Barnsley 5-0 Rochdale, Sunday 3rd May 2015

‘kan vi spille du hver uke?’

Down the hill to the Theatre of Screams

Due to unpopular demand, here’s last week’s match report.  Sorry for the delay.  The thing about spending the weekend up in Barnsley and amusing a Norweigan back in London means I’m massively behind in work at the moment.  Good job it’s not exam time.  Oh.

'Keith Hill was right, Barnsley is sh*te.'

Anyway, those that were there may remember we played quite well in the first half; lots of passing and movement and George Smith tearing down the left wing.  An odd tactic I thought, given they had Tom Kennedy defending for them on the opposite side!  The way we moved the ball around at will, anyone would think Rochdale had nowt to play for – which they hadn’t, as they were already destined to finish above us for the 1^st time in 40 odd years.  But let’s give Dale and Keith Hill their dues.  Their highest ever position?

Toby busts a few shapes pre-match

The second half continued in a similar vein.  It was an entertaining, open game, though a little devoid of actual chances.  Then one of theirs got a 2^nd yellow and the floodgates opened.  Suddenly we fancied ourselves, got cocky and Davies had to pull off 2 (more) amazing saves, including a one-on-one.  Everyone forgets this at full-time.

Of course, we then swamp them, marauding this way and that with players finishing the flowing moves in superb style.  Or b) we rely on deadballs again.  Hourihane swings in a corner and Scowen, standing still, heads home.  Then Hourihane swings in a corner and Scowen, standing still, heads home.  Then Hourihane swings in a corner and Holgate stretches out a leg at the backpost.  3-0.  Fancy, a Keith Hill-led side being unable to defend.  Well, if you shop at Aldi…

The teams come out

Then a decent move down our right, the ball laid on a plate by Oates for an open-goal tap-in by Hourihane.  How Oates must regret not having a go himself, being released by BFC only a few days later.  Cos we all know Conor would’ve squared the ball in a goalscoring position, don’t we?  The icing on the cake is the 5^th in injury time, as George Smith gets his just desserts, running down the left and crossing deep for Winnall to notch at the back post.  5-0.  5 f***ing nil.  If only it mattered.

Now, I’d love to say the crowd broke out in a ‘Keith Hill, what’s the score?’ but they couldn’t be ar5ed all day, save for a tiny ‘It’s just like watching Brazil’. Far more vocal were the Dale 600 with their ‘Keith Hill was right, Barnsley is sh*te’ chant (till they started conceding). The Ponty looked fairly devoid of people all match...while I have it on good terms by a latecomer that some left at half time.  More fool them!

Fans celebrate the end of another season of non-achievement.

*** Smith.  Roared up that line time and again.  Declan WHO?

** Scowen.  Ran around, scored 2, got booked for a late tackle. Redfearn’s Twitter MOTM (as usual).

* Davies. 2 crucial saves at 0-0.  

Despatches:
Somebody asked if Hourihane’s goal and 3 assists were good enough for me?  Well, I’d like to see Hourihane pass it across the box for a tap in one day. Or set up a goal from open play.  3 corners and poor defending against 10 men.  Well done Conor.   As for his 15 goals (including pens)..well, that’s the same number as Bristol City’s centre half.  BFC fans' player of the year my ar5e.

Great to see so many ex-juniors given a chance today and none of ‘em let the side down. Maris showed good movement 1^st half and obviously Oates looked half decent and set one up.  Good luck Rhys – you’re just not George Waring (!)  Holgate, Bree and sub Digby all looked good. In Digby’s case, can he step into Pearson’s shoes next year?  Cos next season is make or break for him.  Winnall had his usual falling over game.  Can someone tell him to either get a new pair of boots or stop diving?  That and his lack of hold up play irks me, no matter how many he scores.  Berry looked promising again. Perhaps he’ll confound us all and have a future at Oakwell.

'Please get off the pitch.  The players will not...'  Yeah yeah.  

Drink du jour: vodka and orange (gents), Prosecco (ladies).  One advantage of a 12:15 KO was the chance of after-match beers in the Old Number 7 AND the Sheffield Tap.   Mind, being ‘Tour de Yorkshire’ day in Barnsley, the upstairs of the #7 was packed, including that brass band, so we had to hide in the basement.
Onwards and upwards. Shame we p***ed it away with 1 win in the last 10 but we’ve got to be optimistic about next year’s chances. For a start, Johnson has GUARANTEED at least the play-offs.  Get Declan John and George Waring back and it’s nailed on*.  (Kidding).

Crowd: 9,593  Away: c.600. Good turnout from the ickle village over the Pennines.  Good to see Noble-Lazarus back (he was rubbish) and Kennedy kick it backwards (sadly, they don’t have Chris O’Grady so he sent little down the line). Dawson was out injured, shame, I liked him.

*you know Loko actually believes this, don’t you!!??

The thin yellow line.

Nets taken down till August.

The East Stand empties.

One day soon this will all be dust.

The Metropolitan Centre, soon to R.I.P.