Enough of that though, as I try, for a second consecutive season, to see a match at every one of the 40 Northern League sides. I think I made it to 19 last year, before the pandemic curtailed the season. Speaking of which, today’s visitors Shildon were promoted from the Northern League to the Northern Premier East on the back of results over TWO incomplete seasons. Good luck in their new venture, hopefully ambition won’t lead to a fall…
I’d previously planned on going to see Annfield Plain v Esh Winning today, as I started last season watching Esh away in a friendly, but a late cancellation due to Covid in the home camp meant a quick change of venue. Well done to Esh and their Twitter feed for letting us know!
I plumped for Crook, partly as I expected a decent turnout and partly as it was one of 2 Northern League grounds garnering a mention in the recently published ‘British Football’s Greatest Grounds’ (the other being Tow Law’s Ironworks Road). And it’s a doozy. Wrought iron gates at the entrance, in the club colours of black and amber, boldly pronounce ‘Crook Town AFC’ as well as the ground’s official name. Being surrounded on 3 sides by housing, the turnstiles and social club are on this side too.
You enter behind the goal, where banking or steps lead up to a large (by NL standards) open terrace. Picnic tables lay at the top, every one being used on a searingly hot day. A pint and a view high up behind the goal. Perfect. The terrace continues around the touchline, with a rickety old roof for cover. The stanchions were again painted in club colours. This is one well looked after ground, as exemplified by the main stand, beautifully painted. This is where I took a pew, mainly to escape the hottest day of the year (probably).
Opposite was a grass bank looking for all it’s worth like a meadow, with flowers in full bloom. A number of folk sat at the top of the bank…maybe they’d read the warnings at the base of the 3 floodlight pylons on that side, ‘No standing on the grass’. But you’d have to walk on the grass to the floodlight to read the sign. Go figure.
Behind the goal was another grass bank, meaning elevated viewing from all 4 sides of the ground. Today, 3 pensioners enjoyed the view from their deckchairs in a back garden, while a young blonde lady sunbathed/watched from on top of her shed roof. Best view in the ground!
The teams came out to no fanfare whatsoever and I was rather surprised to look up to see both sides ready to start. Still, makes a change from various DJs trying to ‘get the crowd going’. The less said about the football in that 1st half, the better. Let’s just say they were warming up, and getting used to the fact the grass was so dry the ball wouldn’t run properly. That, and a lack of ability. I know it was hot, but looking at the size of some of these players, no wonder it was pedestrian. It seemed the size of your thighs denoted whether you got a game in central midfield, as it wasn’t passing ability. Still, it could be a bit tasty, such as when the Shildon captain, midfielder and bearer of extremely large thighs was laid out by a wispy youth on the oppo side. ‘Fuckin’ laugh? I’ll smash you in half!’ I love a friendly.
There were goals in the second half, however. The opener was set up by the Shildon right back, who had the excuse (again) of physique rather than age for his slowness. Unfortunately, his weak header back to the keeper was seized upon by a quick thinking forward who latched onto it and stroked it past the keeper. Later, said right back hit a thunderous shot off the bar from 25 yards, so he could kick a ball, however much it looked like he was panicking every time the ball came to him. At 47, my hopes of a game at semi-professional level are not over.
The goal awoke Shildon though who equalised a couple of minutes later and ran out easy 3-1 winners. A competitive workout in the end, with both sides throwing in some challenges and effort from both sides. Let’s see what the season brings!
The Damage:
£6 ent
£2 hot dog
£1 Coca-Cola
= £9
The Tunes:
BBC 6Music (Jamz Supernova)
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