Reading 3-0 BFC, Tuesday 28th November 2017

‘We take one step back to go two steps further back.’

Reading, a Tuesday night.

A week is a long time in football, probably too long to be writing match report after the event, but here goes; maybe it’ll be even less accurate than usual…

Well, it all started at K Town.  Of course Andy and I would be there on time, and of course, our chauffeur (Dave) wouldn’t.  Still, 20 minutes…enough time for a pint.  Yes please.  Sadly, Dave arrived and we had to down the remnants.  There went our excuse, we had to go now…

All went as expected.  Plenty of queues and an hour and a half to drive 30 odd miles.  Then, just as the traffic actually flowed, the dam was about to burst.  Either we made kick off and I wet myself, or….  Luckily, the team had been announced.  An uninspiring line-up (no Hedges, after the Leeds cameo..and Potts out wide.  No Bradshaw or Thiam, but Ugbo given a run out.  Moncur still there.  WTF?)  Yeah, no rush.

A bit busier in this stand.

Sadly, we didn’t miss much.  Got there in plenty of time to see which team could give it away the most.  What a terrible pair of teams.  Noticeably, the game was played in our half, making us the lesser of two appalling sides, but it still came as a shock to concede.  Reading have a corner, and their bloke saunters towards the front post, 6 yards out.  I can’t say he lost his marker, cos I don’t think he had one in the 1^st place.  The resultant flick-on is fumbled into the net by Davies.  The highlight for me was seeing one terrace regular going potty at Davies.  (You’ll know him by sight; a moustachioed mate of a hairy mate who knows Molly.  Does that narrow it down?  Wears glasses, straightish, slightly thinning, greying hair?  60+.  Come on , you know who I mean.  Anyway, him.)  Well, he was going berserk at Davies, and he still hadn’t calmed down by half time as…

Reading celebrate #1.

We concede a 2^nd.  From a Reading point of view, it must look a blinder, 20 odd yarder into the top corner.  Sadly, from behind it, it was all a bit slow-mo for me as the player gets a lucky hit which goes over Davies, who’s off his line.  I’m rather more p***ed off with Williams getting the wrong side of said player and neither centre half closing him down, allowing a free hit.  Didn’t we concede this goal 3 days earlier at home to Leeds?  Heckingbottom can share some of my ire there too.  Once is a mistake, twice is stupidity, etc.

So I said to the bloke next to me...'Oi!'

Still, Hecky realises we are beyond woeful and attempts to do something radical, hauling off 3 (it could have been 10) of our penny dreadfuls: MacDonald, Gardner and Ugbo.  The improvement is noticeable.  We now have 2 up front and we’re pressing them, instead of vice versa.  Unfortunately, chances are still at a premium and Reading go up the other end and cannon a long shot off the post.  Then, with 5 mins left, comes our chance.  Thiam backheels a delightful ball into the path of Starman Barnes, who’s on fire of late.  However, like all left-footers, he only has one foot and strikes the ball off the post from 15 yards with his right.  Should have bagged, and that’s our lot.  But to cap an atrocious night, Davies makes a great save from a shot, tipping it onto the bar, and while the rest of our defence stand still, there’s a tap-in of a header for them.  God we are s***.

*** Fryers.  Did alright.  In a game where ‘alright’ makes you our best player over 90 minutes.  

** Thiam.  Audacious backheel.

* No-one.  

Londontykes' MOTM:  1. Thiam  2. Williams  3. Fryers

Onwards and upwards!

Away: c200.  Peas rattling around a tunnel.  The home end was the same.  

Full time.  Can we go home now?

Despatches:

I’m not going to go through the entire team, but what is the point of a Gardner?  (Actually…I need my lawn mown.  Do you think he’d be up to it?)  And as for everyone’s favourite least favourite player (Moncur) I read a piece in the Sun at the weekend, with our resident godbotherer thanking the Good Lord for his ‘footballing talent’.  Well, after nearly choking on my own vomit, I did start wishing he’d at least be a bit more Calvinist.  Perhaps if he did some f***ing work, he might yet make a footballer.  As for the moaning (before and after) about Hedges not being in the team, I can understand that.  Hedges did damage against Leeds on the LEFT wing…and our best player is our left winger (Barnes).  So to put Hedges on the left, you then have to mess around with Barnes.  And Leicester City’s Barnes is way more valuable to us than Barnsley’s Hedges, which is a real shame.  Oh well.  Oh, and if one moment summed up our performance, it was one of our classic corners.  We play it short, it goes back, goes back again, then again, and before you know it, Davies is in possession.  Compare with their 1^st goal.

The one plus I can think of was the reciprocal arrangement we had with Reading, whereby season ticket holders got a fiver off.  This kind of thing should happen more often.  We’re the ones footing Moncur’s wages, etc.

Drink du jour: Leffe, Camden Pale Ale

The Damage:
£20 ent
£15 travel/parking

The Tunes:
Sunburst and Snowblind (Cocteau Twins)
Hippopotamus (Sparks)
If You’re Feeling Sinister (Belle and Sebastian)

'Thanks for your effort.'  'Whatever.'