BFC 2-1 Huddersfield Town, Saturday 11th January 2020

‘You should have seen their daughters.  I could have licked that screen.’

Town centre rebuilding continues.

What a great day!  It was just like the old days.  2 tables full of Londontykes on the Booze Express from Sheffield, alcohol flowing, rubbish being spouted…and Nice Guy Chris censoring the chants (ok, the latter never used to happen, but it does now).  Marius was over from Norway, so the crowds came out in numbers.  Loko half-inched supplies from work meaning beer o’clock started the minute the train set off up north.  Then it was downstairs at the Old Number 7, as Hudds had taken over upstairs (but that was fine, we had a table and there was still a decent atmosphere).  Then we saw a match (the boring bit) before a couple of highlights at the Sheffield Tap, neither of which involved beer.  Just imagine a real-life Jessica Rabbit (look her up).  Was it her top defying gravity or was it what was underneath?  We’ll never know. 

Down the hill to Valhalla.

Ah, yes the match.  What a horrible set of cnuts they were.  What’s happened to Huddersfield?  What is it about ex-Premiership teams?  Petulant, snide, dirty….do they learn that in the Prem or do they just sign those kind of players once they get there?  Either way, fine by us, as they moaned and cried their way through the game, showing no actual effort in just winning.  They obviously had a problem with the referee, who refused to listen to their snivelling.  Mind, I didn’t hear them moan when one of their players walked on Mads’ back after the ball went out.  And the quickest they moved all day was to surround the ref after Bambo had kicked a terrier up in the air.  I presume they were begging the man in black to keep Bambo ON and only show a yellow?  (He did.)

The away hordes.  'Barnsley's a sh*thole' etc.  Yeah, yeah.

Yes, another vintage Bambo performance had done his best, but sadly we still won.  Two-nil up, we’d barely had time to savour our imminent victory before Bambo wildly swung at a clearance, gives it straight to them…and it’s 2-1 and we’re hanging on.  Still, that was some finish, a rocket into the net from 25 yards that no keeper on earth would have dared get in the way of.  Earlier, Bambo had done his best Beckenbauer impression, going on some hair-brained run before losing it in their half.  They streaked down the pitch and only a last-gasp block from Mads saved the day.  (It comes to something when you have to rely on HIM.)  Mind, Mads also lost one in his own half when they had numbers up, but I am not kidding when I describe Huddersfield as the worst side I’ve seen this season. 

The old Main Stand.

We went one up early doors when Jacob Brown beat a defender wide-right with ease, before driving it across goal for a Mowatt tap-in.  One has to admire how Mowatt still does everything he can to get it on his left foot even when he’s 3 yards out.  Later, Brown clinched it with another sublime ball to goal machine Conor Chaplin.  10 goals for the season and Loko paying out to Slacki before the transfer window’s even closed.  Job’s a good un.

Otherwise, we had all of the ball and none of the chances.  We wasted a break not dissimilar to those Hudds had showed us how not to do it, but really, it was comfortable.  They really were terrible.

Onwards and upwards!

*** Halme.  I know what we’ll do with our best centre half.  Play him defensive mid and hope for the best.  To be fair, a class act. 

** Brown.  The danger man.  He’s here, here’s there…he’s laying on the goals.

* Chaplin.  Knock knock knockin’ on Barca’s door…actually, I hear Suarez is out for 4 months.  Barca to put in a cheeky bid for Conor.

Official MOTM: Jordan Williams.  Was that cos he was ex-Hudds?

Londontykes' MOTM: 1. Brown 2. Halme 3. Jordan Williams

The Ponty v Hudds.

Despatches:Odour continues to look a cracking find at left back.  Jordan Williams got MOTM, but I can’t say I noticed him.  The centre halves proved they’re capable of a mistake (no news there).  Mowatt was tidy if unspectacular (no news there either) while the new guy…Austrian bloke, no idea of his name….had an awful opening 20, crossing the ball into the stand, etc…but got better and better.  Thomas was close to my top 3 too, driving at Hudds but just not quite getting the final ball right.
I took on a 7^th bet of a tenner pre-match that we’re going down (so that’s two members of the Jones clan who’d better not kick the bucket before season’s end).  If I can convince the other 10,000 season-ticket holders, I can pay off my mortgage.  While I’m enjoying the recent upsurge (no, really!) we can’t keep scoring every week to keep us in it.  Not while we carry Laurel and Hardy at the back.  We just can’t.

And what was wrong with their fans today?  Don’t they know we generally have a good rapport?  If they’re not telling us ‘Barnsley’s a sh*thole, I wanna go home’ (go on then), they’re on the station platform after the match giving it ‘if you’ve got 6 fingers clap your hands’, followed by clapping.  Don’t they do intelligence in Huddersfield?  Still, they were right about Oakwell being a library today.  Why was the atmosphere so poor?  Local derby, 6 pointer, winning…the fans only got going in the last 5 minutes.

Then we were back at St P…so obvs we went to the Euston Tap, where we ended up sat outside in January, enjoying the clement weather and glorious beer.  No, I did not have any recollection of getting home.  Marius is convinced I stood outside my house piling a box of chips from Morleys into my face, but I know this not to be true cos I never go to Morleys.  Ever.

A minute's silence, pre-match.

Drink du jour: Crikey.  A selection of Brewdog…Wehenstephaner at the #7 and Sheffield Tap…spiced rum and ginger ale as well as some other random spirit on the booze express…then I’ve no idea what in London.  This is what happens when Marius comes…

Away: 4,476.  Also a little subdued.

The Damage:

£38 train

£3 prog

= £41

The Tunes:
None – couldn’t even listen to owt on the bus, cos Marius would not shut the f*** up.

East Stand panorama.

Ponty End panorama (cheers Jonesy).

A. Very Tall floodlight pylon.

Them Terriers again.