Rob Cross 7-2 Phil Power, Monday 1st January 2018

‘The record breaking, history making, 16 time champion of the world…’

Welcome to....

Who says I don’t make sacrifices?  Year on year my partner and I watch the darts from Ally Pally on telly…and year on year we say ‘we should get tickets’…and year on year they’re sold out (cos we don’t get our ar5es into gear sooner).  So when I heard the sister of a mate had all kind of tubes hanging out of her and couldn’t therefore make the darts final she had tickets for…of course I’d step in.  Even if it did mean missing the Super Reds (Barnsley) at Sunderland on New Years Day, and a trip home.  Not to worry, I’d had my dad down for Xmas…

Feeling guilty...the sis is a bit of a superfan!

The darts had to be done.  This wasn’t any final, it was likely to involve the biggest legend the game has ever produced, Phil ‘The Power’ Taylor and, provided he won his semi (he did), it would be the final game of his professional career.  You couldn’t script it.  At Xmas, as my partner guessed what ‘surprise’ I’d organised, darts was one guess, a Michellin-starred meal another, and the Crystal Maze experience a 3^rd (‘but you’re problies not organised enough’).  I was – it was the Crystal Maze, but I knew darts would (double) top it.

Fans outside Alexandra Palace

I should say, I was expecting to see plenty of folk in fancy dress on the way there.  In actuality, we never saw anyone till Finsbury Park, and even then it was a group of Austrians.  (Austrians?)  I think most people either drove to Alexandra Palace or walked up the hill from the railway station.   Still, we were early, wanting to enjoy the build up.  Doors opened at 6:15 and we were there for half six.  Good job too, as the queue crawled forwards.  I don’t think the broken turnstiles helped.  A small group of lads practiced their chanting while everyone else huddled together to keep out the cold.
Once in, it was beer token time.  At least you got to speak to a human (as opposed to a nonsensical machine) and drinks’ prices were on handouts, and quick calculations made.  Of course, it’s difficult to know how many beers you’re going to drink when you don’t know how long the match will last.  One of us would have to take it easy too – work tomorrow.  Thankfully that wasn’t me.

Entering the main hall...

You enter via the main hall…which is where I thought the tournament was held.  After all, it looks HUGE on telly, but actually, the match was in a smaller hall to the side.  Inside the darts arena, the centre, or floor area, held the tables, while the outside held about 10 rows of seats.  We were in the 4^th row back, excellent seats as they held a decent view and offered a quick exit for beers and toilets.  I’d sunk one beer (I say beer…it was Strongbow; in a throwback to my teens, I couldn’t possibly imbibe Fosters or whatever the token bitter was…John Smiths?)  I was surprised how much I enjoyed it.

In front of the PDC battlebus.

It was 8:15 and the time had come…the players’ walk on.  The lower ranked Rob Cross came out 1^st, to Hot Hot Hot (by Arrow, Wikipedia tells me).  Terrible.  I guess every other song had been taken.  But you need a counterpoint to Phil ‘the Power’s’ trademark entrance…’The Power’ by Snap.  Takes me back.  But mixed with the lighting and sound effects, makes for one of the world’s great sporting entrances.  Nevermind the crowd joining in…’The record breaking, history making, 16 time champion of the world…Phil ‘The Power’ Taylor’.  The hairs on my arm were on end.  And yet some of my mates think darts is s***.  Unbelievable.

After a few practice throws, we were into the action.  The crowd were right behind Taylor.  I felt a little sorry for Rob Cross, a lion to the slaughter.  I couldn’t make out a chant for him.  But, having beaten world number one Michael Van Gerwen, he wasn’t phased and took an early lead.  The Power meantime was acting the clown, pulling faces at fans and laughing and joking.  If he was trying to psyche out Cross, it didn’t work.  Was Taylor the one feeling the pressure?  At 3-0 in sets (1^st to 7) Cross didn’t look like he had a mistake in him. Phil pulled one back.

The players are on stage.

Then came the highlight of the match.  Phil, a world record holder in televised nine-dart finishes (but amazingly not one at the world championships) gave himself the chance: 8 perfect darts and only double 12 needed.  Sadly, the width of the wire prevented history, though his subsequent collapse (missing 3 further doubles) to lose the leg was the sign the match was out of reach.  Judging by the subdued atmosphere, everyone knew.  There was no ‘Kolo/Yaya Toure’ and only sporadic ‘Stand up if you love the darts’ and ‘Boring boring tables’.  Watching the demise of the greatest was a painful thing.  Did Phil pull a set back at 5-1 or 6-1? I forget.  It was asking the impossible now.  Cross looked cool as you like, outscoring Phil in both averages and doubles ratios.  In fact, I was quite surprised Taylor’s average was so high (102.26) cos Cross was wiping the floor with him (averaging 107.67, the 2^nd highest of the tournament, quite an achievement when the final is over more sets).
So there it was.  Cross cantered to victory, yet the crowd continued to chant Phil’s name, only turning to Cross once Phil’s moment in the after match ceremony was over.  Cross took it like a gentleman, recognising a legend and wanting Phil to share the trophy on stage.  A class act.

The King is dead.  Long live the King!

And at least there was a round of the Toure song at the end. My partner couldn't have forgiven the crowd if not given the chance to join in that one.

The Damage:
£50 ent
£30 Strongbow (6 pints)
£5 prog
= £85

The Champ basks in his glory.

Panorama during the game

After match panorama

The pundits' studio

Add caption

The match is about to start.

Phil, interviewed after.

The champ awaits his trophy.

Typical darts' attire.

ps, the Super Reds won at Sunderland.  YOOOUUUUU REDS!!!!!!!!!

BFC 1-1 Reading, Saturday 30th December 2017

‘They crucified Jesus.  And that turned out alright.’

Be Proud!

Voice of doom here.  I don’t know what everyone’s on about, all this ‘played well, shoulda won’ nonsense.  It was yet another game where we never looked like scoring – and didn’t, till the ball fell to a defender who headed home in injury time.  Yes, Thiam ran about a bit and looked lively.  Like one of his subs performances, but this time for 70 minutes.  But did he ever look like he would bag?  No.  So Hecky took him off in a three-pronged substitution and received boos for his decision-making. The same decision-making which took us from losing to drawing.  Proof indeed that some of the crowd are turning against Hecky?  I mean, I’ve not heard it from any of the LONDON Londontykes, but Wadd, Molly, and, to a lesser extent, Nozzer, have all been uttering anti-Hecky jibes while turning Little Lee into a managerial god.  Talk about a Stalinist re-writing of history.

424 away fans.  Did I hear right?

One thing we can all agree is that Ugbo isn’t the answer.  Though as has been pointed out, one of the three (I thought it was two!) touches he had in his 25 minutes involved nipping in front of Mannone and clipping a goalbound header over him which a defender cleared.  This was as close as ANY of our attacking players came to scoring and for that, I salute him.  He made the right run and got his head to the ball.  As for our other 6 shots on target (the stats tell me) I have no idea where they came from. If you’d said 3, I’d have said that was more like.  But when one of them surely includes Mannone tipping over a shot which was going over anyway…

The view from the Ponty...for a change.

Actually, I do remember one decent bit of link up play between Thiam and Bradshaw which ended up with a good shooting opportunity, Bradshaw testing the keeper.  But you know when the crowd have lost hope: even when we had 2 corners at 0-1, there was no chant from the Ponty of ‘Come on you Reds’. They were met with shrugs.  The team deserve better.  (Support did come, as we threw men forward late on.)

The old Main Stand at half time.

The problem was, we’d seen it all before. A side had come to Oakwell looking to secure a goalless draw and had somehow found themselves winning.  Howthehell does this happen? Well, today Matthew, a 40 yard cross from their left was headed in from 4 yards out by a disbelieving centre forward.  Where was Davies?  Still stood on his line, watching it.  Now, I like Davies, but his shot stopping hasn’t been great this season and his ability on crosses has never been there.  Surely time to bring in someone who will challenge him for his position, rather than a bloke who couldn’t get a game in the Conference.

The Ponty v Reading.

At least the crowd didn’t leave this time, or at least very few did.  But that was probably due to the new game show in town: see how long it takes before Ugbo touches the ball.  I know they were playing it around me in the Ponty, and it was the talk of the pub later. 25 minutes for maybe 3 touches.  No wonder everyone thought Thiam was amazing.  At least he could occasionally hold onto the ball.  Can Ugbo REALLY be the finest 18 year old centre forward in the land?  I’d weep for England’s chances, if only I could give a s***.  It’s like that Arsenal loanee we had in division 3, ‘the best 17 year old in the land’.  Last seen being sent packing from another loan spell with Oxford.  I forget his name, such was his amazingness.  Well, yeah, Uggboot’s like him.  Though Uggy did play well at Spurs, so perhaps, a la Odejayi, his real level is the Premiership!

The East Stand.

Fortunately, with time running out, Pinnock (and half the team) were pushed forward…and we scored.  Do you think there’s a correlation there somewhere?  Isgrove (on as sub; thank you Lord Hecky) whipped in a super ball and Pinnock crashed home a great header into the opposite corner.  Unstoppable.  Cue big hugs from Jonesy and jumping around like loons.  Well, you have to make the most of these things, 1^st home goal in 5 matches.

So, yeah, the game was slightly less s*** than usual…cos we scored…but it was still s***.  The pronounced opinion was that Reading are a poor team – a poor team we failed to beat (and wiped the floor with us at their place, where I can confirm they looked a poor team there as well).  We are in big BIG trouble and as things stand, I think we’re going down.  It was good to hear pre-match that no-one shares my opinion (do they ever?) but given the disconnect between our view of Hecky, I can only think that some people imagine the only way out of this is to find a new manager.  As Wadd told me in the pub ‘our new owners won’t let us go down’.  I’m not sure this is how promotion/relegation works, but I live in hope.  We are now one point above relegation and a mere 3 above bottom.  Permission to panic, Captain Mainwaring?

Onwards and upwards!

The away end.  Does it look any closer to 424?

*** Pinnock.  Twitter MOTM. I thought he had an excellent game at centre half and the goal was the cherry on the icing.
** Thiam.  Ran around for longer than usual looking keen.
* Hammill.  Some fabulous delivery, particular in the 1^st half – met by nobody.  (File under: why Thiam isn’t good enough.)

Londontykes' MOTM: 1. Pinnock  2. Thiam  3. Hammill

Despatches:
In a change to the programme, my plans were completely thrown pre-match.. Slacki’s sister had tickets to the darts final on New Years Day and couldn’t make it, so, having banged on about the darts on the train up, here was my chance.  Cue tickets bought, one very happy partner, Sunderland away cancelled, no visit back home and quick deliberations on whether to get smashed with the Londontykes on the train back after the game….or get smashed ‘in tarn’ with the Slackmeister.  The latter it was.  I still can’t decide if I regret it (see later).  I know I gave away my ear muffs to the cute girl behind the counter in Greggs in the early hours…
Then it was back to the pub for too many pints before I was taken to top Barnsley gentleman’s emporium ‘Wildcats’ where entrance was free (cos no-one had any money to be out between Xmas and New Year?) and Carling was £3.50.  Slacki and I have decided this is our new drinking hole of choice.

Our players?  Barnes showed flashes of his earlier brilliance for us.  Fryers had a dodgy start, letting a player run past him for a cheap shot.  Yiadomlooked good, but was injured as Reading crossed from his side for their goal.  (I later learnt this was Hecky’s fault too, for not subbing him before the goal.  Then it turned into the physio’s fault for not getting him off sooner.  I’m exasperated.)  Williams had his usual game (and Jonesy can now concur he does lose the ball cheaply at times, cos there was more than one occasion where I said ‘who gave that away?’ before following the man to find out it was Williams.)  I have to say though, he did put some decent balls out wide.  Bradshaw was half decent, and linked up better with Thiam today.  Gardnerwas…I dunno.  Didn’t do much wrong, didn’t do much full stop.  Kept possession?  Lindsay kept it tight, while Davies didn’t.  And when Davies loses his confidence, the first thing that goes is his kicking.  So after conceding, one of his hoofs went straight out for a throw…which gets fans on his back, which makes him lose more confidence…etc

Where it all began...steps into the Ponty end.

Drink du jour: 
Arcade Ale House: Sierra Nevada 7.2%, Rhubarb cider, some bottled IPA or other
Old #7: Erdinger
Wildcats: Carling

Me and and my erstwhile buddy got in a terrible, terrible drink-induced mess.  We blame our Barnsley-based acquaintances for leaving us by 8pm.  At least Hicksy and his Mrs stayed out – and they don’t even live in Barnsley.

Away: 424.  Allegedly.  (There must have been a helluva lot under the stand, cos there were never 424 in it.)

The Damage:
£12 train from London
£12 train to Durham (which I obviously didn’t get)
£36 train from Durham to London (ditto)
= £60

The Tunes:
Days Are Gone (Haim)

Did I say I’m off to the darts final??? WOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1st half panorama v Reading.

Half time panorama from the back of the Ponty.

Fulham 2-1 BFC, Saturday 23rd December 2017

‘We’re richer than you, we’re richer than you, we’re Barnsley FC, we’re richer than you.’

Welcome to ....

This is novel. We’re in Fulham, West London, and all I can hear are Barnsley fans chanting about being richer than them.  Must be the Billy Beane / Chinese / American consortium effect..  ‘We’ve got Billy Beane, Billy Beane…la la la la la la la la’.  Let the good times roll!

Optimism wasn’t high pre-match (unless you’re Andy ‘Bradshaw to get two’ Jones) but who cares?  We were in the White Horse, Parson’s Green, and they’ve Pilsner Urquell unpasteurised in the vat.  I’ll take 3.  I’d take more, but I have a match to attend.  The athletes (Reedy, Rock ‘n’ Roll Jim, me) elect to walk the 20 odd minutes, the rest get ubers.  What is it with the youth of today?  One of the glories of Fulham and Craven Cottage is the walk.  Where else in London do you get a park to walk through and glimpses of the Thames?  Have you ever been to Tottenham?

The pre-match hullabaloo.

Numbers were unsurprisingly down on last season’s incredible 1800. Christmas doesn’t help, and neither does two points in seven games.  I cannot remember the last time we looked like scoring in open play and surely only a miracle will prevent me picking up mountains of moolah after Bradshaw’s latest failure.  Whothehell would bet he’d score a dozen before Xmas?

Putney End...neutrals and away fans alike.

The Fulham boys won’t let us put our flag up (no fire safety certificate) but at least we can stand up and generate an atmosphere. And it was very lively early doors, till we realised the Fulham fans weren’t offering anything and ditto the Barnsley attack.  The game was generally spent in and around our box, though Moncur spurned the best opportunity, ghosting in to sidefoot a volley over at the far end.  Their keeper also came out and messed up and if Barnes had a right foot, surely he’d have lifted it over him into an empty net.  He didn’t.

The teams come out.

Nil-nil at half time, but it takes less than 10 minutes of the 2^nd half to concede one of our trademark goals: the cut inside and drill home from 20 odd yards.  Along with the backpost header, we must let in more of these goals than any other team in the world.  It’s a decent strike, too, bottom corner, but why don’t we score these goals?  Oh yes, we need a player who can hit a ball from this range.  At least it’s not Williams who’s being waltzed around this time, it’s defensive lynchpin Moncur.  Who will rid us of this turbulent believer in priests?

Must be Christmas..the 3 wise men are here.

By now, ‘Last Christmas’ is banging around the away end and the Fulham goal does nought for it to subside.  It must have gone on for 15-20 minutes without respite.  Then Hecky brings on Isgrove (welcome back!) and Hammill on either wing, the former looking especially dangerous merely by running about and being keen.  Both are a vast improvement on Thiam (another failure when on from start) and Moncur.  Who will rid us….etc

The view from the Exec boxes.

Still, it comes as some surprise when the Super Reds do equalise, Yiadom playing in a peach of a long cross for Bradshaw to sneak in and head home.  THE MAN!!!!!!!!!!!  I did say I was hoping he’d bag one, if only to make the bet interesting.  In the next few minutes Bradders furthermore narrowly fails in a scramble, while he drags a 20 yarder wide with his left, with others in more promising positions.  The match is now truly on, or at least till Fulham put a cross in from the right…and it flies over Davies and into the net. Jammy f***ing ba5tards.  But why was Davies on the front post?  Another entirely avoidable goal and despite Isgrove’s best efforts, we never really threaten again.  Time to get to the pub, claim my £30 of winnings…then spend £40 on a round.  A victory of sorts, then….

*** Lindsay.  Won everything in the middle, broke up play. 
** Pinnock.  Good partnership with Lindsay and a couple of crucial blocks.
* Yiadom.  Back to form – in time to engineer a move in the January transfer window.

Onwards and upwards!

Looking towards the Hammersmith End.

Despatches:
Isgrove was unlucky not to be top 3, outstanding.  Hopefully he’ll be in the starting XI soon.  Otherwise, we’re nothing if Barnes isn’t on it, and he hasn’t been for weeks.  McCarthy didn’t have a great game.  The more fans sing about how he never loses the ball….the more he loses the ball.  Can we just bin this s*** chant?  I’d be tempted to bin Thiam and Ugbo too.  Will Thiam EVER score a goal in open play?  The less said about the latter the better.  The future of England my front bottom.  And don’t point out to Loko how Williams loses the ball, or you might see how Loko loses his temper.  Thankfully Reedy did it for me.  ‘BUT HE’S ONLY LOST IT TWICE!!!!’ screamed Loko, proving he’s at least one short of fingers (and that was just the 1^st half).

On the plus side, we’re now only two points above relegation and yours truly has £20 wagered on us going down.  Last week the pre-match vote in the pub was 10-1 in favour of us staying up. Let’s see what it is by New Year’s Day…

The cottage, bedecked in Xmas lights.

Drink du jour: Pilsner Urquell unpasteurised, Big Wave IPA, Pilsner Urquell unpasteurised.  I reckon me and Reedy made double figures, Satdy.  And about two-thirds the way through that number I had Alison hectoring me for daring to be part of the home-homing fraternity.  Seems I’m not allowed to hold left wing views if I own a house!  Too right! 

Away: c600.  Best atmosphere of the season, incredible.

The Damage:
£20 ent
£3.50 programme
= £23.50

The Tunes:
A Deeper Understanding (The War on Drugs)
Let Them Eat Chaos (Kate Tempest)
It’s Album Time (Todd Terje)
The Far Field (Future Islands)

Fulham v Barnsley panorama.

The Riverside Stand.

Pilsner Urquell unpasteurised.  The amber nectar.

Darkness descends on Barnsley's chances.

Alison's fabulous (free) Xmas jumper, courtesy of #1 son.

Brentford 0-0 BFC, Saturday 16th December 2017

‘One good thing.  When we’re 3 down at half time, there’s no shortage of pubs we can go to.’

Nice touch....Xmas at Waterloo Station ticket office.

HOLD THE FRONT PAGE!  The rot has stopped.  After 5 defeats in a row the Super Reds finally scrape a point!  And scrape we did, an outstanding performance from the centre halves and keeper restricting Brentford’s first half dominance from burying us alive.  Then, with our tails up 2^nd half, we had Moncur pulling the strings for 20 minutes and we very nearly pinched it when Barnes sent in a low cross and Bradshaw cleared the bar.  A difficult chance, but a chance nonetheless.  I don’t think the sheeting rain helped, but it was nice to see what we COULD do. What we USED to do, before Barnes lost all his form (Bradshaw has remained consistent).

Welcome to ...

After a couple of errands in the morning, I rocked up to Waterloo to narrowly miss one train and have the next one cancelled.  Great. Meant I had to hang out with the Slacks and Nice Guy Chris.  It was lovely really.  I’ve never seen Ian moan at young Jake before,but like every other teenager in the land, Jake is perennially hungry (greedy)…though giving him a tenner to go and get something seemed extraordinarily generous.  Needless to say the tykester came back with A Burger King meal.  

The Royal Oak...re-open for business (back to a pub on all 4 corners).

We encamped to the Griffin.  Why change a winning habit after last year’s 2-0?  I think the highlight was when Reedy came back from the bar with about 8 beers and upon dishing them out I heard ‘oh, Allan didn’t want one.’  Did I not? Woulda been nice to have been asked.  Ian got one, and I was at exactly the same stage of pint he was.  Duly noted, I got up, waded through the crowd, bought my own beer and then chatted on to a couple of Brentford at the bar who were discussing who they wanted to see relegated from the Prem.  ‘I tell ya who I’d like to see go down’, I said.  ‘It’s be great to see West Ham get relegated and the Olympic Stadium in the Championship.’  Cue a very (very) dirty look from one, and a quick ‘oh, he’s West Ham’ from the other.  Well, I was only saying…

Merry Xmas...(I missed the teams coming out).

Of course, everyone loves Griffin Park, with the pub about 50 yards from the turnstiles.  So make the most of it, they plan to be out within 2 years.  In disseminating their plans in the programme, Brentford also admitted they had a problem on where to house the club offices, since there wouldn’t be room at the new stadium.  WTF?  They can build a 20,000 ground, and quite a few houses to boot, but yet not find room for a couple of offices?  I am confused.  I think they need a better architect.

They don't build overhangs like this anymore.  Cosy.

We cosied up behind the goal, ready for the expected onslaught.  And it came.  It’s great when all the action’s at your end.  Davies smothered one when clean through, while a shot which was going in was blocked by Lindsay.  The midfield, containing Gardner (‘he’s not even a good gardner!’) and Moncur lived up to its pre-match billing: woeful.  Nevermind the front 2, Thiam and Bradshaw.  Have they actually played well in a game in which they’re STARTED together?  Cos if they have, I can’t remember it.  I don’t know what’s worse: Bradshaw on his own up top or the pair of them together.  No need to worry, we’ve got Ugbo on the bench.  ‘I’d pack him off an’ all’ said one Reds fan I overheard.  I concur.

A busy looking Bill Axbey Stand.

So, we scraped to half time despite not having had a kick of the ball.  I lost count of how many times I heard ‘we’re not gonna hold out’ but the quota increased when I stood next to Nozzer 2^nd half.  At least I was stillin range of Loko going apoplectic at Moncur every time he went near the ball.  All good fun!  At least you could see Moncur (it must be that stupid top knot – would God approve?).  Gardner shuffles about aimlessly.  Actually, while I think on – is this the 1^st point for a Barnsley midfield containing Gardner?  Hecky: you’ve won your bet.  You don’t have to play him anymore.

A rare 1st half foray into Brentford's half.

The rain then seriously started coming down.  A time for big strong northerners to show their mettle.  Step forward Super Georgie Moncur, running things from wide midfield.  (Hammill is officially now 3^rd at best in the wing pecking order behind Potts and Moncur.)  Flashes of skill, laying balls off, keeping possession.  What a shame that when he actually could have done some damage, he completely miscontrolled a long ball which could have sent him clean through.  Oh well.  At least we’d recovered some sense of pride amongst the team and support.  But hang on, there’s still time for Brentford to cut inside from the left and unleash a shot which arrowed towards the far bottom corner – only for Davies to tip it around the post.  A fitting end to a super performance from Davies.  Let’s hope it continues.

Is that us nearly nicking it?

*** Davies.  Saved everything, caught everything (in the rain!) and kicked everything onto the pitch.  A job well done. 
** Lindsay.  A key reason why, for all Brentford’s possession, they had few decent efforts on target
* Pearson.  As above.  Only last 50 minutes, but it was the toughest 50 minutes.

Londontykes MOTM:  1. Lindsay  2. Davies  3. Pearson

Despatches:
Having a lowish view, I can’t say I was an expert on every performance, but I could see McCarthy was showing the winger too much on his outside, though at least Yiadom’s defending was an improvement on lately.  I can’t say we ever looked like scoring and, barring a miracle (Bradshaw scoring 2 next week at Fulham) I am in the money.  Still, it is the time the little baby Jesus was conceived by the Virgin Mary and Gabriel’s mate, the Big G, so’s all not lost yet.

Onwards and upwards!

Drink du jour: Pioneer lager.  Average.  Then Weihenstephaner at the Waterloo Tap.  Above average.  Home in time for the Strictly result.  Joy.

Away: c900.  Good atmosphere, before another terrace bites the dust.  Let’s hope we play here next year.  (Hang on though, I’ve only gone and bet 20 quid we’ll go down.  Oh dear.)

The Damage:
£20 ent
£3.50 prog
= £23.50

The Tunes:
Ghetto Style (Gil Scott Heron)
Cypress Hill III Temples of Boom (Cypress Hill)

Griffin Park panorama

Davies about to launch it.

Danish Bees.

Half time ents, Xmas-style.

Back of the away end.

'Maximum price £20.00'