BFC 0-0 Wolves, Saturday 13th January 2018

‘At my age it's like tattie watter.’

Pre-match in the Arcade Ale House

I LOVE THESE NEW OWNERS!!!!  Best we’ve ever had, etc.  They came in, they promised to improve the fan experience…and within a fortnight we have new hand dryers AS WELL AS hot water.  Christ, Oakwell joining the 20^th century.  I may well take them up on their hope that supporters come to the ground early…just so’s I can wash my hands, dry them…and repeat the process.  I f***ing love it!  Love it I tell ya!

Down the hill to Oakwell.

The football?  Who cares?  I’ve been asking for hand dryers for 20 years.  I wouldn’t even care, but I hadn’t got round to e-mailing the latest bunch (thought I’d let them settle in first).  Apparently we’re the 6^th richest team in the country now (ironically, just behind today’s visitors Wolves).  Bring it on.  What else can we have?  Carpeted refreshment areas, a la Norwich (my dad tells me; I’ve never been in the home end)?  A big screen that’s actually…big?  (I’ve heard that’s in the offing).  Young virgins hand feeding supporters (sour) grapes in the Ponty? 

The corner of the West Stand and Ponty.

Course, it might help if we stay in this division.  And hopes were high pre-match.  ‘0-3’, ‘0-3’, ‘0-3’, ‘0-4’ (Wadd) and ‘we won’t get a point in the next 4 matches’ (Nozza).  There was only one dissenter, a Dunelmian bloke, proclaiming (hoping) that without Star Man Bowie Joe Williams of Everton, the midfield would step up to the plate and we’d nick a 1-0.  I was one George Moncur mishit from being bang on.  (Obvs that means ‘not a hope in hell’)  Having kept the wolves at the door, Little Red Riding Hood had the temerity to get up the pitch, the ball set nicely…and everyone’s favourite Godbotherer blazed wide.  From the East Stand, it looked a goal all the way.  Luckily, I was sat in the Ponty…

How can anyone stand THIS view?

My Pops again turned down the opportunity of using his season ticket.  Something about not being interested till we look like winning a game, along with a sh*tty journey through roadworks on the motorway.  So I went in the Ponty, found the seat next to Jonesy occupied (was I looking at the wrong seat? He claims otherwise) so found Wadd, Moll, Loko and Hicksy.  If only Selwood weren’t at some Butlins dancing away to 90s choons, I could have had the full set of Chuckle Brothers.  Still, at least I know why I see a different game to them – they’re so low down you can only see this half of the pitch.  Perhaps it’s for the best.

My new view.  Not great.

With Williams out, it was up to Gardner, Potts and Mallan to form a midfield trio behind Bradshaw.  So it was with no rush that I spent the 1^st 10 minutes in the ticket office, sorting Villa tickets.  ‘Sorry for the delay.’  ‘Oh, it’s alright, I’m only missing the match.’  My only worry was missing a Wolves goal.  Once in, yeah, they looked the better team, but we were BATTLING, not giving an inch, and in particular it was the holy trinity of Lindsay, Pinnock and Gardner where we won it, though everyone put a shift in.  Everyone.  We made it to half time without looking particularly threatened.

A capacity away end, 1200 off 'official' capacity.

Second half, Wolves took it to us early doors and one of their multi million pound signings (I presume) smashed it off the bar from 20 yards, a la Thiam at Sunderland.  Then a goal disallowed for offside (not sure how – it was at the far end!)  But lo!  For 10 or 15 minutes the Super Reds were the better side.  Hammill missed a snapshot, the ball dribbling wide (did he see it late, behind a defender?)  Bradshaw was a willing runner, finding space down the right, while crosses started coming in. Time to unleash the beast: our new signing Kiefer Moore.  Momentum immediately switched their way.  So, while Moore did create the chance for Moncur with a flick on, the miss of the match came with a Wolves multi-million signing (I presume) lifting the ball over the bar from what looked like under it.  As I said, perhaps you’re better off with a poor view.  No need to worry about the old ticker so much when the opposition press at the other end.

The old Main Stand.

So there it was.  BATTLING BARNSLEY ARE BACK.  A cracking effort (despite the lack of goals) and Wolves ZERO shots on target was testament to a fabulous defensive display.  One problem: Villa next week, Gardner can’t play cos he’s on loan, while Williams is still out suspended.  Shall we have a sweep stake?

Onwards and upwards!

*** Gardner.  Twitter MOTM. Whythehell not?  I’ve given him plenty of brickbats thus far, so credit where it’s due.  (We’ll ignore the fact he lost his man for the cross where they missed from under the bar.)

** Lindsay.  Blocked, headed, sometimes found his man.* Pinnock.  Where’s he been hiding?  Says something about Dulwich Hamlet’s school of excellence compared to ours.

Londontykes' MOTM:  1. Pinnock  2. Gardner  3. Lindsay

The East Stand.

Despatches:
I liked the look of Toby (Cavare) 1^st half.  He proper went through 2 different Wolves players in tackles.  I was surprised they got up.  Nearly gave them the game with a careless pass near the end tho.  The rest ran around, made life difficult.  Exactly what was needed against the runaway leaders.  

And I know the ref probably was one of the better ones we’ve had (wasn’t it great hearing Wolves fans chorus ‘we only get sh*t refs’, though I couldn’t understand what their gripe was).  Oh yes, my gripe…TWICE (that’s once, plus another once) he blew up for fouls against us for high feet, when both players pulled out of lifting their feet before they did damage.  What is this? The thought police? You can’t give a free kick for a player THINKING of lifting his leg up.  I guess the ref was anticipating the high foot.  Next time, concentrate on anticipating the penalty you’re about to give Barnsley.

Oh, and we shared the journey back with West Ham.  Now, this might be one for Wadd or Dave Wood, but we got talking about ex-West Ham who’ve come to Barnsley.  Moncur (s***), Elliott Lee (s***), a 3^rd one I can’t remember the name of (s***).  Have we EVER had a decent player who played for West Ham earlier in his career?

Panorama v Wolves.

Drink du jour: 
Arcade Ale House: Durham IPA?  Is everything from Durham a bit dodgy?  Transferred to Staropramen.  Much better.  Vodka and orange on the train with West Ham.  Sierra Nevada in Kings X with Tottenham.

Home without falling asleep on the bus.  Bed, after falling asleep on the couch.  Dammit.

Away: 4,701.  This is bugging me.  A sellout from Wolves, but plod won’t let us sell 1200 tickets in the away end.  I say milk ‘em for all they’re worth.  Get ‘em in the West Stand.  That’ll give plod something to think about…

The Damage:
£23.80 train
= £23.80

Programmes sold out before kick-off.  Again.

The Tunes:Foxbase Alpha (St. Etienne)
SoTough (St. Etienne)
Cyberdream (Dr Devious)
George Formby Ultimate Collection (George Formby)
(Yes, you read that right).

The old Main Stand in full.