Geordie Al's Groundhopper Scrapbook: Tooting and Mitcham United 1-4 Leatherhead, Monday 2nd April 2018

Tuesday, 3 April 2018

Tooting and Mitcham United 1-4 Leatherhead, Monday 2nd April 2018

Tooting and Mitcham United 1-4 Leatherhead (att. c200), Isthmian League, Premier Division

Say no more...

A week or so ago, I decided I’d give Barnsley FC a miss on Easter Monday. It’s bad enough losing every week, but the new manager appears tactically devoid, and the train fares were ridiculous. In the end, it was a good job: Forest away was postponed, rained off. Plan B was go and see my local team, Dulwich Hamlet, at Kingstonian (who play at Leatherhead). This would be some irony, going to watch The Hamlet (freshly kicked out of their ground) play away at Kingstonian (kicked out of their ground when AFC Wimbledon sold their stadium to Chelsea). On a whim, I checked the game was on before I left the house. ‘Pitch inspection at 11:30’ I was told. Never a good sign, game was called off due to waterlogging.

Back of the Main Stand...in T&M's black and white stripes.

Thus, it was Plan C – go to see Kingstonian’s landlords, Leatherhead, play at Dulwich’s new landlords, Tooting and Mitcham. Are you keeping up? Anyway, at least a chance to scout out the route, ready for when I go see Hamlet there. And good job I did too, as it took me 2 bloody hours from Peckham! No news on National Rail of the trains being called off from Streatham, the rail replacement bus left without announcement, I caught another bus to somewhere in Tooting (or Mitcham – I don’t know the area), to get a connecting bus to Mitcham Junction, which was walkable to the ground. Only it wasn’t (the way I went). Expecting a pleasant walk through open heath, I got sucked into an industrial estate before wandering alongside the River Wandle, with no prospect of a crossing to the ground on the other side.

The Fens, Mitcham.

At least I could hear the tannoy through the trees, so carried on till I hit the main road and a bridge. (I’d return this way, a bus to Tooting Broadway, then hitting the Northern Line. Way easier, 1 hour 20 the way back, tho this kills my theory that everywhere in London takes an hour to get to. But is Mitcham ‘London’?) I’d missed kick off by a couple of minutes, but it was easy in, through what looked like the only turnstile open. I guess 2nd off bottom Tooting weren’t expecting a big crowd, and they were right…about 200, with a good quarter coming from Leatherhead.

The turnstiles.

I can see why Dulwich would choose to come here too. There’s two large terraces behind each goal (certainly larger than the ones at Champion Hill), both with cover, and a decent cantilever main stand. However, the roofs are all too high, and the stands behind the goals have no backing, meaning the wind howls through them. So if it rains, the rain would still blow in. These stands would be better off in hotter climes, protecting fans from the sun. Luckily, the rain had eased off, though there was a breeze.

Behind the goal with the 'head.

I stood behind the goal at the end I’d entered, with the throng of Leatherhead fans. The pitch was extremely heavy, the ball barely rolled, and players found themselves unable to pass a ball 20 yards without resorting to the hoof. The enormous Tooting centre half was particularly adept at the launching of a clearance to nobody in particular. Still, Tooting broke, and a long range shot from wide cannoned off the far post. At this point, I didn’t realise Tooting had lost 7 (seven) in a row and were 2nd off bottom – they looked the better team.

Leatherhead fans (and their pints).

Unfortunately, it didn’t last. In a scramble (a corner?) a T&M player cannoned into the back of an opponent, who collapsed spectacularly. Penalty, 0-1. Then, Leatherhead had a corner, which was poorly played to the front (right hand) post. The left back, inexplicably on the post for the RIGHT footer, messed up the clearance with his left, another corner. The ball was put into the SAME spot, only the left back this time swung and missed (did the opposition know how inept he was?) and the ball hit a Leatherhead player, before he had the wits about him to turn and poke it home. ‘Leather Leather Leather Leather Leather-head’ sang the away support.

The penalty is despatched.

Half time came and a chance to have a walk around the stadium. The 4th side has a couple of steps and a corrugated metal back, to prevent anyone watching the game for free from the fields behind. They could do with some of this at the back of those open ends. There’s a couple of steps, more than enough for the dozen or so watching from this side in the 1st half.

I’d also seen people with beer, but I never did locate where they were acquired; it mattered not, it wasn’t the weather for one for me. I walked around to the Main Stand and grabbed a tea and a Snickers. £1.80. Professional clubs take note.

The Far Side.

2nd half was another gruelling effort on the stodge of a pitch. T&M were holding their own, till Leatherhead scored two from rebounds, the keeper’s excellent saves not matched by any of his defenders following up to clear. With a few of the home support drifting off, there was finally something for the homers to cheer, with a late deflected long range effort. There were a few claps, but the biggest response was from the clearly disappointed Leatherhead keeper; no clean sheet today.

Full-time and a comfortable win for the ‘head. (I know they’re ‘The Head’ cos therir fans kept singing as such.) It was good to see a new ground. The Tooting and Mitcham experience lacks for the atmosphere of, say, Dulwich, or the sociability of Carshalton, but with three tallish stands and very few supporters, you get a decent view. Shame about the football.

The Damage:
£10 ent
£2 programme

The Tunes:
Lazaretto (Jack White)
Art of the State (Pressure of Speech)
Return to the Source (Various)