‘How sh*t must you
be, we’re winning at home’
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| Someone looks happy to be catching the shuttle bus! |
Well, that lays it to rest, doesn’t it? A nightmare of a weekend and we’re now 11th. Or so I’m told – you don’t think I’ve actually looked at the table, do you? An awful, awful, second half display redolent of away performance of this season past…Crawley, Walsall, Port Vale…anymore? It was quite bewildering, the turnaround from the 1st half.
It was a strange 1st 45. Colchester had obviously heard how good we are, cos they camped all 11 men in their own half and showed absolutely no ambition whatsoever. Imagine, aiming for a 0-0 at home. Is this the Keith Hill / David Flitcroft school of management? So it was, we knocked it about sideways, sideways, backwards, possibly in an attempt to tempt them out. It didn't work, they stayed behind the ball and we huffed and puffed, creating little.
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| 1st sighting of ground (last building in town). |
Then we only went and ruined it. Another deadball goal (we’re the new Stoke; we can’t actually do owt in open play) as Hourihane swings it in, there’s a header..a frantic effort from the keeper…Holgate ready on the rebound, but he’s got his arm in the air claiming a goal….and we see Super Georgie Waring wheeling away in celebration. What a player! I’ve always said so.
This is great for the game, cos surely Colchester will now have to attack us, and we will, of course, murder them on the counter. It doesn’t happen in the remaining minutes of this half though. Play continues as before and George fails to get on the end of a whipped in cross (too slow? No anticipation?) Apart from this we had a couple of earlier low crosses into the box which went in front or behind our players. On another day…(well, on another day, we still wouldn’t have a striker who was able to pick these things off, cos Winnall was on the bench).
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| A satisfied customer clutches his programme |
At half time I chatted to Wadsworth and his bro-in law Craig, Essex geezer born and bred. There’s only one player on the pitch according to him - the Man U bloke. Pearson is (again) the only player capable of putting his foot on the ball and not look like he’s sh*tting himself. Meantime, Paul shares his views with me on Super Georgie Waring, who’s having another of those games where 6ft 5 doesn’t win you a header (apart from the one he DID win. Super George!) He’s an enigma.
The 2nd half is more even, but neither side will score in a million years..until Colchester do. Loanee Declan John shows what his defending is all about by letting the player cut inside and cross it. The cross is inch perfect into the corridor of uncertainty between Davies (welcome back!) and Holgate at the backpost. Quick movement from the striker (imagine!) and an outstretched leg and it’s one-all. Howthehell have this lot scored a goal? (I forget, I’ve just described how).
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| Comedy; Thursdays and every Easter Monday |
No worries, there’s half an hour left and we have to remember, we’re dead good and they’re not. Super Georgie Waring brings a ball down and lays it off for an onrushing Pearson to slide it home…’cept their guy slides across and blocks. Pearson curls another effort into the top corner…but it’s a little too gentle and the keeper makes a Hollywood save, tipping it round the post. Then they score the same goal in reverse. This time the ball comes in from the left (after Holgate is skinned) and as everyone runs to the middle of the goal in panic, the ball goes to the backpost where they their guy has an empty net. (I’ve since seen it on TV; when I say ‘empty net’, I mean ‘marked by Declan John’) Two f***ing one and we look as likely to score as Colchester did in the 1st half. Everyone knows we’ve spunked away our play-off chances and Holgate proves he’s in on the belief by simply letting their guy run round him before laying the ball back for the finish. 3-1, goodnight Barnsley. What a shower of s***.
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| A busy away end..and a not-so-busy... |
*** Pearson. Make the most of him while he’s here, cos he won’t be here for long. Tackles, passes, intercepts, has shaggy hair, shoots. What’s not to like?
** Scowen. Closed players down and tried to make things happen when he got the ball. One move, he broke past 3 players and only desperate lunges from a couple of players prevented him being clean through.
* Super George. Why not? Scored, had a couple of good 2nd half knockdowns. No worse than anyone else.
Londontykes top 3:
1. Pearson
2. Scowen
3. (Super George) Waring
Despatches:
Holgate was poor today. Smith wasn’t – cos he played Declan John again. Remind me, where were we in the table when this lad came along? ‘But he’s quick!’ Yeah, yeah. Not too keen on defending though, is he? The centre halves and keeper had nowt to do – so they scored 3. I’ve still no idea. Hourihane was dreadful. Someone tell him that round thing isn’t a hot potato. At least he had a shot this week – the ball dropped nicely for him, edge of the box (1-0 up), on his left (only) foot, and he skied it over the bar. Taken off for Berry (but not until the 90th minute. What’s the point?) Lalkovic was given a trot out and was as appalling as the Stewart who replaced him. Well, maybe not quite THAT bad, but anonymous nevertheless. I thought Bailey did alright, made a few interceptions. But how many holding midfielders do we need, against 2nd off bottom Colchester United? (A few more, judging by the result). Winnall came off the bench, to do FA. Needlessly offside once, but was he onside on another occasion, when he rounded the keeper to tap home the equaliser from an acute angle? I s’pose I’ll never know.
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| Oh dear. |
Drink du jour: Wheat beer frenzy! Benediktiner at Wetherspoons, Victoria (9:30) followed in the Victoria Inn (great pub) by Blanche de Namur. You don’t know what you’re missing!
Crowd: 5,157 (away 699) . If that ground holds 10,000, there were NEVER 5000 people in there. Never.
Nice stadium, considering it’s newness. Steep stands and great views. But it’s annoyingly built right on the edge of town, next to the main road (A12?). You even pass farmers’ fields to get to it, it’s that far out. At least there’s plenty of shuttle buses (£2.50 return) from the station and some pubs. But what happens when they get a crowd? There’s only one road to it. It reminds me of Wycombe, without the industrial estate. Still, it’s nice to see some trees from the away end. I hope they stay up (we’ve done our bit!) cos Colchester is still a pleasant day out for us Londontykes, even with engineering works.
Shame Tim wasn’t with us for the replacement bus service from some place I’ve never heard of (Ingatestone?) cos I could’ve pointed out the celeb sat across from us…none other than Colchester’s most famous football fan…6 Music’s Steve Lamacq. (‘Who?’ I hear you cry) Anyway, he was playing cards with his mates so I left him alone. Which was nice of me.
**Have a look who refereed
yesterday (chortle). No wonder we lost! (‘Keith Hill’. Presumably not THAT Keith Hill, ex-Barnsley
supremo and whinge-a-lot).
The Bare Necessities:
16.50 ent ('early bird')
16.50 travel (coach there, train and replacement bus back)
3 prog
The Tunes:
Imidiwan - Tinariwen
The Bare Necessities:
16.50 ent ('early bird')
16.50 travel (coach there, train and replacement bus back)
3 prog
The Tunes:
Imidiwan - Tinariwen
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| Only at Colchester...fans traipse home through fields. |
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| Proof we made their box, 2nd half. |
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| Match action |
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| Police control box...at the home end. They're a rough lot, obvs. |
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| Main Stand. And is that Westlife and Boyzone? Here? |
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