Wycombe Wanderers 1-0 BFC, Saturday 8th December 2018

‘Greengrass called – he wants his jacket back.’

Welcome to ....

They’re like London buses these trips to lower division executive boxes, so I’m sure everyone’s wondering, who wins – Accrington or Wycombe?

Food: 

Starter: Mushroom surprise (Stanley) versus shoulda been mushroom surprise (but a personally made olive salad instead).  I didn’t have the heart to tell Wycombe I don’t like olives either, but round 1 to Wycombe (on points).

Mains: a lump of beef (Accrington) with a few roast/chipped potatoes and green beans versus the same, but breaded salmon, at Wycombe.  I was pleasantly surprised, expecting some kiev-style horrid creaminess to ooze out, but really, what was the point of the breadcrumbs?  And while I’m here, who chooses green beans over peas?  Green beans must be the only veg I’m not keen on.  A draw.

Dessert: Given Stanley’s cheesecake was inedible (bloody CHEESE!) this could only go one way, despite the toffee pudding offering at Adams Park.  Why not treacle pudding?  Toffee’s not a great taste.  Tho’ Wanderers went the extra, offering me a fruit salad (errrr….) before giving me the kiddy option – ice cream.  (I also learnt I’m not keen on mint chocolate chip ice cream either, but I did have some vanilla too).  Round 3 to Wycombe.

The starter: what's not to like?

Beer: San Miguel at Accy versus barely owt drinkable at Wycombe.  I was educated by a Mr B. Loko of somewhere up north that all the beers were provided by Heineken, hence they were s***.  So I summoned my student years and went all cidery. Can’t remember the brand.  Just look up ‘s*** cider owned by Heineken’.  Point to Accy.

Service: I’m not faulting either service, tho Accy did bring beers to the table and had a happy hour with beers at 2 quid.  Accy it is then. 

Winner: Well, a week after a dodgy drawn decision in the heavyweight boxing title fight (so I’ve read; I couldn’t give a s***) we have another controversial decision, as all the judges (me) were nobbled by extreme amounts of alcohol and thus couldn’t really be trusted to give a rounded view of anything.  Just like every other match report.  Wycombe Wanderers 2 Accrington Stanley 2.

Former Wanderers (and Super Reds) player Alfie Mawson.

Oh, the match?  There was a 1^st half where nothing happened.  Then I headed indoors early, chiefly for a p***, but also to head the queue for exec box beer.  This was a clever idea, cos I was 1^st served…and last to get a drink, as I had to order for everyone else coming in.  Shouldn’t moan though, as I had a cracking view on the TV screen of the Super Reds being utterly destroyed in the 1^st 15 mins of the 2^nd half, before some Watford loanee hit a 20 odd yarder from a half cleared corner.  Looked like it went straight through Davies, which sounds about right – does any other professional goalkeeper concede as many from outside the box as he does?  (That’s a rhetorical question, btw.)

We had half an hour to produce something..anything…and with Pinnock pushed up, the one chance we had fell to him but he lofted it over the bar while leaning back.  We were awful.  

Onwards and upwards!

An exasperated Stendal, full-time (through the prism of the dugout)

*** Pinnock.  Oozed class in defence, especially in 1^st half as he mopped up everything. 
** Mowatt.  Tidy.  The new Stephen McPhail.  Looks good, without producing anything.
* Thiam.  I know.  We were that bad, Thiam looked our best hope when he came on.

Londontykes' MOTM:  1. Pinnock  2. Mowatt  3. Thiam

Despatches:

I won’t go through a whole team of ‘he was s***, he wasn’t very good’ etc.  Just presume.  Brown wasn’t too bad.  (‘This week, Matthew, I’ll be a right back.’)  Good to see McCarthy have the last laugh on us, unable to make our team, now he’s beating us.  No width either, just 4 central midfielders strung across the park.  Adam Hammill.  Just saying.

Pile of s***, Barnsley, pile of s***.  (Well done Wycombe, btw.  Ran around and never gave us the time we needed for our lack of ability)

Otherwise, the highlights were the goalscorer being interviewed in the exec box – Christ, what a personality bypass he was. And upon leaving the stadium, with the players on the coach, I couldn’t resist popping my head on board for a word.  I regret not having the rant the team obviously need to shake themselves out of the current stupor, settling for a ‘Very poor Barnsley.  Very poor.’  Much like a disappointed parent.  (They’re problies still wondering what a 'Geordie' was doing on their bus.)

Londontykes, 2018-style.

Drink du jour: All kinds of decent ales in the pre-match craft pub and the after match railway pub.  They were 2 great boozers we will surely be hitting next season.
ps, great to see everyone and HAPPY BIRTHDAY LYNNE (for Thursday).

Away: 941

The Damage:
£15 train 
£3.50 prog (forgot I’d get a free one, so bought one outside.  Idiot.)
c£30 beers
= £48.50

The Tunes:
Boomania (Betty Boo)
Achtung Bono (Half Man Half Biscuit)
ACD (Half Man Half Biscuit)

'You scored a great goal.'  '...yes...'

The salubrious road to Adams Park.  Like Highlander, there can be only one.

The programme hut and 'Gerry's badges'.

The club shop extension.

An excited honorary Londontyke (prematch, obvs.)

Those deemed not good enough for Barnsley's 1st team.  I'd retire...

The away end.

The BMI Healthcare Terrace, no less.

Like me, Stendal can't believe what he's seeing.

More of the same.

I wish that dugout was even bigger...