Albion Rovers 2-0 Stirling Albion, Saturday 6th May 2023

Albion Rovers 2-0 Stirling Albion, Scottish League 2, The Reigart Stadium (Cliftonhill), att. 623

How much does having a football league team define your town? For places up and down the British Isles, few would have heard of them but for their football team. Here in Scotland… Arbroath, Alloa, Stenhousemuir. Even Johnny-come-latelies like Elgin City, or Peterhead. Their football teams put them on the map. So what of today’s hosts, Albion Rovers? Does a football team put you on the map when there’s no such place?

With my own team playing tomorrow, I had a free Satdy in which to fit in one last groundhop of the season. What would be within driving distance of County Durham? I checked out the Scottish fixtures and looked up Albion Rovers. Needing a miracle (a win for them, defeat for Bonnyrigg Rose, and a goal swing of 13) to avoid finishing bottom of the entire league and a relegation play-off with Lowland League Spartans, this could be their last ever game in the Scottish League.

Where do they play? (Of course, I’m sure every Scottish football fan knows.) There’s no such place as Albion (I knew that), but what town are they in? Coatbridge! Where? Where’s Coatbridge? Somewhere within the Motherwell urban conurbation, so not quite the charming village seaside place it could have been. Capacity 1,500. Would I even get a ticket? Would the locals, knowing what was riding on it, flood the ground in one last, grand, show of support? It was busy, but I need not have worried, although the 623 attendees represented a seasonal high.

And what a gem of a ground, steeped in the past, with its awkward main stand high up from the street, with its curve at one end, a remnant of speedway and greyhounds of yore, and a covered terrace the length of the touchline, now empty and left to disrepair, opposite the main stand. Plus a sprinkling of the club colours of red and yellow (can you beat that?) and a sizeable away support from champions, Stirling Albion. I loved it!

Parking was easy, in a street behind the stadium. All turnstiles were on the high street side of the ground, with that imposing Main Stand above us. The sun shone and the crowd exuded an air of positivity. None of that misery of the spectre of relegation. I had a wander inside, checking out the club shop (sparse) before buying a programme and testing out various places to stand. As charming as the Main Stand undoubtedly is, I fancied being in the sun and unencumbered by stanchions.

I walked to the far end of the open terrace, met another groundhopper who took a few pics before being menaced by a youngster about how ‘this is for home fans’. He can’t have been more than 10. Still, they had a drum with them, which was more than enough to scare us off. I ended up standing to the left of the goal, right in the middle of the Stirling fans, resplendent in their Hawaiian shirts and carrying all manner of inflatables. Most of the chants though were aimed at a home exec in a suit who bore an uncanny resemblance to comedian Kevin Bridges, and boy, did they let him know it.

Albion put on a show too, triumphing two nil and looking anything but a side at the bottom of the table. Or were Stirling like their fans, ready for the beach? Either way, I was impressed with the home team, many of whose players looked proper athletes, and not the lower league tubsters I was half expecting. And did they avoid bottom? No. Bonnyrigg managed not to lose by 11, winning 3-0. Albion now play Spartans, winners take all, for a place in the Scottish Football League. I rather fancy returning, Barnsley FC’s play-off dates notwithstanding…

The Damage:
£14 Ent
£2.50 programme
£2.50 Scotch pie
£1 Fanta
= £20

Hebburn Town 1-1 (5-4 on pens) Spennymoor Town, Wednesday 3rd May 2023

Hebburn Town 1-1 (5-4 pens) Spennymoor Town, Durham Challenge Cup Final, Stadium of Light, att. 2,165

The non-league season is coming to a close and for most teams their season is over. This includes the National League North and Northern Premier League East, tiers 6 and 8 of the pyramid and the leagues of tonite’s opponents, Spennymoor Town and Hebburn Town. Having lost their play-off semi, it’s Hebburn’s last chance at glory, while for Spennymoor, it’s been a frustrating season. Play-off hopes, long since extinguished, were re-ignited at season’s end with a run of late form, before the fixtures ran out. Thus, Spennymoor are favourites this evening, though star forward Taylor is missing.

The Durham Challenge Cup is contested by every side in County Durham, or the traditional boundaries thereof; in other words, all the teams inbetween the Tyne and Tees. North of the Tyne is Northumberland, south of the Tees is the North Riding (Yorkshire). In theory, the competition should be a shoe-in for the likes of Sunderland, but given their superiority, they enter an Under 23 side, or, like this season, not at all. Oh well, their loss. And at least they’ve offered up their Stadium of Light for the final.

With 48,000 seats, I didn’t foresee any trouble getting a ticket….till I checked online on matchday. No cash turnstiles. Or card turnstiles for that matter. Unless you’d bought an advance ticket via Hebburn or Spenny, you had to have a Sunderland AFC ticket account and buy online. I can imagine how many Newcastle fans (for they do sadly exist in County Durham) would do that. The stadium itself was cashless, as the Durham FA programme sellers found when they went hunting for change. I’d have to come back later for a programme. ‘Maybe you’ll learn for next year?’

Only one side of the ground was open, the West Stand, and only the lower tier of that. It was more than enough. With the black and yellow of Hebburn to my left and the black and white of Spenny to my right, I sat on the halfway line a distance from anyone. As much as Spenny are my local team, there’s just something about black and white stripes I can’t altogether get along with. Still, it was probably as many of those patterned shirts as there’s ever been in Sunderland’s main stand.

I was bloody freezing. I thought summer was coming? Well, not in an evening game in Sunderland in early May, too close to the coast for comfort and a wind that somehow howled within a completely enclosed stadium. The fayre was generally poor too, with little in the way of goalmouth excitement. Spenny nicked one before half-time when Ramshaw turned in on the near post. Surely they’d now canter to victory?

Second half, I moved to be among the black and white. Like the penguins of shared colour, it was mainly for reasons of warmth. Only my determination to see full-time made me stay….and I was unrewarded with a Hebburn equaliser with 5 minutes to go. Purewal (who’d been playing for phoenix club Darlington 1883 a decade earlier in the Northern League) headed in from a corner. Did that mean extra time? I checked the programme. Why would it tell us such crucial info? Fans around me wondered the same. Thankfully, thankfully, it went to pens, Hebburn emerging victorious, just as they had in their semi final. So at least I got a penalty shootout. I always enjoy a penalty shootout. And for the first time in 31 years, the trophy was Hebburn’s. Well done The Hornets!

The Damage:
£10 Ent
£1 programme
= £11

BFC 0-3 Ipswich Town, Tuesday 25th April 2023

‘Spackmoid!!??’

Well, that was an interesting experiment on what we’d look like against a decent team without Connell playing. Say we get promotion, and sell him, is that what a home game looks like next season? I dunno. Pre-match, I stuck up for Russell as the pub gave out a collective groan upon hearing the line-up. Where’s Luca? (Illness?) For me, Russell looks a class act. And as Tuesday showed, shame he can’t run. Was it Darrell likened him to Tom Huddlestone (and not in a complimentary way)? Former England international, I added. Of course he was….played a few games for Spurs, didn’t he?

Russell’s sole contribution…and I enjoyed it, actually….was ‘racing’ back to cover after Cadden got the ball stuck under his feet and lost it. Their bloke jogged 40 yards with the ball before Russell finally almost caught up and scythed him down in our half for a booking. Honestly, it had to be done. Otherwise, I’d be likening him to Jacob BF Mellis, in that he’s obviously got skill, but doesn’t move. I think most of this is down to manager’s orders. However, there is no doubt he lacks the bite of Connell, and is incapable of bringing the ball forward. I’d say he’s a bigger version of Mitch Ward, master of the 6 yard square pass.

This is not to do down Ipswich. They are far and away the best side I’ve seen us play this season. Even when it was goalless, they looked the more likely. Such a shame then that on the cusp of half-time (and a talking to from Duff) we find time to concede not one, but two, poor goals. A corner is flicked home at the near post. How can their player POSSIBLY be unmarked? Oh, he’s Russell’s man. The look of bewilderment on the latter’s face is not a joy to behold. ‘What’s this? My man is allowed to MOVE? No-one told me that.’ On a serious note, losing a player late on affects your defensive set-up on deadballs. But it’s still criminal defending.

Then, a minute later, Mads gets into a tussle with George Hirst, son of former Red, David. The ghost of Bolton home must loomed large as Mads, no doubt scared he’ll get another sending off, allows Hirst to run on before rifling it in from 20 yards. Dad would be proud of that power. 2-0 down, the second half is a formality. The ref finds them a penalty (saved; the one bit of cheer we got) but as Ipswich start showboating, a chip over our defence has us in all kinds of trouble. Isted saves the initial toepoke before former Red Conor Chaplin completes the rout, controlling and lobbing the ball over our stranded keeper. ‘Norwich City, we’re coming for you’ rings out as Oakwell empties with ten minutes to go.

Onwards and upwards!

*** Bobby Thomas. All of these are based purely on the first half. Thomas returned to form with good defending and confident distribution.
** Kitching. The one player to run with the ball. Our left sided centre half.
* Phillips. As well as actually trying to score (he had half our first half shots) he tracked back well.

Official MOTM: Isted.

Londontykes’ MOTM: 1= Kane / Kitching 3. Bobby Thomas

Despatches:
In a must-win game, our attempts at goal were as follows (and if I’ve missed any, I was having a p***):
1. Phillips breaks from midfield and we’ve numbers in attack. With more space in front of him, he elects to drag one wide from 30 yards. This is the typical panicked shot of a team who think they’re up against a superior side. Shoot early and hope for the best.
2. Phillips again. 20 yard shot from edge of box, deflected softly into keeper’s hands.
3. A Norwood 20 yard left foot bobbler eventually reaches the keeper. Tomorrow.
4. 2nd half, Cole turns and shoots inside the box…high and wide. Rubbish.
5. Watters turns and hits one while wide left in the box. Excellent strike, but easily saved as the angle was against him.

And that was it. In a game we had to win. True, there were promising first half performances (I’d add Jordan Williams and Kane) but it’s summed up when the keeper gets MOTM for a penalty save. Did he stop any others? None that weren’t routine. Meantime, they hit 3 and had had another effort smash the bar, 1st half.

To end, we need to not let this bother us (Ipswich are, after all, going up automatic). Presumably Connell is back next game, we end well, and prepare for the play-offs, where we absolutely have to improve away from Oakwell, or we’re out. And with Bolton surprisingly losing at home to Accrington tonite, our opponents could still be any of Wanderers, (Not Wayne Rooney’s) Derby County, or Posh. I vote losing at home to Posh on the last day so we can do them in the play-offs!

Drink du jour: Jaipur in Heaven and Ale with Wolfie. He’s a beauty!

Away: 4,855. Fantastic, midweek and all. Mind, they were louder pre-match than actually during it.

Today’s take home: Without Connell in midfield, we are nothing.

The Damage:
c. £30 petrol
= £30