Tuesday, 5 March 2024

Sheffield United 0-6 Arsenal, Monday 4th March 2024

Sheffield United 0-6 Arsenal, FA Premier League, Bramall Lane, att. 29,980.
‘What’s it like to see a decent team?’ texts an Arsenal mate. I should tell him I often see a decent team – every time Man City are on telly. Tonite I’m with a mutual friend, PC Chris (and the ‘PC’ does not stand for ‘politically correct’). He’s back up home on a break due to his shift work and he wonders if I fancy a bit of Blunts v Gunners. Yeah, go on then...been a while since I’ve seen a Premiership game in the flesh.

I’m surprised there are tickets left, but it’s Monday nite, it’s on telly, the Blunts are going down...and the fans are suitably depressed. Oh, and it’s forty four quid. Forty four quid! For little hope of a result. Quietly though, I’m excited, a chance to see a game from a different part of the ground. As an away fan, I’ve spent countless occasions in that there two-tiered stand behind the Bramall Lane goal. So it comes as mild disappointment that that’s exactly where our tickets are, though at least it’s the upper tier, which has a fabulous view. The away fans these days are only given the lower tier.

All hail the view too, as 3 goals in the opening 14 minutes put the game out of reach. Can Arsenal better the 8 (eight) Newcastle put past them at Bramall Lane earlier this season? Sadly not. Nil five, half-time, the Gunners make several substitutions and settle for 6. Indeed, the battering has thousands leaving early. Still, when you have a £100m midfielder against opposition whose whole team didn’t cost that, what do you expect? ‘Best league in the world’ etc.

It’s a(nother) chastening experience for the home faithful, watching a team destined for relegation with over two months of the season left, the desperation most keenly felt by the PA announcer at half-time, exhorting the fans ‘to get behind the team...please’. Still, it was nice to see a decent team. And it was nice to see PC Chris. Commiserations.

The Damage:
£44 ent
c.£10 petrol
= c.£54

Monday, 4 March 2024

Garstang 3-2 Ashton Town, Saturday 2nd March 2024

Garstang 3-2 Ashton Town, North West Counties League 1st Division North, The Riverside, att. 388
It’s game #2 of the North West Counties League Groundhop and it’s a drive over beautiful countryside from Longridge. Being parked at Longridge Cricket Club, as opposed to right next to the football ground, means I’m one of the last (the last?) away. Even the coach carrying groundhoppers leaves before me, as it exits the cricket club and meets the passengers further up the road, towards the ground. Mind, being on this side of the ground means the satnav takes me a different route to everyone else and I get to enjoy the meanders of various B and C roads to Garstang.

Being last here, I get to park furthest away. This has potential to recur all day long...last away, furthest to park from the ground...unless I leave a game early, which I never do. I double back to Garstang’s ground, The Riverside, which is charmingly situated beside...a river. Charming, as long as it doesn’t flood. The 1st turnstiles are for ticket holders only, but a helpful steward points me towards the other end, towards the river. Even better, unlike Longridge, there’s still programmes to be had.

The editorial in the programme is full of zest about being part of the Groundhop. ‘It’ll be nice to play in front of a crowd’ opines the writer, honestly. Garstang, normal crowds in two figures, get 388 today. The power of the Groundhop! Their next best is 122. Today, The Stang play host to Ashton United. Surely not ANOTHER team from Ashton-Under-Lyne? No, a cursory Google search finds they’re from Ashton-in-Makerfield (where?) Somewhere near Wigan, apparently. They’re right in the play-off mix and start as favourites against a Garstang side near the relegation spots.

Resolutely unsuccessful since 1885, The Stang don’t even have a stand to speak of. Don’t they have ground standards in the North West Counties? Turns out they had a small stand up till 2006, when it was taken down due to vandalism. Why do people do this kind of thing? At the river end there’s a small wooden structure with a corrugated plastic roof, containing a couple of rows of benches. There you go, covered seating for maybe 30 people. There’s another similar structure towards the other river end corner flag, the only other covering in the ground, save for the dugouts. A disappointed trickle of groundhoppers walk this far and find the 4th side is inaccessible. A perimeter fence divides the football and cricket pitches.

Opposite the cricket pitch side is some small banking which oddly curves around the dugouts and gives the place some uniqueness. Behind the far goal is the social club, which I never go into cos there’s a food and drink stall nearby where I can keep an eye on the game whilst ordering. It is packed early doors though as those groundhoppers have become hungry again as breakfast subsides. I walk around the curve, which is well populated, to the far end and take a perch and get chatting to groundhoppers who’re ostensibly Sheffield Wednesday and Hearts fans. One of the latter has only come down for this game ‘cos I’ve been to the other 3’ (groundhop grounds today). A long way to come for 10th tier action, but the appeal of a crowd isn’t solely the jurisdiction of the programme editor.

It’s a cracking game and, like Longridge, finishes 3-2. This time it’s the hosts who win, racing 3-0 up by the 50th minute before a couple of goals midway through the second half brings a siege of The Stang goal, not helped when a home player is also sent off. Somehow, they hang on. There’s no rush to leave this time though. An announcement during the game ‘to all the groundhoppers’. The match at Squires Gate is off. That means the 4th match, a 7:45pm kick-off at AFC Blackpool, gives me 4 hours to hang around for a game which will take me over an hour to get home from. I decide to give it a miss and earn brownie points off my partner for going home and watching Gladiators. Good job too – AFC Blackpool was postponed as well!

The Damage:
£7 ent (£6 but he didn’t have enough change)
£3 programme
£4.50 burger
= £14.50

Sunday, 3 March 2024

Longridge Town 2-3 Padiham, Saturday 2nd March 2024

Longridge Town 2-3 Padiham, North West Counties League Premier Division, The Recycling Lives Ground, att. 483
It is the annual North West Counties League Groundhop weekend, and 7 games have been arranged, from Friday nite through to Sunday afternoon (along with the rest having their usual 3pm KO). Today, Satdy, there are 4 games, at Longridge, Garstang, Squires Gate and AFC Blackpool, kick-offs 11am, 2pm, 5pm and 7:45pm. It’s gonna be a long day, but how often does one get chance to attend 4 games in a day? (Never, thus far.)

I’d never even heard of Longridge. Wasn’t that a car factory in Birmingham? Or was that Longbridge? I set the satnav and enjoy a pleasant journey in the Pennine rain to somewhere near Preston. Indeed, the organisers have made it easier by choosing a couple of games Preston way, followed by a couple in Blackpool, just down the road.

Longridge Town were formed relatively recently, in 1996. No wonder I’ve never heard of them. Developments are going faster than they can keep up, if the photo of their ground on their website is anything to go by – there’s now a small covered stand to the left of one goal that wasn’t there in the photo. And what with the rain, this is the most populated part of the ground today, as groundhoppers penguin up together. I take up a pew here second half, as I’m determined to experience the rest of The Recycling Lives Ground.

I queue up at the one entrance and admire the boxes of ready-made packs of programmes (in a plastic covering, of course) for those groundhoppers who’ve signed up to all 7 games. As warned, if I didn’t order in advance, there’s a good chance programmes will sell out. They have, and I’ve missed out. Oh well.

I enter virtually on the halfway line. There’s a small main stand to my left, in front of the clubhouse. In fact, all the buildings are to my left. The other side of the main stand is another small covering for standing spectators, set some way back from the touchline, while inbetween the left corner flag and the goal is a new cantilevered stand with 4 rows of metal terracing. I head right, where the ground lies completely open on 2 and a half sides. I’m not the only one who walks around, past the goal, only to find the far side (where the dugouts are) is out of bounds. A pity. But at least I can keep an eye on my car, parked in the distance.

The 1st half is a cracker. Lowly Longridge, just outside the relegation zone, are hosting predatory Padiham (it’s the best alliteration I could manage!), on the edge of the play-off zone. It’s end to end, 1-0, 1-2, 2-2...both teams putting on a show for the tourists. I only interrupt my own proceedings for some refreshment. I’m hungry, and what’s this? Pea and ham soup in the clubhouse? Yes please. It is so thick and filling, with some monstrous pieces of roast ham in there. Beautiful.

The second half, by contrast, is disappointing. I spend much of the second half eavesdropping on other groundhoppers’ conversations, and musing over the next game. I’m parked at the cricket club, half a mile away. Last here means I’ll problies be last away, which means I’ll be parked furthest away at Garstang…I see how these things work. With 10 mins left, Padiham score a blinder to win it, and I head towards the exit. I’m not leaving before full-time, but I’m well positioned for a quick getaway. As are 150 others. Do all groundhoppers think alike, I wonder?

The Damage:
£7 ent
£3 pea and ham soup
= £10
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