit.  Let’s hope he lives up to the hyperbole.  Twitter MOTM.  Obvs.

** Hammill.  Beckhamesque.  Doesn’t need to beat a player to whip in a cross.  And worked hard, as usual.  And got booked for diving into a tackle.  As usual.

* Isgrove.  We looked a lot more balanced today, with Izzy Wizzy Let’s Get Busy.  If he could cross a ball, we’d be dangerous.  Perhaps he couldn’t remember the size of the pitch…?

Despatches:  Townsend did pretty well, outside of the goal.  Commanded his box, anyway (but didn’t really have a save to make).  Yiadom was back to making runs at their defence, Penniless looked solid.  Mills was magnificent 1^st half, ably supported by Lindsay.  Their team were GIANTS, none more so than the centre forward.  Williams and Gardner paired up well, the only time I remember Williams losing it being some stupid back heeled flick volley from the keeper’s punt.  Much improved, Joe.  Bradshaw will never score another goal in a Reds shirt.  Moore might never get one in the 1^st place.  Thiam can’t even get off the bench.  Mahoney is a winger who can’t beat a player or cross a ball.

Players await a corner.

The early start saw off The Captain, another missed bus meaning he didn’t get out of Hampshire.  Big thanks to Hicksy and Loko, who looked after my 4 Dutch groundhoppers, letting them keep their bags in Redfearns.  Even better, while in Redfearns, they wanted 6 volunteers for the half time entertainment.  I quickly jumped in and thus we had 3 Dutchmen running around a cone 10 times then trying to put a shot past Toby Tyke.  It’s a fine balancing act, trying to hit a ball with some power while not trying to slip over on the wet turf, and one of them never managed it.  ‘You shouldn’t laugh at other people’s misfortune, but that WAS funny’ said the announcer.  (He still scored tho.)  Hopefully it made their day, since their taxi to Bradford never showed up and they missed their double header (2 matches in one day). 

One Dutchman struggles with the concept...

Also, is it just me who can’t believe Reds fans CHEERING Sheffield United winning?  I mean, I know it’s against Hecky’s bunch, but still…(and while we’re on past Reds managers, wasn’t it a shame to see future Premiership coach Little Lee see his side lose a 3 goal lead to Sunderland?  What do you mean it was?  I know, I know, Sunderland are in the mix with us.  But I’ve now got bets with FIVE people that we’re going down.  Loko, Jonesy, Slacki, Beckenham Chris…and whoever I made the bet with in the pub in Brentford, which Alison filmed.)  We are in deep, deep s*** and if we don’t pull out some points in the next 2 matches (Burton, Brum) I don’t see how we’re getting points anywhere else.  Ollie McBurnie….you are our only hope.

...while another prepares to drill it home.

Drink du jour: 
Being on a train in the middle of the afternoon, we decided to take it easy and have beer.  Until we got to Sainsbury and saw there was an offer on the JD.  The coke was incidental.  Then several pints of Sierra Nevada at the Parcel Yard with Reedy and a discussion on where’s best to discover new music: 6 Music or Spotify.

Away: 4,500.  Due to police concerns, a stand what holds 5,900 can now only safely hold 4,500 blue and white stripey ****s.  Still, at least they’re paying £36 for the privilege, as we return the favour.  Ba5tards.

The Damage:
£23.80 train
£5 prog (yes, you read that right.  Another ‘special’.  Though I need to ask the pretty girlfriend of James Cryne what she sees in the heir to a multi-million fortune)
= £28.80

The Tunes:
Every Country’s Sun (Mogwai).
Blind (The Sundays)

Panorama v Washday.

Not very busy at 11:15am (for a 12:15 KO).

The teams line up.

Full time.

QPR 1-0 BFC, Saturday 3rd February 2018

***photos to follow

‘They’re like a rock band…but s***’

I can’t believe I fell for it. I was weirdly optimistic beforehand. Who cares that we’ve 3 draws and 21 defeats in Shepherd’s Bush since 1950? I had channelled my inner gypsy: the trousers I’d picked up from the dry cleaners were surely the charm needed to break the curse.  I’d already decided that if they worked, they were coming next season.  Reedy tried breaking the optimism; we were nowhere near the side we were last season – when we’d been beaten comfortably, again.  Very true, very true. But QPR aren’t world beaters either, even if a certain Josh Scowen claimed the other week they were a ‘bigger team than Barnsley’. With less than 12,000 home fans there today, I’m not so sure – though they can certainly claim to have more supporters willing to pay £38 on the day for a middling second division game. Criminal.

After our undercover efforts to get into The Defectors Weld last season (hide your colours), we decided on a meet up in Notting Hill this time.  Only knowing the place from some film I’ve never seen, I imagined Notting Hill to be some kind of middle to upper class loveliness.  It reminded me of Reading.  Fortunately, the pub was pleasant enough (Windsor Castle) though I noticed it claimed to be in Kensington.  Yeah right.  Dave even paid me for the Sunderland tickets I bought 2 months ago.  While the group split between an uber and the bus, Phil went missing.  He later claimed QPR wouldn’t let him in; I suspect he baulked at the £38 asking price…

The match started well. 5 mins in, a free kick is curled to the back post by Hammill, for the header across goal and Mills….to clear the bar from 6 yards.  Beautifully crafted, only lacking the finish.  That feeling of ‘it’s not going to be our day’ starts very early at Loftus Road, though Andy did point out when we’d made 10 mins without conceding.  We spent the half looking the better side, but only had one other effort worthy of the name; a half volley from 20 yards by Hammill, tipped over.  We’d been the better side, still created very little, and scored less.  It didn’t look good.

We came out a different side.  Not literally, we were just s*** from start to finish.  And if it took Fulham 4 minutes of the second half to score last week, it takes their West London compadres 3, as Josh Scowen picks up the ball and floats a 25 yarder curler into the far corner.  I thought Townsend should have done better from that distance, but to be fair, it’s the kind of goal Davies concedes too. (I seem to remember wondering after the last goal we conceded from outside the box, when the last time WE got one.  I’m still wondering.  Everyone else has midfielders who can kick a ball.  Why don’t we?)  It was their first shot on target.

Hecky tried mixing it up, bringing on Hedges and McBurnie for Hammill and Moore, but it made no difference.  Then, after QPR were down to 10 men for a rash challenge on the byeline, he brought on Mahoney, the winger from Bournemouth, and went 3 at the back.  With QPR running clean through twice, it’s fair to say the lack of a 4^th defender made more difference.  One of these was direct from a THROW-IN.  I know I'm a keen fan of hyperbole, but this must be the worst defending I've EVER SEEN.  Mahoney was ignored for large spells by his own team, who appeared incapable of switching play quickly.  Who was it had 10 men?  Townsend, by the way, saved both, one being particularly impressive.  The sending off meantime, surprised Reedy, Dave and I, we all thought it was yellow at best from where we were, but our entire bench jumped up as it was in front of them.  The ref stayed impassive for a few seconds, stood  where he was (while everyone else was running around) and brandished the red.  Nothing like giving yourself time to think.

We did though have the one chance, the one ‘nearly’….as a ball is flighted in (Mahoney?) and McBurnie headed it down….Moncur sidefoots it into the corner…right in front of us….it beats the keeper….and a defender sticks his leg out on the line. Ba5tard.  Another year, another loss at Queens Park Rangers.  If there’s an upside, I don’t think we’ll be here next season.

Onwards and upwards!  (Not that I believe it.)

*** Mills.  I thought Pearson very unlucky not to keep his place after last week, but Mills did well.  Shame he missed that early chance though. How things could have been different!

** Yiadom.  Not a vintage performance, and effectively marked at times, but was trying to make things happen.* McBurnie.  He was everywhere.  Looks rangy and dishevelled, but puts himself about.  Doesn’t look like a footballer, but looks better than owt we have up front.  Go figure.

Despatches:
It was a shame to hear a few boos at the end, however badly we’d played 2^nd half.  That said, I flounced out at the end and went to Westfield for a bit of retail therapy to cheer myself up. (I needed a suit.)  I came out even more depressed.  Shopping centres are awful places, aren’t they?  The players?  Moore looked like a carthorse.  Bradshaw kept failing to control the ball with his shins.  Oh, and I nearly forgot, was put clean through by Moncur….and got outpaced to it despite a headstart. It is a COMPLETE WASTE OF TIME threading balls through to our forwards.  They can’t run.  Moncur was ok, including an early 50 yard run through the heart of the pitch, and got a shot off (on target as I remember, but didn’t trouble the keeper). Hammill disappeared 2^nd half, whileWilliams….Williams.  Great to see him back, making tackles and giving the ball straight back to them.  He does it ALL the time.  So that meant Gardner could push up and be useless (the Potts role?)  Lindsay and Penniless looked comfortable in defence.

Away: c700.  I couldn’t believe it either.  Who are these people willing to pay £33 (advance) or £38 (on the day) if they weren’t loyal enough (sorry) to be one of the 210 regulars who nabbed the £10 s*** seats in the corner?  Course, we were some of the 210, and with some rather efficient stewarding preventing us going through another entrance, we had to enter the stand at the correct place…before we moved along to sit where we wanted.  It’s one advantage of supporting a team who never fill this stand.  And I can get a bus from Shepherd’s Bush to Camberwell.  A cheap day out all round!

The Damage:

£10 ent
£3 prog
= £13

Drink du jour: Some pale ale or other.

The Tunes:
Utopia (Bjork)
Parallel LInes (Blondie)
Staring At The Sea (The Cure)