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| The away turnstiles. I'll not be using these today! |
I can count on the fingers of one finger the number of times I've been in the exec for an away match - today. So cheers to Isy (sp?) and his contacts. There were only 3 rules: 'Collars, shoes and no cocks out.' Make mental note not to forget the 'no' bit. Today was all about seeing how the other half lives!
I have a disastrous start to my day as I 'lose' my Euston to Manchester ticket. I am adamant I picked up all the tickets from the machine. One of the tickets even says '4 vouchers'...and I have 4 (turns out it should be 5, including the receipt. WTF!?) Anyway, ticket office woman says I can buy a new ticket. I politely decline the offer and I think she perceived by my rage that perhaps I hadn't handed on the ticket to someone else and was trying to 'chance it'. THEN she tells me 'oh yeah, this happens about 15 times every 20 minutes' (very specific). So, I'm on a train 40 mins late, valuable exec drinking time. No need to worry - Oldham Athletic don't open till 1pm. Just meet the lads in a Manchester boozer and there'll be a Stella waiting at the bar. Classy.
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| SportsDirect.com Park main entrance |
Course, this being a beano, there'll be none of that public transport to Oldham. It's taxis all the way. I'm liking this. Turn into a housing estate, then a car park, and it turns out we're at the SportsDirect.com Park. I kid you not. Still, if it's good enough for Newcastle...
The exec suite is a box like structure squeezed into a small area by the touchline. Maybe 3 boxes with a dining area consisting of 5 tables big enough for 10 folk each. Still, there's a bar and fair play to Oldham, making the best of the space available. (Their new stand looks like it'll have exec boxes galore.)
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| Yes boss! |
Pre-match, the man with the mic brings us a couple of Oldham players who won't be making the game today. I recognise one of them...why, it's only Jacob 'Ba5tard F***ing' Mellis, attacking midfield maestro and prime architect of last season's BFC relegation. Jonesy refuses to turn around, keeping his back to him and I manage to contain my anger till he's leaving. 'LAZY BA5TARD!' I'm sorry, I forget I'm a guest. (Note to future corporate treatees; rule number 4: no shouting at random players in the exec suite.)
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| Jacob BF Mellis. Injured. (Handy) |
We herd into our box, we're sharing, but that's fine. All the rough lads belong in our set. There's a couple of Oldham fans in there but it mainly seems to be full of the local knitting circle. They don't return after half time. To be fair, most of ours don't either. With a fair portion of Ipswich supporting lads unused to lower division footie, the call of lager and chat was infinitely more appealing. (We'll not mention we'd already seen how good Ipswich are, tonked 4-1 by Boro in Sky's lunchtime game.)
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| My nosebag. |
For them wot wonder these things, the pre-match tucker was mushroom soup (uuuurgh), followed by meat and 4 veg. When was the last time I've eaten cauliflower? When's the last time any of YOU have eaten cauliflower? (And I don't mean 'cauliflower cheese', I mean actual, real-life, boiled cauliflower). Dessert was profiteroles. My swap of earlier soup for an extra portion of these sweet treats was the deal of the day as far as I'm concerned. Bootiful. Really really bootiful.
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| The Super Reds..errr Yellows. Why? |
For 30 minutes this match was dross of the highest (lowest?) order. Two teams plodding about in midfield with nary a chance, or a shot, between them. Then we have a free kick, Hourihane whips it in and someone (Scowen?) possibly gets a touch on it. The keeper makes a ballacks of it and Nyatanga is one of about 4 Reds players who coulda knocked in the rebound. GET IN! Within minutes, we're two up. Hourihane breaks his (most) recent famine by rifling it in from 15 yards. Well, actually, one of their players boots the ball off him and it goes in. Who says the luck isn't with us right now?
We are completely in control. So much so, I'm regaling Andy with how we'll never concede another goal EVER...when we do. Oh, how the Oldham fans laughed. Not too much though - they were still losing. Andy apologised, 'it's just his sense of humour'. Perhaps he thought they thought I was serious? Looked a smart move too, a nifty little pass, a turn and a cool finish into the bottom corner. 1st goal conceded in nearly 500 minutes. 'We've only done that to make it interesting.'
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| The view from the box |
2nd half, Oldham looked decent bets to bag an equaliser, they were certainly pressing. So we went upfield and bagged another set-piece goal. (I read somewhere we're the set piece kings of this division. Really?) A corner is headed against the post...many of us thought it had gone in...but luckily (that word again!) Nyatanga is there on the rebound. Again. He's the Jimmy Greaves of central defence. In so many ways. Another week, another win. I asked my mate Buzz on the way back how long this would go on for? 'Infinity and beyond' apparently.
There's still time for a sending off, a 2nd yellow for obstructing Scowen. Lots of comedy booing from home fans who felt hard done by. I thought the ref generally done good, not falling for the various diving antics of the home side. Just like at Oakwell, allegedly.
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| Can I reflect on the reflections? Annoying. |
Full time, the Oldham MOTM Mike Jones (the scorer) came to speak to us. What a reward for being their best player. When asked about ex-manager Johnson he got his biggest cheer; 'I don't even wanna mention him.' Fair play.
*** Nyatanga. Goalscorer supreme and solid in defence. A different beast to the one booed off at Crawley.
** Pearson. Ran midfield. Isn't he an Oldham lad?
* Scowen. Put himself about.
Londontykes top 3:
1. Nyatanga
2. Pearson
3. Scowen
Despatches:
The new left back didn't do owt. Still, I guess an 18 year old Smith can't last the full season. Waring won a few headers. Davies pulled off an absolute worldy at 1-3 with 5 mins left, tipping a header over the bar. Otherwise, only a few bread and butter saves. Lalkovic ran at their players, then disappeared. Hourihane was MOTM - according to the Football League Paper (?) Crainie and Holgate were sound.
Away: c2400 plus 2 in the exec box
Drink du jour: Erdinger Weissbier. You get a higher calibre of supermarket at Manchester Piccadilly (Little Waitrose).
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| Sparse turnout for the 2nd half |
£20 ent. Here's the deal. Call the game all-ticket 'depending on how many people buy tickets' (?) then say it's not all-ticket the day before. So, I had a ticket...but obviously I got a better offer.
£0 programme. Why are programme free when you're rich enough to be in the exec box? Only kidding. I'll have two.
Tunes. It's not quite 'the 8:15 from Manchester' (obscure reference to children's 80s telly) but I went all Manc on the way up...New Order, Inspiral Carpets (Oldham's finest) and Black Grape.
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| Oldham MOTM looking suitably unimpressed |
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| The Oldham exec area |
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| The new stand. Carbon copy of Leyton O? |
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| The home end |
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