Geordie Al's Groundhopper Scrapbook: Penistone Church 2-1 Goole Town, Saturday 14th September 2019

Sunday, 15 September 2019

Penistone Church 2-1 Goole Town, Saturday 14th September 2019

Penistone Church 2-1 Goole Town, Northern Counties East League Premier Division (att. 211)

Welcome to ...

Thanks to the infamous trinity of Leeds United, rail companies and South Yorkshire Police (SYP), I find myself at Penistone Church FC on a Saturday. Why so? Well, it seems SYP are unable to police Barnsley’s derby with Dirty Leeds, as well as provide safety to the good denizens of horseracing/drinking at the St. Ledger in Doncaster, so BFC are forced to move their game to the Sunday. Fair enough one might say – except SYP wait over 3 weeks to announce the measure, despite the date of the St. Ledger being known to all and sundry months ahead. Plod could have moved this the day after the football fixtures were announced in June. No, instead, wait till over 3 weeks later, the day after we Londontykes bought our train tickets, having given time for the game to be re-arranged anyway for Leeds TV (Sky). Result? Well, 7 returns at £30 a pop going to waste, the rail franchises ensuring that even a part rebate on our tickets didn’t make buying rail tickets for the Sunday worthwhile (ticket prices also now being extortionate). So, while others drove up to the game, or just didn’t go at all, I used one of the singles up and stayed overnite at a mate’s. Thus, rather than waste a Satdy, we hopped on a bus from Barnsley to Penistone to see the Church.

The entrance.

We arrived around midday. The sun shone, the old stone buildings of Penistone looked resplendent…and the local pub was full of…Bolton fans. Eh? Turned out a coachload of some very clever Lancastrian folk (they do exist) had stopped off at Penis Town for some ales on their way to Rotherham. As we sat outside on a picnic table, I chatted to one of them. Yes, they’re grateful to still have a team to support, and yes, he’d bet they’d stay up this season. ‘I’ll take that bet’ I said. ‘See you same place next season so I can collect.’ They later lost 6-1. Staying up with a 12 point deduction will be some achievement.

The Main / only Stand

Church hoped for a decent turnout today, but that was unlikely – it was also Penistone Show, where farm animals come from far and wide to be judged how great they are. We might have popped in, were it not for a 12 quid entry fee. I’m not paying that to see a few cows and have the chance to buy some homemade jam. I, and 210 others, decided we’d rather see a match amongst the 9^th tier of English football. Still technically semi-pro, with floodlights and everything. Though the little tubby bald bloke up front made me think I still had hope. (Obviously, he opened the scoring.)

Home fans behind the goal, 2nd half.

It was an exciting match, full of goalmouth action, goals, and the woodwork hit 3 times. Penistone scraped it 2-1, going two up in the first 13 mins, then hanging on in the second half as Goole (with a 100% record thus far) pulled one back and had two headers hit the bar, as well as missing a simple chance on the backpost late on. All par for the course.

A Londontyke sports his Clapton CFC shirt.

The ground is about a 10 minute walk from the high street, through an estate. The ground had a very open feel. There’s a small stand by the touchline, with two rows of not-very-many-seats-at-all, with a standing area beside. Behind the goal is the clubhouse and changing rooms, while the other two sides of the pitch are simply bordered by a railing. The clubhouse was pretty sizeable and I bought a pint to enjoy while I watched proceedings.

Inside the clubhouse.

Nozzer and I were also joined by Wadd, a former Londontyke now living in Penistone and an occasional visitor to Church. As I said, today was a glorious day – but what about the rest of the year? ‘Ah’, he said. ‘The wind is the problem. It’s so open around here’ (there were more football fields behind the far side). I’m not all that sure I want to come back in winter, but as an end of summer experience, fabulous!