Karlsruher SC 0-0 St. Pauli, Saturday 27th July 2013

Karlsruher SC 0-0 St. Pauli, Bundesliga 2.  

The Schloss and gardens.

A lively start at the railway station as Stuttgarter Kickers fans attempt to live up to their name. Changing trains at Karlsruhe (they're off to Wehen Wisebaden) there's a few exchanges with St. Pauli fans.  Who starts it? Kickers with their 'St. Pauli scheisse!' or the St. Pauli fan who threw a plastic glass full of liquid?  To be followed by the usual rigmarole: 1 or 2 hotheads from either side gesticulating alot, whatever the German is for 'Come and have a go if you think you're hard enough', before 4 or 5 police appear and position themselves between the fans. Said hotheads then either get too close to the police, before backing off, or make a real show of going berserk, knowing that their mates will drag them back from the brink to ensure a) they don't get arrested or b) they don't kill everyone in their path (cos that's how terrifying they are).  The train comes and the skirmishes peter out, while the police keep a low key approach, merely shepherding the most vociferous away from the group.

Just follow him!

I did note though one older cop, 'tache and all, really looking vexed as he hunted a St. Pauli fan who'd annoyed him.  I think the guy lost him by taking off his sunhat (I certainly couldn't recognise him thereafter).  Now, I'd seen this guy previously and, if anything, he was secondary, not mouthy, behind the front line...but I think he had the main Kickers knobhead in sight, as he edged left or right depending on where the Kickers fan was.  Was he the 'dangerman'?  Either way, the police made no move to arrest the Kickers loudmouth. Too much paperwork? Another undercover guy joined in the action, putting on a sexy green armband to show which team he was playing for that day.

Tha' she blows!

There followed another beautiful walk to a stadium, once you've reached the Schloss that is (and there's plenty of signs for it; it's Karlsruhe's architectural, historical and literal centrepiece - the whole city was planned around it).  Walk around the castle, through the Schlossgarten (always making sure there's a Karlsruher fan to follow!) and somewhere through the density of forest there lies a football stadium, high atop a hill. No wonder it's called 'Wildparkstadion'.

Welcome to .....on .... for the match against ....

Upon arrival I decide to find the away end.  However, once found, there is no discernible ticket booth. So I carry on my clockwise quest of the stadium, nick through some shrubbery and find the most obscure entrance to the ground.  The ticket guy spends a few seconds explaining that my €11 ticket costs €12.  I have no idea why. (Did they overprint last season?)  Still, I'm in.  And there's a fair smattering of St. Pauli fans around too.

Yes, it's HOT.

The match must have been the most pedestrian I've ever seen.  For a second season in a row I see St. Pauli open their away account with a goalless draw.  This one was nailed on.  From the start, I was sweating - and I was stood in the shade.  So it was no wonder the players weren't so keen to run about.  A simple 'give and go' became a 'give'.  Now here's a thing: if football was invented to give cricketers summink to do when the weather turns foul, here's why you shouldn't have summer football.  90 minutes and zero shots of note save for a KSC forward missing an open goal as he couldn't direct a ball slightly behind him.  I scored this exact goal a fortnight ago (in 5 aside).

Fans getting a hosing.  Yes, it's THAT hot.

Aside from the 'furter and beer, the cleverest thing I did all match was find a toilet (at the other end of the stadium!!!) to take off my shirt and drench it in water from the tap.  ANYTHING to keep cool. Inside the stadium, and I've never seen this before, the groundstaff were hosing down the fans.  (A ho(s)e down?)  It must have been awful on the main home terrace, which was packed and in the sun.

What shade there was ...

The stroll back through the forest encircled some medieval fair or other ('Mittelalterlich Phantasie Spectaculum').  Men (it was usually men) threw axes at the target of a bear while in the distance a rock act played with the hindrance of bagpipes.  Awful.  (I think they were called 'Rapalje'.)  Anyway, if you've heard one krautrock act with bagpipes, I guess you've heard them all.  'Celtic folk' I think the advert said.  One to avoid in future methinks.

Axe throwing.  Typical day in Karlruhe.

I've also now lost 2 sunhats in 2 days.  They're the new sunglasses.  I think this latest one is somewhere in the schlossgarten, where I laid out to watch the axe throwing while listening to 'Celtic folk'.  You can understand how easy it was to be distracted.  One doesn't come across this stuff much these days.

Attendance: 17,667 (Wildparkstadion)

The Damage: 
€12 ent
€1 programme

Tunes:
The Orb

Ticket booths at the home end.

Pre-match hunting of shade.

St. Pauli corner.  Packed.

Main stand angles.

Main Stand roof dwarfing the rest of the stadium.

The most predictable result ever.

Looking out over the scoreboard end.

The home terrace.  I dread to think how hot they were.

The old stand.

A tall floodlight on top of a tall hill.  Tall.

Karlsruhe's motte and bailey castle.

Karlruher SC team coach

Steps up to home end

View from the home end (after the match).